14. Julius
— ? —
Julius
Ramona catches my sleeve before I step through the competitor entrance. I turn toward her while a hand takes our bags from the truck, and she reaches up and brushes hay off my shoulder.
“You look nervous.” She smooths the fabric beneath my jacket. “You aren’t even riding today.”
“I’ve got a building full of people who want to talk to me.” I put my hand over hers. “I was hoping you’d help me escape a few.”
“How’s the shoulder?” She presses her fingers against it through the jacket, testing.
“Cleared last week. You were there when they said it.” I let her push on it anyway. “It doesn’t even ache in the mornings now.”
“I’ll tell them you’re needed in the parking lot.” She gives my collar a final tug. “You’ll have to make it worth my trouble.”
“I brought you here in my clean truck.” I draw her closer, keeping us clear of the people moving through the doors. “That usually earns me a little affection.”
“You brought me in a truck somebody else cleaned.” She smiles as I bend toward her. “I’m withholding credit until you wash mine.”
I kiss her anyway. She catches my jacket and keeps me there long enough that a man approaching with a clipboard changes direction.
Ramona watches him leave before looking back at me.
“You’re welcome.” She slips her hand into mine and leads me inside.
The Wyatt name hangs above the tunnel entrance. I paid to fix the roof over this arena and replace the seats where rain used to come through. Now attendants wait beside a private elevator to take our guests upstairs.
While they greet the arriving guests, I keep looking at my wife. She wears my old rodeo jacket, with one hand tucked into its torn pocket. When she notices me watching, she takes my hand and puts it through her arm.
“We’re here to watch today.” She guides me around a stack of equipment cases. “You can relax.”
“I know.” I brush my thumb against her sleeve. “The later exhibition is the one I’m preparing for.”
She nods and stays close as an official approaches. He greets us both before holding out the clipboard.
“Your guests are upstairs, Mr. Wyatt.” He indicates the elevator. “The riders are warming up in the practice arena if you want to see them first.”
“We’ll go upstairs.” I check the page before signing beside our arrival information. “Thank you for getting everybody settled.”
Ramona waits until he walks away before pointing at a trash bin beside the wall.
“Did you need your name on that, too?” She looks up at me, trying not to laugh.
“I didn’t pick the bins.” I turn it slightly with my boot and find the silver mark facing the walkway. “Apparently, I should have paid more attention.”
“I’ve been suggesting that for a while.” She squeezes my hand before letting go. “I’m going to find the bathroom. Try not to approve a statue while I’m gone.”
“I’ll wait for your opinion on the pose.” I kiss her temple, then watch her move through the entrance toward the stairs.
A breeder I know stops beside me before she’s out of sight. I shake his hand and turn toward the elevator, still smiling.
***
The event director finds me near the doors of the guest lounge. He waits until I finish greeting a couple who brought their daughter to meet our horses, then asks me to step into the corridor.
“Isaac Thompson hurt his shoulder during practice.” He checks behind him before lowering his voice. “The medical team says he can’t ride.”
“Shit. Does he need to go to the hospital?” I set my water on a nearby table.
“They’re taking him to get it checked.” The director moves aside for a passing server. “He’s talking and walking, but he’s done for today.”
I take my phone from my pocket, then put it away when he continues.
“We have an empty place in the exhibition.” He holds my eyes. “Would you consider filling it?”
“I turned down this date.” I glance toward the lounge, where I expect Ramona to return. “I’m preparing for the later event. That hasn’t changed.”
“You’ve been training, and we’ve heard about your practice ride.” He shifts closer so he doesn’t have to raise his voice. “We can have somebody go over everything with you before you decide.”
“I’m here with my wife.” I step back, making him leave room between us. “I’m not making that decision in a hallway.”
“Of course.” He looks down at his folder before meeting my eyes again. “If you reconsider, find me before the exhibition starts. People would love to see you ride here.”
He heads toward the elevator while I stay beside the untouched water.
Through the lounge doors, I hear somebody asking whether I’m going to ride. Another person answers that it isn’t on the program.
I pick up my glass, but I don’t go back inside.
***
Dakota finds me beside the equipment area while I’m checking a saddle one of our hands has brought in. He goes to collect the rest of his gear, leaving me with the leather strap between my fingers.
“The director told me he asked you to fill Isaac’s place.” She stops on the other side of the saddle stand. “He said you turned him down.”
“I did.” I put the strap back where it belongs. “Ramona and I agreed on the later event.”
“She helped you decide to enter that one, didn’t she?” Dakota rests her notebook on the fence. “I thought she was comfortable with you riding now.”
“She knows what we’re preparing for.” I look directly at her. “That isn’t the same as finding out I’ve changed it when they announce my name.”
Dakota lowers her eyes briefly before looking toward the arena entrance.
“You’re right. You should talk to her.” She folds her arms against the fence. “I just hope you aren’t saying no because you’re worried about what people will think if you don’t ride well.”
My hand stays on the saddle after I’ve finished checking it.
“I know what I’m ready for.” I straighten and move clear of the stand.
“I watched you practice.” She keeps her voice quiet when a competitor passes us. “You looked ready to me.”
“I promised my wife no more surprises.” I take my hat from the rail and put it on.
