Chapter 22 Theo
THEO
They were surrounded by the rest of the wedding party, so the dance shouldn’t have felt private or personal, and yet, somehow, it did.
Theo watched as Harper looked anywhere but directly at him.
She was still avoiding him. How long could this go on?
He had assumed, as this day had grown closer, that the wedding would be where they would finally put their demons to rest. He had assumed that seeing one another again would allow them to get past the awkwardness.
But that didn’t seem to be happening. Harper was as uncomfortable as ever.
The morning after their night together, he had truly believed that she was comfortable with everything that had happened.
He had thought the two of them were on the same page.
Now it looked as if he had misread her altogether, and he didn’t know what to do about that.
But this might be the last chance he would ever get to make things right.
This was the only time fate was going to throw the two of them together.
After today, if they wanted to see one another, they would have to actively seek each other out.
There would be no more events like this one. The wedding was it.
He led her away from the center of the dance floor, towards the edge.
Things were a little more private here. It was less likely that people would overhear them talking, and more likely, therefore, that she would speak openly.
“Harper,” he said, “I was hoping you and I would be able to go on being friends when this was all over.”
Now Harper looked at him. Disbelief was etched across her features. “You weren’t hoping that,” she said. “You’ve never been interested in being friends with me. You barely even put up with me, Theo. Don’t act like I’m betraying you.”
“I thought we were past all that.”
She sighed. “I can’t help feeling awkward,” she admitted. “You must be able to understand that.”
“Of course I can. I don’t know why you pretended any differently. It’s natural, I think, for both of us to feel a little strange about it all. But that doesn’t mean that we need to let those feelings control every interaction between us for the rest of time.”
She looked up at him. “But isn’t this the last time we’re ever going to see each other? I don’t know why we would ever get together again now that the wedding is over.”
“I’d like it if we did,” Theo said. “I’d like to go on seeing you.”
“Seeing me?”
“As friends.”
“I knew what you meant.”
“Do you really not believe I want you as a friend?”
“I don’t know if I believe you want anybody as a friend,” Harper said.
“I’m not judging you, Theo. I’m not angry with you, believe it or not.
You just have never struck me as someone who’s interested in your own social life.
I don’t see you going out of your way to make friends with anyone.
I don’t take it personally, but no, I don’t think you are interested in building a lasting friendship. ”
“And if I said that I was?”
She looked uncomfortable. In fact, now that he thought about it, she looked even more uncomfortable than he could have anticipated she might. It was as if something was really bothering her. But he couldn’t put his finger on what that thing might be.
He came to a halt and took a step back from her. “Are you really this upset by what happened between us?” He was a little concerned now. “I thought you had a good time.”
“We did have a good time,” she assured him. “And I agree with what you said. I don’t regret it either. But I’m not going to pretend that it doesn’t change things between us.”
He didn’t think she sounded angry. If anything, it was sadness in her tone. But he couldn’t understand what she had to be sad about.
“Speech!”
The call had come from across the room. A group of people were facing the head table, where Tara had gotten to her feet.
She was holding a champagne glass in her hand, and she must have already had quite a lot, because she was swaying a little bit on her feet.
Her cheeks were pink, the way Theo had seen them get when she was a little bit tipsy.
She rested one hand on Max’s shoulder for support, and he looked up at her with adoration in his eyes.
Theo felt a painful clinching in his chest. He didn’t understand it. It was a good thing that his brother was happy, and he loved Tara. But there was something about the scene before him, something about seeing Max look at Tara like that, that caused him pain.
Tara leaned against the table as she began to speak. “I want to thank everyone for being here today,” she said. Theo was impressed to see that she wasn’t slurring her words. He had to admit he had worried about that. He looked over at Harper, and the two of them shared a smile.
At least they could still do that much.
Tara was still talking. “It means the absolute world to have everyone I love here with me today,” she said.
“After all, weddings are supposed to be all about new beginnings. And it wouldn’t be possible for me to begin this new phase of my life without all of my friends and family by my side. Thank you all for coming.”
