24. Sutton
Sutton
The day after Sophie crawled for the first time, I spent a very late night at Iris’s place, baby-proofing with the supplies I’d bought a few weeks ago.
The night after that I tackled my apartment.
The reason my nights were so late was because after work Sophie and I were at Asher’s for dinner.
He’d even insisted I bring Iris with us last night so we could all eat pizza together.
So here Sophie and I were for the fourth night in a row.
She was on the floor in the living room, crawling around while Asher kept his hawk eyes on her.
I’d assured him that she would be okay, that there was a good chance she’d hurt herself at some point but that happened with kids.
He glared at me for a solid five minutes after that.
“How’s the private members club coming along?” I asked as I pulled the blanket off the couch behind me.
He shook his head. “Noah wants to name it The Pleasure Palace.”
I melted as I laughed. He acted annoyed with all of Noah’s antics but he really did love his friend. “I mean…you might get a lot of people signing up. It could be a good marketing strategy.”
“The place will speak for itself. We already have a long waitlist for memberships, from people from all around the world, and not because they think we’re some brothel.”
“So did you land on a name?”
“Everyone but Noah voted on Silverpine Reserve.”
“Classy, a little mysterious,” I mused. “I like it. Quinn was showing me pictures the other day. It looks fancier than anywhere I’ve ever been, that’s for sure.”
“I’ll bring you there when it opens.”
I yawned, my eyes watering with how aggressive it was.
“Are you going to tell me why you’re so tired?” Asher asked, glancing between Soph and me.
“I had to baby-proof Iris’s place and mine.” I rested my head on the armrest of the couch.
Plus, I’d woken up a few times from a nightmare where Ben got Sophie in court and I had to watch him walk away with her while Sophie screamed for me.
That I didn’t bother telling him about. Maya was keeping me updated with emails and regular calls but so far there wasn’t much to report, just lawyers going back and forth with paperwork, I guess.
I was trying to push forward, letting the worry disappear to the corners of my mind. But that was hard.
When I looked over at Ash, he was blinking, a curious look on his face. “You didn’t expect me to tell you,” I realized with a laugh.
“Not without more pushing.”
“My tiredness is making me more agreeable.”
“You should have called me for help.”
I closed my eyes and smiled softly. I had briefly considered mentioning it to him, which was a testament to how used to him I was getting. But then he might have hired someone to do it for me and this man had already done more for me than I could comprehend sometimes.
“Hmph,” he grunted, only making me smile more. “Do you have the energy to get up the stairs?”
My eyes opened. Asher was scraping his hand over his jaw, almost nervously. I noticed that the scruff there was always the same length and I had a feeling that was because Soph loved to rub it. “Upstairs here?” I frowned, not sure what was making him nervous.
He nodded, eyes on me. I yawned again, covering my mouth.
“Sure.” I’d been upstairs during his tour of the house but maybe the lamps I’d bought on his phone had arrived. I was still surprised he’d given me the code to his phone. “Then after that I should probably leave so I don’t fall asleep on your couch.”
He came to stand in front of me, offering me his hand. He pulled me up off the couch before bending down to swipe Sophie off the ground one-handed, his muscles flexing as he did. It was hot the way he could so easily lift my daughter, and I knew she was always safe in his arms.
I yawned again as we made our way through the gate he had installed at the bottom of his stairs and up.
His room was at the back of the house with big windows overlooking the yard.
But instead of going toward the double doors that led to his room, he went to the door on the left.
As far as I knew, it was an empty guest room.
But as he pushed open the door, I stood there in shock.
He let my hand drop as I walked into the room.
There were white beadboard panels on the lower half of all the walls.
Above it was beautiful wallpaper depicting tall grass and flowers, including pink daisies.
There was a soft-sided bin with toys and a wood bookshelf stocked full of books.
A crib stood in the middle of the room with a soft green sheet, along with a matching set of drawers that had a changing pad on top and a beautifully cozy-looking rocking chair in the corner.
I stood there blinking while Asher looked around the room and cleared his throat.
“There’s a camera mounted on the wall above the crib since you won’t be able to hear her as well from anywhere else in the house.
Jaxson investigated it for me; it’s the best there is and even monitors her breathing.
The whole room was baby-proofed and the bookshelves were mounted to the wall so there’s no risk there.
” He wiped a hand on his pants as he looked around, almost searching for something else to tell me.
“Ash.” My voice broke as I looked around, shaking my head with tears coming to my eyes.
“Fuck,” he muttered before looking at Sophie.
“You didn’t hear that,” he told her before he grabbed a soft little bunny off the rocking chair and deposited it and Sophie into the crib.
She squawked a little but was quickly distracted by the stuffed animal.
Asher strode up to me and gently gripped my shoulders.
“I shouldn’t have done this without your help.
I should have given you free rein. Quinn helped me but she’s never had a kid so I also had my designer source some stuff but I should have asked.
Fuck, I can have someone come in and take it all down—”
I cut him off by pressing my lips to his. I didn’t think about it; I just did it. He let go of my shoulders and I looped my arms around him.
