30. Sierra
SIERRA
“ I think that was the last of my questions,” the interviewer said, flipping the page on his clipboard, eyes scanning quickly.
Oh thank God . If I had to film one more press junket, I was going to scream.
“Yep, that’s all,” he confirmed. “Thanks for taking the time.”
“Thank you,” I said, reaching for his hand, giving it a shake as I felt the last of my smile crumbling.
“That’s great, Sierra!” Jillian called from the side of the room where she stood with three of her assistants, filing cast and crew through various interviews. She didn’t even look up at me, her eyes glued to her phone, but I didn’t care.
I jumped out of the foldable canvas chair—the kind typically associated with directors—and scurried off the interview set.
The room was packed to the brim with promotional posters for Every Day , a massive step-and-repeat unfurling across the wall, the background covered with the Hart of Gold Productions logo .
It was a lot for me to deal with, especially considering current circumstances. I was just doing my best to hold myself together.
“Don’t go far!” Jillian called after me.
I winced. “I thought I was done?”
“Brenna has your schedule,” Jillian tossed over her shoulder before muttering about Kaiden and rushing off to find him.
I took the opportunity to dart out of the room, needing a breather before the next interview. When this was all over, I never wanted to hear the words Oscar Press Tour ever again. It had been close to a week of promotional work.
I’d agreed to do it. It was a necessary part of my path to securing award nominations. But the prospect of it had seemed a lot less painful before everything went sideways with me and Finn.
Before the Hart of Gold Productions office became a pit of quicksand that was slowly crushing me. And frankly, I was having trouble mustering up the enthusiasm for any of it.
Thankfully, today was my last day. The last day I’d ever have to set foot on this property—and Ro had come along for moral support. I pulled my phone out of my pocket to text her.
Where are you?
Craft services , she replied. Everyone wants the tea on you and Finn. Are you done?
I groaned. Taking a break. I think there’s one more interview left.
Come to craft.
I’d rather not.
The craft ladies are totally Team Sierra. Don’t worry .
I grimaced down at the phone screen. I didn’t want there to have to be any teams. Word of our breakup had swept through the studio like wildfire, and now people had two reactions.
Either they could barely meet my eye as we passed in the hall, giving me awkward, perfunctory smiles, or they pointed me out to their friends and couldn’t stop staring.
It had been two weeks since the breakup, and I was tired of being the freaky little sideshow in the carnival. I just wanted to be done.
Heeled boots clicked down the hall, and I glanced up, knowing it was Brenna just by the cadence of the tap, tap, tap . I was going to miss that. Miss her. Things hadn’t been the same since…
Well, I suppose it would have been hard for us to keep up our old routine of giggling together over some piece of office gossip now that I was the office gossip.
In response, Brenna had jumped right into professional mode while ferrying me around from press junket to press junket with the various media outlets Jillian had invited.
“Okay,” she said, slowing next to me as she consulted her tablet. “Jillian’s pushing Kaiden through a series of soundbites right now, so you’ve got about twenty minutes before she’ll be ready for you again.”
“I’m just gonna pop down to craft and grab a coffee,” I announced, wanting to get away from the awkwardness.
She nodded, firing off a message on her tablet. “Sounds good. I’ll come grab you in a few.”
I headed off without another word. Part of me wondered if Finn had assigned Brenna to me, hoping to get me in and out of the building as quickly as possible. He’d been avoiding me completely, but that part didn’t bother me .
It’s not like I wanted to see him.
That would only have made these past couple of weeks more difficult.
My phone started buzzing in my hand as I made my way down the hall. “Hi, Mom,” I said, ducking into an empty room. “I’m at work, so I only have a minute, but I can give you a call lat?—”
A tremendous sob crackled through the speaker, and my heart dropped into my stomach.
“What’s wrong?” I asked, immediately on high alert.
“I just got home from work,” Mom said, sniffling into the phone, “and I couldn’t find Larry anywhere. His keys were gone, he wasn’t answering his phone, and it looked like he’d packed himself a bag, and I—” The rest of her words were garbled by sobs.
