CHAPTER FORTY-FOUR
A phone call from Parker interrupted a lovely breakfast after a fitful night of tossing and turning and thinking of wishes and dreams. Angela was almost glad to have work to focus on as she and Sawyer retreated to the living room to take Parker’s phone call.
“Two things,” Parker said. “First, Angela, you’ll be happy to hear that Mylene Hathaway has been transported to a first-rate mental health facility and will be reunited with her family.”
Angela’s heart jumped into her throat, and tears burned at the back of it. She was a ball of emotions. None had been focused on Mylene, but they were all about to be. “Really?”
“Really,” Parker confirmed. “Hang on—”
“Angela?” Jared barked, joining the call.
“Yes, sir?”
“You did it. Mission accomplished.”
She did, didn’t she? Her fingers pressed to her throat. Angela couldn’t speak and looked to Sawyer to say something. If she had to talk, she might cry in an over-the-top kind of way and embarrass herself.
He read her loud and clear. “Angela’s the kind of happy where nothing’s coming out of her mouth.”
Jared and Parker chuckled.
“Thanks,” she mouthed.
“Was there a second thing?” Sawyer asked. “Or should we just throw ourselves a little congratulatory party?”
“Yeah, there’s more. Federal prosecutors told Pham’s lawyers to shove it. Negotiations are off. They’re sticking to the trial schedule. The judge says they have time to make up for.”
Her eyes opened wide. A whole new level of emotion made her head spin like a Tasmanian Devil. White noise roared in Angela’s ears. The trial had seemed years away. Ibrahim had tried to prep her as those years had ticked by, but she’d pushed reality away. The trial would always be next month, next year. Pham would always be the good guy and bad guy and person she had to testify against. Violent, stomach-churning nausea made the room feel too warm.
“Which means,” Parker continued, “opening statements could be as soon as next week.”
Angela tried to focus on Sawyer as though he were a lighthouse in a tumultuous sea. Strong and tall and capable. But worry tightened on his face. That didn’t bode well for her beacon of stability.
“What does that mean for witnesses?” Sawyer asked.
Good. He was asking questions to get the answers she needed. Angela hadn’t even thought about when she was supposed to testify. No, her panic was stuck at square one. The trial would start. After years of building this court case, it was time for action.
“It’s the prosecution’s prerogative as to who’s called when. Opening statement and then they’ll be off and running. Angela, they’ll want to speak with you soon.”
Her head swam. She tried to nod. Panic blanketed her chest, compressing until each breath was a shallow, racing mess. Parker continued talking, but she couldn’t hear him. White noise and a little screeching voice in her head yelled that she would see Pham next week.
Oh, God. If not next week, then very, very soon. Bile rose into her throat. “I’m going to see Pham,” she tried to say but wasn’t sure that any words came out of her mouth.
“Angela?” Sawyer put his hand on her shoulder and gave her a little shake.
She couldn’t focus on him. Her tongue felt thick. Swimming through the nausea, she swayed.
“Guys, we’ll call you back.” Sawyer hung up. “Ange, hey? You okay?”
Years had passed since she saw Pham. Her mind had been so screwed up then. He abducted her! How had she ever thought of him as family? Her stomach roiled, twisting and tying into revolting knots. Cold sweat and confused memories prickled over her skin.
“Ange, look at me.” His hands squeezed her shoulders. “Focus on me.”
As her head swam, her eyes pinched shut. “I’m gonna be sick.”
Sawyer half carried, half hustled her to the bathroom. Her legs gave out. Gently, he laid her on the cold tile floor. She curled into a ball, pressing her pounding temple to the tile.
Sawyer remained close. She could hear him speak but wasn’t sure of what he said. Thoughts of testifying bore down on her with strangling force. Pham had stolen her life and pretended to care about her, but he didn’t. She was a wealthy man’s plaything, used and abused without a finger laid on her.
At one time, she’d almost loved him, or at least thought she had, desperately needing the attention that Pham had given easily.
But it wasn’t real.