It was soft at first, teasing, almost like he wasn’t sure, but when I opened my mouth, he took control. His tongue mingled with mine, the sensation tingling down to my toes.
I pulled back before I could drop all my defenses and all my reasons and let him take complete control. His head dropped to my neck and he inhaled like he was taking in my scent before he straightened.
He looked down at me, his breath coming in quickly, his eyes hazy with lust, blinking like he was dazed. I liked that I had thrown him off, that he seemed shocked by me making the first move.
That made two of us.
“I just needed you to stop talking.” My voice came out huskier than I would have liked. “I wasn’t crying because I was angry. I was crying because this was so thoughtful. You made a room for her?”
“Of course.” He sounded like I was ridiculous for even asking. “You’ve been spending a lot of time here, and it means if you don’t want to go home you can stay.”
My heart squeezed as I buried my face in his chest, pressing myself as close to him as I could. I wasn’t even sure what to say as he rested his chin on top of my head.
“Sophie likes her bunny.” I could feel him look over at her, one of his arms moving gently over my back. I nodded again, taking a deep breath. “Sweetheart, I need you to say something.”
I pulled back to look up at him. “You want us to stay?”
“Whenever you want, Sutton. You’re always welcome here.”
I pushed my lips together and nodded a few times, gathering my thoughts. “I just…” I shook my head. “Thank you.”
It’s not what I wanted to say. I wanted to say that asking him to be my friend had more to do with my fear of letting someone in and then getting hurt.
That since I had Sophie I kept to myself to protect us both.
That I felt like my life was a lot to ask someone to take on.
That no one aside from Iris had cared about me like this.
That every selfless thing he did for me cracked the armor I had around me.
The way he seemed to care for my daughter made me want to weep because she deserved to have that kind of person in her life looking out for her.
But I couldn’t say any of that.
He watched, clearly aware that I was editing myself, but instead of pushing me, a soft smile came to his face as he leaned down, pressed another kiss to my forehead, and then pulled away.
“Be right back,” he muttered as he started out the door, but then he stopped and turned to look at me. “You can kiss me to shut me up anytime.”
I let out a laugh that was a little rocky because I’d been crying and my brain was in turmoil but his comment distracted me. “Grizzly, you mostly grunt and stare at me. I never have to shut you up.”
“Hmm.” He seemed to give the comment some serious thought. “Good incentive to talk more.” With a small smirk, he left the room.
I turned around, letting out a big breath as I took in the space again. It was beautiful. And exactly what I had saved on my Pinterest board for when I could eventually get a place where Sophie had her own room.
Suspiciously similar, actually.
Sophie started clapping and looking over at me so I focused on her. She had the bunny grasped in both hands.
“What’s that, Soph?” She looked up at me with a toothless smile. “Do you like the bunny? Can you say bun-ny?” She just stared up at me, saying gibberish back. She was so adorable. I reached out, brushing her little hairs out of her face as she sat there, content.
“Here.”
I turned around to see Asher holding out a T-shirt.
I lifted an eyebrow but didn’t reach for it. “What’s that?”
“A shirt,” he grumbled.
“Mm-hmm. Doesn’t answer my question.”
“It’s to replace your other one.”
“My other one?”
“Sutton.” He kind of growled out my name.
“What?” I asked, letting out a little laugh and smiling at him. “I don’t understand why you’re giving me a T-shirt.”
“You sleep in your ex’s,” he answered almost begrudgingly.
“Yeah, because it’s big and comfy.”
His jaw ticked a little at that answer. “Right, and this will be big on you since you’re tiny.”
“Rude, just because I’m not a six-something giant doesn’t mean I’m short.”
“You’re five-five.”
“Stop calling me short.”
“Sutton.”
I relented and took the shirt, holding it out so I could see it. It was what looked like an old school shirt of his. He was right, it would probably come down to my mid-thigh since Asher was so huge all around. Definitely bigger than my ex.
I’m sure he’d be bigger—
Nope. Not going there.
It was clear that it had been washed a number of times because it was soft and the University of Cambridge crest had faded.
“It’s yours to keep. Burn your other one. I have more.”
“I’m not going to burn it,” I laughed as he watched me, blinking.
“I have a firepit.”
I opened my mouth to respond but instead I just shook my head, pretty sure he was serious.
Sophie cried out, giving me an excuse to throw the shirt over my shoulder so I could go pick her up. She kept the bunny in her grip but lifted her hands for me, resting her head on my shoulder once she was on my hip.
“She might never give this back.”
His face was soft as he looked down at her. “I’ll buy thirty more.” I knew he wasn’t joking. “You’re not staying?”
I wanted to, boy did I want to. But I wasn’t ready for that tonight.
“Sophie and I don’t have clothes and Iris is watching her tomorrow so it’s easier if I’m next door in the morning.”
He nodded at my logic. I could tell he was disappointed but not surprised.
“Soon?” His eyes came up to mine.
My heartbeat hammered in my chest at the hope in his eyes. His calm steady presence grounded me, shifting some of the weight on my shoulders.
The butterflies I’d been constantly fighting off around him had taken root tonight and I didn’t think they were going anywhere.
“Soon,” I agreed.