“I’m not asking you to break a promise.” Dakota steps back as I move toward the passage. “I know you’ve worked hard for the later date. I also know you could spend all night wondering how you would have done today.”
I stop beside the doorway. She doesn’t follow me or try to touch my arm.
“You don’t need me to tell you you’re good.” She picks up her notebook. “I’d just hate to see you miss a chance you wanted.”
I look past her toward the arena floor. The crew is checking the gates while the announcer reads the names of the riders already confirmed.
Go find Ramona. You already know what you promised.
I leave Dakota beside the fence and head toward the stairs.
***
The director catches me before I reach them. He has a form in his hand, but he doesn’t offer it immediately.
“I need to close the list.” He stops beside the wall, leaving the passage clear. “Has your answer changed?”
I look toward the stairs. Ramona could be back in the lounge or finding our seats. I take out my phone, but before I open her messages, the director points toward the chute entrance.
“We have Grizzly ready if you want him.” He keeps the form against his folder. “You can see him before you decide. The men working with him are there now.”
I recognize the bull’s name from the recordings I’ve watched while preparing for the later exhibition. I’ve paused his rides to study his turns and watched the riders who stayed on.
“Who checked him today?” I put the phone against my leg while the director names the hand responsible.
He sees me look toward the entrance and holds out the form.
“You can speak to him yourself.” He waits while I take the page. “I need a yes or a no before we get you dressed.”
I read the first line. My name is already there, leaving an empty space for the signature.
Ramona expects me to find her upstairs and sit beside her while the other men ride. I could send her a message now. I could ask her to come down before I put my name on this.
“Where’s your pen?” I keep my eyes on the paper while he takes one from his pocket.
He shows me where to sign. My hand moves before I look toward the stairs again.
“Thank you, Mr. Wyatt.” He takes back the form and turns toward a waiting member of staff. “Please get his equipment. I’ll update the announcer.”
I open Ramona’s messages as we walk. The last one is a photograph she took of June leaning over the fence, with my shirt sleeve caught in her mouth.
I start typing beneath it.
Julius: Can you come down to the equipment area? I need to talk to you.
My thumb stays above the send button. She’ll ask why, and I’ll have to tell her I’ve already signed.
The staff member stops beside a bench and sets down my vest. I lock the phone without sending the message.
“I need a minute.” I keep the phone in my hand while he checks the size marked inside the vest.
“Take the time you need.” He puts it beside me. “I’ll tell them you’re here.”
He leaves me alone with my equipment. Nobody is keeping me from the stairs or the phone.
I sit on the bench and rub my thumb over the dark screen.
Tell her before this gets worse.
From the arena, I hear the announcer ask the crowd whether they’re ready for the exhibition. People cheer, and I look toward the doorway.
I put the phone into my pocket and reach for the vest.
***
A hand helps me fasten the shoulder straps while I check my glove. Through the opening at the end of the passage, I can see people taking their seats.
“Does your wife know where to find you?” He straightens the back of the vest. “We can bring her down.”
“She’ll be in our section.” I look toward the opening without answering the rest of his question.
“I can send somebody.” He waits while I pull the glove into place.
“They’re about to start.” I reach for my hat, then remember I need the helmet beside it. “I’ll see her afterward.”
He steps back, and I put on the helmet without looking at him.
Afterward is what you keep saying.
I stand beside the chute while they explain what Grizzly has done during his recent rides. I ask questions I know how to ask and check the rope twice. My fingers work without shaking until I reach toward my pocket for the old buckle, and I feel only the lining beneath my hand.
I gave the buckle back to Ramona after practice so she could bring it to the exhibition we agreed on. I don’t know whether she has it today, and I haven’t spoken to her to ask.
The announcer begins introducing the exhibition as I climb onto the rail. I look toward the Wyatt seats, trying to find the old jacket among the people standing in the aisle.
“There’s been a change to today’s program.” The announcer lowers his card and turns toward the chute, his voice carrying through the speakers. “We have a rider returning to public competition who needs very little introduction in this building.”
I find Ramona near the aisle. A man beside her is pointing toward the arena, but she keeps looking toward the entrance behind their seats.
I watch her check it again before I lower myself onto Grizzly and concentrate on getting my hand settled. The gate remains closed while the announcer lifts the microphone.
“Please welcome Julius Wyatt back to the arena.” He extends his arm toward us as people begin getting to their feet.
Ramona turns toward the chutes. I can see her hand close around the seat in front of her, but people rise between us before I can see more.
The screen above the opposite stands shows me sitting on the bull. Then it changes to a close view of our guest section.
Ramona is still standing with her hand on the seat. The man beside her speaks near her ear, but she doesn’t turn toward him. She looks directly at the chute while her other hand searches the torn pocket of my jacket.
She pulls it out empty and grips the seat with both hands.
The handler leans close enough that I can hear him over the crowd.
“Are you ready to go?” He waits with his hand clear of the latch.
I look up at the screen again. Ramona moves her mouth, and I recognize my name even though I can’t hear it.
There is still time to shake my head. They could let me climb out. People would complain, and I would have to explain why I signed a form before speaking to my wife.
I nod to the handler, keeping my eyes on his hand as he reaches for the latch. Grizzly shifts beneath me, and I tighten my grip as the gate opens.
She came here expecting to sit beside her husband. I made her watch him break his promise instead.