Knowing that made it better and worse.
A damp, cold cloth was pressed to her forehead. Angela moaned. It felt so good.
“There you go.” He held the cloth against her skin. “Take a couple of slow breaths.”
She hadn’t realized how fast her heart was racing. Angela tried to slow her pulse. She inhaled through her nose, dragging in deeper, longer breaths.
“There you go,” he repeated soothingly. “Nice and easy.”
The heart-racing nausea slowly ebbed. Angela propped herself against the bathtub.
Sawyer sat on the tub’s edge and smoothed his strong hand over the back of her head. He brushed her hair off her cheek and the washcloth and resumed stroking the back of her head. Finally, she’d caught her breath.
“Are you good for a minute?”
“I’m fine,” she managed, sounding hoarse and unbelievable.
Sawyer kissed the top of her head. “I’ll be back.”
Angela turned the cloth over and pressed its cooler side to her forehead again. With her head between her knees and her arms crossed protectively over the top of her head, she tried to steady her racing thoughts.
Sawyer returned. “Take a drink of water.”
She peeked up and took the glass. Her hand trembled, and deciding it was better to use two hands than to let the glass shatter on the tile, she sipped.
“Good, sweetheart.” He returned to his perch on the tub’s edge. “It will be okay.”
She wasn’t sure if that was true.
“Do you want me to call Ibrahim?” he asked.
She shook her head. “There’s nothing he will tell me that he hasn’t told me before.”
Sawyer frowned but didn’t try to convince Angela that she was wrong. He didn’t have to. She knew it, but that wasn’t what she needed.
“Have you seen Pham since Titan rescued you?” he asked, though she understood he knew the answer.
She shook her head. “Only in the news.”
He slid down beside her and put his strong arm around her shoulders. She folded into him. This was what she needed. Him holding her. Protecting her from the world as he always did.
“Pham doesn’t freak me out.” But saying that ratcheted her nerves into a tsunami again. “I just—”
Sawyer squeezed her close. His lips pressed to the top of her head. “Whether he does, or he doesn’t…” He inched back and lifted her chin with his fingers. Sawyer waited until he had her focus. “You’re not going to face that monster alone.” His thumb swept across her cheek. “You’ve got me. All of us.”
She had Sawyer. She always had him. Angela nodded. When he looked at her like that, she felt invincible. She folded the damp washcloth and hung it on the side of the tub. “I couldn’t do this without you.”
“Sure you could.” He smiled. “But you wouldn’t have had as much fun along the way.”
God, she loved him. She loved him so much it hurt.
Sawyer tipped her chin up again and kissed her lips softly. After an eternity of feather-light kisses, his forehead pressed to hers. Angela crawled onto his lap and traced her fingers down his temples, his cheeks, and his chin, carefully studying every millimeter of his face. This bond would be gone before too long.
“What’s on your mind, Ange?”
She couldn’t tell him. “Your parents probably think I’m nuts.”
She didn’t miss his scrutiny, but after a moment, he shook his head with a quiet laugh. “My parents are in the middle of a hot debate about what color to paint the laundry room shelves. They didn’t notice.”
That made her laugh. “Liar.”
He crossed his heart. “Scout’s honor.” Sawyer slid her from his lap and stood, holding out his hand and then pulling her to her feet. “How do you feel? Better?”
“Eh…” Angela made a face. “I’ve started my day with better phone calls.”
His lips quirked. “You probably need food in your stomach.”
“Probably right.”
Sure enough, when they reached the kitchen, Sam and Susan were shuffling paint chips in various shades of white and wheat. Susan barely paused to ask if either Sawyer or Angela needed more pancakes—the two had barely touched their plates.
“Told you.” He smacked a kiss on her cheek. Neither Sam nor Susan noticed that either. Such was the paint debate.
Five minutes and a generous heaping plate of pancakes later, Angela was ready to finish the conversation with Parker. She finished her orange juice and decided that nothing would knock her down like that again. They returned Parker and Jared’s call. The conversation continued without panic attacks or meltdowns.
