13. Wonderwall
Chapter thirteen
Wonderwall
T he next morning, they groggily made their way to the small hotel dining room where continental breakfast was available. It was a bland place with cream-colored walls that had a narrow strip of blue floral wallpaper wrapped around the room near the ceiling. Wood chairs sat around simple square tables, and long white countertops were against the back half where there was a self-serve station. The food selection was surprisingly robust. Cups of batter sat next to a timed waffle iron. Scrambled eggs and bacon were placed in warmers, and a wide variety of cereals, bagels, and muffins piled inside plastic bins.
They each filled a paper plate and sat across from each other at a table next to one of the tall windows.
Talia gulped down orange juice then said. “So, it looks like we’re about two hours past Roswell. But we’re really close to the white sands and I’ve always wanted to check them out, what do you say? Small detour?”
Angela had a mouthful and nodded as she chewed, then swallowed and said. “Sounds great!”
It was as if the emotions from the previous night had faded away, and this new day offered a fresh start. The tension of being in a body not her own, and not knowing if Angela’s species was tracking them, was pushed to the back of their minds, as if they really were just a pair of best friends on a road trip.
Only once did the faint feeling of betrayal waft over Angela as they ate in silence. Whether the feeling was from the betrayal of her species, or the secret guilt of not caring how long she was in this body, Angela wasn’t sure. But one glance at Talia tapping her fingers in rhythm to the music playing overhead while she ate, erased any uneasiness, leaving only a profound gratefulness of being in her presence.
The burning brightness of daylight made Angela squint her eyes. They were standing in the middle of a deserted planet, or at least, that’s how it felt to Angela. Despite the long line of cars at the entry gates, once they had parked and walked into the white sands a little further, it was as if they were the only two people in this place. She looked into the distance, all around her, hills of powder white gypsum spread edge to edge of her vision. The tiny granules, silky smooth, fell from her hand, slipping through her fingers like a shower of glitter.
This was the first moment Angela could recall any feeling of what could be described as peace. The heaviness and fear of her unknown, even if momentarily, floated away on the wind. She lay down on her back, against the hot pliable surface, almost too hot to touch, and breathed in deeply, savoring the air of this place.
She felt a shift in the sand next to her and goosebumps rose along her arm. Talia sat down, then slowly laid next to her.
“Pretty amazing out here, isn’t it?” She asked.
Angela turned her head to look at Talia, taking in the shape of her nose, the way her cheekbones curved and the soft pink of her lips. “That’s an understatement.” She replied, and when Talia looked back at her and held her gaze, it sent her heart racing.
The ping of laughter from a nearby group of people echoed to them, breaking their stillness. Moments later they saw the family, a group of four, that appeared at the top of the nearest hill. They carried neon-colored boards of green, blue, and pink under their arms. Angela watched as they positioned themselves on top of the boards and pushed off sledding down the hill of sand as though it were mounds of slick fresh snow, spraying sand as they went.
Talia sat up rod straight, mouth hanging open. “Oh.My.God. We have to try that!”
Angela laughed as Talia excitedly pulled her up and said. “Anything for you.”
A short while later, after walking back to the gift shop and renting their own sleds, they were positioned at the top of the highest hill they could find. Talia grabbed Angela’s hand and gave it a squeeze, as if asking without words to go down the hill together, and Angela’s heart did a somersault.
They flew.
White gushed out from under their boards as they slid down the river of sand. Their laughter melded together like the chords of a classical composition made of joy. Angela knew that if she died at this very moment of exhilaration, next to this human that she loved, it would be a happy death.
That thought was like a lightning bolt to her brain, and Angela was pulled into a memory.
She was no longer gliding through the white sands of New Mexico, yet Talia was still by her side, only much younger. They were walking through the hallways of what appeared to be a standard North American high school, and Talia was holding her hand.
She looked down and she no longer saw Angela’s feminine brown hand, it was the strong veined hand of a pale skinned male. They passed by the small square window of a classroom door and the reflection looking back at him had a mop of thick black hair and bright blue eyes.
“So, what do you think? Limo or no limo?” Talia asked.
Just as he was about to answer, the flash of memory faded away and he was she again, back in Angela’s body.
Who the fuck am I?
Talia was cowering in fear, staring at her as if she was looking at a giant mountain lion, a threat . “What the hell just happened?” She asked sharply.
