FATED
17
- ALANIS -
T he pain is unbearable, as if fire shoots through my veins. Every blink makes it harder to open my eyes. Kailu’s voice rings out in the cavern, but I struggle to find him.
The ground rumbles.
No, not the ground. Malakai. Why is he growling? I can feel his body brace, as if to attack a potential threat, though all I can see is Kailu. He halts mid-step, even as his temper visibly flares, an emotion there and gone on his face before I can name it.
Hannah kneels next to me while the Elves dig through their satchels. Sarya approaches with a vial of liquid, which gleams like shimmery gold. She hands it to Hannah and Malakai’s arms tense around me.
Hannah gently grips my forearm where the infected cut is located. She looks closely before running her free hand over it. She gives the Elves a nod and Sarya withdraws her dagger.
Both Kailu and Malakai let out feral growls that make the hair on my arms stand on end.
Sarya sighs. “We need to widen the cut to try and get as much of the poison out as possible. Then we will add a few drops of this healing serum to attack whatever may have already entered her blood stream. It’s a perfectly safe combination of herbs and medicine. We don’t go anywhere without it now that the ghouls seem to be running rampant.”
Kailu kneels by Hannah and brushes a soft hand over my sweaty forehead. I give him a small smile, trying to ease some of his worry. Hannah takes the dagger from the Elf and looks to me. I merely nod.
She slices downward from the cut and then upward. I bite my lip to hold back the cry. I hear Malakai hiss, but I’m not sure why.
Wetness seeps into my torso. That’s when I see blood drip from the new slices decorating his arm.
Slices that look eerily similar to my own.
I turn wide eyes to him, but he is looking at Kailu. Everyone in the room is staring at us with shock and intrigue. Kailu’s teeth are clenched so hard that I’m surprised they don’t crack.
Sarya breaks the awkward silence, thank the Gods, because my body is burning up and I’m not sure how much more I can endure.
“We could speed up the process by sucking out the poison.” She hesitates, looking between Kailu and Malakai, leaving me even more confused than before.
Kailu glances at Malakai, who nods. Why in the world is Kailu getting permission from him?
Kailu places a soft kiss on my forehead before leaning forward and piercing my already damaged skin with his sharp teeth.
I whimper, which only causes Malakai to tighten his hold on me.
The process takes only a minute, but feels like longer. Hannah adds three drops of the serum to my arm. The pain slowly subsides to the point I feel my strength begin to return. Now I’m just fatigued, as if I haven’t slept in months.
Malakai releases his hold, allowing me to slowly sit up. The room spins as I do, and he quickly steadies me while Kailu helps me to my feet.
We slowly make our way back out of the Celestial Cave. When we reach the mouth of the cave, the men keeping watch turn and stare wide-eyed at our battle-worn appearance.
Siveral walks toward me and Kailu, and then does a double take, cursing when he recognizes Malakai.
“What the hell happened in there?”
Kailu leads me to Zephyr while Malakai stays back to explain to the rest of the men. I look to the sky, estimating we only have about an hour of daylight left. It was decided it would be best to move further away from the cave before setting up camp, seeing as it was a portal that seemed to be frequently used by ghouls. Malakai recommended a spot he’s used numerous times that apparently is pretty hidden from the travel-worn trails.
Kailu is silent for the short ride, and I’m too tired to make conversation. As soon as I dismount, though, I hurry to help Hannah and Sarya.
“How are you doing?” Hannah asks. Sarya watches me carefully, as if I might pass out.
I shrug. “I’m all right. Just tired.”
They nod and continue erecting the tents. I notice Sarya glance at Hendrix and smile.
“So, Sarya. Hendrix is pretty cute…” I trail off and Hannah snickers.
Sarya blushes. “Yes, I suppose he is.”
Hannah laughs now. “Alanis is always trying to be a matchmaker. She tried to get me to date her brother for months. Don’t mind her, she’s just a sucker for happily-ever-afters.”
Sarya’s tinkling laugh rings through the trees. “Yeah, speaking of, it seems you have two Fae males interested in you. How ever will you choose, Alanis?”
I gape while Hannah and Sarya double over in laughter.
“I hate you both,” I declare as I walk away.
“We love you, too!” Hannah shouts.
I flip her off and chuckle. How did I get so lucky to have not one but possibly two friends who make me feel welcome? Even if they are both a pain in my ass. I glance at Hendrix, who is covering his mouth as he laughs.
“Hey! What are you laughing at?”
He holds his hands up, definitely laughing at me. “Nothing. I’m not laughing.”
“Traitors. All of you,” I mumble. Hendrix winks, and I can’t help but smile.