“The only thing left to decide is where you wait it out,” Jared said. “I’m sure Casa de Cabot is lovely, but a safe house is the way to go.”
Not imposing on the Cabots was understandable, though she hated to leave a house that felt like a home.
“We need to be on high alert,” Sawyer said, agreeing. “This is Pham’s last time to keep Angela from testifying. I’m not heading anywhere that isn’t stocked with enough firepower to protect a battalion.”
That didn’t worry her. Maybe it should have, but the only thing that would tie Angela into knots was facing Pham in court.
Jared let out a long breath. “We’ve been down the safe house road already. It didn’t work as it should have.”
“And we know why,” Angela snapped. “I used to date an idiot who slept with Pham’s—”
“I know, Angela,” Jared said. “But it’s safer if the Federal Marshals can stash you somewhere temporarily—”
“No,” she and Sawyer said simultaneously.
Couldn’t Boss Man see how close Witness Protection felt like Pham’s abduction? Basic needs would be met, but she’d have to walk away from everyone until they let her go.
“I’m sorry to shit on your day, Angela,” Jared said. “But your only option that everyone will agree with is a temporary stint in Witness Protection.”
“Who is everyone?” she demanded.
“You know the laundry list.”
She looked to Sawyer for answers. His hard-set jaw didn’t show he had any. “Jared, I can’t.”
“We don’t have much say—”
“Yes—”
“Angela,” Jared interrupted, “I don’t want to be the asshole. But you know that I’ll be that guy. There are a lot of people trying to do right by you, by this trial—”
“Don’t you get that the idea of someone bringing me to an unknown place where I can’t contact my loved ones is too much to ask of me again? It’s too similar to when Pham imprisoned me.” The choking memories stole her rationality. “Don’t you get that? Jared, please. I can’t.”
“I’m saying you don’t have a choice.”
Tears welled in her eyes. Angela shook her head. She tried to find safe harbor in Sawyer. His tight expression was one she couldn’t read. Her stomach knotted. “Sawyer?”
Tension flexed in his jaw, but he shook his head. “Jared knows the players, the situation… He knows everything and is working from a clear-headed perspective.” Sawyer ground his molars. “We’re not.”
Maybe Ibrahim could give her some kind of pass. A doctor’s note that would excuse her from Boss Man’s demands. But in her heart, she knew Ibrahim wouldn’t ignore her physical safety—especially when it seemed as if they had exhausted all other options.
A tear escaped. Her arms felt lined with lead. Angela couldn’t manage to wipe the tear away before another fell.
Sawyer noticed. His lips pinched, and his nostrils flared as he pulled in a deep breath. But he didn’t contradict Jared.
Her world spun. The floor had been pulled from beneath her feet. Witness Protection had always been a distant, unexercised option, but she didn’t think it would ever happen. It was happening. Angela’s chin dipped.
“Parker,” Jared said, “give me the line. Alone.” A moment later, he said, “Angela, let me talk to Sawyer. Alone.”
Her eyes flashed to Sawyer’s. Sawyer lifted his chin.
Trepidation sprung in the pit of her stomach. What was there to say to Sawyer that Angela couldn’t hear? Her throat knotted. The two men she trusted above all others wanted her to leave so they could talk about her. Slowly, she stood from the table and found herself in her bedroom.
Knowing that she was the topic of conversation needled under her skin. She shut the door and sank onto the bed. Every second crawled by. She tried to imagine their discussion and didn’t like any of her thoughts.
Finally, Sawyer knocked on the door. She opened it, partly thrilled they were finished discussing her, partly hurt that they didn’t think she could hear or handle what they had said.
“Your turn,” he said. His face was unreadable, and, though he stood inches away from her, Sawyer felt miles away.
Angela rolled her lips together and found where Sawyer had left the phone. She picked it up and pressed it to her ear. She swallowed hard, suddenly unsure of her voice. “Boss Man?”
“Hey.”