Angela stuttered. “Um, I don’t know.” She gulped. “I was living a memory, but it was one of my own, I think. It didn’t feel like a recall.”
She stared at Talia clutching at handfuls of sand on the ground. Then Talia stood and put her hands on her hips. “You flew off your board, and instead of falling to the ground like a human , you hovered in the air, again . Only this time, you were twitching, like you were having a fucking seizure in the air and I couldn’t do a damn thing about it!”
She’s not scared of me, she’s worried about me.
Angela tried to hide the smile that was lighting her up from the inside.
Talia stared at her, waiting for a reaction. Then shouted. “You’re lucky no one saw you!” Another pregnant pause passed between them, then she asked more calmly. “Do you do this on purpose? This hovering thing?”
Angela shook her head. “No. I don’t know why it happens.” She hesitated, wondering how, or if, she should say what it was that she saw in her memory.
Talia’s expression softened. “Well, it’s been a long day, we should probably get going.” She brushed sand off her legs as she said. “Besides, I’m hungry.”
Angela nodded in agreement. “Yeah, I could go for some food.”
Angela stared at Talia in amazement as she stuffed an entire dumpling in her mouth. “How do you eat the way you do and not get sick?”
Talia shrugged and mumbled through her full mouth. “Small, frequent, portions.” She swallowed. “Or maybe I have an anxiety fueled metabolism.”
Angela laughed. “I don’t think that’s a thing, Tal.”
Talia twitched and her sudden silence worried Angela. “Did I say something wrong?”
She looked down and twisted the napkin in her lap. “No, it’s just someone I cared about once used to call me that, Tal.”
Fuck.
Angela faltered, then took a deep breath and let it out mindfully.
You’re Angela, not the mystery high school boy.
“Do you want to talk about it?” She asked.
Angela could hear Talia start tapping her foot under the table. “No.” and then Talia pushed her food away. “I’m full, you ready to go?”
“Sure.” Angela replied.
Back in the hotel room, sand fell from their clothes as they stripped down to their underwear on the linoleum covered entryway for easier cleaning. Talia winced as she lifted her shirt up over her head.
Angela could feel panic bubbling to the surface. “Are you okay?” She asked, her voice coated in concern.
She sucked in air before replying. “Yeah, just sunburned I think.” She looked at Angela, “How about you? You were in that tank top, how are your shoulders?”
Angela tenderly prodded her shoulders. “Sensitive, and hot.”
“Yep, you’re burnt too.” She strutted over to the telephone in her bra and undies, sand clung to her skin and Angela could not tear her eyes away. “I’ll call the front desk, hotels usually carry toiletries for purchase, maybe they’ll have some aloe.”
She picked the phone up and hit the call button for the front desk, only a moment of silence passed before someone picked up the other end of the line. “Hello, yes, this is room 214, do you happen to have any aloe vera for purchase? Wonderful, can you have a bottle sent up? Great, yes, just charge the card on file please.”
Talia hung the phone up and spun towards Angela with a smile. “It’ll be here in a few minutes, apparently it’s a pretty common request in this area.”
Angela gave a small grin and nod, wondering how long this reprieve with Talia would last. She wanted nothing more than to live in the moment with her as long as possible. To be near her. To know her. But the ever-present threat of being captured and returned to their normal lives was like an angry storm cloud looming overhead. An eventuality that would no doubt catch up to them.
Lost in thought before finally saying. “How long are we going to stay on the run like this? Your parents credit card is not a long-term solution. I have to confront Stathos-6 at some point.”
Talia’s face turned sour, she visibly clenched her jaw. “Is that what you want? To turn your-Angela’s body over to them for who knows what!” She crossed her arms. “I thought the plan was to give your mind time to catch up, to remember as much as you can, before taking any kind of action.” She hesitated before saying. “And what about me? How do your kind treat witnesses?”
“Mind wipes.” The words tumbled from her mouth automatically before she could catch them.
Talia sat heavily on the bed as if she had been hit in the chest. “And you’re okay with that? Messing with people’s heads like that?”
Angela’s words came out fast and mumbled. “No. NO. Of course not. I- just- I’m sorry, I-don’t know.” Slowly, as she stumbled through her words, defensive anger rose within her. She stopped and took a breath, and shockingly, glared at Talia, her Talia. She never could have imagined being angry with her, but here it was, anger, and frustration, built up and ready to explode.
