Chapter 18 #2
Carefully, mindful of the fresh bandages across his back, he slipped his hands around my waist and drew me onto his lap. I immediately placed one hand against his shoulder.
“Your back.”
“I'm fine.”
“You're always saying that.”
“And you're always worrying.”
“Because someone has to.”
His smile deepened. Our foreheads met, and for a long moment, we simply looked at each other. No more secrets. No more pretending.
Then he kissed me.
Softly at first, as though he were afraid I'd disappear if he moved too quickly. I answered without hesitation, my fingers slipping into his hair as he exhaled against my lips and tightened his arms around me, careful of his injuries but unwilling to let me go.
The kiss deepened, lingering and unhurried, carrying everything we had never dared to say aloud.
I cupped his face in both hands, silently asking him to stay close, and he leaned into my touch as though he'd been waiting for it forever.
His fingers slid gently through my hair before settling at the back of my neck, cradling me with a tenderness that made my chest ache.
I could feel the steady beat of his heart beneath my palm. Alive. That was all I wanted—for one more day, one more hour, one more stolen moment.
Every kiss seemed to erase another layer of fear until the world beyond the room ceased to exist. Time dissolved.
The danger waiting outside, the blood, the wounds, the impossible future—none of it mattered.
For one stolen moment, there was only us, and the quiet certainty that whatever tomorrow might bring, tonight we had finally stopped running from our hearts.
His hands moved over me with growing urgency, and I answered every touch, no longer afraid of what it meant. The last of the distance between us disappeared as we held each other closer, our breaths catching between kisses. There was no hesitation now, no pretending, no turning back.
We moved together with the instinctive familiarity of two people who had spent far too long denying what their hearts had already known. Eventually, there was nothing left between us but warmth and trust. Face to face, body to body, nothing hidden. Nothing but honesty.
His hand slid to the small of my back, silently asking a question I already knew the answer to.
Before he could speak, I answered by moving closer, settling against him. A shaky breath escaped my lips, and for the first time in years, I didn't wonder whether loving Kai was a mistake. I only wondered why it had taken us so long to admit the truth.
This is it.
For once, I didn't think about tomorrow. Or the impossible mess waiting for us beyond these walls. There was only Kai.
His hands steadied me as we moved together, slow and deliberate.
I clung to his shoulders, careful of his injuries, my fingers brushing gently over his skin as though I needed to reassure myself that he was really here.
His forehead rested against mine, and our breathing gradually fell into the same uneven rhythm.
“I've missed you,” he murmured against my lips before stealing another kiss. “So… so much.”
A smile tugged at my lips. “I've missed you too.”
His eyes softened. He brushed a strand of hair away from my face, letting his fingertips linger against my cheek.
“Do you want me?” I whispered.
His answer came without hesitation. “God… yes. More than anything.”
I smiled and pressed a kiss beneath his ear. His arms tightened around me.
“But right now…” Kai's voice softened, rough with emotion. “I want you in charge.”
He cupped my face, his eyes searching mine with an intensity that stole my breath. “You're beautiful like this. When you stop holding back. When you take control.”
I looked at him, almost unsure what to do with the tenderness in his voice.
A slow smile touched his lips. “I've seen glimpses of that side of you. I want to see more. The woman who isn't afraid to tell me what she wants.”
His forehead rested against mine again. “Just for tonight, don't worry about me. Don't overthink. Just be yourself… and let me follow your lead.”
A quiet laugh escaped him, and something inside me finally loosened.
For so long, I’d been the woman who worried about everyone but herself. Even with Kai, I was always thinking ahead, calculating consequences, trying to be responsible.
But with his hands resting gently at my waist and his eyes fixed on me as though there were nowhere else he’d rather be, I finally allowed myself to stop.
“I'd go anywhere you asked.”
I pulled him closer until there wasn't an inch of space between us.
For once, I allowed myself to stop fighting what I felt: the attraction, the history, all those years of wanting something I had no right to want, and the love I'd tried to bury beneath duty, loyalty, and everything that was supposed to matter more.
Tonight, none of it could reach us.
The room seemed to grow quieter around us. It felt impossibly peaceful, almost unreal.
We moved together slowly, unhurried, lost in the warmth of each other. Every kiss carried something we had never said. Every touch felt like a memory we had somehow forgotten—and yet our bodies remembered perfectly.
I traced my fingers along his jaw, memorising the shape of his face. He caught my hand and kissed my palm before bringing it back to his cheek.
I smiled. “I just want to be with you,” I whispered.
He smiled back, that rare, genuine smile that reached all the way to his eyes. And for one impossible moment, I believed we could have this.
Maybe we could have us.
Maybe tomorrow didn't have to take everything away.
Then the light changed. The golden glow around us grew brighter, too bright, and Kai's face began to blur.
“Kai?”
His voice sounded farther away. “June…”
I reached for him. He reached for me too. Our fingertips brushed, almost touching, almost enough.
Then they slipped apart.
“No…”
The warmth disappeared.
My eyes flew open.
Darkness.
For several seconds, I couldn't move. My heart pounded against my ribs as I stared at the outline of my bedroom ceiling. My breathing came too quickly, so I pressed a hand against my chest, trying to convince myself that I was awake.
I could still feel the phantom warmth of his hand, remember the shape of his smile, taste the memory of his kiss, and hear those three words whispered against my skin.
I love you.
I closed my eyes, trying to hold on to the fragments before they disappeared completely, but they were already fading.
I turned my head toward the window. Pale morning light was beginning to seep through the curtains, drawing thin lines across the room. Everything looked ordinary. Too ordinary. My heart hadn't caught up with reality yet.
Was it only a dream? Or had my sleeping mind wandered back to something buried so deeply that I'd almost convinced myself it had never happened?
Outside, the soft cry of a child pierced the silence. A woman's gentle shushing followed, tender and familiar.
Reality crashed over me. Kai's wife was here. So was their child. And somewhere in all of this was my husband, Dannie.
The warmth I'd been clinging to evaporated, leaving behind the cold emptiness of morning—and guilt. So much guilt.
I stared at the ceiling, listening to the quiet sounds of the house waking around me.
Whatever that had been—a dream, a memory, or some cruel mixture of both—it belonged to another life.
A life where Kai and I could choose each other.