Chapter 4
Atlee
Either dating had changed since I’d last done it or Casimir was odd.
“If you stand with your back toward that oak, no one nosy will know what we’re doing.” Barely nodding toward the side of his yard as he climbed the stairs, he turned as he reached the top. “And I would like it noted that I kept my eyes to myself and stayed in front of you on our date.”
Okay, maybe both could be true at the same time.
But teasing aside, he’d done his best not to push the limits of fake-dating etiquette.
“I’m not sure if I should thank you for that or feel offended that I wasn’t sexy enough to ogle.” I wasn’t sure it was a great tease, but the flash of a smile it earned me said I hadn’t sounded as awkward as I’d feared I would. “Thank you for the information, though.”
Following him up the porch, I aimed my back toward the tree but didn’t do anything else yet. I’d been thinking about how our date should end and about some of the odd things he’d said when he’d been teasing me, and I knew I was missing something important.
Probably several somethings if I was being honest, but I’d never dated anyone like Casimir, so I couldn’t even begin to start listing them off.
He waited, stubbornly patient in a way I both liked and that drove me crazy.
“Do you want me to make sure they can’t see what we’re doing?” I wasn’t going to argue that no one was watching because that would’ve been stupid. “What would you prefer?”
The one thing I didn’t have to worry about was Casimir not having an opinion.
Oh.
He smiled.
“Those are two very different questions.” He paused, eyes filling with mischief. “Which one would you actually like me to answer?”
They were different?
Thinking about what I’d asked and how it could’ve been taken, I started connecting the dots. “Both, please.”
Maybe?
I’d been very clear about needing a fake boyfriend to help steer my family toward reality, but he’d been equally clear that he thought I was attractive. I just had no idea what that meant and what should happen from there.
I was technically still married since Valerie was dragging her feet as much as humanly possible.
I was also nearly hopeless when it came to dating men. They usually just stared at me oddly like I was supposed to be reading their minds and it was always a minefield to figure things out. Thankfully Casimir wasn’t like that.
“I don’t need privacy unless we’re pretending that you’re giving me a chaste goodnight kiss before you head home. In that case it’ll be easier to keep up the charade if they can’t see what we’re doing.” He had a point, but I waited because it felt like he hadn’t answered the question.
Something had his smile coming back as he shifted against the doorframe, somehow making his body look like it had more curves than I knew it did. “If we’re not pretending, then I’m good either way. I don’t mind giving the busybodies a show but I don’t need exhibitionism to enjoy a goodnight kiss.”
Exhibitionism?
So he didn’t mind it but he didn’t need it?
At what point did public displays of affection become exhibitionism?
While my brain tried to process the odd questions, his smile turned wicked. “I’d like more than a polite peck but I’m not going to push you past your limits. I agreed to a fake date, so I’m just answering your questions.”
Somehow it didn’t feel that way even though he was technically correct.
“Thank you for answering my questions.” Now what? “I’m not comfortable guessing what ‘more than a peck’ means.”
He blinked and I could almost hear the wheels in his head spinning faster. “Do you want me to give you my limits or do you want me to tell you how to please me?”
He asked the most curious questions.
Okay.
He was right…they weren’t the same things even if they sounded like they should be.
“I’m going to admit I wouldn’t ask this with anyone else but…but we’ve started out on a very honest footing.” I told myself I wasn’t going to feel stupid no matter how off-kilter I felt. “Is there a right or wrong answer to that question?”
Something in his expression softened but shifted just enough to have my cock wondering what I was doing. “No. They’re just two different ways to approach the situation, and honestly, I’m proud of you for asking about it. It shows you’re really thinking and I like feeling important.”
I had no idea what to say but that didn’t seem to upset him. Casimir just smiled again and waited while my brain tried to catch up to the conversation. It took entirely too long but nothing in his reactions said he was frustrated with me. “I’d like to know how to please you.”
I didn’t want to have to guess with him and play the sexual version of Twenty Questions to figure out how to kiss him or where I could touch. I’d played that too many times before I’d gotten married and too many times after. I didn’t want to do that with Casimir.
He was different in ways I couldn’t explain.
“Oh, I like that…” Dragging out the words, something in his tone or the heated expression on his face sent a shiver through me I couldn’t quite hide. “That too.”
It was hard to feel ridiculous when I’d clearly turned him on, but I was glad when he opened his arms. “I want another hug and a kiss like you gave me earlier. The tight embrace. Your lips on my neck. Your cock pressed against me.”
Relief rushed through me, even though I couldn’t decide where the confusing reaction came from. Ignoring it was the easiest way to handle it, so I pushed it to the back of my mind as I stepped closer to Casimir.
He settled against me, fitting perfectly and molding his body against mine as I leaned down and kissed his neck again. Just like before, he moaned and I could feel desire racing through him as I pressed my lips against his soft skin.
“You do that so good, baby.” He said it so easily, but no one had ever called me that. I’d always been too boring for pet names. “More teeth. Yes. That’s so…”
He made another low, needy sound as I nibbled and licked up the slender column of his throat. I loved every sound, and not just because he made it easy to know how to please him. They were just sexy and there was no other way to describe it.
Everything he did was sexy and I couldn’t figure out how I hadn’t noticed it before.
“Hold me tighter, baby.” He let out another low, pleased sound as I tightened my arms and slid one hand low on his back. That earned me a huff and I barely held back a laugh. “Tease. Where does that hand belong?”
I made ignoring my silent laugh worth his while by licking around his ear and nibbling on his lobe, but I also obeyed the sexy demand and ran my hand over his ass before giving it a squeeze.
He didn’t make me guess how much he loved it, rocking between my hand and the front of my body as he hugged me just as tight.
