Chapter 15 Lindsey
LINDSEY
Three stories later, Eli is still fighting sleep.
I brush the hair from his face. “If you want to stay home another day, you can, Eli.”
He seems to think about it. “No, Mom wouldn’t want me to miss a bunch of school. Plus, I want to see my friends, and this week I get to take care of Finn.”
“Finn?” Miller asks.
Eli smiles. “Our fish at school.”
“Cool,” Miller answers.
I pull the covers over Eli. “Okay, well, you need to get some sleep then.”
As nonchalantly as I can, I tell Eli, “I’m going to be in Miller’s room if you need me, okay?”
He looks alarmed. “Downstairs?”
Miller shakes his head. “No, buddy, we’ll be right across the hall. Your aunt just didn’t want you looking for her in the other room.”
He looks between us, and I try not to fidget. He narrows his eyes at Miller. “Sometimes if I have a nightmare, Aunt Lindsey lets me sleep with her…”
His voice trails off, and Miller doesn’t even hesitate. “Well, if you get scared or wake up in the middle of the night, you can still come and get in bed with your aunt and I’ll be there too… Is that okay?”
He nods and lies back on the pillow, burrowing under the covers. “Night, Lindsey, love you. Night, Miller, love you.”
I lean down and kiss his forehead. “I love you, too.”
Miller walks to the head of the bed. His voice is deep and husky. “Love you, Eli.”
I grab his hand and walk with him out of the room, shutting the door behind us. “You okay?” I ask him.
He looks at me with wonder. “Yeah, I mean, I’m good.”
I give him a knowing smile. “I know exactly what you’re feeling. When he says he loves you, it makes you feel like you can do anything.”
Speechless, he just nods.
I point to the bedroom I’ve been staying in. “I’m going to shower and get ready for bed. I’ll uh, meet you in your room.”
He nods, and I release his hand and walk away.
I go through the motions of showering and getting ready for bed, but I can’t get my head to calm down.
I’m thinking about Eli and if I’m doing the right thing by sending him back to school tomorrow.
I’m wondering if I messed up bringing him here because both Eli and I are going to have our hearts broken when we leave.
I can’t just worry about myself now. I have to worry about Eli and his future too, but I just need one night.
One night where I can forget everything and do what I want.
I step into Miller’s room and freeze.
He’s just come out of the bathroom, a towel slung around his neck, running it through his damp hair. He’s wearing nothing but boxer briefs. My eyes catch, and I can’t look away. Tattoos cover his skin, winding over his shoulders and down his arms, every line drawing attention to the muscle beneath.
I shouldn’t be staring.
But I am.
I stumble over the words, forcing my eyes off him and to the big bed. “Uh, where do you want me?”
He looks at me, his gaze dripping with desire. He juts his chin. “You really want to know?”
I nod, blinking.
He tosses the towel into a hamper in the corner and then stalks toward me. “I haven’t hidden the fact that I want you, Lindsey, and it’s going to be hell lying beside you and not being able to touch you.”
Oh God, this is it. Can I? Should I? Do I? “Who says you can’t touch me?”
He jerks back, his eyes wide. “What did you just say?”
I cross my arms over my chest and tilt my head. “You touch me all the time when other people are around, but not at all when it’s just us. I thought you’d changed your mind.”
He steps toward me and doesn’t stop until he’s right in front of me.
I drop my hands to my sides, and his hands go to my waist. He tugs me toward him, and instantly I feel his hard manhood pressed to my belly.
“I didn’t trust myself when it’s just the two of us.
I was giving you time. I didn’t want to pressure you. I wasn’t sure what you wanted.”
I lift my arms, go on my tiptoes, and wrap my arms around his neck. “I want this. I want to feel alive.”
He kisses me, and it’s hot. He tilts my head and slides his tongue along mine. When his tongue brushes mine, slowly at first, it sends heat straight through me. I can feel how little control he has left. Like he doesn’t want to stop.
I pull back and search his eyes. “Where do you want me?” I ask again.
He grunts. “Under me. Over me. Let me inside you. All of the above.”
I laugh softly. “I mean on the bed. Which side do you want?”
He lifts me up in his arms and carries me to the bed. “Whichever side you’re on is the side I want.”
He lays me back in the middle of the bed, and I wrap my legs around him, holding him there. One arm loops around his neck while my other hand drifts along his jaw. “I’m sorry.”
He stills, pulling back just enough to look at me. “What are you sorry for?”
“For canceling our second date… for ignoring your calls… for avoiding you for months.”
He blinks, then plants his hands on either side of my head. “I didn’t cheat on you.”
I press my palm lightly to his chest. “First of all, it wouldn’t have been cheating. We’d been on one date.”
He catches my wrist before I can pull away. “It would have been cheating,” he says quietly. “Because I already knew I wanted more with you.” His jaw tightens. “I’m the one who should be apologizing. I shouldn’t have agreed to help Logan, but I’ve always shown up for my family, so—”
“Stop.” I shake my head. “Bree explained it to me. I just… I thought…” My voice falters. “It doesn’t matter what I thought.”
