Chapter 33
Riley
Ipulled on my boots and took another sip of coffee. My stomach grumbled with hunger, but I ignored it and dumped the rest of my coffee down the sink before sticking the mug in the dishwasher.
It was snowing again, and I needed to leave in the next two minutes to make it to work on time. I glanced out the window, anxiety biting at my stomach. Driving to and from Deacon’s tonight would be terrible if it didn”t stop snowing. Not that it would stop me. It had only been two nights, but I missed him and didn’t care if there was a blizzard. Nothing would prevent me from being in his arms tonight.
My phone rang, and I grabbed it out of my purse. That familiar fear gripped me when I saw my father’s number.
“Hi, Dad. Everything okay?”
“Not really. Your mom is in the hospital.”
“Oh God.” My legs turned to jelly, and I staggered to the couch, falling onto it with a heavy thump. “What happened?”
“She’s having some chest pains. The doctors are worried, and so am I.”
“Oh, Dad,” I said, fighting not to cry. “She’ll be okay. She’s tough.”
“She is.” He cleared his throat roughly. “I’ve quit my job. She’s so scared, and she wants me with her at the hospital. I know you’ve stopped sending us extra money, but we need it more than ever now.”
Shock washed over me. “You quit your job? They wouldn’t give you a few days off?”
“No, Riley, they wouldn’t.” Anger tinged his voice. “Do you think I should be working when your mother is alone and frightened in the hospital?”
“No,” I said. “That isn’t what I’m saying.”
He sighed. “Look, I made the right decision. Your mom is terrified and needs my support, and it’s not like you’re here in California to help us.”
“I know,” I said as familiar guilt rolled over me. “I’m glad she has you, Dad.”
“Can you send us some extra?” he asked.
“I can send it tomorrow,” I said. “I have a shift with my, um, second job tonight.”
“Your usual amount?”
“Yes. I’ll Venmo it to you first thing on Saturday.”
He hesitated, and I said, “What? What’s wrong?”
“That might not be enough now that I’m not working. Could you ask for an advance on your paycheque from those accountants you work for?”
“Financial advisors,” I said. “I work for a financial advising company.”
“Right, right,” he said. “Can you ask them for an advance?”
“Not really,” I said uneasily. “If I give you my paycheque, I won’t have enough to pay my rent.”
There was silence on the other end, and he said, “Okay, so what about your 401k? You’ve got plenty in there, right? You could take some from it.”
“I mean, I have some, but that’s for the future and -”
“Oh, right, of course, you have to worry about your future, Riley. Never mind that your mother and I are fighting to keep her alive so she can have a future.”
I swiped at the hot tears sliding down my cheeks. “Okay, I’ll look into it, but I’m pretty sure I won’t be able to pull anything from it in the next few days. But, I can, um…”
I thought quickly. I could ask Deacon if he would book an overnight play session with me tonight. He’d offered to do it before, so I was sure he’d be okay with it. I’d take a few days off - Deacon barely needed me right now since they were so busy with year end - and I’d use some of the money I earned Friday night for a cheap flight to California. I could look after Mom while Dad worked.
“Riley? Are you still there?”
“Yes,” I said. “Dad, I have a plan. I’ll pick up an, uh, overnight shift tonight, which will give me more money. I’ll take a week of holiday and book a cheap flight to California with some of the money. I can stay with Mom at the hospital while you work, so you don’t have to quit.”
“You can’t drop everything and leave work,” my dad said.
“No, I can. My boss is really great and understanding, and it’s not busy right now. It’s perfect timing, actually. I’ll book my flight tomorrow and -”
“No,” Dad said. “You shouldn’t come out here.”
“Why not?” I asked.
“One, I’ve already quit my job, and they’re not going to hire me back, so we’d both just be at the hospital with your mother, and two, your mother, well… she looks terrible right now, Riley. She’s very thin and sick looking. It’s why she hasn’t video chatted with you. She doesn’t want to worry you.”
“Okay, but I want to help and -”
“If you want to help, send us as much money as possible,” Dad said. “We can use it for expenses while I look after your mom.”
“I’m worried about you both,” I said softly. “It would be good for you to have a break as a caretaker, and I miss you and want to see you both. I don’t care if Mom doesn’t look healthy.”
“If you want to be a good daughter to her, then you’ll send money and not make her feel like she has to be happy and doing well, which she will do if you’re here,” my dad said. “She thinks she has to put on a brave face for you, Rye.”
“She doesn’t,” I said.
“You and I know that, but you know your mom.” My dad sighed again. “Look, can you just send us whatever you get from your second job and look into the 401k thing? I have to go, kiddo. Your mom needs me.”
“I’ll call you tomorrow morning, okay?” I said.
“Sure, sure,” he said. “Just call once you’ve sent the money. If your mom is awake, you can chat with her.”
“Okay, love you, Dad.”
“Love you, Riley.”
He ended the call, and I stared blankly at the falling snow before jumping to my feet and grabbing my purse. As I locked my apartment and headed downstairs, I tried to soothe the panic that held me in a tight grip. My mom would be fine. She was at the hospital, and they would give her antibiotics. I would talk to her tomorrow and convince her to let me come out to help her.
