Chapter 14
HARPER
“Ihave to admit, you make a lot more sense now,” Harper told Theo as they walked across the grounds in the light of the rising moon.
He might have glanced over at her. She couldn’t have said for sure — she kept her gaze fixed ahead, feeling as though the peace between them was a fragile soap bubble that might pop at any moment, but she felt the weight of his attention. “I make more sense now?”
“What you told me about your family,” she explained.
He tensed. “What about it?”
“I’m sorry. I’m not trying to be invasive,” she said.
“We don’t have to discuss it if you don’t want to.
But it’s just… you make sense to me now.
How hard you work. When I thought work was the only thing you cared about, it didn’t add up that you could also really love your brother.
But I could see that you did. It’s obvious by the way you are around one another that he looks up to you, and that you’d do anything for him. ”
“That’s true,” Theo murmured.
“So, I couldn’t understand why you didn’t seem to want to help plan this wedding.
I’m so excited about it, I just couldn’t see why you didn’t feel the same way.
But I get it now. You do want to take care of your brother.
You just do it so differently from the way I would.
You do it by making sure he’s provided for financially.
I get that. If I were in your shoes, I bet I would want to do exactly the same thing. ”
They walked along in silence for a moment. Theo didn’t acknowledge what she’d said. But Harper thought she understood him well enough by now to know that if she had gotten it wrong, he wouldn’t have let it slide. He would have tried to argue with her.
She had him right. She was sure of it.
But then he spoke, and he managed to surprise her after all. “The truth is,” he said, “I’m not sure this is the right thing for him.”
“What? You mean… marrying Tara?” She bristled. If he thought he could say anything negative to her about her best friend, he had misunderstood her, and badly.
“Don’t get me wrong,” he said quickly. “Tara’s an amazing woman. I don’t think he could find anyone better. And they’ve got kids together, and they’re a family, and I support that. All of it.”
“So, then, what don’t you support?”
“It’s the idea of marriage. Why do they need to do that? They’ve already got a good thing going, so why mess with success?”
They reached the rustic wishing well at the back of the property. There were a few benches around it, and Harper moved to sit down on one of them. Theo followed suit.
“I guess they just want to make things official,” Harper said. “I can’t really blame them for that — can you?”
“I mean, why, though?” Theo asked. “It doesn’t make it any less likely that they’ll break up.”
“I don’t think they see it as that,” Harper said, slightly taken aback. “I know Tara doesn’t. She’s not marrying your brother to make sure he doesn’t leave.”
“Then why is she doing it?”
“Because she loves him,” Harper said. “Because… because she wants to stand up in front of her friends and family and celebrate the fact that they love each other. And because she wants to show her kids that they really are a family, in every way possible. I think it’s a beautiful thing. You really don’t think so?”
“I just don’t see what good it does anyone,” Theo said. “It won’t change anything. And I’m not saying they’d ever split up, but if they ever do, all that legal paperwork just makes things that much more difficult.”
“Well, that’s romantic.”
“That’s the whole problem,” he said. “People get so soppy and romantic about these things, and they forget to be practical. Marriage isn’t practical. You’re spending a bunch of money — and I’m happy to spend money for my brother, don’t get me wrong — but I just don’t see why he wants this so much.”
“So, you never want to get married?”
“Marriage made my parents miserable,” Theo said. “You’d never catch me doing that, no. I’m much happier on my own than I could ever be tied to someone else.”
“It seems a little sad,” Harper said. “You’ll just… never be in love enough to want to marry someone? You’re so sure?”
“To tell you the truth, I don’t see myself falling in love at all,” he said. “That’s a lot of reliance on another person, and I find things go most smoothly in life when you just rely on yourself. At least you can trust yourself.”
“I suppose,” she murmured. It sounded awfully lonely to her, but if that was what he wanted, she supposed it was a good thing that he knew it.
He glanced at her. “You’re not married either,” he pointed out.
“But I’d like to be.”
“Do you have a boyfriend? Or is that too personal a question?”
“It’s not,” she said. “You’d find out at the wedding anyway, because I’m not going to bring a date.”
“So, you’re single?”
“Afraid so.” She scuffed her foot on the ground. It was dangerously easy to confide in him under cover of darkness, and that scared her a little, but not enough to stop her from talking. “Truth is, I always thought I would be married by this point in my life, but it’s never happened.”
“Why not?”
