Chapter 13 Lindsey
LINDSEY
I buried my sister yesterday.
It was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do, but I did it.
The Davenports came, but they were not able to get anywhere near Eli and me.
I’m not sure how Miller did it, but he made it possible for Eli and me to grieve without worrying about anything else.
He stood next to us, essentially holding us the whole time.
A lot of people were there, and Miller’s whole family showed up and surrounded us.
The first thing I thought of was that I wished Tammy was there to see it.
We’ve always wanted a big family and to feel that sense of belonging.
She would be happy to know that Eli is surrounded by love.
And even though I know this is all temporary and can end at any time, I’m so glad Eli is able to be a part of it now when he needs it most.
After the funeral, we went back to Miller’s house, and I couldn’t believe how many people came to pay their respects.
Violet brought three of her Blaze apple cinnamon cakes, and the Blaze brothers arrived with their families, honoring Tammy for teaching their kids.
Despite the crowd, everything was well managed.
Miller had security in place, making sure only approved guests were allowed in.
People ate and talked about Tammy, and it was amazing hearing all the stories that were told. It made Eli and me both feel better knowing how much she was loved.
I feel a hand at my waist. “You okay?”
I turn and look up at Miller. He’s been so patient and caring with me. He’s constantly asking Eli and me if we need anything. I’ve tried to talk to him about the Davenports, but all he says is that I don’t need to worry about it; he’s got it handled.
But instead of saying any of that, I ask him a question that’s been worrying me. “Do you think it’s too soon for Eli to go to baseball?”
He leans against the counter, and without even thinking about it, I lean into him. It’s only been two days since we moved in here, and already there is a comfort between Miller and me. He brings one hand up to the side of my neck. “What does Eli want to do?”
“He wants to play.”
He nods. “Yeah, sometimes we as adults worry about what other people are going to think or overanalyze things. I think if he wants to play, he probably needs to be with his friends or whatever. But you know him best. I’m sure whatever you decide will be the right thing.”
That brings a smile to my face. “You are good to me, Miller.”
His finger strokes back and forth on my neck.
His touch ignites a reaction in me that has my body tingling.
I reach up and cover his hand. “I think it’s me.
Tammy was with me at all the practices and the games.
I’m just nervous, I guess. But you’re right.
It will be good for Eli to be with his friends. ”
I’m looking up into Miller’s eyes, and the attraction is real.
All I have to do is go up on my tiptoes, and I could kiss him.
I still think about that first kiss and how it made me feel.
But before I can succumb to it, I hear running on the stairs and then a jump onto the landing. “Are you ready?” Eli shouts.
I turn in Miller’s arms and look at my nephew with his baseball uniform on and his bag on his back. There goes the question on whether he should go or not. We’re definitely going.
Reluctantly, I look up at Miller. “Well, I guess we’ll see you later.”
I don’t want to leave him. There’s a comfort I feel when I’m with him, and I don’t want to leave the safety of his home or his arms.
He hugs me against him and then lets go. “What do you mean you’ll see me later? I’m going with you.”
Eli doesn’t seem surprised by the announcement, but I am. “You’re going to the game?”
He gives me a look like I’m crazy. “Of course I am.”
Speechless, I grab the bag of snacks and drinks off the counter, and before I can throw it over my shoulder, Miller takes it to carry outside.
Miller drives us across town to the ball field, and as soon as we park, Eli gets out and runs to where all his teammates are gathered.
Miller holds his hand out, and I reach for him. I’m not sure if he’s putting on a show or what it is, but I’m glad to have him at my side.
We get to the stands, and I’m taken aback when I see all of his family, excluding Penn and Guy, taking up a whole section.
I can feel the tears start to burn, but I hold them back.
They all stand up, ushering Miller and me in, and when we sit, I find that they’ve placed us in the middle of all of them.
I turn to the girls. “Thank you for coming.” I suck in an emotional breath. I don’t even know how to explain what it means to me. “You don’t… I just…”
Skyler squeezes my free hand. “You’re family, Lindsey. We got you.”
And then there’s no holding it back. The tears start to come, and I can’t contain them. Miller holds me to him, soothing my hair. “It’s okay, honey, let it out.”
I suck in a breath, knowing I need to pull myself together. I need to be strong for Eli. Miller wipes away my tears, and I focus on the ball field as they get started. That’s when I see Guy standing beside Eli on first base. “Is that Guy?”
Miller chuckles. “Yep, I knew it would happen. There’s no way he can go to a baseball field and not be involved in some way.”
I look at Eli, who is concentrating on everything Guy is telling him, and when the game starts, Guy moves to the dugout and coaches from the side.
The game goes on, and it’s fun to watch. I’m good until I see Eli tense. Even from across the field, I can see his whole demeanor change. And that’s when I spot them. The Davenports. They’re leaning up against the fence, closest to first base where Eli is playing.
I’m on my feet before I can think twice.
I’m down the bleachers and running through the spectators to get to where the Davenports are standing. I’m almost there when I see Mike, Miller’s driver, shooing them away. They’re glaring daggers at him, and I stop next to the fence. Eli and I exchange a look, and he’s scared but gives me a nod.