When I see Kailu near the tree line, I head to him, wrapping my arms around his waist from behind. I breathe in his scent, letting the familiarity of it calm me.
He stiffens for a split second, and alarm bells ring in my mind. But after a moment, he turns to hold me, resting his chin on top of my head. This male has been such a comfort to me, and even though it’s only been a short while since we met, I know I care deeply for him. I could easily love him. The thought scares me, but the excitement outweighs the fear.
I run my hands under his shirt, wrapping them around his back, then push onto my tiptoes and kiss up his neck. He grinds his teeth, trying to keep some semblance of composure.
I want to see his tightly-reined control fray. I dig my nails into his back and run them all the way down, no doubt leaving marks.
He growls, and before I know it, I am lifted in his arms. His mouth attacks mine. We are tongue and teeth, this kiss so very different than any of the others. He consumes me like he won’t get the chance again.
My heart beats faster, in a panic.
He takes us to his tent, mere steps away from where I found him, and sets me down in the entrance before taking my hand and leading me inside. Grabbing me by the waist, he pulls me onto his lap. I grind against him, hoping to relieve this growing pressure in my core.
I reach for the button on his breeches, but his shaking hand snaps up, stopping my movements. When I look at him in silent question, he refuses to meet my eye.
Dread drops into my stomach.
I grab him by the chin, forcing him to look at me. My heart sinks at what I see in his face. That wall he had built up so high when I met him is back in place. His eyes are empty, not filled with the joy and humor I had come to love.
My eyes burn. I slide off his lap, fiddling with my fingers. I’m not sure what to do with myself in this moment.
He stares at me with guilt. I nod and swallow hard. I’ve been through so much, lost so much. I’ve lost everyone, even Elion.
And now Kailu.
The damn tears I’ve done so well at holding back finally drop. His breath catches as I aggressively wipe the tears away, pissed I let him see my weakness.
“Alanis…”
My name on his lips makes me flinch. He reaches for me and I back up, looking at him. “I understand. It’s fine. We’ll just go back to doing what we set out to.”
I don’t look at him again as I hurry out of his tent and into mine. It’s there that I let the tears fall. The only sound is my sniffling, which I will say is due to allergies if anyone asks.
I don’t leave the tent the rest of the night.
Not to eat.
Not to drink.
Not even when Hendrix comes by to see if I’m all right.
I curl up in a ball and mourn what could have been.
- KAILU -
I sit at the fire with the rest of the men, but her sporadic sniffles leave my heart in shreds. Malakai sits across from me with a permanent death glare on his face.
I ignore him. It’s his fault, anyway. Gods damn him. And Gods damn my conscience for caring.
I hear her breath catch, and the heart-wrenching sound is the last straw. I need space.
I need to kill something.
I get up and stomp toward the forest. Maybe a hunt will take my mind off my awful luck.
It’s been at least two decades since I was interested in anyone. Alanis started as a nuisance, but each day that passed I saw a little more. Her wits, her humor, her heart.
I rub my chest at the pain that flares. Alanis is so much more than anyone else I’ve ever had in my life, and I’m struggling to grapple with the truth that blasted me in the face in that cave.
I hear his footsteps before I see him. I turn, hurling my dagger. The bastard simply catches it, twirling it in his fingers as he stalks toward me.
“What do you want, Malakai?” I growl.
He purses his lips. “I want to know why she is in her tent crying like you trampled all over her heart.”
I jerk my head back like I’ve been slapped. “You know why. You know I couldn’t let it keep going after everything.”
He’s in my face now, going toe-to-toe with me. He’s got me in height and speed, but we are closely matched in strength.
He growls at me through clenched teeth. “No, I don’t know why. We don’t know shit, you just assumed. And even if that is what this is, I didn’t ask you to rip her heart out.”
I shove him back, begging for a fight. “We all saw your arm. You felt the pain when she did, you bled when she did! You’re Godsdamned fated, Malakai! I can’t compete with that!”
Malakai pauses. “Kailu, I know this opens old wounds—”
“You don’t know shit.”
He gives me his look that calls bullshit. “I know what happened between you and my sister hurt, but it’s been decades.”
I bark out a pained laugh. “What are the chances that the two females I’ve ever loved both end up fated to others? That’s some pretty bad luck if you ask me.”
Malakai opens his mouth, as if to retort, only to stop to stare at me in shock. “You love her?”
I clasp my hands around the back of my neck, turning away. I’d really like this conversation to end, but I have a feeling he won’t let it drop. “I care for her deeply. I have only ever loved your sister…”
A branch snaps and I turn. Alanis’s wide blue eyes filled with pain and betrayal. She shakes her head, shaky fingers touching her lips. “Sorry, I…I heard a noise and just wanted to make sure you were all right.”