“Haven’t met the right guy,” she said. “I’d love to be married, but I don’t want it badly enough to get hitched to just any old person.
You worry about marriage not making people happy…
well, I could see that happening to me if I’m not careful.
But that doesn’t make me want to give up on the idea entirely.
I just want to make sure I choose the right person.
And if that means I have to wait a while, then I guess that’s how it has to be.
” She sighed. “I am starting to wonder whether he’s out there at all, though. ”
“You mean, because you haven’t found him yet?”
“Yeah. It seems less likely with each passing year.”
“I bet you will.” He paused for a moment. “You’d make a good wife, I think.”
“You do?”
“Sure. I mean, it isn’t something I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about — what would make a good wife — but you care about people.
You take care of people. You’re a good friend, and you’re responsible, and if someone was looking for a partner, you seem like you’d be good at that.
I’d choose you for a business partner, if I was looking for one. ”
“Thanks.” She laughed. “That’s an oddly sweet thing to say.”
He laughed too. “Well, I meant every word,” he told her.
“The weird thing is, I think you’d be good at marriage too, if you decided it was something you wanted,” she said. “I mean, if you ever managed to get out of your own head about it, that is.”
“I could never get married. I’d spend the whole time thinking about how my dad ran out on my mom,” he said.”
“That wouldn’t be you. You wouldn’t run out.”
“Got me all figured out?”
“Well, I know you take duty and family seriously,” she said. “I know you’re not the kind of man who would abandon his family like your father did to you. Even if your marriage did fall apart. Although, to be honest, I don’t think that would happen to you either.”
“Well, you really can’t know that.”
“Of course not. I’m just saying, there are people who give up when the going gets tough, but I don’t think you’re one of them. I think you would try to make it work, even if that was hard. I think you’d fight for a long time before walking away from something.” She looked at him. “Am I wrong?”
“You do think you have me figured out.” There was a bite in his tone that let her know he wasn’t altogether pleased with her guessing games.
“These are things I admire about you,” she told him. “You do get that I’m complimenting you here, right? I think you’re a good man. If you don’t want to get married, that’s your business, but I’m just saying that if you did want to, you’d be good at it.”
He nodded. “I think I was pretty good at taking care of my brother,” he said.
“After Dad left, I had to step into that role a little bit, and all I ever wanted was to make sure he was happy and that he didn’t feel like anything was lacking in his life.
I did the best I could for Max. I guess, if I think about it, maybe that’s why he isn’t as turned off to the idea of marriage as I am.
I always tried to shelter him from the worst of everything that was going on.
I don’t think he always saw how difficult things were.
He knew Dad was gone, and he knew we didn’t have as much money as we did when we were little, because there were no more luxury vacations and expensive toys.
But I don’t know if he got how much Mom was struggling.
I don’t think he ever walked in on her crying over the bills at night.
I did everything I could to make sure he didn’t see that. ”
“You’re a really good brother to him,” Harper said softly. She was surprised by how moving she found Theo’s confession to be. He really did love his brother.
“I know this wedding is important to him,” Theo said. “I’ll do whatever I can to make sure it’s perfect.”
“I think it’ll be perfect no matter what,” Harper said.
“I know I’ve been fixating on the details, but the important thing is that Max and Tara are getting married.
They’re going to be a family. That’s what they really want.
You were right when you said that all these little things I’ve been stressing over aren’t going to matter in the end. ”
“Well, you were right too. I know you’re just trying to make beautiful memories for them.
” He looked over at her. The dusk obscured his face, for the most part, but she thought she saw him smile.
“I’m going to be more cooperative,” he told her.
“I’m going to stop pushing back on every little thing.
I know I’ve made this more difficult than it needed to be, and I’m sorry for that. ”
“You’re just trying to make sure they have the best of everything,” she said. “I respect it.”
“Yeah, well, you’re the actual wedding planner, so maybe I should take a step back and listen to your advice a little bit,” he said. “I’m going to stop trying to control everything and actually follow your lead on this.”
“If you mean that, I appreciate it.” She wasn’t inclined to take his word for it.
After all, they had already had a lot of tension between the two of them, and it seemed too good to be true that things could simply be easy between them now.
That they could get on the same page and plan this wedding without any more conflict. That would be a miracle.
But on the other hand, she had never felt more in tune with him than she did tonight, sitting in the light of the rising moon and finally speaking openly with one another.
So, who was to say? Maybe they’d discover that miracles were possible after all.