Chapter 5
Casimir
Oh, this was going to be fun.
The welcoming committee of crazy had finally found me but I’d needed to wait through two dates and three fabulous kisses before they’d done more than frantically text Atlee.
I’d expected mass chaos at work or even to be accosted at the grocery store, so a knock on my front door was a letdown. Still, I had my part to play and gave the two women wide eyes and a confused smile as I opened the door. “Hello…oh…Valerie.”
Yep, just pregnant enough to be cute but not pregnant enough for it to be Atlee’s.
She’d been pissed when he’d stopped sleeping with her over the winter, and we’d all had to hear about it.
Atlee had tried to be more circumspect but she seemed to think screaming at him in public about their sex life would make him want to have sex more.
Shockingly enough…it didn’t.
“Casimir.” She nodded and used my name, showing me that her spy had given her details because I was pretty sure she hadn’t known it before. “If we could come in.”
She ran her hand over her belly, probably trying to get sympathy as she glanced at what had to be Atlee’s mother.
The woman had sharp features and a rich but useless look about her instead of a working and rich one.
They both seemed to think I was just going to let them in but there was no way on God’s green earth that was going to happen. “No.”
They blinked like they hadn’t expected that response since it hadn’t been presented as a question and their brains seemed to shut down.
After a few seconds, I realized they had no idea what to say to that. “You have trouble with the truth and your nearly ex-mother-in-law doesn’t seem to live in the same reality as everyone else. I’m not going to deliberately put myself alone with you two without cameras.”
I was dramatic, not a moron.
That finally got me a sickeningly sweet smile from Valerie and she shook her head. “Don’t be silly. We just want to talk.”
How stupid did she think I was?
“No.” Glancing back and forth between them, I raised one eyebrow. “Is there anything else?”
I shouldn’t have asked but I was too curious to just close the door. It was going to be my downfall one day, but I couldn’t help it. I’d been a nosy child who’d turned into an even nosier adult, so I just had to live with that wonderful character trait.
“You…” Atlee’s mother’s voice trailed off before she got a full thought out, but I was patient. I had about an hour before my date with my sexy cutie and probably ten minutes before he got home from work as long as traffic wasn’t too bad. That meant I had time to kill and just stood there.
They didn’t seem to know what to do with that either.
Silence was more fun than most people realized.
As I wondered why they needed to be in my living room to start their production, they glanced back and forth between each other. That killed at least another twenty seconds and gave more neighbors the chance to join in on the watch party, so I wasn’t going to rush them.
When their brains finally shifted gears, Atlee’s mother…whose name I still didn’t know…smiled politely, but it didn’t reach her eyes. “Would you be a dear and get Atlee’s wife some water? Pregnancy is hard. I’m sure you understand.”
How would I understand that?
“You’re good.” Smiling, I nodded approvingly. “Almost ex, except she’s dragging out the divorce, and you managed to make it sound like it’s Atlee’s baby. Impressive. But no.”
And they went back to blinking.
Not impressive.
Valerie was processing faster and frowned. “Being a father is more than just genetics. He’s going to be amazing with the baby.”
Okay, I’d give her part of that.
“You need his consent to make that one work, sweetie.” Looking between the two crazy women, I waited expectantly. “I’m not entertaining the current brand of nonsense. Anything else?”
I was really glad Atlee had said I didn’t have be polite to their insanity.
“You know this isn’t what’s best for the baby.” Shifting her frown to look slightly concerned and confused, she shook her head. “You can’t be this selfish with taking a man from his family.”
That might’ve worked if I hadn’t gotten a front row seat to her bad decisions.
“Have you been craving pizza lately, Valerie?” As she sucked in a breath, I smiled. “Cravings must be hard, especially when you know you shouldn’t want them.”
Ha.
Her eyes went wide as her ex-mother-in-law actually seemed to look confused.
Had she not heard that story?
I managed to look much sweeter than Valerie ever could as I focused on Atlee’s mother. “Be careful if you have any teenage nephews. You never know what predators could be lurking around.”
Bitch.
Valerie recovered fairly quickly, letting out a slightly ragged breath and giving crazy number two a sad expression. “You don’t know what I had to deal with here…and now this…it’s…”
Atlee’s mother was a moron.
She reached out and wrapped one arm around Valerie’s shoulder, thankfully steering her off my porch. “We can’t help people who make these kinds of decisions, dear. Come on. Think happy thoughts. We’ve got cake to pick out.”
For fuck’s sake.
Cake?
Still?
I rolled my eyes as they walked down to where they were parked in front of the house and couldn’t resist calling out as I leaned against the doorframe.
“Just a little thought…it might be easier to talk him into the second wedding if you stopped picking out dessert he hates and food he’s allergic to. ”
Some people just weren’t that bright.
They both looked back at me and frowned.
God.
Did they not remember those little issues or did they just not care?
Was it one of those only the woman counts at the wedding kind of nonsense?
How had Atlee ended up with these two morons in his life?
Someone had clearly cursed the poor man at birth because this much bad luck with women couldn’t be accidental.
Oops.
They’d gotten the timing wrong.
Their dramatically slow walk to the car and the way Valerie carefully lowered herself into the passenger seat took up more time than they’d expected and it seemed like Atlee had gotten off work earlier than even I’d guessed.
He was as smart as he was sexy and didn’t miss their theatrics as he leaned against his car, catching the last of their performance.
