Chapter 49
Rheadur
I moved my trip to Rheadur up, intending to surprise my wife. If I’m being honest, the moment I walked her to the plane that would take her to see her family, I knew that regardless of any fears I might have about the future, being away from Jazmina would never be an option.
We belong to each other, and although I still believe she deserves more, I won’t turn my back on the love of my life because of my past.
A few days ago, I had my first session with the therapist. The forty-five minutes were filled mostly with silence. I’m not much of a talker to begin with—now add to that the fact that my audience was a stranger and expected me to open up about my past.
Since the moment I realized that what that woman wanted from me wasn’t a mother–son relationship but something abnormal, I’ve accumulated resentment. Hatred, to be precise.
Toward her, above all. Toward my father, for failing to protect me as he should have. And even toward the mother I barely knew.
After they died, I blamed myself. Not for Iona. I liked seeing her dead. I wanted her dead countless times. But with my father, it was different. He was all I had left in the world, and instead of fighting with me, he left with that woman.
Even in his final moment, he chose her.
My past is an intricate labyrinth of pain I don’t like to revisit. I worked hard inside my own mind to erase those memories, but if that’s what it takes to keep my wife with me, I’ll bring them back as many times as necessary through those damn sessions.
There is only one certainty about the future: Jazmina. I cannot give up on her.
You don’t experience paradise and move on. Once you’ve been there, you want to make it your home. And that’s what my princess is to me: an oasis, my private heaven.
With all decisions made, it was the first time I’d been able to breathe more calmly since the night Athol fell ill and landed up in hospital. As if the scare of the false heart attack wasn’t enough, there was also the confrontation with Gilroy.
I lost control in front of my wife. As much as I don’t regret the punches I gave him, I never wanted Jazmina to witness firsthand the violence that lives inside me.
Realizing how little it took to trigger that rage showed me that I truly need help.
So, even having to wage an internal war, I went to three sessions.
The peace I felt knowing I’d see my wife soon didn’t last long. Once again, like the roller coaster my life has always been, chaos took over.
The plane hadn’t even landed when Kaled called to tell me I wouldn’t be taken to the palace but to the hospital.
There had been a bomb attack at the gold market.
Jazmina was there.
I’ve always considered myself the master of my world. Arrogant. Incapable of begging anyone for anything. But now, I whisper every prayer I remember as the official government car pulls up in front of the hospital.
Forgetting Kaled’s instructions, I get out without waiting for the bodyguards.
All that matters is her. If Jazmina is gone, life loses its meaning.
I’ve wandered through shadows since I was a child.
I promised myself I’d never become vulnerable to anyone, but love doesn’t ask permission. It doesn’t allow protection.
It arrives. It happens. It exists.
My princess is the light I always searched for without knowing it. Even before coming here, I already knew I would face my ghosts so we could live our story fully, but the real possibility of losing her, this time for good, changed the rules of the game.
Kaled was nervous and gave me no details, but if God gives me another chance, I won’t waste it. I’ll give her everything she desires in life, because only now do I understand: her happiness is mine as well.
I reach the reception desk, and the last person I expected to see—someone I only know from photographs—comes toward me.
Djamila. Jazmina’s mother.
“You don’t know me. My name is Djamila Faheem. I am your wife’s mother.”
“I don’t have time for introductions,” I say, not caring if I sound rude. Even though Jazmina never went into detail about what her mother thought of our marriage, her absence at the ceremony said it all. Yes, they may have talked now, but that doesn’t erase the insult.
She steps in front of me, something I wouldn’t have expected from a woman her daughter described as submissive. “You’re right not to like me. And to be honest, I can’t say I like or approve of you either. But I love my daughter.”
“Then we have something in common,” I reply, stepping past her, indifferent to that late display of affection.
I don’t care about her upbringing. She tried in every way to curb and suffocate my wife’s spirit.
I don’t sympathize with my mother-in-law, and I have no interest in understanding her motives.
“You say you love her, so listen to me: tread carefully when you walk into that room. She’s terrified.”
She finally gets my attention.
“What?”
“It’s not my place to tell you. Couples must solve their problems together.”
I start to protest, but she stops me with a raised hand.
“I don’t know what’s wrong between you, and I don’t want to interfere. But I know my daughter, and I know she’s insecure about the future of your marriage. The doctor said something that frightened her.”
“What do you mean? What did he say? Is she okay?”
“I don’t know what they discussed. Jazmina asked me to leave.
As for your second question: physically she’s fine, but I don’t know about her heart.
She loves you deeply, and if you can’t offer her the same, set her free so she can find happiness.
Jazmina is impetuous, a free spirit—she always has been.
She defied our culture and beliefs by marrying a Westerner.
That may mean nothing in your world, but some people in mine hated your union. ”
“You included?”
“I didn’t approve, but I can’t hate my daughter for her choices.
” She looks tired. “What I’m trying to tell you is that this attack was directed at her.
