Chapter 31 #2
“You’re different than most.” He studies me with heavy concentration. After a moment of silence, he stands and strides to the minibar. “I’m more dehydrated than I thought.”
“What does being a bookish boy have to do with how you learned to deal with overwhelming stress?”
I want to know how he mastered his emotions. If he could, maybe I could, too. He twists a lid off a bottle of water and faces me.
“When I was young, I was bullied for many years. The trauma of it manifested into panic attacks.” He says it matter-of-factly, almost like he rehearsed it.
I try to analyze him, but he keeps going before I can gauge his sincerity.
“My parents got me diagnosed and presented me with treatment options. That’s when I went digging for information.”
“Your parents let you decide how to deal with them?”
“They did.” He takes a drink and then screws the lid back on. “They were both therapists and wanted me to have a say in the matter.”
“Your parents sound smart.”
“They are.”
“Why do I get the sense there’s a but in there somewhere?”
He laughs under his breath. “And this interaction with you is exactly why I always forget you’re young.”
An instant wall goes up around my heart and I huff. “Why do you always do that? We were finally having a genuine conversation, and you diminished it by bringing up my age.”
“I apologize for hurting your feelings.” He hesitates by staring at me for a moment, then he sits beside me. “You’re young and sometimes that gives me reason to pause.”
“Pause what? Being a kind person who will have an honest discussion with someone who really wants and needs the information?”
“No, it’s just that you come across someone much older than you are. If anything, you… It’s…” He runs his palm over his beard. “I get uncomfortable with you at times.”
“Me?” My face screws up. “Why? What do I do that makes you feel that way?”
He sighs in a confused tone. “It’s hard to explain, but it’s not your issue. It’s mine to deal with and I’ll manage it.”
My phone beeps with a message. I want both to curse the interruption and be grateful for it.
I reach for it and take it off the coffee table. A message from Gia shines up at me.
Gia: Happy New Year’s to you, too. I’m glad you’re doing well. I’m going to go work out. Let’s meet back here after and you can tell me about your breakfast date.
A zing of excitement flashes through me like a lightning bolt at her reference to me being on a date with Jax. A moment passes and I remember the past two minutes.
Me: It’s not a date. If anything, it’s the same thing I always deal with Jaxon. He likes to put me in a box and only sees me as a kid.
Gia: Sorry. I know how much you hate being treated that way.
Me: Thanks. Have a good workout.
Gia: Will do. Try to enjoy your time with Jaxon. He seems like a nice guy. I really enjoyed spending time with him last night.
I place my phone in my lap and gaze over at him. “Gia says she liked getting to know you last night.”
“She’s a beautiful young woman and a pleasure to be around.”
“She’s not much older than I am.” I narrow my eyes. “Yet she’s a woman and I’m just a girl.”
“Can we forget the topic of age and focus on what we were discussing before?” He rests his palm on my knee. “We were having a great conversation and I let a niggle of worry bleed into it.”
I glance at his hand and warmth spreads through me. I release any frustration and focus on him.
“Jax, is that your way of saying you haven’t mastered the art of living with zero anxiety yet?”
He puffs out a resigned breath. “Clearly, not with that.”
“With what?”
“Nothing.” He shakes his head and removes his hand. “Back to the issue. When I was researching how to cope with my problems, I found a lot of different techniques that proved to help considerably.”
“Such as?”
He pauses for a second and stares at me with a heaviness that seems filled with desire. He glances at my lips and tugs on the collar of his sweatshirt.
“Meditation.” He nods as if that’s his way of convincing one of us that’s what he was truly thinking about. “There’s always medication if the other options don’t work.”
“I take medication for it and find it numbs me. It doesn’t really give me any relief in the long run.”
“Are you in therapy?”
“I was.” I lower my head. “It wasn’t helping, so I stopped. My brother even said he thought it made me worse.”
“That’s interesting.”
I raise my gaze to his. “What’s interesting?”
“Therapy. Your brother said it made you worse. What did your parents think?”
“They didn’t say. I just told them one day I didn’t need to go anymore.”
“And that’s all it took to get them to agree?”
I crinkle up my nose and prepare to admit my manipulation tactic. “Let’s just say I know what to do and how to do it when it comes to getting them to see things my way.”
“I know. I’ve seen you do it myself,” Jax says dryly.
“When?”
“That time you wanted your dad’s credit card.” Jax’s breathing kicks up. “You called him Daddy and used his emotional ties to you being his little girl against him so you could get some new clothes.”
“When was that?”
“The day I met you.”
I think back to when that was. Something he said to me once comes to mind.
I arch a brow. “You told me you barely remembered that day.”
“When did I say that?”
“At my parents’ networking party. You know the one. It’s when I met your lover, Cindy.” I smirk in a gotcha kind of way. “Is that still a thing? Or just club nights at Elite-Sinsations?”
His jaw tightens and he turns red. My phone rings and I answer it.
“Hello?”
“Happy New Year’s, darling!” My dad’s cheery voice sings through the line. “Your mom and I wanted to check in and see how you’re doing.”
“Oh. Hi, Daddy. I was just talking about you.”
“Why?”
A mischievous ripple bubbles up in my chest and I smile at Jax. “Because I’m sitting here with one of your friends.”
Jax jumps off the couch, slices his hands through the air, and mouths, “Do not tell him I’m with you.”
Why? What can it hurt?