58. Sean
58
SEAN
T he past few days had been tough.
When Chloe had texted me, letting me know what she saw when she returned home, I’d had a bad feeling.
I was relieved that Henry was fine, but Chloe seemed to partly shut down, refusing to talk for longer than a minute over the phone.
During this, I’d pulled off a major acquisition that I’d long hoped would one day define my legacy.
I’d successfully navigated merging Tassater with Hathwell Textiles.
Now, I could expand the Tassater empire into new territories.
But when I shook hands with the CEO of Hathwell, rejoicing on our deal and the millions this would bring in to the company, I felt nothing.
No joy, no exhilaration, nothing.
When Chloe wasn’t with me, my life seemed dull, the happiness ebbing away.
And now?
Work had become completely meaningless when our fate seemed to hang in the balance.
It had been three days since Chloe had spent the night with me, after we discussed moving in to this new apartment together.
I’d finally convinced her to meet me, and she’d agreed to come to the penthouse.
I paced the living room, waiting for her.
The place was bare, and a few days ago, I’d imagined how Chloe would like to decorate it.
Now, I tried to convince myself that this was still a possibility.
When the elevator doors opened, I watched eagerly, like a starved dog, while Chloe walked in.
Before I’d met her, I thought I was happy.
I knew better now. I knew that being with her made me happy beyond my wildest dreams. I’d always wanted to guard myself from falling in love, but now, I embraced it.
I was done protecting myself.
“How are you?” was the first question out of my lips when Chloe took a step inside the penthouse.
I’d clocked her somber mood as soon as she walked in.
Her blond hair was down to her shoulders, and her expression, when she met my gaze, was one of vulnerability.
The image of her went straight to my heart, and I enveloped her in a hug.
She rested her head on my chest briefly, holding me tight.
She smelled sweet and looked so beautiful.
The irrational part of me wanted to trace every curve on her body with my lips.
I settled for kissing her.
God, how I’d missed her the past few days.
“I’ve missed you too,” Chloe murmured, leaving her forehead on my chest for a moment before she stepped back.
I took her hand in mine, and she let me, following me back to the couch.
We sat down, and she didn’t snuggle up to me like she usually did.
I ran my fingers over the back of her hand, asking her questions about Henry while she answered.
I took a clearer view of her as she spoke, noticing she looked a little strained and her voice was unsteady.
Finally, when she finished filling me in, she looked at me.
Silence stretched, and the two of us continued to gaze at each other.
She reached into her handbag and drew out the key fob I’d given her days ago.
She reached over and put it in my hand.
My heart sank even before she could utter the words.
“Sean,” she said, her voice breaking.
I could see the pain etched on her features.
“It’s time we end things.”
I stared at the key fob, my heart hammering with the speed of a hundred horses.
“Is this about what happened to Henry?” I asked at last.
“Henry got hurt because I wasn’t around. Again. I can’t risk that happening in the future.”
“So, you can’t risk having a love life anymore?”
She nodded.
“I tried it. It was wonderful while it lasted, but I don’t see us going ahead with this. Not when my responsibility is toward Henry.”
I barked a short, bitter laugh.
“So, you’re breaking up with me? I was afraid of that,” I admitted.
“Which was why I hoped to convince you we could still make something of the two of us. I thought having you and Henry move in to the same building would give you the best of both worlds. And it would give me what I wanted the most—you.”
She looked at me, tears in her eyes.
“I never really needed anything from you, Sean, except for you . Your time. Your presence. This large penthouse was never one of my expectations from you. Nor your money or things that the money can buy.”
She raked her fingers through her hair, looking troubled.
“Sean, darling, I’ve seen you provide for many people—from your son to your half-sister and mom. But I need nothing from you. I don’t want this gift of a new penthouse.”
I walked over to the windows, looking down at the busy streets below us.
After the scare from a few nights ago, Henry was doing fine.
Life should have gone on.
She should have been in love with the idea by now, in love with me, enough that we should be rejoicing.
We should be celebrating with laughter, champagne, and sex by that window instead of having a serious discussion.
“Chloe, I love you, and I want to take care of you. This is my way of taking care of you.”
“Well, I don’t need it, Sean. I’m happy in my apartment.”
The words hit me in the gut like a brick.
She hadn’t said she loved me.
She never had.
Resentment and anger burned in me.
She was rejecting me and my gifts.
I turned away. She didn’t need me or my money.
That much was clear.
Call me a caveman, but providing was the role I felt most adept at, most suited to.
If she took that role away from me, she left me with nothing.
The same feeling I’d felt when my mom left and dad was silent for days on end.
I wanted to rage, to shoot back some of this hurt, to pretend like she didn’t matter.
Like none of this mattered to me.
In reality, I wasn’t used to being the one who was hurt.
The old Sean would’ve hurt the woman back.
But I couldn’t do that to Chloe.
“Chloe, this is me using my resources to take care of the people I love. Whether it’s my son, my half-sister, or you. Providing is my role in relationships. How can I lose you when you’re the reason I’m finally on better terms with my family? Give me a chance, Chloe.”
“I can’t,” she said, her voice breaking.
“I couldn’t take it if anything more happened to Henry. It’s hard enough for him already.”
“Isn’t it hard enough on you too?” I asked, walking up to her and taking her chin in my hand, forcing her to look at me.
“To always put yourself last? To put your needs as an afterthought?”
She stared at me, her lower lip shaking.
“It’s not hard,” she said in a tone that made my heart break.
“It’s not because I’ve gotten so used to it, Sean. It’s normal for me to put my needs last.”
I looked at her, feeling devastated and overwhelmed.
There were too many emotions swirling in my chest, and I didn’t know how to process it.
Well, I did. I’d throw money at it, but Chloe had barred me from doing that.
So, I was now lost.
She made a strange sound that was halfway between a sob and a sarcastic laugh.
“Look at me. I was such a fool for thinking I could have a loving relationship. In reality, I can’t. I can’t ever know what it is like to truly love someone with all the pain I’m carrying around. With all the guilt I’m carrying around. If I left Henry for you, I’d just add to my guilt. He risked his life to save me, and he took the hit himself. An incident for which he still pays for every single day . And then I have the gall to think I can desert him again when our father did it once already. I have nothing left to give, Sean, so please let me go.”
How the fuck did one make sense of all these emotions when your hands were tied?
“If I let you go, Chloe, it’s giving up. I don’t want us to give up. I want to fight for us. Because what I feel with you, for you, is something I thought I’d never experience in my life.”
“Don’t ask me for that, Sean. Don’t ask me for anything more because I have nothing left in me to give you. Nothing.”
With that, she grabbed her purse and walked out of our shiny new penthouse.