“You’re sure he’s not just out with the guys or something?”
“No,” Mom said, her voice shaky. “I found a note on the kitchen table.”
A jolt of adrenaline shot through me as my worst fears about this relationship came to life. I knew Larry wasn’t in it for the long haul. I’d just had a feeling. This wasn’t our first runner.
“He said he needed to clear his head,” Mom explained, “and I don…I don’t…” Her words grew thick, choked. “I don’t know what to do.”
“Oh, Mom,” I said softly, my chest clenching at the sound. We both knew what “clear his head” meant, and I really couldn’t handle two relationships falling apart. Not right now. “It’ll be all right. We’ve been through this before.”
“But Larry was different,” she said. “ We were different. This…This isn’t supposed to happen. ”
Oof . I knew exactly how she felt. But it looked like both our clocks had struck midnight.
She hiccuped, the sob getting stuck in her throat as she croaked, “I just really thought this was my chance, you know? I actually believed he was the one . Have I just been fooling myself? Maybe I’m destined to be alone.”
“Don’t say that.” Mom had never been the type of person to not believe love was just around the corner. I needed her to be that person.
“Maybe it’s not supposed to happen for me.” She sighed heavily. “Maybe I don’t get my happy ending.”
Her words struck me like arrows to the heart, and I couldn’t help the rush of sadness that coursed through me.
My thoughts locked on Finn, on how wrong my world felt now that he wasn’t a part of it.
And just like that, the dam I’d built up around my feelings fell apart, and I burst into sudden, uncontrollable tears.
“Sierra?” Mom said, the shock of my own sobs snapping her into mother mode. “Honey, what’s going on?”
I didn’t even know where to start. The fake engagement or the real relationship?
Trey’s interview with Milli or the fight with Finn that had ended it all?
It was all too much, but in the end, the only place I could start was at the beginning with In Stitches.
By the time I was done, I’d missed my next interview slot and had a dozen increasingly frantic messages from Brenna and Jillian.
“Well,” Mom said, still sounding a little stunned at my confession. “You’ve certainly had a lot going on. I wish you’d told me sooner. I could have been there for you.”
The comforting words broke the last of my composure, and I went back to crying. It was the first time I’d really let myself cry since that first night .
“I don’t even know why I’m so upset,” I admitted. “This was never supposed to be anything real. I should just be able to get over him like I have all the guys before. I don’t know why this time it feels so much worse.”
“Maybe because it was something real,” Mom said.
Maybe it was, at least for me. Somewhere in that mess, I’d started to love Finn.
“You know,” Mom said gently. “I think we can love a lot of people, Sierra. They come and go from our lives—and they’re important to us while they’re there, but when they leave, we’re able to move on.
But I think, maybe, we fall in love once.
And that love is harder to recover from.
At least, that’s the way it feels with Larry.
I’m not saying Finn is that person for you… ”
But what if he was? I thought miserably. What if he was the one and only man I got to fall in love with, and I’d lost him? I cleared my throat. “I think I’m gonna go, Mom. Are you gonna be okay?”
“Yeah,” Mom said, sounding surprisingly calm. “I’m good. I love you, okay? Don’t forget that. And don’t forget that we’re both going to be okay. Us Banks women are mighty. I’ll call you later, sweetheart.”
I hung up. I didn’t feel very mighty as I fired off an apology text to Brenna and Jillian and made my way to the costume shop, taking one last look at the place that had brought me so much joy these past months. I’d miss the shop and the team and creating together.
I walked into my office, sitting down behind the desk to collect the last of my things, stuffing draft costume sketches and my favorite pair of fabric scissors into my bag.
I glanced over at Merle, standing in the corner with that can of RevX still taped to his hand.
I’d eaten the almonds one late night. I wished there was a way to stuff him into my purse, too .
“Knock, knock,” I heard, whirling around to find Paisley, Trin, Brenna, Shaw, and Ro at the office door.
“I just sent you a text,” I said, frowning as I caught Brenna’s eye.
“Oh, I know,” she said. “And I get it. There’s only so many interviews a person can handle, and let’s face it, being here can’t be easy for you.”