And yet, the first thing she did when she woke up was call your name.
My Jazmina loves you enough to go against our people for you.
Take care of that love, or let her be happy with someone else. ”
She walks away, and I remain frozen, processing everything.
When I snap out of it, I see Kaled approaching.
Only now do I realize the hospital is empty—only medical staff, bodyguards, and palace police are here, easily identifiable by their uniforms.
We haven’t returned to our old friendship since my marriage to his sister, but when he stops in front of me, he pulls me into a hug.
No words are necessary. We both nearly lost the women we love.
“I want to see her.”
“Come with me.”
As we walk, I ask, “Tell me what happened.”
“It was a cell from the same group that carried out previous attacks. We thought they’d been completely eliminated, but apparently not.” He pauses, reminding me of the insurgencies and assassination attempts early in his rule, events that led to arrests and executions.
We enter the elevator.
“She was visiting the gold market with Adeela. I personally handled every security detail, and that’s the only reason they weren’t killed.
My best man was with them. He trusted his instincts when he noticed something off in one of the shops.
He barely had time to pull them away before everything exploded. ”
Cold sweat runs down my spine. I’ve never been so afraid in my life. I can picture the scene like a horror film.
We stop in front of her room.
“Were they hurt?”
“No.”
He looks uneasy.
“What is it?”
“I know you’re planning a religious ceremony. As sheikh, brother, and friend, I bless you both, but once it’s over, I think you should get on a plane and return to the UK. I intend to punish everyone who dared try to harm my wife and sister, but I won’t take any risks.”
“If she’s truly fine, we can move the ceremony up to the next few days. I’m doing this because I want our marriage to be real in every sense. I know it matters to my Jazmina, but once it’s over, we’re leaving.”
“You’re in love with my sister.” He looks calmer now.
“I think I always was. Since the day I kidnapped her from Vicenzzo’s yacht.”
“I spent months blaming myself for inadvertently contributing to your union. I thought I’d made a mistake, that you’d hurt her. But I recognize true love when I see it, and now my heart is at peace.”
She isn’t sleeping as I expected. She’s lying in bed, pale, staring out the window.
When she sees me, she doesn’t smile, and my heart tightens. It’s not the reception I wanted, but I’m not backing down. I’m too afraid to care about my pride.
“Are you in pain?”
“No,” she says, but her eyes are empty.
My heart sinks as I walk closer and pull her into my arms. “I love you. I thought I was going to lose my mind when your brother told me about the attack.”
“I’m fine.”
“What’s wrong?”
“We need to talk.” She’s crying.
“What happened? You said you’re not in pain—”
“Not physically. I haven’t recovered from the shock yet, but I’m fine under the circumstances. There’s something more serious we need to address.”
I sit on the bed, lacing our fingers together.
She won’t look at me.
“Talk.”
“The doctor just left. That last day when we were together in London . . .”
Fear is a terrible catalyst. I feel unsteady.
“The day we were together?” I mirror her formal tone. “You mean the night I fucked you against the wall and filled you with my cum?” I should be gentle today, but instead, the force of what I feel for her boils over.
“You have a filthy mouth.”
“But I love you like crazy, Jazmina. With all my baggage, if you want me, I’m yours.”
“Even if I’m pregnant? Would you still want me?” she almost screams.
Seeing the fear of rejection on her face breaks me in two. And then it hits me.
“Pregnant?”
“Yes. We weren’t as careful as we thought. We have the religious ceremonies scheduled, here and in Scotland.” She swallows. “And now I don’t know anymore . . . You said you wanted everything, but you just started therapy and—”
“You think I don’t want you?” I don’t need her answer. Her face says it all. “Is that what you’re afraid of? That I’ll reject you and our child?”
“I don’t know what to think. We were adjusting. I don’t want you staying with me just because I’m pregnant.”
I sit back on the bed and pull her into my arms. “I won’t lie. I’m tense about this. You already know my greatest fear: that we both die, that our child is left alone and suffers what I did.”
“That will never happen. I have a large family. And above all, I have Kaled, Adeela, you, and wonderful friends. We’re not an island, Rodrick.
There are people we can rely on if needed.
I’m so sorry for what you went through. I would kill that miserable woman if I could, maybe even your father, but what happened to you as a child cannot define your future. Otherwise, she wins.”
I look at the strong, courageous woman I have the honor of calling mine.
I can still see the spirited girl from months ago, hungry for life, but also her transformation. She went from a curious girl flirting with existence to my fortress, my foundation, my world.
“I love you, duchess. You have a good, pure heart. I’m lucky to be the object of your love. I’ll strive to become the best husband for you, but I can’t erase what I carry inside.”
“And I’d never ask you to. Don’t you see that I love everything about you? Even your arrogance, your need for control, and especially what you say when you don’t open your mouth.”
“And what is that?”
“I don’t need declarations, Rodrick. Your eyes reveal what you feel. Before our minds were aligned, our hearts already knew we were meant to be.”