Chapter 15
fifteen
Alecia
Hey. Theoretically. What would you do if you were stuck at a work dinner and forgot how to be normal?
Calder
Define normal
You know. Professional. Charming. The kind of person who doesn’t make underwear jokes in front of clients
Sounds like the best part of the dinner
Not according to Garrett
Garrett’s there?
He is, in fact
What else did he say about me?
Typical Frederick. Only concerned about himself. I’m in a crisis here, remember?
Right. Send the debrief later
I would say normal is overrated
The data I’ve collected doesn’t skew that direction
What kind of data?
Dating data
Don’t pretend you have numbers. Just say it’s how you feel
That’s the most compelling data
Calder
So because you’re single, you think there’s something wrong with you
Alecia
That is the very conclusion. Yes.
And this work dinner . . .
Garrett asked me to come
So it’s a date
Kind of
And if you’re normal he’ll what? Ask you on another one?
That’s the hope
Where are you?
Why does that matter?
I’m imagining you ignoring Garrett at the table. Which I love, by the way
Bathroom. Surprised you’re not here.
Wow
It’s kind of our thing
Done with another ice pack? I could throw it away for you
OMG
FOCUS
Right. You want to go on another date with Garrett so you can hide in the bathroom
The ambiance is unreal. Tampon dispenser 10/10
Can’t wait to see the wedding invitations. Garrett and the shell of Alecia invite you to share their special day
Stop! I can’t breathe!
How do you recommend this works? I annoy you, too
You make me uncomfortable.
And that’s different how?
Very different
Opposite actually
Does annoyed have an opposite?
Calder
I don’t think I’ve met anyone like you
Alecia
Ugh. See? That’s the problem though. People like what they’re used to
They like safe bets. No risk, no reward
That’s a nice thing to say, Frederick
Not a nice guy, remember, Mabel?
You said you never lie
If it were me, I’d suffer through dinner. Then head over to Smash Point after to blow off some steam
Might not be home until past nine. Is it open that late?
For you it is