Chapter 42
Teddy gave up on trying to get back to sleep at five o’clock.
The ache in his chest had spread to his arms and his legs.
Slowing all his movements and making his head heavy.
He tied his hair into a bun and scratched his chin as he surveyed the piles in front of him on Jessica’s kitchen table.
Sam’s favourite plush dinosaur was already in his car.
It was the first thing he’d done last night after walking through the front door.
It didn’t matter if he didn’t get everything else exactly right, but he wasn’t going to forget something that could bring Sam some comfort.
There were fresh clothes for both Jessica and Sam, including one of his hoodies for her in case the hospital was cold. What else did he need? He spun around slowly, stopping to scratch Blue’s head. Right. Better make sure the cat had plenty of food and water in case Sam’s discharge was delayed.
Blue pressed her head against Teddy’s hand more insistently, curling her body as close to Teddy’s arm as possible, silently asking for a cuddle.
Teddy wasn’t about to complain. He could use one too.
“They’ll be home soon,” he said as he lifted the kitten into his arms. And there was no reason to believe they wouldn’t.
Jessica had called last night to say Sam’s surgery had gone well and she’d be fine to manage overnight with whatever stuff she had with her.
She’d also said that everything with Rob was fine now and she’d explain everything later.
Knowing all that didn’t stop Teddy from tossing and turning all night. Or maybe that was because he wasn’t used to being here without Jessica or Sam.
Blue tucked her head into Teddy’s elbow, her soft purrs a soothing balm to Teddy’s frayed nerves. He needed to get back to Jessica. Then he’d feel better.
His phone buzzed, and he snatched it off the counter.
Lulu: Are you awake?
He’d been trying to talk to his mother for days, but she’d frozen him out, avoided his calls.
Teddy hit call and Lulu answered on the first ring.
“Darling, are you at Jessica’s?”
“Yes.” His tone was guarded, apprehensive.
“Is she home? And Sam? I heard about the accident.”
“They’re still at the hospital.”
“I’m outside. I was hoping we could talk.”
“Are you going to be nice? Because I can’t deal with anything else right now,” slipped out before Teddy could stop it, but he wasn’t going to beat himself up about it.
Not when it was the truth. Not when he needed to get better at standing up for himself and his family because that’s what Jessica and Sam were now.
“I promise, darling.”
Not bothering to put Blue down, Teddy headed to the front of the house.
“Hey Mum,” he said once he’d opened the door.
Lulu was in her early morning walking clothes, and her sneakers squeaked against the hardwood floor as she entered. “I wanted to make sure you were all okay.”
Teddy eyed her warily. “Sam’s been better, that’s for sure.”
Lulu clucked her tongue and rubbed Teddy’s arm.
“Sounds like you all have. There’s nothing worse than when your kids are sick or injured.
” Her tone was so soothing, … so normal.
Teddy wanted to wrap himself in the familiarity of it.
Take a deep breath and pretend everything was okay. Just for a second.
“How’s Jessica?”
They walked down the hallway. “Better now Sam’s out of surgery and recovering. I’m heading back to Melbourne soon.”
Lulu nodded. “Good, good. Can I help with anything?”
“I’ve got it.” Teddy shifted Blue to his other arm so he could unplug the phone charger Jessica kept next to the toaster.
“What about some meals? Pack some snacks? If I know boys, they’re always hungry.” Lulu strode into the kitchen and started opening cupboard doors.
What happened to wanting to talk? Are we just going to pretend everything’s normal?
Lulu pulled out a bag of rice crackers with seaweed flakes. “Does Sam like these?”
A wave of protectiveness for Jessica and her home rolled over Teddy, and he shooed Lulu out of the way. “He prefers the ones without seaweed. Those are Jessica’s favourites. Besides, I’ve got some other stuff already packed.” He gestured at the Coles bag he’d already filled with snacks.
“Hmm,” Lulu said.
Teddy set Blue down on the cat tree he’d bought her a couple of weeks ago. “Hmm, what?”
“I underestimated you, Ted.”
That didn’t feel like a compliment. Teddy’s face must’ve betrayed him because Lulu continued, “I didn’t mean it like that. I didn’t realise how real all of this was. I was hopeful, but you kept telling me to temper my expectations and then …” She placed her hands on the counter.
“Mum—”
“I wasn’t there when you got married.”
Teddy stepped forward. “Mum—”
“And I know you’re an adult and you can do whatever you want, Teddy. This deal that you and Jessica had was between the two of you. I just wasn’t expecting it, and I shouldn’t have said such cruel things. I feel terrible about that.”
“Mum—”
“But parents make mistakes too. You know, we’re human too.”
This time, Teddy didn’t even get the word ‘Mum’ out before Lulu steamrolled over him, adding gestures to her frenzied speech.
“But you were always my little shadow. Raff and Owen were so pragmatic and self-sufficient. And Nate was always off in his own world, making up stories or chasing footballs from sun-up to sundown. We had a special thing going on, you and me.”
Teddy softened his gaze. “You still need to apologise to Jessica. What you said to her was out of line.”
Lulu had the good grace to look chastened. “I know and I will.”
“Because she’s my wife and I really love her, Mum. This might all seem sudden, but I’ve always liked Jess”—Teddy tugged at the neck of his T-shirt—“and thought she was beautiful. If anything, I thought she was too good for someone like me.”
Lulu’s eyes flashed and Teddy laughed, the weight on his shoulders lightening.
“Calm down. I know that’s not true. All I mean is Jess has always had her life together.
Even when everything fell apart with Rob she figured out how to survive.
And I’ve been so focused on having fun that I didn’t realise I could grow up whenever I wanted to.
The only person stopping me was me. This ridiculous situation has shown me what I want and how happy I can be. ”
Lulu tucked into his side, her arms sliding around his middle. “That’s all I’ve ever wanted for you. I’ve been trying to figure out how I could make this up to you both, but I think maybe the best thing I can do is be quietly supportive. So this is me. Being quiet. And supportive.”
Teddy swallowed a snort.
“I can be quiet!”
Ahh, the irony. He chuckled and Lulu’s outraged expression dissolved.
“I am sorry,” she said.
Teddy enveloped her in another hug, squeezing tightly, just like he’d done ever since he was a little boy. “Me too, Mum.”
Lulu sniffed and wiped under her eyes, returning to the open pantry. “Now, what about stuff for Jessica? I can run home and whip something up for you to take with you?”
“It’s okay. I’ve got plenty, and she’s not fussy with food.”
“Another thing that’s been bothering me is how little we know about Jessica. If she’s so important to you, I want to know her better, Teddy.”
“You will, Mum. I promise.”
“Okay. But when everything settles down, and I’ve apologised to Jessica properly, I’d like us to have a ‘welcome to the family’ dinner for Jessica and Sam. Nothing big or overwhelming. If that’s alright with all of you.”
Teddy squeezed her hand. “That’d be nice. I’m sure Jess would love it. I’d better hit the road.”
“Teddy,” Lulu paused. “If I could offer one piece of unsolicited advice?”
Teddy raised his eyebrows and waited.
“Don’t be afraid to go all in. If this is it, give it everything you’ve got, okay?”
He patted his pocket, felt the ring pouch he’d slipped in there earlier.
“I’m going to, Mum.”