I gave her a slow blink. What was with the one-eighty from how she’d been all week?
“Honestly,” she said, walking into the room, “I was getting sick of trying to be professional. For days now, all I’ve wanted to do is tell you how much this all sucks. And I’m sorry.”
She crossed the office and wrapped her arms around me. It took me a moment to settle into the hug. Paisley walked through the door too, throwing herself down in the armchair in the corner. Trin, Shaw, and Ro took the couch.
Brenna pulled away, and I swallowed hard. I’d barely gotten my tears under control, and I struggled to blink away a new wave.
“You don’t have to stay strong for us, girl,” Trin said. “We all know how hard you worked to help Finn make this movie all it could be. And the way he treated you at the screening was really shitty.”
I managed a watery smile. I’d already heard all this from Ro, who tilted her head as if to say See, I’m not the only one who agrees . “Thank you,” I said softly. “I appreciate the support. But what are you all doing here?”
“It’s your official last day of Every Day duties,” Ro said. “So Brenna invited us all down to say goodbye. Well, I’m going home with you, but you know what I mean. ”
“I thought someone should celebrate with you,” Brenna said. “And acknowledge all the hard work you did.”
“And I brought this!” Shaw added, producing a very large bottle of champagne from her purse.
“How the hell did you fit that in there?” Trin asked, gaping at her bag.
“If I pack this thing right, I can literally use it as a carry-on,” Shaw said, smirking. “Anyway, I was gifted this bottle on the first day of filming, and I’ve been saving it for the right occasion. This feels right.”
“That’s so sweet of you all. Though I can’t say I really feel like celebrating.” I wanted to go home, finish the family-size tub of ice cream I’d been working through these past two weeks, and watch reality TV with Ro.
“But you’ve accomplished so much here,” Brenna said, “and that’s worth at least one drink.”
Paisley reached for the bottle in Shaw’s hand and popped the cork with a thud, pouring out champagne into little plastic Dixie cups Shaw also produced from her purse.
“Seriously, is this like a Mary Poppins bag or what?” Trin asked. The group chuckled in response.
Paisley got to her feet, lifting her Dixie cup and clearing her throat.
“Okay, I just wanted to say that I’ve worked for a lot of costume designers in this business, and Sierra is hands down my favorite.
And I’m not just saying that because we’re friends or because I hope she’ll hire me again on her next project. ”
She raised her eyebrows. “I mean it. I’ve learned so much from you on every job we’ve worked together, not just about putting together costumes but about being the kind of person everyone wants to work with, and that’s meant the world to me. So, here’s to you. ”
She thrust her cup in my direction. “For helping us and inspiring us and reminding us that what really matters in life is having a good pair of fabric scissors.”
I laughed, getting up to knock my cup against hers. “I’m not sure I’ve really taught you much of anything this time, but I’ll take it.”
“Well, I learned that Kaiden is a horrible kisser,” Shaw said, her eyes widening as if she’d only just realized she said that out loud.
“Oh, girl, spill!” Trin demanded as I snickered into my cup.
“There’s just a lot of teeth clacking,” she said, wrinkling her nose. “Kind of what I imagine kissing a horse would be like.”
Trin howled.
“But,” Shaw continued, “more than that, I’ve learned not to throw costumes into the washing machine. I’ll leave that to the professionals.”
Paisley raised her glass in salute. “Shreadageddon. Gone but not forgotten.”
“I guess I’ve learned not to fly too close to the sun,” I said thoughtfully.
“Wanting recognition and awards is all well and good in this business, but maybe sometimes it’s better to just fly under the radar.
To do this job I love without adding a bunch of stress and pressure on top.
” This would certainly be the last fake engagement I’d ever agree to.
“I’m just glad you finally realized you had wings,” Ro said. “That you believed in yourself enough to fight for our movie, and that you had enough self-respect to stand up to Finn instead of settling for less than you deserve. Because you deserve respect and love, Sierra.”
“I think we all deserve at least that much,” I said, my throat tight.
“Hear hear!” Paisley said, and we drank to that until the bottle was empty.