Her throat constricted. Jared sounded almost apologetic, almost… She wasn’t sure. His voice wasn’t patronizing or patriarchal. But it was something that made her insides feel like sludge. “What did you say to Sawyer that you can’t say to me?”
Jared let out a long, foreboding breath. “You said you had a problem with Witness Protection.”
Her teeth clenched. “You know I have a problem with it.”
“You said it kept you from your loved ones.”
“Yeah,” she said cautiously.
Silence hung on the call.
“That’s never what you told me before. Years ago, when Witness Protection was on the table. Before I offered you a job with Titan.”
She couldn’t recall that exact conversation. “I don’t remember specifically what I said.”
“You told me that you didn’t want to cede control again. I understood.”
“Then why—”
“The situation has changed, Angela. You know it, and I know it. Look, here’s what you can control. Your beliefs. Your values. Your thoughts and your perspective. But you can’t control your loved ones.”
“If this has to do with what my mother has said, I’m done with her weighing in on my life.”
“I wish it was that easy, Angela.”
“Why isn’t it?”
He remained silent for so long that she checked to see if the call had been dropped.
“Jared?” she asked.
“I don’t have experience on my side, but when I tell you this, you gotta know that I believe it.”
“And you have to know that you’re starting to freak me out.”
“Great,” he grumbled. “This was easier with Sawyer.”
“ What was? ”
“I think your loved one is sitting in the other room.”
Her stomach dropped. Her mouth did too.
“And judging by that stunned silence you’re giving me, instead of a world-class Sorenson rebuttal, I’m not off base,” he continued as Angela’s heart seesawed. “Take a vacation. Let it be in Witness Protection. And if you need your loved one with you, bring them with you. No questions asked. Disappear together. When it’s done and time to show up to work again, that’s what you do. Together.”
Heat crawled into her cheeks. Her heartbeat raced. Jared was talking about Sawyer. “I…”
“You don’t have to manage a safe house or your safety. Neither does anyone else you bring along. If that’s what you meant about not wanting to leave your loved ones.”
Angela’s mouth had gone dry. Had Jared told Sawyer she loved him? He couldn’t know that. Still, not knowing something wouldn’t stop Boss Man when his instinct spoke up.
Jared chuckled. “And if I’m wrong a hundred different ways, ignore me.” She could almost see him shrug and crack his knuckles. “But I don’t think I am.”
“I can’t be in love with him,” she whispered.
“Why’s that?”
Angela shook her head. “You know his past better than I do.”
Jared released a soul-reaching sigh. “The shitty thing about this job is all of the ugly that I have seen over the years. Ugly conditions. Ugly humanity. Ugly, ugly grief. The kind when life’s not fair, and it’s hard to keep going. But this is the thing, Angela. Something changed in Sawyer the day he met you. You never saw him before.”
“We’re just friends.”
“Good. You both needed that when you first moved to Abu Dhabi.”
“We’re still friends.”
“Again, good. ’Cause rumor has it that’s the basis for a lot more to build on.”
“Jared—”
“I don’t give two shits if you two are friends or fucking or in it for the long haul. But I do care if you ignore me when I say it’s time for Witness Protection.”
Jared wouldn’t force her, but until this point, he had let her take the lead on where she was. That sank in. So did the points he had made about Sawyer. “Is this the same conversation you had with Sawyer?” she asked.
Jared snort-laughed. “No. Not a chance.”
She had to laugh, relieved and more than a little curious. “Should I even ask?”
“I wouldn’t say anything even if you did.”
“Fair enough.” Angela bit her bottom lip. “What now?”
“Sit pretty and let the Marshals whisk you to the unknown. I’ll be waiting for you at the trial.”
“And Sawyer?”
“Talk to him. He either disappears with you, or he’ll make his way back to headquarters.”
“No matter if he goes with me, can he also be at the courthouse when I testify?”
Jared scoffed. “Don’t waste your time asking questions you already know the answer to.”
That reply made her smile. Of course Sawyer would be wherever she needed him to be. All she had to do was ask.