“You know what, Talia? I’m tired of defending myself! You said you could treat me like a friend, that you would help figure out what has happened to me! But all you seem to do is blame me for not really being Angela! I don’t know why I’m in this body, I don’t know where all these memories are coming from, I don’t even know who I am! Right now, I’m nothing but a scarecrow stuffed full of random and short spurts of memory from dozens of different lives! I don’t even know which ones are mine anymore… but the one I had today-”
A knock at the door interrupted them. Angela fell silent and Talia marched past, grabbed a robe that hung from the bathroom door and wrapped it around herself. She cracked open the door, took the bag from the concierge, and thanked them.
Instead of returning to their conversation, Talia headed to the bathroom and said quietly over her shoulder. “I’ll take a shower first.” Then shut the door firmly with a click of the lock.
Angela flung herself onto the bed and rubbed her eyes. The hot prickling of tears threatened to spill over, and a lump gathered in her throat.
What am I doing?
The minutes ticked by until finally hot steam, heavy with a floral scent, poured from the bathroom when Talia opened the door and came out. Wordlessly, Angela walked by her and tucked herself in the tile covered room to wash away the gypsum from her skin.
Night had fallen by the time Angela emerged from the bathroom, clean and dressed in PJ’s. Talia had ordered room service, that sat propped up on trays, of what looked like sandwiches, fresh fruit, and salads. She was sitting in the dark, cross-legged on the bed they had shared the previous night, as a soft glow and sound emitted from the television.
Angela flipped a switch to turn a light on, startling Talia.
“Oh, hey.” She said. “I ordered you some dinner.”
Angela smiled and sat down next to her. “Thanks.”
Talia muted the T.V. and turned to face her before saying. “Look… I’m really sorry about the way I’ve been treating you. It’s been… a lot. And it’s been kind of hard to accept all of this. My fear turned to anger, and I’ve been taking that anger out on you.”
She was quiet for a moment and when Angela didn’t say anything, she continued. “Can we start over?”
Angela smiled widely; her cheeks flushed. “I would like that.”
Talia returned her smile and sighed with relief.
She really does care about me.
“I think it might help if I stop calling you, Angela. Is that okay?”
Angela nodded, grateful that Talia was talking to her.
Talia continued. “Do you remember yet what your name might be?”
Angela shook her head.
“Is there a name you would like to be called?”
Angela shrugged and shook her head again.
“Okay.” Talia was quiet for a few minutes before saying. “Well, how about, Estrellas?” Talia smiled and she had a shine in her eye as if she were recalling a happy memory. She didn’t wait for a response before continuing. “My mom used to sing a Spanish lullaby to me every night before bed, and after, we would wish upon a star.” She let out a soft laugh. “You know that old rhyme, ‘I wish I may, I wish I might, have the wish I wish tonight’ or ‘Deseo Puedo, Desee Pude Tener este deseo que deseo esta noche.’, well, that was our version of saying our prayers-much to my fathers dismay. He would have much rather we prayed to La Madre Guadalupe, but something about the night sky called to my mother.” Talia hugged herself and chewed on her bottom lip. “My mom used to say to me, ‘Mija vino de las estrellas’, or ‘my darling came from the stars’. Estrellas seems very fitting for you.”
She was quiet after that, waiting for a reply. Angela slowly, as if scared for her to pull away, took Talia’s hands and gave them a gentle squeeze. “I love it. Estrellas it is.” When Talia didn’t pull away, Estrellas continued. “Thank you. For everything, for being here with me.”
Talia nodded and a single tear fell from the corner of her eye. She sniffled and smiled wide before asking. “So, did you get your shoulders taken care of?”
Estrellas tilted their head quizzically and said. “Huh?”
Talia laughed. “Your shoulders, silly! Did you get any aloe on them?”
Estrellas shook their head.
Talia stood up and went into the restroom, then returned with the bottle of aloe. She sat back down next to Estrellas, squeezed out some of the green gel and gently rubbed it on their skin. It was cool and soothing, and the feel of her hands against their skin tingled. The care she took made the lump in their throat rise again. They swallowed thickly and wiped a tear from the corner of their eye.
I don’t deserve you.