* * *
Deacon
I checkedthe time before looking out my office window. The driveway was empty, and I ignored my anxiety. Riley wasn’t due to arrive for our play session for another fifteen minutes, and I had no reason to suspect she wouldn’t show up, so why the fuck was I so jittery?
Maybe because you know something’s wrong? She acted off all day at the office.
I’d seen her a limited amount today, but the few times I’d seen her, she’d had a pinched look of worry that she couldn’t quite conceal.
A door slammed, and I turned back to the window, watching with relief as Riley locked her car and walked toward the house. I told myself to wait where I was, to wait for my good girl to kneel in the office, but I kept seeing her pinched look of worry. It wouldn’t hurt to check in with her that everything was okay before we started our play session.
I headed down the stairs. Riley was hanging her jacket in the closet, and she glanced up and smiled at me. “Hi, you.”
“Hi,” I said. I joined her and hesitated briefly before pulling her to me for a hug. She smelled like snow and her unique scent, and I buried my face in her throat for a few seconds.
“How were the roads?”
“Fine,” she said. “Are you okay?”
“Yes.” I leaned back and smoothed her hair from her face. “Are you?”
She smiled, but it was a little bit off. “I’m good. Just surprised you’re meeting me downstairs.”
“I wanted to check in with you before we start. You seemed stressed at the office today.”
“I’m good. Just a little tired,” she said.
“You sure?”
“Yes.” She pressed a kiss against my mouth. “I’m good, Deacon.”
“Okay. Let’s go upstairs then, good girl.”
She smiled as I linked our fingers but gave my hand a quick tug. “Hey, before we start, I wanted to ask if I can stay the night.”
Warmth rushed over me. “Of course. I’d like that.”
She nibbled at her bottom lip. “Would you be willing to book an overnight visit through the agency?”
Shock turned me to stone. I stared at her as a myriad of emotions rattled through me - disbelief, hurt, and… fury.
I dropped her hand as that fury grew stronger. I’d been played again. Riley was exactly like Eloise, and I’d fallen for it like the fucking love-struck fool I was.
“Deacon?” Riley gave me a hesitant look. “Do you -”
“You want me to pay you to stay the night,” I said.
She winced. “I know how that sounds, but -”
“You spent an entire weekend with me and didn’t want to be paid,” I said, my voice hollow and distant.
“I know,” she said, “and I wouldn’t ask if it wasn’t -”
“This was your plan all along, huh?” I said as that terrible rage grew brighter. “Get me used to having you for free, and then when you know I can’t fucking live without you, you want money.”
“That isn’t it at all,” she said quickly.
“You’re exactly like Eloise.” I shoved my hand through my hair. “I can’t believe I fell for it again. Christ, you know what? I shouldn’t even be mad at you - good for you for playing the con so well. Hell, if this hadn’t happened to me before, I would have fallen for it because that’s how fucking far gone I am for you. I would have happily paid for the privilege of fucking you because you’ve got me fucking wrapped around your baby finger. I actually thought you cared for me. But it’s just been about the money for you.”
“No, it isn’t.” She reached for my hand, and I yanked away from her grip as that bright rage faded, leaving only a sick weariness that throbbed dully in my chest.
Her eyes brimming with tears, Riley said, “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have asked you to… let’s start over, okay? We can do our normal play session, all right? Just the two hours and nothing more. If you want me to leave after, I will, but I can stay too. And I’ll stay because I want to be with you, not because of the money or -”
“Stop it,” I said. “Just fucking stop, Riley.”
“Deacon,” she said, her mouth trembling and tears sliding down her cheeks, “the reason I need the money is because -”
“I don’t care why you need the money,” I snapped. “It isn’t about the money. It’s about you not being honest with me from the start that this was about the money for you and nothing else. It’s about you thinking you could… could get more from me by pretending to care for me, by spending time with me and then asking for more goddamn money.”
“I do care for you, and that isn’t what I meant to do,” she said. “Spending time with you outside of our play sessions wasn’t meant to be a trap or to trick you into anything. I swear. I like being with you, Deacon. I need to be with you, okay?”
“You need to leave.” I opened the closet and shoved her jacket into her hands. “I’ll let the sisters know we didn’t play tonight.”
Panic fluttered in her face, and I hated that even after she’d fucking stomped on my goddamn heart, seeing her fear made me want to protect her, hold her, and tell her everything would be okay.
“Leave, Riley,” I snarled. “I don’t want you here.”
Her face white and her eyes huge, she said, “I’ll go, but I’ll come a little early on Sunday, and we can talk before our play session, okay? I’ll explain why -”
I barked bitter laughter. “Are you fucking kidding me? We are done, Riley. I am never playing with you again. Find someone else to play with at the agency.”
“You don’t mean that,” she said. “I’m your good girl, Deacon.”
“No,” I said, my stomach twisting and turning like a tornado. “You’re not.”
She clapped a hand over her mouth, muffling her sob before yanking open the door. She ran outside, and I slammed the door shut before pounding my fist against it.
“Fuck!”