It’s not until I’m leaning against the fence that I realize Miller and his brothers are all over here with me.
I let out a breath of relief. It’s a good feeling that I don’t have to do this alone.
Miller puts a hand on the fence on each side of me.
His body heats up my back, and I lean into him.
“It’s okay, honey. I had Mike stationed on this side of the field. ”
“Thank you, Miller.”
Guy stops next to us, and I smile at him. “Thanks for being here. You made Eli’s night.”
Guy just shrugs, and that’s when I remember. “Wait. Didn’t you have a game tonight?”
He blushes. “Yeah, but I told my manager that my family needed me.”
When I realize he’s talking about Eli, I’m shocked. “Wow… Guy… that’s incredibly nice of you.”
His voice drops. “Contrary to popular belief, I’m not just some dumb jock. I have priorities, and family comes first.” He ends it with a smile.
Miller still has me caged in, and when I try to get out, he doesn’t let me go. I look up at him. “I just wanna hug your brother.”
He scowls. “Make it fast.”
I laugh and pat him on the chest before giving Guy a small hug. “Really. This means so much to Eli—and to me—that all of you are here.”
Guy squeezes my shoulder. “That’s what family does.”
Miller brings me back into his arms, and I look down the first base line and see Ozzy is staring at the field. “Is he okay?” I ask Miller.
He brings me back into his arms. “Yes. No. He will be. His wife died a few years ago, and he still struggles with it all. He’ll show up any time we need him, but he’ll never let us be there for him.”
We’re both quiet for a minute, and then Miller whispers, “Why don’t you go back and sit down on the bleachers. My brothers and I will stay here.”
He brushes a hair off my face and promises me, “I won’t let him out of my sight.”
I nod, and he looks at Mike. “Hey, Mike. Can you walk Lindsey back over to the stands?” He lowers his voice. “And hang out over there with them. We got Eli.”
Mike nods and gestures for me to go with him. I turn to Miller. There are parts of me that wants to hug him, hell, even kiss him, but I don’t do either. I awkwardly tell him, “I’ll see you after the game.”
He smiles. “You sure will, honey.”
I walk back toward the stands and feel all eyes on me.
I know everyone is wondering what’s going on.
A few people stop us on the way back, expressing their condolences about Tammy.
Some of them just give me reassuring smiles.
“Thanks, Mike,” I tell him for walking me to the bleachers. “You coming up?”
He shakes his head. “No, but I’ll be standing right here if you need me.”
I climb the stands, and Zach kisses Skyler and then stands up. “I’m going to go talk to Mike.”
The girls make room for me to sit between them, and Skyler squeezes my hand. “I know it doesn’t feel like it, but it’s going to be okay.”
I nod because what else can I do?
Bree leans toward me. “I’ve been meaning to tell you. Logan should probably be the one apologizing, but I’m sorry too… for what happened at the fundraiser.”
I shake my head in confusion, and then I remember that she’s talking about the night after Miller and I had our first date. That feels like eons ago. “Oh…” is all I can mutter before she continues.
“Trust me, I let Logan have it when I found out he had two dates. It ended up working out, but I know that wasn’t fun for you at all.”
Curious, I ask, “So how exactly did he have two dates?”
“We hadn’t told the family we were back together, and his brother Penn—have you met him yet? Well, he fixed him up with another woman. Luckily, Miller helped out, but I know he didn’t want to and has regretted it ever since.”
I have to ask. “And you were kidnapped that night? Is that right?”
A look crosses Bree’s face, and I instantly regret asking.
I hold my hands up. “I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have asked, but when Miller told me the story, I thought…
” I let my voice trail off and then tell them, “Well, I thought, I dunno, I honestly had hoped he would have come to see me that night and explain, but I didn’t see him until the next day.
I convinced myself that he spent the night with his date and … ”
Bree wraps her hand around mine and squeezes. “He didn’t. Logan and his brothers were all saving me.”
I gasp. I knew it. At least a part of me believed him, but another bigger part of me was scared to face the truth. “All this time… I thought… I didn’t answer his calls… I…”
My voice trails off, and I’m watching Miller across the field. He’s talking on his phone, and Guy and Ozzy are standing beside him. I need to apologize.
I look over at Bree. “Thank you for telling me.”
Aria is smiling at me. “Aria, I haven’t met your husband, Penn, yet. Is he at the hospital?”
Something flashes on her face. “Uh, yeah, he said he was going to try to be here, but it looks like he’s going to miss it.”
The way she looks away tells me she doesn’t want to talk about it.
I look at my new friends. “Thank you for coming tonight.” I swallow, thinking about my sister.
“I wasn’t looking forward to sitting here by myself, so I appreciate you all showing up.
” I suck in a ragged breath. “Tammy would have liked you all.”
Skyler holds one hand, Bree the other, and Aria smiles at me. “I’m sure we would have liked her too.”
My gaze travels across the field and finds Miller, phone back in his pocket, staring at me. I lift my head at him because even from here, I know he’s asking me if I’m okay.
For the first time, I’m beginning to think I may just survive this.