She lifted her glass. Somewhere in the crowd, someone started tapping their knife against the edge of their glass, and the rest of the room followed suit. Tara laughed and leaned over to kiss Max in response.
She straightened up again. “Extra special thanks are due to my best friend in the world, Harper.” She held out a hand in Harper’s direction.
“This has been the most beautiful day, Harper. Thank you so much for all the work you put into it. And I can’t wait for us to begin new phases of our lives side by side.
When I think of you announcing your pregnancy on the same day I got married…
well, that’s a story we’re going to be telling for the rest of our lives. ”
The room went quiet.
For a moment, Theo didn’t understand why. He had only been half-listening to the speech. But then he looked at Harper and saw that her face had drained of color. Confused, he replayed Tara’s last words in his mind.
Then he heard it.
Pregnancy.
Tara had said that Harper was pregnant. That was what that meant. And suddenly, all the pieces fell into place.
This was why Harper had been so distant lately. This was why she was treating him so awkwardly today. This explained everything.
Anger blazed through him.
Why hadn’t she told him this? What was she thinking?
No matter what her plans were, no matter what was on her mind, he had a right to know.
He should have been the first to know. He shouldn’t be finding this out in a drunken wedding speech made in front of dozens of people.
How could she have done this? How was he supposed to process this information under the circumstances?
Harper looked as if she wanted the floor to swallow her up. Her arms were wrapped around her torso, her gaze fixed firmly on her feet. Even now, there was a part of Theo that wanted to take her in his arms and shield her from this moment.
But the part of him that was angry with her was much stronger and much louder. It was all he could do to keep from yelling at her and making this that much worse.
He had to get away.
He turned and ran from the room before the ugly words that were at the back of his mouth could fight their way forward. He didn’t want to tell her what he was thinking right now, and he didn’t want to speak to anybody else.
It wasn’t until he had burst through the door and out into the fairy-light-strewn courtyard that he slowed down and allowed his thoughts to catch up with him.
What did this mean? If she really was pregnant — and based on her reaction, he was sure that it was true — what did it mean for them? What did it mean for him?
He was the father. He was sure of that. Of course, it was possible that that wasn’t true, and he couldn’t have explained why he felt so certain. Maybe he was being foolish, but he didn’t think so. There was something about the energy between the two of them that just made him feel confident.
But if that were the case, what did she want him to do? He had money. He was willing to help her out in any way she wanted. But did she want more than that? And if she did, why on earth wouldn’t she have asked him?
If she did ask him, what would he say? He had choices in this too, didn’t he?
He sank down onto a bench and buried his head in his hands.
“What are you doing out here?”
He looked up and saw his brother standing above him with his arms folded. Max glowered down at him. Theo was impressed. He had never seen his brother look like this before. Usually, when he looked at Max, he was reminded of the child Max had once been. But today, Max looked like a man.
“Is it true?” Max folded his arms across his chest.
“Your guess is as good as mine,” Theo said. “First I’m hearing of it, if it is.”
“And this is how you respond? Running out here and leaving her alone in that room with all those people?”
Theo looked up at his brother. “Even if it is true, what does it have to do with me?”
“Give me a break,” Max said. “Other people might not see through you, Theo, but I do. I’ve known you all my life.
I know all your tells. I saw the way you looked when Tara said the word ‘pregnant’.
I know you and Harper have been spending time together leading up to the wedding.
And I’ve seen how awkward you’ve looked around each other all day. You slept with her.”
Theo looked down. He couldn’t deny it, of course. He also couldn’t bring himself to face his brother.
“You can’t just walk out on her,” Max said. “You can’t do to her what our father did to our mother.”
Theo felt as if someone had set his insides on fire. His head jerked up. “This is nothing like that.”
“Get back in there and talk to her,” Max insisted. “Harper deserves that from you. And you owe it to yourself as well. If you’re going to be a father, that isn’t something you can hide from. You’ve got to get in there and confront it head-on. It’s the only way forward.”