Chapter 16
sixteen
I sit in my car for a full minute staring at the neon Smash Point Social sign while my stomach does a small trapeze act.
I debated staying home after Barolo. Spending another hour at the table post text conversation with Calder used every mental muscle I had to act the way Garrett wanted me to.
I was tempted to wipe off the makeup, hang up the dress, make chamomile tea, and chill.
But Calder’s text was still sitting on my phone. That won out.
Now, I get out of the car, grab my bag, and walk to the door, fully expecting it to be locked, but it swings open easily.
Inside, two courts are still going. A couple on court one locked in hand battles, and a young woman with someone who looks to be her coach.
I smile to myself. Nothing like a late-night drill sesh.
There’s nobody at the front desk to check in with, so I walk toward Calder, stretching on court two. He glances up as I step through the gate, and the way his eyes do that quick head-to-toe inventory makes my heart skip.
“Hey.” He straightens, and the look on his face is pure innocence. The scowl I’m so used to seeing there is softened, his lips slightly parted, his long lashes shadowing his cheeks. It’s disarming as hell.
“Hey.” I lift a hand. I swapped the Barolo dress for leggings and an oversized crewneck over a tank top.
We both know why I’m here. At least, I think we do?
Calder has to know how flirty he was being.
But as he picks up his paddle and walks toward the net, my confidence wanes. Was he just being nice?
He pulls a ball from his pocket. “How’d the rest of dinner go?”
“I was the picture of professionalism.”
He huffs a breath. “Garrett was happy?”
“More than happy.” I get in position opposite him.
Calder pauses, about to hit the ball. “What does that mean?”
“I think he hoped our night would’ve been extended.
” Garrett drove me home and turned off the car before I told him I had plans to do a workout.
I’d thought about saying I was exhausted and needed to head to bed, but Calder’s stance on white lies got to me.
Why was I trying to make the truth easier to hear?
Garrett wasn’t going to like that I was turning him down either way, so I may as well be honest.
“Huh.” Calder sends the ball over the net.
“I just—” I hit it back. “I don’t get why dating has to be so hard. Why do we have to play this game with each other? Or maybe it’s just with myself.”
We dink back and forth, and my legs start to warm up. “Thank you, by the way.”
“For what?”
My hands start to tingle. “For your text messages.” Calder nods once, but when he doesn’t comment, I can’t leave it alone.
“I don’t know how I feel about everything, though.
Like, I’m not supposed to want or need to be with someone.
I’m supposed to be happy on my own, and I am, but not really, you know?
Life is more fun when you do it with other people.
I have friends, and don’t get me wrong, they’re amazing, but I want romantic love. Is that lame to admit?”
Calder’s brows are pinched again. “No. Not lame.” He moves back from the kitchen line, and I follow his lead, hitting deeper balls.
“But then it feels like I have to try because it’s not just happening.”
Calder hits a diabolical angle, and I barely get it back. “Nice,” he says, and warmth blooms in my chest.
“You’re right, though,” I continue. “I don’t want to be with someone who doesn’t like who I am. Or, I guess, only likes part of who I am. But is it possible for someone to love everything?”
“Hey! Do you two want to play a game?” the woman on the court next to us calls over. She’s probably in her mid-fifties, wearing a neon visor and bright pink shoes. I already love her.
Calder glances at me questioningly, and I nod.
We hop onto their court, and I’m instantly nervous.
Especially knowing that Calder used to be on the pro circuit.
I want to ask him about that. I want to know how he got so good—he must’ve played racquet sports growing up—and what it was like traveling around to tournaments.
I want to know every girl he ever dated, where he went to school, and what his family is like. I want to know everything about him.
“Nice glasses.” The woman’s husband steps up to the net. “I’m Pete.”
“Thanks.” I give Calder a sidelong glance. “I’m Alecia.”
“Julie.” The woman puts out her hand and I shake it. They both already know Calder. Everyone here knows Calder.
“You want to serve first?” Pete asks, nodding at the ball in Calder’s hand. “Oh wait, what ball are you using?”
I watch Calder’s face with a grin. He draws a very intentional breath. “Uh, not sure.” He flips the ball over. “Looks like Selkirk.”
“Mind if we use this? Just love our Vulcans.”
“Sure.” Calder tosses the ball back onto our court.
I take the ball from Pete and turn to the baseline. “That was very big of you.”
“Don’t.”
“I’m just saying, if I didn’t know you, I wouldn’t have been able to tell you wanted to punch him in the face.”
