Chapter 15
THEO
“Ihave to hand it to you,” Theo said. “This place really is kind of perfect.”
The two of them were back inside now. They had pushed a bunch of the most comfortable-looking furniture over to the fire and found some blankets in a wicker container at one end of the room.
It was a makeshift sleeping arrangement, but as Theo punched a throw pillow into shape behind his head, he had to admit that it was a lot more comfortable than he had any right to expect.
“You really like it?” Harper asked him.
“I really do,” he said. “I think we should go with this for the wedding.”
“Not the Crystal Ballroom?”
“No, you were right about that place. It’s completely impersonal. It’ll look beautiful in the pictures, but it won’t make them feel anything.”
“I thought the same thing,” Harper said. “I’m glad you see it that way. I wasn’t sure you would.”
“This place reminds me of a vacation we took once,” Theo said.
“You mean, before your dad left?”
“No, actually. Much later.” He smiled, remembering.
It had been so long since he had thought about this.
“I went to work as soon as I was old enough to get a job so I could help support the family, and I saved up as much money as I could. In my senior year of high school, I’d gotten enough together to treat Max and our mom to a little getaway.
We got a cabin for the weekend — it wasn’t spacious or fancy like this place, but the aesthetic was similar.
The exposed woodwork, the fire, even the colors, the deep greens and browns.
It all reminds me of that place and that trip.
It’s such a lovely memory. And I’m sure Max will be reminded of the same thing when he sees it. ”
“Then it’s perfect,” Harper said, her voice warm and satisfied. “That’s exactly what I want. Nostalgia is so powerful. And I think there’s something beautiful about reflecting on moments from your past as you step into the future.”
Theo smiled to himself in the dark. That was such a Harper thing to say.
She was always coming out with stuff like that — stuff that sounded like she must have read it in a book of poems or something.
At first, he had found it strange, but now it was such a quintessential part of who she was that he couldn’t help being charmed by it.
She wasn’t putting on a show when she said things like that, she meant it genuinely. And that made it kind of beautiful.
Besides, she was right. There was something sweet about the idea of Max tying the memories from their shared childhood into the future he was making with Tara.
With their own children. It united the family, which was what marriage was all about.
And for the first time since this wedding had been announced, Theo could see the point of what they were trying to do here.
He could understand the desire to formalize the relationship between Max and Tara.
Getting married… it still wasn’t for him, but he thought he could begin to understand why it might be for his brother.
And maybe he could even agree that Max was making the right decision.
“It’s a little chilly in here,” Harper said.
He looked at her. “You’re cold?”
“I’m used to sleeping with more blankets.”
“Should we look around? Maybe there are more around here somewhere.”
“No, I think we got them all.” The problem was that all the blankets they had were so thin. They would have been great for laying over your lap during a long fireside chat, but for sleeping under, they felt subpar. He wasn’t surprised that she was cold. He was a little chilly himself.
He thought for a moment. Then he got up, walked around to the far side of the couch he’d been lying on, and pushed it toward Harper.
She sat up on her own couch. “What are you doing?”
“It’ll be warmer if we’re closer together,” he said.
She watched as he pushed his couch all the way over to hers. He stopped just short of the point where they would have collided. It felt weird to have them that close. It would have been like sharing a bed.
“You may as well,” she said. “If there’s only going to be a foot between us anyway.”
“I don’t want to make you uncomfortable.”
“I’m not uncomfortable,” she told him. “It’s all right. We’re already locked in here together, right? This is already weird. It’s not going to bother me if we get a little bit closer.”
He nodded. Something about the way she’d phrased that had his heart pounding madly in his chest. Half of him wished that they could turn on the lights, that they could break the tension in the room. The other half of him was strangely glad that it wasn’t an option.
He pushed his couch right up against hers. Then he threw his leg over the back and climbed onto the shared space he’d created for them. He positioned himself so that his head and hers were at opposite ends, so they were facing one another, and leaned back against the arm.
She watched him as he got settled, her eyes glinting in the darkness, saying nothing.
“This okay?” he asked.
“It’s fine.” She paused. “It’s good. You were right. This is warmer. Even though it’s a little…. weird for us to sleep like this.”
“Well, I don’t know that I’ll be sleeping anytime soon anyway,” he said. “Truth is, I’m not that tired.”
“You’d think we would be, given the day we’ve had,” she agreed. “But I’m not tired either. I don’t know… it’s like I had an energy drink or something and it’s keeping me awake.”
“It’s the adrenaline. The car stalling out, breaking into this place…”
“We didn’t break in. Nothing is broken. We opened an unlocked door.”
