Chapter 14 Miller
MILLER
Lindsey is overseeing Eli’s bath, and I’m fixing a quick snack for us to eat. I’m humming to myself, feeling a contentment that I haven’t felt in a long time. I love having Lindsey and Eli with me.
There’s a knock at the door, and when I look at the clock, I realize that she’s early. I should have talked to Lindsey about all this, but we haven’t been alone since we got home from the ball field.
I walk to the front door, and after checking the camera, I open it. “Mrs. Cantrell, thank you for coming.”
She walks briskly into the house, briefcase in her hand. “You’re welcome.”
I point upstairs. “Uh, Lindsey is helping Eli and—”
Before I can finish, Lindsey and Eli come into the living room. Lindsey stops short, her hands settling on Eli’s shoulders as her eyes move between me and Mrs. Cantrell.
It’s obvious that she’s wondering who the woman is. Even after everything, she’s still scared and unsure who to trust.
Instantly I cross the room and pull her against me and put a hand on Eli’s shoulder. “Lindsey, this is Mrs. Cantrell. She is Eli’s guardian ad litem.”
Lindsey tenses as Eli asks, “What’s that?”
I squat down so I’m eye level with him. “Mrs. Cantrell was appointed by a judge to look out for you.”
He grabs me. “But I don’t want to leave here.”
I hold him to me. “Eli, you’re not going anywhere. Mrs. Cantrell is here to find out what you want and what’s in your best interest.”
He looks confused, and I try to explain. “She’s going to talk to you, talk to your aunt, talk to me and”—I look at Mrs. Cantrell—“your doctor, your teacher, maybe even your coach. She’s going to tell the judge what she thinks is best for you.”
Eli sucks in a breath and takes my words to heart. He steps toward Mrs. Cantrell. “I want to stay here with Lindsey and Miller.”
Mrs. Cantrell sets her briefcase down. “That’s good to know, Eli. Do you think you and I can sit here on the couch and talk for a minute? Your Aunt Lindsey and Miller will be standing right there in the kitchen.”
He looks at Lindsey and me, and I give him a nod. Lindsey is frozen next to me, and I’m worried she’s about to freak out, so I grab her hand in mine to reassure her.
Eli nods. “Yeah, that would be okay with me.”
Eli walks over to the couch and jumps up to sit down. Mrs. Cantrell smiles at us and then goes to sit next to Eli.
I pull Lindsey into the kitchen and stop at the entrance so we can still see Eli. “I’m so sorry, Lindsey. I shouldn’t have sprung this on you.”
She grits her teeth. “No, you shouldn’t have.”
“I’m sorry. I called a judge I know during Eli’s game, and I thought we would have time to talk about it before the guardian ad litem showed up.”
Her eyes widen. “What did the judge say?”
I run a hand through my hair. “He issued a temporary restraining order against the Davenports. He appointed a guardian ad litem and wants a report on his desk in three days.”
Her mouth drops. “He issued a restraining order? Against the Davenports?”
I nod. “Yeah, I told him about the scene at the ball field. I had to do something.”
Without any warning, she throws her arms around me. I hold her to me, pulling her flush against my body. She leans her head back and looks up at me. “Thank you, Miller. Thank you so much.”
She goes to her tiptoes and kisses me. It’s probably meant to be a thank you, but it quickly morphs into something else.
Her hand curls into my shirt, and when I kiss her back, it’s slower this time… deliberate.
I pull back before it gets to be too much or before I can’t stop.
I search her eyes, looking for any sign of regret, but I don’t see any.
We hold each other and look into the living room. From where we’re standing, we can hear them talking.
“Eli, do you feel safe?”
My stomach drops when he shrugs his shoulders. It’s like a punch to the gut. I thought I’d made him feel safe here but not safe enough obviously.
“So you don’t feel safe here?” Mrs. Cantrell implores.
Eli looks down at his hands. “I don’t want my grandfather and grandmother to take me from Miller and Lindsey.”
She leans toward him. “Is that why you don’t feel safe?”
He nods.
“Why do you want to stay with your Aunt Lindsey and Miller?”
He doesn’t even hesitate. “Because I love them.”
My heart expands in my chest. He said them. He loves me too.
They keep talking, but it’s all a blur. When she’s done with Eli, she then speaks with Lindsey and me separately. I fix Eli a sandwich while she and Lindsey talk, and then she asks to see the house.
Eli is excited to show it to her, explaining the rooms.
When we get to the top of the stairs, he points at the doors. “That’s my room. That’s Lindsey’s room. That’s Miller’s room. His room is downstairs, but he stays up here so I’ll feel safer.”
Lindsey and I both shift uncomfortably. That… might be a problem.
This can’t be good. No one is going to believe we’re in a relationship and sleeping in separate rooms.
When I walk Mrs. Cantrell to the front door, she stops before walking out. “I know the Davenports.”
My stomach drops. Is she telling me she’s been bought and is on their side? I’m about to ask when she continues. “I wouldn’t trust them with my dog, let alone a child.”
Relief hits fast and hard.
She looks at me. “I still have some interviews to do, but I’ll be recommending that Eli is better off with you and Lindsey.” She holds her hand up. “However… no one is going to believe this relationship if you’re sleeping in separate rooms.”
I nod slowly. “I’ll fix that.”
I wave goodbye to Mrs. Cantrell and shut the door behind her.
Lindsey comes up to me.
“Well?”
I turn. “Where’s Eli?”
She points upstairs. “He’s brushing his teeth.”
I grab her hand. “She said she’s going to recommend Eli stay with us here.”
Her hands go to her mouth, and she’s so happy I feel almost guilty continuing. “But there is something else.”
She puts a hand to her chest. “What is it?”
I look at her, trying to figure out how to say it when she asks. “Oh God, is it the sleeping situation?”
I nod. “Lindsey…”
She tenses.
I point to the front door. “Honey, she said flat-out no one is going to believe us if we’re sleeping in separate rooms.”
She pops her shoulders. “So what? We just sleep together—” She gasps. “Not sleep together, but you know what I mean—we sleep in the same room now?”
I rub the back of my neck. “We don’t have to make this weird.”
She looks down at the ground and sways back and forth before lifting her head to look at me. “What do you think?”
I have wanted her in my bed since the first day I met her, but I don’t think she wants to hear that. I promised myself that I wouldn’t add any pressure to her, and I won’t. “I think it’s important that we sleep in the same room together. We would never want to ask Eli to lie and—”
She cuts me off. “So what? We lie to him? That doesn’t seem right either.” She blows out a breath. “Miller, do you realize how deep you’re getting into this?”
I put my hands on her shoulders. “I’m all in, Lindsey.”
She lifts her chin. “For how long?”
I slide my hands from her shoulders to her neck. Forever, that’s how fuckin’ long. But that’s not what I say. “For however long you need me.”
She nods. “Okay.”
“Okay?” I ask.
She holds her hand out, and I immediately take it. “Let’s tuck Eli in.”