Chapter 32
Riley
Itook a sip of coffee, grimacing when the familiar chime of my mother’s text broke the quiet. It was just after five thirty in the morning, and panic washed over me. She never texted this early.
I grabbed my phone, scanning the text as a fist squeezed my heart.
Mom
Sweetie, I know you usually send extra money on Thursday, but can you send it to us today? We’re low on groceries.
I sagged against the counter, my relief quickly turning to guilt at the thought of my parents going without food. I glanced at the closed bathroom door before replying.
Riley
Sorry, Mom. I won’t have any extra until tomorrow.
Mom
Are you sure you can’t send some today? We’re short on food.
Riley
I won’t get paid until tomorrow, but I’ll send it as soon as I have it. Love you.
I waited for her reply, but she hadn’t replied by the time Deacon came out of the bathroom. I shoved my phone into my robe pocket and smiled at him. “Do you want a coffee before you go?”
He shook his head, bending to kiss me. “No time. It snowed again last night, so it’ll take me longer to get home.”
“Sorry,” I said.
“Worth it,” he said with a wink before grabbing my coffee from the counter and taking a sip.
I poked his flat stomach. “I thought you didn’t have time for a coffee.”
“Not my own, but yours, sure,” he said.
My phone chimed with another text from my mom. My stomach churning, I said, “Hey, um, you haven’t booked me for our usual Wednesday night.”
Deacon paused with my coffee cup halfway to his mouth. Hurt flashed across his face, and my churning stomach got worse. He stepped away and set the mug on the counter.
He stared at me, the hurt still stamped across his face - the hurt I’d caused. “You want me to book you for tonight?”
My voice pitched high with nerves, I said, “Well, I mean… you usually do, so I thought that…”
The terrible silence between us grew thicker, and I would have done fucking anything to take back what I said.
But that was impossible, so I tried to fix it as best I could. “Sorry, that was… I mean… you don’t have to book me for tonight.”
“But if I don’t, you’ll book with someone else, right?” he said.
No, I wanted to scream. No, I wouldn’t - I couldn’t - because I’m in love with you. Don’t you see that?
But my mother’s face blurred my vision and closed up my throat, and before I could say anything, a mask dropped over his face, erasing that hurt in a way I never wanted.
Deacon was gone, leaving a stranger in his place.
He pulled his phone from his pocket and tapped briskly on the keyboard before giving me a brittle smile. “I’ve sent in the booking request. See you at the office, Riley.”
He brushed a kiss as cold as the winter wind against my cheek and left.
* * *
Deacon
I pacedthe length of my office, glancing out the window at the snow falling before checking my watch for what felt like the hundredth time.
I’d fucked up with Riley yesterday. She’d asked about booking for the week, and I’d been a dick about it. I knew she asked about the booking because she needed the money, and I’d still been an asshole to her.
So much so that she’d rejected my booking request. I hadn’t checked messages until after five, and the sisters’ brief text that Riley was unavailable had rocked me to my core. I’d jumped up from my desk and nearly ran to Riley’s desk, but she was already gone for the day.
I should have called her immediately. Instead, anger and hurt simmering in my guts, I told myself I didn’t care if she’d booked with someone else and gone home.
Of course, that attitude had disappeared right around one this morning when I was still lying sleepless in bed, picturing Riley on her knees for another man, imagining her being someone else’s good girl. And I had no one to blame but myself for Riley playing with another.
I continued to pace, the hot jealousy throbbing and burning in my gut. I needed to talk to Riley, but the office was neither the time nor the place for it. So, why was I straining to hear every little sound outside my office, wondering if that was Riley at her desk?
There was a knock on my door before it opened, and Riley stepped in. She’d gotten in the habit of bringing me a coffee every morning, and she smiled tentatively as she carried the mug to my desk. “Good morning, Mr. Cross.”
“Good morning.” I sounded almost feral.
Chewing on her bottom lip, she set the mug down and hurried toward the door. I crossed the room in five large strides, shutting the door with the palm of my hand just as she reached it. She turned, staring at me with wide eyes as I backed her up against the door. I braced my hands on either side of her head, penning her in.