“Alanis, wait!” I call for her, but she doesn’t stop her retreat, her jagged breaths ripping what’s left of my heart to shreds.
“You love her,” Malakai states.
I nod solemnly. “I care for her enough to let her go. I would never ask her to go through the pain of choosing. I saw what it did to your sister. Being in love with me and her fated, it almost killed her. I won’t do that to Alanis.”
I look to Malakai, who had been one of my best friends since joining the King’s Guard. Our relationship burnt to ashes around the same time his sister married another.
Not that I blame her.
“And what if I said I didn’t want her? If I left and didn’t return.”
I smile, though not from joy. “You and I both know that’s a lie. Everyone in that room felt your connection, even her. She might not understand what happened or what it means, but when she does, those feelings…” I take a deep breath, trying to calm my broken heart. “You know as well as I do that you wouldn’t be able to stay away for long, not now that you know. There will be a constant draw to where she is, one you won’t be able to escape or resist.”
He looks away, refusing to meet my eye. He knows I’m right; he clearly already feels the pull toward her.
“I’m going to take a few of the humans and branch off on my own. I think it’ll be best for all of us if I give her some space. I’m going to head towards the villages of Vrolstead and Reapwood and see what I can find.”
His brows furrow. “She’s going to be hurt when she wakes up and finds you’re gone.”
I swallow hard. “I know, but it’s for the best. You will be here to help. Get to know her. She really is quite amazing.” I smile thinking about her and everything we have been through together. I’m going to miss my sunshine more than anything, I don’t want to live in the dark anymore.
“Your fated is out there. You know that, right? We all have one; we just have to be willing to find them.”
When I walk toward him, he braces, as if he’s ready to take a punch. Instead, I clap him on the back, pulling him in for a hug. His arms clasp tightly around me and in that moment I regret all the wasted time, time I could have spent with my best friend, but instead I distanced myself and wallowed in self-pity.
“Protect her, Mal,” I whisper into his ear. “They’re coming for her, and they won’t stop until they have her.”
He simply nods.
When we return to camp together, I head for Siveral. “I’m going to go on ahead of the group. Try to get further in a smaller group for some answers.”
Siveral tilts his head at me, studying me. “Kailu, if this is about what happened in the cave…”
Raising a hand, I cut him off. “Just leave it.”
Siveral puts a hand on my shoulder and stares at me. Not with pity, he would never, but with pain. “I understand why you need space, but shouldn’t you explain to Alanis instead of running away in the middle of the night?”
I square my shoulders. “I’m not running. I’ll be back. I just need time. It hurts, Siveral. I feel like I’m split open and bleeding out. How can this happen again?”
He sighs. “I don’t know. But you will find your happiness. I’m sure of it.”
Pulling him in for a quick hug, I glance around the group, then nod for Hendrix to join us. “Four of the humans will come with me,” I tell Siveral, “but I want Hendrix to stay behind to keep an eye on her and update me whenever necessary.”
Hendrix arrives with a questioning look.
“Keep an eye on her. Shit is only going to get worse. Make sure to watch out for her. Please. I’ll stay near Vrolstead. If you need me, send word to the inn.”
“Of course I will. But when will you be back?”
“Soon, hopefully. I just need some space, and I might as well try to get some answers in the process.”
“If you’re going to Vrolstead, bring me back some of that amazing jerky, will ya?”
I laugh. Leave it to Hendrix to get my mind off things. “Do you ever stop eating?”
He gives me that charming smile he likes to show the ladies. “I’ve been blessed with the body of a God.”
Siveral snorts. “All right, boy, let’s not get carried away.”
“You’re just mad that you can’t keep up with me, Siv. Not at your age.”
Siveral groans. “Watch it.”
I laugh. “Give it a break, you two. Don’t get into trouble while I’m gone.”
“No promises,” Hendrix and Siveral say in unison. Hendrix punches Siveral and then the two are wrestling like adolescents.
I leave them to it.
I mount Zephyr and he snorts, wondering why his buddy isn’t coming with us. I look at her tent one last time, finally quiet. No sniffles or tears, just deep breathing.
I give Zeph a quick squeeze at his sides and he starts to walk. Each step away from her causes the pain in my chest to grow.
Maybe I’m having a heart attack. At this point I’d welcome it, then I wouldn’t feel this gut-wrenching pain.
By the time the campsite has faded from view, I’m completely numb.
No thoughts.
No feelings.
Just emptiness.
My chest a giant, gaping wound that only she could fill.