“Yeah, why don’t they lock their doors?”
“I mean, probably because they aren’t worried about people breaking in.” She grinned. “In our defense, it’s not like we aren’t going to pay for everything we consumed while we’re here. We’re going to be paying guests as soon as they give us the opportunity to do that.”
Theo laughed. “Have you always been this much fun?”
“I have no idea what you’re talking about. You hate spending time with me, remember?”
“Oh, stop. You know I don’t. You know I never did. I didn’t understand you, that was all.”
“And you understand me now?”
“You understand me now, don’t you?”
“Better than I did,” she said. “What you told me about your family really helped me see the world through your eyes. But does that go both ways?”
“Sure it does.”
“Lay it on me, then. What do you see about me that you didn’t before?”
“You’re not just obsessed with planning the perfect wedding,” he told her. “You’re a romantic. You’re thrilled for your friend, because her dreams are coming true, but at the same time, it makes you feel sad because you’re not sure whether the same thing will ever happen for you.”
She was quiet for a moment. “You make me sound so selfish.”
“I don’t mean it that way,” he assured her, scooting forward slightly and sitting upright.
“I don’t think it’s selfish at all, Harper.
It’s natural for you to take stock of your own life while your friend is going through such a significant milestone.
Actually, I think it’s incredibly selfless of you to put in the work to make this day so memorable for her even while you’re feeling conflicted about it.
You never let anyone see those feelings. You keep them to yourself.”
“But you saw them.”
“Yeah, well, I think you let me see them today. I think you and I got a little less guarded with each other.”
“And that doesn’t make me selfish?”
“Don’t worry about it. I’m sure the walls will go back up as soon as we get out of here. Am I selfish for thinking about how much I don’t like the idea of marriage while my little brother is about to do it?”
“If you had asked me that yesterday, I would have said you were,” she said with a light laugh.
“But now?”
“Of course you aren’t selfish. You went through a lot of complicated things to bring you to this point. Your feelings are natural.” She sat forward too and hugged her knees. “I guess it’s all right for both of us to feel some complicated things at a time like this.”
“That’s the way I see it. As long as we still do everything we can to give them the wedding they both deserve, what we have going on in the privacy of our own minds and hearts is our business.”
“And each other’s business, now, I guess,” Harper said.
Theo nodded slowly. “It’s kind of good to know that there’s going to be someone at this wedding who gets the way I feel about it all,” he admitted. “It makes it a little less isolating.”
“That’s funny,” Harper said. “I was just thinking the same thing. And the strangest part is that I was so disappointed at the thought of you being my partner at the wedding.”
“You were, huh?”
“Well, I was looking forward to having a cute best man to dance with!”
He raised his eyebrows. “You saying I’m not cute?”
“Stop that.” She reached out and swatted at him. “You know that isn’t what I’m saying.”
He caught her arm, meaning to fend her off, but he held on a second too long. They seemed to realize at the same moment that they were touching, and Theo thought, I need to let go of her.
But he didn’t.
“What are you saying, then?” he asked, his voice coming out in a lower register than he’d meant it to.
She searched his gaze, cleared her throat. “I’m saying… I’m just saying that I thought I’d be paired with someone who would want to spend the night dancing with me. I thought I’d be with someone who was as excited about the wedding as I am, and that we’d be caught up in the moment, and…”
She trailed off, her eyes moving to his hand on her arm. He loosened his grip slightly, but he didn’t let go, and suddenly it felt less like he was fending her off and more like he was pulling her in.
“And?” he prompted, surprised by the way his heart was beating double-time, by how eager he was to hear whatever she was going to say next.
“It would be a romantic moment,” she murmured. “But that’s not you. I know how you feel about romance.”
“You know how I feel about marriage,” he countered. “You don’t know how I feel about romance.”
He saw the moment her breath caught.
He rose up to his knees, pulling her toward him, moving with no thought and no plan. It was all instinct. All action and chemistry and heat.
And then she was in his arms and his mouth was on hers.
The taste of her! She was intoxicating. Suddenly, he couldn’t believe he had waited this long to kiss her.
He couldn’t believe that he’d failed to recognize the constant tension between the two of them for what it was.
How had he not seen it? He’d thought he was annoyed by her, but he had also felt that strange draw to her in spite of his annoyance.
He’d set it aside, hadn’t let himself think too deeply about it, but now…
She fell back, pulling him down with her into the softness and the warmth of their makeshift bed.
I shouldn’t be doing this. It could ruin everything.
But he couldn’t turn things around now. They had come too far.