Chapter 16
MILLER
I’m about to explode.
It’s like torture as Lindsey lowers her lush body on me. It’s taking everything inside me not to lift my hips and ram inside her. She feels so good. Tight. And I can feel her stretching to accommodate me.
She stops, and I remind her to breathe. My voice is strangled, but I try to sound calm. “Breathe, honey.”
She takes a deep breath and lets it slowly out.
I try to reassure her. “You good?”
She nods and slides further down, impaling herself on me with an umph.
Her head falls backwards, and she looks like a goddess sitting astride me. My hands dig into her hips, and when she starts to move, I almost lose it.
Her hips gyrate front to back, then side to side, and when she finds that spot that feels just right, she grinds herself into me. “Yes. Yes,” she mutters, trying to keep quiet.
I reach between us and press my thumb to her swollen clit. Two strokes and she’s coming undone.
I put a hand over her mouth as she starts to cry out with her release. She’s squeezing me so hard, I can’t hold back. I groan, sitting up and holding her to me as I fill her with my cum.
We’re both panting as we come down, and she wraps her arms around me with her face buried in my neck. We’re still connected, and I try to catch my breath.
When she tenses against me, I lean back and look into her eyes. “Lindsey.”
She blinks at me, and I can’t read her face. I lean my forehead against hers and breathe out. “Please don’t regret this.”
She leans into me. “I don’t. Do you?”
Shocked, I cup her face. “No fuckin’ way.”
She blushes, and before I can stop her, she lifts off my body and climbs from the bed. Instantly, I feel cold, bereft, alone.
She stands next to the bed, shuffling from one foot to the other. She puts a thumb over her shoulder, pointing at the bathroom. “Uh, I’ll be right back.”
I nod, watching her go, the door clicking softly behind her. The room feels different the second she’s gone. It all feels quieter, heavier. I drag a hand down my face, then clean myself up, pull on my shorts, and sit on the edge of the bed.
At first, I tell myself not to overthink it. People need a minute. Totally normal.
But the minutes stretch, and the longer she’s gone, the more I begin to unravel. My knee starts bouncing. My mind starts racing, replaying everything that happened. Every touch, every sound, every look on her face. Did I miss something? Did I push too far? Was she just… going along with it? “Shit.”
I stand and move toward the bathroom door, hesitating for half a second before knocking lightly. “Lindsey?”
Slowly, she opens the door, and the sight of her hits me like a punch straight to the gut. Her eyes are glassy, and tears are streaking down her cheeks. “Baby, I’m sorry. Did I hurt you? I shouldn’t have—”
She shakes her head and surprises me by slamming her body to mine. “No, please don’t apologize.”
Her skin is still warm, bare against mine, and for a split second, my body reacts on instinct before my brain catches up. Not now. Fuck, Miller, get yourself together.
“Hey, hey…” I murmur, sliding my hands under her thighs and lifting her. She clings to me, burying her face in my neck as I carry her over to the chair. I sit, settling her on my lap, then reach for the throw draped over the back and wrap it around her shoulders.
“Talk to me, baby.” I brush the hair from her face. “I hate seeing you like this.”
She’s wiping at her eyes, embarrassed, and I gently catch her hands. I use my thumbs and wipe her cheeks.
I wait for her to talk to me, but it’s killing me seeing her like this.
She laughs softly. “Oh my God, you have to think I’m crazy.”
I shake my head. “No. Not even a little.”
She takes a deep breath and tries to steady herself. “I’m sorry. I… I really did enjoy being with you.”
I let out a breath of relief. “Then why are you crying?” I ask gently.
“I just needed a moment to myself. I had a thought that I wanted to call my sister, and you know, it all just hit me. I’ll never be able to call her again.”
I pull her against my chest and stroke her back with my hand. “Oh, Lindsey, I’m so sorry, honey.”
She breaks then, and the tears turn into sobs, her body shaking against mine.
“I’ve got you,” I murmur, over and over, pressing my lips to her wet cheeks. “I’ve got you.”
The tears slow, and I give her a second to center herself.
She softens in my arms, tracing her finger against my chest. “You know, my sister thought I was crazy. She tried to talk me into calling you. She knew I wanted to, but as the time when on, I felt foolish, and I thought that—”
Her voice trails off, but I’m completely attuned to her and dying to know what she was going to say. “You thought what?”
She lifts her wet eyes and looks at me. “That you would break my heart in the end and I was better off if I just stayed away.”
I cup her face in my hands, forcing her to look at me. “I won’t break your heart.”
Her eyes search mine like she’s trying to decide if she can trust me or not. Then she wraps her arms around my neck, pulling me close, and her lips brush my skin as she whispers, “I’m going to hold you to that, Miller.”
“Good,” I murmur, tightening my hold on her.
We sit like this, tangled together. Each second that passes, the tension from her body slowly starts to drain away, and her breaths even out. Eventually, she starts to drift, and her hold on me loosens, letting me know she’s asleep.
I don’t move.
I just sit here breathing her in, memorizing the feel of her against me, in my arms.
Maybe I should have waited. Maybe she wasn’t ready for this yet. I should have let her heal more before I gave in to the way she tempts me.
I swallow hard.
There’s no going back now. I can’t change it, but I can make it to where she never regrets this.
My hand slowly moves up and down her back, careful not to wake her. I’ll be steady and patient. I’ll be whatever she needs me to be, but I can’t let her go.
I know why she’s here. She’s desperate to keep her nephew, and I can’t blame her for that. I haven’t known the kid long, but I already know I would burn the world down before I would let anything happen to him.
So, no, I don’t blame her for calling me or for using me. She had nowhere else to turn.
Before I let myself dwell in it, I remind myself that she’s here now, in my arms, trusting me. This has to mean something.
Slowly, I hold her to me and stand up. I walk to the bed and gently lay her down and pull the covers up to cover her.
I step into the bathroom and stare at myself in the mirror. The look of desperation on my face is new, but I get it. I can’t lose Lindsey, not now. I clean myself up and then tiptoe back into the bedroom.
As quietly as I can, I lie down on the bed, and even though I want to pull Lindsey against me, I resist. She needs to sleep.
I lie here, trying to fall asleep when she rustles next to me. I can feel her eyes on me, and I turn my head to look at her. The moonlight is streaming through the window, and I can see she’s looking at me. “Sleep,” I murmur.
She lifts her head. “Will you hold me?”
“Always,” I answer without hesitation.
I open my arms and pull her gently across the bed and settle her into my arms. She fits against me like she belongs there. Her body is bare and warm against me.
For a split second, my body reacts, but I force it down, fighting the temptation.
This isn’t about that.
She doesn’t need that from me, not right now.
My arms tighten around her, one hand sliding up to cradle her neck, the other resting firm against her back. “I’ve got you,” I murmur.
Her breath is already evening out, and I stay completely still, wanting her to know that she’s safe and protected in my arms.