Calder fights back a smile.
I pause for dramatic effect. “I’m really proud.”
Calder puts his hands on his hips and gives me a look. I flash a cheesy smile and bounce the ball once before getting into serving position. “I’m sorry. Just putting that out there in advance.”
Calder frowns. “Why?”
“Because of what’s about to happen.”
“You’re better than you give yourself credit for.”
I scoff. “Well, I don’t play like you.”
“Good partners usually don’t.”
Out of nowhere, the night’s events tumble over me a second time.
Was that the problem? I want Garrett because he seems a little like me?
Maybe I’m thinking about things all wrong.
Maybe I need someone who doesn’t play like me.
Who makes me think differently about the world. Who makes me a little uncomfortable.
“Ready?” Calder watches me, and I snap out of it.
“Yep.” I serve, blessedly keeping the ball inside the lines.
After a few points, I decide Pete and Julie are the most fun people I’ve ever played with. They make good shots, but they laugh it off when they miss the ball. They tease each other and us, and don’t take any of it too seriously.
When Julie notices Calder taking it easy, she calls him out. “Kill me on the angle if I’m out of position, Calder! Don’t be nice!”
He laughs, and I’m instantly obsessed with the sound. With the smile lines on his face. I need to see that again. I need to see it every day.
My heart races for every reason except that I’m rushing around the court chasing a ball.
As usual, Sam knows me better than I know myself. I do, in fact, seem to have a major thing for Calder.
“You’re quiet,” Calder says after we tap paddles on round one.
“Am I?” I brush the comment off and jog to my water bottle on our court. I’m being weird. I know it, but I can’t do anything to stop it. Now that I’ve acknowledged it, everything Calder does is lighting me on fire.
We play another game and a half with them before the staff member up front lets us know his cleaning is all done and he needs to shut down. Smash Point technically closed over half an hour ago, based on the lettering on the door. I love that he let us all play for extra time.
The four of us chat as we grab our things, then walk to the parking lot together. I’m dying to talk with Calder alone, but can’t figure out how to make it happen.
The parking lot looks like a spill of ink with only four cars dotting the two halos created by the light. Julie and Pete wave goodbye and hop in their SUV.
Calder and I are parked on opposite sides.
I adjust the strap of my bag on my shoulder. “Well, thanks for this.”
“Glad you could come.” He looks like he’s about to say something else, but doesn’t.
Just as I’m about to make a joke about talking with him in the ladies’ restroom again sometime, I catch a small flicker of movement in the red glow of Julie and Pete’s taillights. A tiny brown lump—
“Stop!” I gasp, grabbing Calder’s hand and running into the lot. I wave my free hand until Pete sees me and brakes. He rolls down his window.
“Sorry! There’s just a rabbit!” I drop my bag and run behind the vehicle, sinking to my knees on the asphalt. “Calder, can you go to the front in case it bolts?”
Pete and Julie are already out of their seats. They each take a side of the SUV between the wheels. We have every exit covered.
I reach for the baby bunny. It jolts and turns, but when it doesn’t see an obvious path, it rushes next to the wheel and I’m able to scoop it up. “Got it!” It’s ears are slicked back, its little heart staccatto.
“Hi,” I whisper. “I’m not going to hurt you, okay?”
“You almost ran it over, Pete!” Julie brushes off her knees.
“Didn’t even see the thing.”
Julie sighs. “How could you? He was probably hiding under the car.”
“I bet the engine scared him out,” I say.
Calder motions to the field next to the parking lot, and I follow him over, leaving our bags on the pavement.
“Have a good night you two!” Julie calls, and Calder waves for both of us.
He walks up to the fence and finds a gap, lifting the chain link so I can push the bunny through. The little guy sits there for a moment, but as soon as Calder drops his hand, he takes off into the grass.
Calder bends the fence straight. It doesn’t fully meet the ground, but that’s not a problem we can solve tonight.
“We saved a bunny.” I straighten and am about to brush the hair that escaped my elastic out of my face when Calder catches my wrists.
“Don’t touch anything.”
“Wha—?”
“You just touched a wild animal. We need to wash your hands.”
“I have sanitizer in the car.”
He shakes his head. “No way. You need to wash with soap.”
I snort. “It’s fine, I only held him for two seconds.”
“Three minutes, and bacteria doesn’t hang out before it decides to transmit to your hands.”
He lets go of my arms carefully, watching to make sure I’m being obedient.