“Yes, it does.” His gaze sharpens on mine. “It matters to me. What did you think?”
I hesitate, then let out a breath. “I thought you were blowing me off. You had this whole story, two dates, your brother, his girlfriend getting kidnapped, and honestly? It sounded like an excuse.”
A corner of his mouth lifts, but there’s no humor in it. “Yeah. I know it did. It’s a lot.” He exhales. “But it was all true.”
“I know.” My fingers curl slightly against his chest. “I think part of me knew it even then.” I swallow. “But I was scared. Seeing you with her… it gutted me.” My voice softens. “And that was after one date.”
His expression shifts and softens. He’s looking into my eyes as if he’s searching for all the answers, and I know I need to be truthful with him.
“I knew,” I whisper, “that if I let myself have you… you could break my heart.”
He shakes his head. “Oh, honey, that’s not going to happen. I’m not going to break your heart.”
I lift my lower body, pressing against him. “Miller?”
He groans. “Yeah?”
“Make me forget everything but me and you right now. I need to feel alive. I need to feel…”
He sits back on his haunches and looks down at me. His hands go to the hem of my shirt, and he pulls it up. I lean forward, and he lifts it over my head and tosses it to the chair in the corner.
“Fuck,” he says, staring at my breasts.
My chest is heaving as if I’ve been running a mile.
His big hand engulfs me, kneading the fullness of my breast.
His thumb strokes across my pebbled nipple, and my body jerks.
He hums low. “Does that feel good?”
My eyes close, and I sink into the feeling.
As soon as I feel his mouth on me, my eyes jerk open, and I watch as he suckles one breast and then the other. A soft moan escapes, and he pops off my breast. “Fuck, you’re so beautiful, Lindsey.”
His hand trails down my body, under the band of my shorts and panties, and when his fingers touch my mound, I jump on contact. His finger slides through my folds, and I lift my hips, giving him better access.
He pumps a finger in and out of me, and I dig my nails into his arms.
His finger coated with my desire, he strokes my swollen clit.
I suck in a breath, and it’s on the tip of my tongue to beg him not to stop.
He doesn’t, though. He applies more pressure, circling my nub, faster and faster until there’s no holding back.
The orgasm hits me hard and fast, and I can’t hold back the sounds of satisfaction. His mouth covers mine instantly, swallowing it, the kiss deepening as I come down from the rush.
It was good, but it’s not enough. I need more.
I lift my bottom and pull my shorts and panties off in one pull. Dropping them to the side of the bed, I turn, pushing his back to the bed.
He goes easily, not fighting me at all.
I look down at his body, and I’m not sure where to start. I want to touch every part of him, and so that’s exactly what I do.
I start at his lips, and when I pull back, he objects. “Don’t stop,” he pleads.
I smile at him and kiss his neck. “Oh, I’m not stopping. I’m just getting started.”
I kiss his collarbone and his nipple, and his abdomen constricts when I kiss him there.
Every kiss brings me closer to him. I learn his body and how he likes to be touched.
When I get to the band of his shorts, I pull them down with his help.
I lean back and look at his fully engorged shaft, and only then do I start to have second thoughts.
I blow out a breath. “I guess it’s true what they say about the size of a man’s hands.” I lick my lips. “I’ve always liked your hands. They’re big and uh…”
He puts his hands behind his head and looks at me through hooded eyes. “Are you saying you like my cock, Lindsey?”
I trail a finger along his shaft from root to tip. “I’m saying you have a big cock, Miller, and I’m not sure what I’m supposed to do with all that.”
He chuckles. “You can do anything you want to with it.”
I lick my lips again. “Lick it. Suck it. Put it inside me?”
His hips jerk, and he clenches the bed sheets in his hands.
I don’t wait for his approval. I lean over him and put a gentle kiss on the tip of his manhood.
He lifts his hips. I know what he’s feeling. He wants more. He needs it.
I open my mouth, taking him in, letting him slide down my throat. I swallow, taking him as deep as I can, and then lift off him. Over and over, I bob up and down on his hard manhood. I feel him expanding, and I have to wrap my fist around his girth to stroke his entire length.
He moans and at the same time surprises me by lifting me up so I’m straddling him. With his hands on my waist, he holds me to him. I feel his cock seated against the crack of my butt. I lean back and look down at him. “Was I doing it wrong?”
He seems in awe looking at me. “No, you were doing it good. Maybe too good.”
I put my hands on his chest and lean forward. “Then why’d you stop?”
With his hands on my hips, he moves me back and forth. “Because I was about to come, and when I do, I want to be inside you.”
My eyebrows lift. “Inside me?” I ask.
He nods firmly.
I circle my finger around one of his nipples, tracing the black lines of his tattoo. “I’m on birth control.”
He huffs as if I’ve said the wrong thing or something, but he nods. “I’m safe.”
Oh my God, we're doing this. Really doing it. “Me too.”
I lift up and move back on his legs so his manhood is sticking straight up in front of me. He has cum leaking from the tip, and it’s thick and throbbing. I lift and align him at my center. Slowly, I lower myself on him.