17. Ria
CHAPTER 17
RIA
R ia walked upstairs, being careful to keep her footsteps light. She checked on the sleeping triplets before slipping into her bedroom. There, she closed the door, clicked the lock into place, and sat on the bed. Only then did she let the tears come.
She’d hoped for a sign from Tristan that he still wanted her around. A hesitation, perhaps, a sense of remorse, or even a direct request for her to stay. In her daydreams, she’d imagined that he might sweep her into his arms like they were in a rom-com and tell her that she was so much more than a nanny to him.
Instead, he’d told her, in no uncertain terms, to leave. Tomorrow. Ria’s heart broke at the thought, and another wave of tears threatened to overwhelm her. In the morning, she’d have to leave this house forever. She’d have to say goodbye to the triplets forever. And she’d have to let go of any crush she’d felt for Tristan. Forever. It was clearly never to be.
Ria cried until her chest ached and she was thirsty. Then she drank the glass of water she kept on her nightstand and got her suitcase out of her closet. There was no point in putting off the packing, not when she had to leave the next day.
Some small, hopeful part of her listened, just in case Tristan came to knock on the door and tell her he’d made a mistake. No luck, though. If Ria were braver, or if Tristan hadn’t dismissed her so harshly, she might have gone to him herself. But it was clear that Tristan thought of her as nothing but a nanny. Speaking of nannying — Ria wrote a quick email to the agency to accept the new job in Los Angeles and let them know she could start as soon as possible.
Ria folded shorts and T-shirts, jeans and sweaters into her suitcase. When she’d arrived, it had been March, and she’d worn winter clothes. Now, in June, the summer breeze was fresh in the air, and she’d changed to warm-weather clothes. Never once had she gone back to her studio apartment on the other side of the city. It would have broken the spell of this place by reminding her that she belonged elsewhere.
Next, she collected the children’s artwork, mostly Jacob’s, since he was the biggest artist in the bunch. She’d hung a few of the best drawings on the walls to decorate her room. Ria paused in front of one picture, which was a crayon drawing of three small blobs, two larger ones, and a spiral floating in the sky. Jacob had explained to her, as best he could, that it was a drawing of the triplets, Ria and Tristan, and their mother floating in the sky.
Ria held back another rush of tears. The worst part was that she wasn’t just breaking her own heart. Her abrupt departure would hurt the kids, too, especially after they’d lost their mother so recently. Usually, she had at least a week to prepare her young charges for her leaving. Now, she didn’t even have a full day. How would the triplets react when she told them that she was leaving right away?
Ria’s sadness began to fade, replaced by anger. Tristan shouldn’t have insisted that she leave the next day. Even if he was happy for her to take another job, he should have let her have at least a short notice period. He’d accused her of not thinking about the triplets, but clearly he was the one who hadn’t thought about them.
Ria swept the drawings into a folder and placed them carefully on top of her laptop. Next, she packed up most of her toiletries, save for a few things she’d need in the morning.
The bedroom looked bare now. Over the last few months, it had begun to feel like home to Ria. Now, without the personal touches she’d added, it looked just like the soulless guest room she’d first moved into. Ria wondered if Tristan would hire a new nanny, a nanny who would stay here. The thought of him spending late-night dinners with another woman, going with another woman to the park, dancing with another woman… it made Ria feel teary and angry all over again.
There was nothing for it, though. He clearly didn’t want her around. In fact, he wanted her gone so badly that she’d have to leave the very next morning. Whether he moved on tomorrow or in a year, he would move on. He’d find someone. Someone who could be a mother to the triplets and a partner to him.
That would never be Ria.
She spun once more, checking for any personal items she’d left, then got into bed and switched out the light. On a normal night, she might have read, but tonight, she just curled up, buried her head under the covers, and reached for sleep like a welcome friend.
* * *
The next morning, Ria woke early. She showered, dressed in her nicest skirt and top, and did her hair and makeup. There was no reason she shouldn’t show Tristan what he was missing by telling her to leave. Once she was ready, she packed the last of her things and carried her suitcase downstairs. She made a quick breakfast of pancakes and fruit, half-hoping and half-fearing that she’d run into Tristan in the kitchen. She didn’t. A quick check of her phone showed that the agency had already written back confirming her acceptance and suggesting a start date in a few days’ time.
Finally, Ria went to the triplets’ room.
“Good morning, my darlings.”
The triplets wiggled and stretched as they slowly woke up. Jamie, often cuddly in the mornings, lifted his arms for Ria to pick him up. She did, savoring his smell of baby shampoo and sleep.
“Who wants pancakes?” she asked.
“Yay!” the triplets chorused. Ria smiled and hugged Jamie close, even as her chest constricted. This was the last morning she’d hear the triplets shout with joy. And they were so young. In a few months, they would forget all about her, though she would never forget about them.
“Come on, then!”
Downstairs, she settled them at the table instead of in their high chairs and offered them pancakes with fruit. Tristan was still nowhere to be seen as the triplets devoured their pancakes enthusiastically and chattered about what they wanted to do that day.
