Chapter 3 Seeing the Embrace
The snow grew heavier. I looked at Lu Huaichuan's lit window.
I decided to call him again.
Before I could dial, I saw Lu Huaichuan.
He wore home clothes and came downstairs to pick someone up.
I stood up involuntarily.
But I saw a girl in a black down jacket run toward him.
Lu Huaichuan cupped the girl's hands in his and rubbed them. Then he embraced her and took her upstairs.
Snow covered my shoulders. With trembling hands, I took out a cigarette and lit it.
As the nicotine passed through my throat, I suddenly remembered.
Three years ago, in that winter, Lu Huaichuan had embraced me like that.
That year, my grandma had passed away.
My parents divorced and each had new families. I was raised by grandma since I was little.
On the day of grandma's burial, my parents and uncles all sighed in relief.
Because they had one less burden from then on.
Only I stood in the heavy snow at grandma's grave.
The feast was lively. The suona blared noisily.
The world felt so crowded, yet I sensed the vast emptiness, with nowhere to belong.
I didn't know how long I stood there until a warm embrace shielded me from the wind and snow.
Lu Huaichuan's voice sounded in my ear.
He said, "You still have me."
The tears I held back finally broke down at those words.
Back then, I thought a young man's embrace was burning sincerity.
Now I understood that in this story, only I took it seriously.