19. Chapter 14
Breaking Point
Evin
E vin chuckled softly, but Bas said nothing.
Before the door could click shut, Bas called out, "Wait up, I’m coming!
" He let go of her hand and stood up, running a hand through his hair like he needed to get himself together.
With a strange urgency, he grabbed his T-shirt and pulled it over his head, then adjusted the hem as if trying to shake off the tension clinging to his skin.
Evin watched him in confusion. Something had shifted.
"What are you doing?" she whispered barely.
But he didn’t look at her, didn’t say a word. Just smoothed his hair, straightened his shoulders—like he was preparing to face something. Or escape it.
"Bas?" She sat up, watched him grab his things, moving as if he was desperate to get out. What had changed?
"I…" Bas stumbled over his words, avoiding her gaze as he pulled his shir t over his head. "I should go."
Evin couldn’t believe what she was hearing. Just minutes ago, he had been so close, laughing with her, touching her, trusting her. And now? Now he was retreating, like he always did. The walls she thought she’d managed to tear down were suddenly back, impenetrable.
She wanted to ask why, to demand what had happened, but the fear of being rejected further held her back. By the time she found the words, Bas was already halfway to the door.
He didn’t look back.
No explanation.
Nothing.
Just silence.
As the door clicked shut, Evin sank back onto the bed. Her thoughts spiraled.
She couldn’t understand. A moment ago, he had held her like she was the only thing that mattered in his world.
And now? Now he was gone, as if none of it had happened.
As if it didn’t mean anything. Tears stung her eyes, but she blinked them away.
She wouldn’t cry.
Not here.
Not now.
And definitely not over him.
Not when she didn’t even know what she had done wrong.
Hastily, she pulled on her clothes and left the room. Her body felt heavy, like all the warmth she’d felt earlier had vanished with him.
Outside, the garden was still, bathed in the soft glow of scattered lights.
Most of the guests had already left. Bas stood with his back to her, a fresh beer in his hand, surrounded by his friends and Cat .
Fine , she thought bitterly. She didn’t want anyone to see her like this… not when she barely recognized herself.
Get a grip, Evin!
Not while confusion and pain were tearing at her from within.
Wha tever had just happened, it had felt real.
And now, in a single moment, it was gone. Evin shook her head, trying to banish the thoughts that gnawed at her, trying to piece together the chaos in her mind. But deep down, she knew—this night would haunt her.
__________
Sebastian
B as shut the door behind him and exhaled sharply, his fingers gripping the door handle as if it was the only thing keeping him upright.
His pulse pounded in his ears, drowning out everything else.
His skin was still burning from where she had touched him, where her lips had traced his, where her body had molded so perfectly against his.
He had to leave.
If he had stayed just a second longer, he wouldn’t have stopped. Wouldn’t have held back. And fuck, he wanted her—more than he wanted his next breath.
But that was exactly why he had to go.
Because it wasn’t just about wanting her.
It was about control.
And he was about to lose it.
Bas ran a hand over his face, his breath still uneven, his body still aching from the way she had looked at him. Like she needed him. Like she still wanted him, despite everything.
And maybe that was the worst part.
She wasn’t supposed to look at him like that. Not after what she had done.
Not after she kissed Ben.
He clenched his jaw.
It wasn’t even the kiss that mattered anymore.
He needed that excuse to keep her at a distance.
Because if he didn’t—
If he let her get too close—
She might see too much. And maybe, worse, so would everyone else.
Especially this time, he wouldn’t know how to get back up.
He straightened, rolling his shoulders back, forcing himself to breathe. He needed a distraction. Something. Anything.
Just as that thought crossed his mind, the door creaked open behind him.
"There you are," Cat purred behind him.
Fucking perfect.
He turned towards her.
But beneath all the anger, the jealousy, the bravado—it was there. That damn uncertainty.
The fear he’d never be enough for Evin, crashing into reckless little moments of hope. As if, for a second, he could be what she needed. But deep down, he knew better.
He didn’t fear her leaving because she didn’t care. He feared her leaving because she’d care enough to look deeper—and see everything wrong with him.
He swallowed it down. Locked it away.
“Come on. Let’s head out. The boys are probably waiting.”
Cat blinked. “You want to go now?”
“Yeah,” he whispered, already moving outside. “She already thinks the worst of me.” His reputation was fucked anyway.
If he was going to make bad decisions tonight, he might as well commit to them completely.
_________ _
Evin
C onfused by his behavior, Evin had put up her own walls, pretending it didn’t bother her. But only while she was still there—inside, the fire of the past few hours seemed to be burning her alive.
Milka grabbed her arm and raising her voice slightly, "Evin, I’m not feeling well. Let’s go, please."
Thank god!
With hurried goodbyes, the two of them left the party in silence.
Evin didn’t even manage to say goodbye to Jonas. As they hurried off the property, the sound of the boys’ laughter and shouts still echoed behind them.
Evin felt an uneasiness growing inside her, so strong it broke her silence.
"Milka," she began as they reached their bikes. Her jaw was so tense she had to rub her face to loosen it before she could even process her thoughts.
"Wait until we’re around the corner," Milka replied as they mounted their bikes.
The entire ride home, they dissected the night in hushed tones, exchanging glances only they could decode.
They replayed everything, as they always did—every word, every laugh, even the silence between them carried the familiarity of years of shared highs and lows.
Evin’s whirlwind of emotions refused to settle. She was so overwhelmed by the intensity of love and feelings that she couldn’t even hold Bas’s actions at the end against him.
"How did I ever deserve you?" Evin said with emphasis. "My savior in need."
"I love you too, babe, but he doesn’t—not enough. He doesn’t deserve you," Milka shot back.
"If only he’d let his guard down," Evin mumbled.
"He just wants to have his fun," Milka scoffed, pedaling behind her friend.
"But there was something... It was like he was disappointed in the kitchen... Or maybe I’m just imagining it."
"Do I really have to spell it out? Let me sum it up for you: He wanted to hear, 'I don’t want just anyone. I don’t care about societal norms. I want to be with you. Let’s just see where this goes. No strings attached." Milka turned her head to her friend.
“Fuck him, Evin. You could’ve laid your heart out for him, and he still would've looked the other way.” The dopamine rush coursing through Evin refused to subside. Her body tingled in different places, and whenever she closed her eyes, she felt small sparks where Bas had touched her.
She pedaled faster and faster.
The harder she pushed the pedals, the more the burning seemed to spread, as if every gust of wind brought his touches back to life on her skin. The rush seemed to propel her forward, as if each gust of wind could etch his touch deeper into her skin.
"Do you think so? But if I’d said that, it would’ve been too much. He’d have felt trapped again and then…"
"That’s why I said he doesn’t deserve you. You two are doomed, and to be honest, you don’t even appreciate each other. All you do is hurt one another."
Evin paused, letting Milka’s words sink in. Was that true?
Milka nudged her, breaking the silence. "Ben."
"That’s completely different!"
"Oh, really? Just because Bas’s an ass doesn’t mean he doesn’t have a heart."
"Bas doesn’t have a heart," Evin groaned, thinking about how he left the room without even looking back.
"Then he has a massive ego and just as much pride. How’s he supposed to reconcile that? You complicated everything."
"First, it was just a kiss. Second, he said I could do whatever I wanted. Third, before I complicated anything, he’d already screwed me over ten times and made it clear he doesn’t want me."
"You said it yourself. It doesn’t make sense with you two. Don’t get me wrong, babe. It was a worthy reality check. Bas more than deserved it. But I still don’t think he digested this easily."