Once they were done eating, Ria helped them wash their hands and faces then took them into the living room. Her heart aching, she snuggled them in on either side of her.
“So, my dears, I have to go for a little while.” There was no point explaining she’d never be back. Kids this young wouldn’t really understand, and she’d only make them sad if she tried.
“Why?” Jasmine asked. She looked up at Ria with eyes full of confusion. “Where?”
“Just because.” She smiled at the little girl and hugged her close. “But I’ll always think of you. We had so much fun, right?”
“Yeah.” But the triplets looked sad. Ria snuggled with them a while longer, chatting with them and reading a few books, but soon she realized she was just delaying the inevitable. She got up and headed into the entryway, thinking that maybe Tristan wasn’t even going to turn up to say goodbye to her — but there he was. He leaned against the wall with folded arms and an impassive expression. Ria looked away quickly. She didn’t want to see the distance in his eyes, not when he used to look at her as though she mattered.
“Okay, my dears.” She hugged each of the triplets. “Be good for your father, all right?” Tears pricked at the back of her eyes, but she held them at bay. She refused to make things harder for the triplets by crying — nor did she want to let Tristan know how sad she was. As she straightened up, Ria turned to Tristan, who held out a hand.
“Thank you.”
She took his hand for a quick, firm shake. As always, when they touched, a surge of electricity ran up her arm, but she ignored it.
“Thank you, too.” She let go of his hand and turned to the door. Her feet went into her shoes, and her hand grabbed the handle of her suitcase, but in her mind she was miles away. As Ria opened the door, she heard Jacob start to cry. Jasmine joined in, then Jamie’s voice added to the chorus of sadness. Ria turned back.
“It’s all right. I love you, kiddos. It’s all right.” She blew a kiss to each of them.
But the triplets cried on. Ria couldn’t help them, not without going back and scooping them into her arms, and she couldn’t do that. She had to leave.
Without looking back again, Ria slipped out the door and shut it behind her. The warm summer air played across her face as a single tear broke past her defenses and rolled down her cheek. It was always hard to say goodbye to her young charges, but this was on another level. The modern house had felt like home. The triplets had felt like her own kids. And Tristan had felt like a real partner, a confidant, and a man she could have loved.
Ria walked down the path towards the bus station. It was the reverse of the route she’d taken that first day, when she’d been nervous but excited for a new job. Now, she didn’t feel excited about her new work. Not at all. All she wanted to do was climb into bed and cry — or run back to the house that was slowly disappearing into the distance.
On the bus ride home, Ria pressed her face against the window and watched the city roll by. Everyone seemed to be with their families, walking hand in hand with loved ones as small children frolicked ahead. It was a relief to pass through downtown, where most pedestrians wore suits and ties and walked alone.
Ria returned to her studio apartment. It was dark and quiet and smelled a little stale. She opened the windows, letting streams of light and fresh air in, and saw that her plant had died. Of course it had. She hadn’t been back to the apartment in months.
Ria fetched a glass of water and perched on the edge of her couch. There was no point unpacking — she’d start her new job in a few days anyway. Instead, she dialed her sister and spent an hour or so on the phone. She didn’t talk about Tristan or the triplets. She just asked about Nora’s life and listened to her sister talk, and that was enough. For now.
* * *
A few days later, Ria stepped off the airplane in Los Angeles. Even though both cities were in California, she was always surprised by how different LA looked. The air smelled different, more tropical, and palm trees seemed to line every road. A cab took her to the new family along broad boulevards and past a stretch of gleaming sapphire-colored ocean and white-sand beaches. Ria had always wanted to live in LA, but she could barely enjoy it. Her thoughts kept drifting back to Tristan, Jamie, Jacob, and Jasmine. How were they faring without her? Did they miss her? Would she ever hear from them again?
The new family, the Robinsons, lived in a sprawling ranch house with tasteful orange stucco walls and a yard of local drought-friendly plants. The mother, Chrissie, met her at the door.
“You must be Ria!” she beamed. “Welcome, welcome. We’re so glad you could start right away — Callum’s au pair had to go back to France to be with her mother, and we had a bit of a scramble for childcare.” She pulled Ria into a hug.
The welcome was the polar opposite of what Ria had experienced at Tristan’s home. Chrissie led her on a tour of the house, focusing on Ria’s beautifully decorated bedroom and Callum’s room. A few minutes later, the door opened, and young Callum arrived, along with his father. The little boy was friendly and had good manners. Even at just five years old, he smiled up at Ria as he held out his small hand for a shake.
“Welcome,” he said adorably.
The rest of the day was spent getting to know the family and playing with Callum. That night, Callum’s parents insisted on doing the bedtime routine — “We always do,” Chrissie said. “It’s our family time.” While they took care of baths and stories and tucking in, Ria slipped off to her room.
This was the kind of job she’d always dreamed about. Callum was a sweetheart, his parents clearly loved him, and the house was gorgeous. Ria knew she could settle in and be happy here. Yet all she wanted to do was book the first flight back to San Francisco to be with the Wests. Eventually, surely, her heartache would pass, and she would move on. Until then, though, it was hard to accept that she would never again see the little family she’d come to love.