The way he crossed his arms over his chest and glared was sexier than he probably understood, so he had my motor running before he’d started crossing the street. By the time he got to the porch, I was itching to have my hands on him but had to behave. “They put on quite the show.”
He grumbled something low under his breath but got control of his frustration as he climbed the stairs. “Are you okay?”
Oh, he was adorable.
“Yes, their performance was focused on looking pathetic and shifting the narrative. I’m sure they’ll try loud and obnoxious next time.” I hoped so at least. That’d be more fun. “For some reason they thought I’d be stupid enough to let them in my house.”
He frowned, rant stopping before it could get started. “What?”
“I know.” Shrugging, I reached out and grabbed his tie to pull him closer. “They need to do better at planning next time. They had no idea what to do when I said no.”
Every plan needed contingencies.
That finally had a smile peeking out as he stood right in front of me. “Did you have fun making them feel like idiots?”
He was starting to know me too well. “Yes.”
My honesty got a laugh and a quick peck from Atlee. His confidence was growing and it was sexy too. “I know you handled it perfectly yourself, but I’m sorry they’re…ridiculous.”
That was one word for it.
“You’ll just have to make it up to me later.” We both seemed to be ignoring the whole fake relationship aspect as he kissed my cheek again. “That’s a start.”
Something was brewing behind his eyes, but I wasn’t going to randomly guess. Besides his obvious frustration with the drama queens, there was nothing in his behavior that said he was stressed with me. In fact, a tiny smile peeked out as he sighed. “I’ll have to try harder then.”
Interesting.
Before I could tease him again, his expression shifted to slightly more thoughtful. “But I have a feeling you’ll be able to tell me exactly how to please you.”
Hmm.
Was he finally ready to stop dancing around the whole not really that vanilla conversation? He’d been in a mostly processing kind of mode since our first date, so I hadn’t wanted to rush him.
“I’d be more than happy to spell that out for you.” And I’d love to get a peek into what he was thinking as well. “First, I think I need to feed you, though.”
I’d quickly come to learn that he had a bad habit of skipping lunch to get more work done and he looked a bit too worn down, even for a Friday.
Yes…there was that sheepish smile.
“What sounds good to you?” He tried to distract me and it shouldn’t work, but I thought his hand in the cookie jar expression was cute. “You mentioned steaks the other day.”
He had a very good memory for little details because that’d been a tiny comment when we were checking the mail at the same time.
“That sounds good.” Part of me wanted to suggest staying home for a quiet evening but I wasn’t sure where we were at.
Fake dating needed public dating…but real intimacy and BDSM needed privacy at some point.
“Great.” His bright expression was so cute I couldn’t help giving him another kiss before releasing my hold on him. “Give me about twenty minutes?”
Hmm.
“You’re very distracting like that…I need half an hour if I’m handling business myself or twenty if you’re helping me handle it later.” His head cocked and for a moment he had a confused puppy expression.
That quickly shifted as his eyes went wide and heat flashed through him. “I.”
He stopped, not moving away and not agreeing.
It took a few long moments for him to process his options but nothing in his body language said I needed to worry.
When he finally licked his lips, he let out a quiet breath he probably thought was subtle.
“I think twenty minutes should work unless you change your mind.”
Interesting.
“No, I know what I want but we don’t have to be on the same page with it.
” Deciding to push just a bit, I ran my hand down my chest and trailed my fingers over the bulge in my pants before letting my hand fall to my side.
“I’m well-versed in taking care of myself, but I think you’d be good company if you’re interested. ”
It was a subtle invitation coming from me, but my adorable neighbor was wonderfully proper in the cutest way.
Clearing his throat, he stood straighter and his hands jerked at his sides. “I’m interested. I just…”
Curious to see where he was taking the conversation, I gave him the faintest nod and waited for him to be able to continue. It didn’t take as long as it probably felt like. “I think I need to ask a few clarifying questions before we get to that point.”
“Suits are sexy but so are brains.” My response had him rolling his eyes and looking a bit steadier. “I welcome any questions and will do my best to answer them appropriately while we’re at dinner.”
Atlee jolted slightly like he hadn’t thought about that aspect and his gaze went distracted as his mind churned. “Yes…how about…”
I loved how quickly his brain worked when sex wasn’t involved.
“How about we do that steakhouse down by the river? It’s on the more casual side but there should be a lot of privacy.” Focused on me again, he blinked a few times. “Will that work for you?”
“I think that’s a wonderful option.” It was on the more romantic side too, but I wasn’t sure if he was intending it that way. “And depending on how long dinner takes we could wander down the river walk?”
Even more romantic, but his easy nod didn’t give me anything to go on.
“Sure, that sounds perfect.” Shifting, he glanced toward the stairs. “I’ll be back in about twenty minutes.”
That reminder had a faint grin peeking out from his usually neutral expression, and I couldn’t help giving him a wicked one in return. “I’m looking forward to it.”
And to finally hearing the questions he’d been dancing around on our last couple of dates.
He probably wasn’t seeing it the same way I was but he nodded slowly as he headed for the yard and didn’t look panicked. “Me too.”
So he was curious?
Not horrified?
Confused?
Atlee was the cutest kind of straightlaced but that also meant he played his emotions close to the vest. It had to be part personality and part environment.
His mother was definitely the boys don’t cry kind of mom that made me have to work at biting my tongue, but I wasn’t sure how that would affect him now.
If boys didn’t cry, could men submit?