“I won’t touch anything. Promise. But where can I wash my hands? Smash Point is close—”
Calder takes off. He runs to the front of the building and knocks. The employee must still be in there because the door opens.
I jog over as fast as I can with my hands still outstretched, and when I arrive, Calder motions me inside.
“Doors are locked. When you leave you won’t be able to get back in,” the staff member instructs.
“Got it.” Calder walks with me through the entryway. The lights are all off except for two emergency lights.
I bump into something on my right and laugh. “I’m going to fall flat on my face.”
“This way.” Calder’s hand slips around my waist, and I shiver. “Sorry.”
“No, I like it. I mean, I like that you’re keeping me upright.” I would’ve face-palmed if I weren’t worried Calder would then make me take a full-body shower.
He leads me into the restroom and the motion lights flick on.
“Don’t touch the handle.” He walks past me and turns on the warm water, then waits for me to put my hands under the soap dispenser, and pushes the button.
I rub the soap between my palms.
He grimaces. “What are you doing?”
“Washing my hands.”
“You’re just rubbing raw soap around?”
I laugh. “Yeah. I want to get it evenly distributed.”
“You have to add some water first.”
“But then the water washes off all the soap.”
He looks away, horrified. Which of course only fuels my soap rubbing.
I move back into his line of sight, ignoring the rushing water in the sink. “I really love getting it in every nook and cranny, you know?”
“Gross.” He turns around.
“It’s like ASMR.” The soap crackles and pops as I work it through my fingers.
He growls and turns back, grabbing my arms. I squeal as he drags me to the sink, but I’m laughing too hard to put up a fight.
Calder shoves my hands under the water and threads his fingers with mine, lathering up the soap between us. “See? Water makes it work.”
“It’s a good thing I got it everywhere though because—”
He flips my hands and runs his thumbs over my palms, and my laughter dies. It’s replaced with liquid heat shooting up my arms and dropping directly into my lady parts.
Calder runs his hands over mine until he’s convinced the soap is gone, then turns off the water. He’s about to reach for a paper towel, but I plant my hands directly on his chest. He looks down, the corner of his mouth lifting, then places his wet hands on me.
I suck in a breath. He’s touching my boobs. He’s straight-up hands on my bra, and I’m so shocked, I burst out laughing.
Calder breaks, and we stand there, busting our guts, with our hands soaking each other’s shirts.
“Hey, Calder?” A voice filters through the door, and we jolt apart. “Are you—?”
The restroom door flies open. The employee we just left at the front takes us in. First our faces, then his eyes drop to the identical dark handprints on our shirts.
I purse my lips as his face shifts from surprise to confusion.
He clears his throat. “You were taking a while, so I wanted to make sure—”
“We’re good.” Calder says without a hint of amusement. “Just leaving.”
The employee nods. “Cool. Yeah.” He steps back so we can exit, and we take the walk of shame to the front with heads held high.
“Thank you!” I say, as we rush out into the night.
I start laughing again the second the door closes behind us. “Did you see his—?”
Calder throws an arm over my shoulder and clamps his hand over my mouth. “Shh. He’s right behind us.”
I grab his wrist and force his hand down so I can breathe. I can’t quite stop my laughter, but I do keep it quiet. Calder walks me to where Julie and Pete were parked so we can collect our bags.
He picks them both up and hands me mine.
“Thank you.” I grin at him, and his eyes sparkle under the street lamp. “Your eyes are pretty.”
“Thank you.” Calder’s face is still pulled into a smirk. We stand there a moment, studying each other, and then he says, “I think it’s delighted. Or enchanted.”
My face scrunches with confusion. “What?”
He wets his lips. “The opposite of annoyed.”
My heart stills in my chest. Goosebumps lift in a wave over my arms and neck.
Calder drops his head, then turns to his car. “Goodnight, Alecia.”
I watch him go, my feet planted in the asphalt. For the first time in my life, I’m stunned speechless.
When he’s halfway to his car, I finally convince my body to move. I turn and walk to my car in a daze. I’m so worried I’m going to forget this moment that I want to drive to a tattoo shop and get those two words permanently inscribed on my body.
And why are we walking away from each other right now? Why didn’t I grab him and kiss the hell out of his face? Missed opportunity and then some.
I throw my bag in the back seat of my car, then spin when I hear footsteps. I barely have time to process that it’s Calder before he’s pressing me up against the car, his body flush against mine, his hand tugging on my ponytail to tip my head back.
“If it’s okay, I changed my mind.”