She stared silently at me, her body straight and still while mine shook like crazy. Christ, she smelled so good. Her bottom lip was still caught in her teeth and, my hand trembling, I tugged lightly on it with my thumb, popping it free before rubbing the pad of my thumb across that deliciously soft lower lip.
“Who were you a good girl for last night?” I sounded weird, even to myself. A combination of anger, jealousy, and a desire so deep I was fucking drowning in it.
She blinked at me. “Wh-what?”
I leaned closer, and her pupils dilated as she stared at my mouth. I brushed my lips against hers, pulling back before I could give in to my urge to deepen it. “Who did you kneel for last night, Riley? It wasn’t me, so who was it?”
“No one,” she said.
Now, it was my turn to stare at her in shock. “What?”
“I didn’t book with someone else,” she said. I could see a spark of anger in her pretty brown eyes. “I wouldn’t do that, Deacon.”
“You need the money,” I said.
Shame flickered in her eyes before she gave me a strained smile. “Yes, I do. But I don’t want to be someone else’s good girl. I want to be yours and only yours.”
“Mine,” I said.
“Yes.”
I sucked in a harsh breath. “Then why did you say no to the booking?”
“Because you didn’t want to do it, and,” she paused, “I hurt your feelings when I asked you to make a booking for last night. I’m sorry.”
“Fuck,” I growled, “Riley, stop apologizing. You did nothing wrong. I was an asshole.”
“Kind of,” she said with a small smile.
“I’m sorry,” I said. “I’m sorry for making you feel bad and for making you feel like your debt defines you. It doesn’t, Riley.”
“Thank you,” she said. “I appreciate your apology.”
I slipped an arm around her waist and pulled her against me, burying my face in her hair. To my fucking relief, she hugged me back, her body soft and supple against mine. She kissed my jaw, and I turned my head to kiss her properly, sliding my tongue into her mouth as she clung to my shoulders and made those soft sounds I loved.
We broke apart, and she took a shuddering breath. “God, you’re a good kisser.”
“So are you,” I said.
“Thank you. But I need to get back to work before my boss yells at me for making out with him on company time,” she teased.
I grinned, still feeling a little shaky about how close I’d come to losing her. “I think he’ll make an exception for you.”
She smiled but pulled away, squeezing my arm before she reached for the door. I caught her hand. “Riley, I want to book you for tonight.”
“You don’t have to do that,” she said. “Deacon, I’m not expecting -”
“I know,” I said. “I want to do this.”
She looked at me disbelievingly, and I said, “I’m serious, Riley. I want to continue our weekly bookings, okay? But I’d also like to spend time with you outside the bookings.”
“I’d like that too,” she said softly.
“Okay,” I said. “Then let me book you for tonight.”
“Some of the other admin staff and I are going to see Lina and the baby tonight,” she said. “I really can’t cancel.”
“Tomorrow night, then,” I said.
“Are you sure?” she asked.
“Yes,” I said. “I’m happy to do it.”
“Okay, Friday works for me,” Riley said.
“Perfect.” I gave her another quick kiss before palming her ass.
She grinned at me and tugged my hand away. “Behave, Mr. Cross.”
“Never, Ms. Gates.”
She laughed and put a little extra wiggle in her hips as she left my office. I returned to my desk and immediately sent in a request for Riley for both Friday night and Sunday afternoon. The anger and the jealousy had completely disappeared, and even the exhaustion from a sleepless night had diminished a bit.
Riley wanted to be with me as much as I wanted to be with her. It wasn’t just about the money for her. She cared for me and wanted to spend time with me outside the agency.
Are you sure? She didn’t say she cared for you. Eloise spent some time with you outside the agency, too, remember? Kept you on the hook just enough for you to stay willing to keep booking her. Maybe Riley is doing the same thing.
I ignored the unease creeping in. Riley wasn’t like Eloise. She just wasn’t. It was natural to have some trepidation, but I wasn’t making the same mistake with Riley. She was falling for me as hard as I was falling for her.