“Fuck.” Tilting his head, he moaned out a curse as he shivered and ran his hands along my back. “Your lips…you’re giving me ideas.”
About?
I wasn’t sure I should ask and my silence had him chuckling. “You want to ask. I know you’re curious.”
Yes, but I wasn’t sure I was ready for his answers.
“You’ll answer.” My ridiculous response got a wicked chuckle from him but starting to kiss along his jaw distracted my sexy date. “I’m curious, not stupid.”
His laugh morphed to a low groan as I squeezed his ass and rocked him harder against me. “I approve of this distraction.”
Thank God.
“I’m glad.” As I finally kissed closer to his lips, he straightened his head and his eyes met mine.
There was something in his gaze I wasn’t sure I’d seen before and it sent a flurry of confusion through me.
I’d gotten good at ignoring anything confusing, though, and I used that skill to my full advantage as I focused on giving him everything he’d said he wanted.
Lips. Teeth. Nibbles. Licks.
I took in every sound and breath and shiver as I made love to his mouth and kissed him the way I’d been too nervous to before. When we were breathless and his hips were working a sexy rhythm against my thigh, I slowly straightened after giving him one last innocent peck.
There was silence for several long moments before he smiled again. “You follow directions very well, baby.”
That made me feel better than was probably reasonable, but I managed not to say anything stupid. It’d been entirely too long since I’d made anyone this happy or this aroused and it was clearly going to my head.
The confusing man was patient again, holding me and just letting me breathe.
He might’ve been psychic too because just as my thoughts cleared, he kissed my cheek.
“I’m not going to push you for more unless you want me too.
I know my limits are going to be different than yours for a variety of reasons. ”
“I don’t know my limits when it comes to you.” His pleased smile had me licking my lips again because my mouth was just too dry. “You’re confusing but…you’re also addicting. I’ve spent the last few days walking through that first kiss and telling myself it wasn’t as good as I remembered.”
Leaning closer, he brushed his lips against mine. “It was better.”
Yes…and that might be frightening.
“It was.” Denying that would be stupid and he seemed to appreciate honesty too much to frustrate him that way. “But…but well, how this started aside…”
What was the best way to ask if he was…well…more dynamic than I’d ever dated?
The way he smirked said he was reading my mind again, but he didn’t rush me and I was starting to hate his patience.
It always pushed me to keep going and that had to be rude in some way.
I’d have to figure that out later, though, because he kept up that silent nudge as my brain rolled the question around over and over.
“You’re very good at explaining what you want.” It wasn’t a bad start, but it was slightly pathetic, so I tried again. “You also talk about limits a lot.”
I might’ve spent the last few years married but I hadn’t been living under a rock.
“That might be just the new language of dating. I’ve seen a lot of references to that in shows lately and online.” And when I’d accidentally overheard a group of admins over lunch last week. “I don’t know what to ask about that or what I should assume.”
It might’ve been a long time since I dated a man…but I was positive I’d never dated anyone like Casimir.
Thankfully, he put me out of my misery even though he did it with a smirk. “I won’t get angry at you or offended no matter what you ask as long as it’s not mean-spirited, and I don’t think you have that in you.”
Before I could respond, he reached up and ran one hand over my head, playing with my hair. “Even at your angriest you’ve always been a nice guy.”
The line about them coming in last haunted the back of my mind but he didn’t seem to mean it that way.
“So I don’t want you to overthink your questions.” Still running his fingers around my ear, he smiled distractedly that time. “If you’re asking if I’m a bit more take-charge than the average guy when it comes to some things…then yes.”
He was probably downplaying that desire, but I didn’t interrupt…mostly because I didn’t know what to say.
“I like making sure we both get what we need and what makes us happy.” The look on his face said I’d done a good job of making him happy, which had a nervous part at the back of my brain relaxing. “In this case you needed me to tell you what I wanted so you were comfortable continuing.”
He shrugged it off like he didn’t think anything of it…or think badly of me for not knowing how to proceed. “I like that you didn’t just assume you knew what I wanted and I like how enthusiastically you gave me exactly what I’ve been imagining.”
Hearing that sent confusing thoughts and desires through me, so I ignored them too.
The list of stuff I was ignoring was growing, but I liked feeling good and I wasn’t ready to fuck that up yet.
“I appreciate how you clearly explained what you wanted and didn’t make me guess.” There’d been too much of that for too long, and I didn’t think I could’ve done it again. “I’m going to ask that you keep making what you want just that clear.”
And I hoped I didn’t have to ask that he give me a bit more time to process what that meant.
Casimir paused for a moment before nodding.
“I will make what I want from you clear but you have to tell me if I push you too far or go too fast. Right now, just telling me no will stop everything and I’ll touch base with you.
But if telling me no is too difficult or confusing, I want you to step back and physically put space between us. ”
He just kept bringing my brain to a complete halt.
“In that kind of situation, I’m assuming you wouldn’t be mad or frustrated with me?” Would more reality TV have given me a better background for this conversation? “That’s the last thing I want.”
For reasons I couldn’t quite process yet.
He was supposed to be my fake boyfriend but I wasn’t so sure where we were at any longer.
“The only things that would make me angry are you ignoring a limit to make me happy, lying about what you want, or you ending up in fucking jail.” His glare and the growl in his voice had me trying not to smile. “I’m done with that fucking nonsense. Got it?”
“Got it.” The reminder that he usually made worse decisions than I did made me feel steadier. “No jail. No lying. No ignoring limits.”
Would listening to more LGBT podcasts have helped?
The news clearly hadn’t, so I was going to have to broaden my horizons before I took him out again.
My education definitely hadn’t prepared me for the people in my neighborhood.