Chapter Fourteen
Jaxon
“Taking Theo to the dinner tonight?” Lila stood at the doorway to my office as I closed down my computer.
“Yep. You’ll be there with Chris?”
“Sure will. Not at the big guns table, though.” Her laugh rang out. “We’re in the back by the exit.”
“Lucky you. Easier to sneak out.” I wasn’t kidding. Being a small fish had its perks. The only benefit this year would be having Theo there with me.
Theo, who’d gotten hit on by some guy at the clothes store. Theo, who seemed very adamant that this could not go anywhere. And I had no idea why that bothered me.
“It’ll be your first event together. I anticipate lots of disappointed men.”
“Get out of here.” I waved her off. “Catch you later.”
Martin put in his two cents before he left. “George Winston will be there, watching your every move.”
“I’m sure he will be, and I’m ready for him. Theo will be right by my side all night.”
“He must be very proud of you winning those awards.”
I gave him an absent-minded smile.
“Mm-hmm. I’ll see you tomorrow.”
**
We walked into the ballroom, and as I took Theo’s hand in mine, he squeezed it.
“Don’t worry. I’m not going to say no. I understand the assignment.”
“Good, because be prepared.” I entwined our fingers. “Here comes Judge McCourt. We met him at The Cutting Edge.”
“I remember.”
“Jaxon, how are you? Congratulations on the awards. And hello to you, Theo. This is my wife, Alison.”
“Nice to meet you, Mrs. McCourt. This is my date, Theo Sweeny.”
Theo smiled at them both. “Hello, Your Honor. Mrs. McCourt.”
“Lovely to meet you. Please call me Alison. Jaxon, I’m happy to finally put a face to the name. Sandy has been talking about you for a while now. Only good things, of course.”
“Thank you. Always glad to hear.”
“Well, they don’t give the Trailblazer and the Excellence in the Courtroom awards to just anyone. Congratulations, Jaxon. Very impressive. It’ll look good on the campaign trail.” Judge McCourt shook my hand a second time. “See you later on.”
When they were out of earshot, Theo tugged on my hand.
“Why didn’t you tell me you were getting two awards? That’s amazing. Congratulations. What is the Trailblazer award for?” His face beamed bright, but I tried to downplay it.
“Thanks. It’s for my work with gay rights.”
“Why did you keep it a secret?”
“I didn’t. My staff knows.” I acknowledged passersby with a wave and a nod.
“That’s not what I mean, and I th-think you know that.” Theo’s annoyance was unexpected and spiked my own.
“Why? I’m trying to keep my distance, like you asked.”
“That’s not—”
“Hello, you two.” The way-too-hearty voice of George Winston cut off Theo’s answer.
“George.” I acknowledged him with a dip of my head.
“H-hello,” Theo muttered. We still held hands, but the tension in his fingers was tangible.
George’s shrewd gaze assessed us. “Everything all right?”
“Of course. We were contemplating which bar has the shortest line.” Even to me, my voice sounded a little too hearty. And George was a damn good attorney and quick at picking up body language—a skill one acquired after years in a courtroom.
“Good to see you again, Theo. Took the night off?”
“Y-yes. I have someone covering for me.”
“I’m sure you do. You’re a smart businessman.” His regard switched to me. I could see the gleam in his eyes and braced myself. “Are your folks here, Jaxon?”
“No,” I clipped, and Theo increased the pressure of his fingers on mine. “We’d better—”
“You didn’t invite them even though you’re getting two awards?” A cunning smile thinned George’s lips. “I recall they didn’t come to your victory party when you were elected or to your swearing-in either.”
My heart beat faster, and sweat trickled down my spine.
I wasn’t sure where the hell this line of questioning was heading.
George obviously had an agenda, and I might not know what it was, but if he thought he could rattle me, he didn’t know me at all.
I’d been preparing all my life for this moment.
“You’re correct.”
Surprising me, Theo put his arm around my waist as he said, “We’ll see you later. We need to find our table and get a drink.”
Without waiting for George’s response, Theo pulled me along until we found a quiet corner.
“What was that about?” Theo’s concern was natural—he was a caring guy. But he’d made it clear there was a wall between us, and if he could hide behind his side, I would do the same.
“Nothing. He’s trying to get under my skin and dig for information.”
I smiled at some of the attorneys passing us by. This conversation was causing me stress when I needed to be calm and poised. George Winston would use whatever bows in his quiver to take a shot at me. Through the heart, if possible.
“I don’t believe you.”
“Well, that’s not my problem,” I snapped and immediately regretted it. “I-I’m sorry. My family isn’t something I talk about. Ever.”
“Maybe you should. I’m a good listener.”
As sincere as Theo was, this would require a level of intimacy I hadn’t anticipated.
“It’s fine. Don’t worry about it. Let’s get a drink.”
“I don’t think so.” Theo thrust out his jaw. “I’m gonna go.”
“What? Why?”
“I’m not enjoying myself. I’d rather be at home watching television.”
“Me too. I hate these stupid events, but I have to be here.” He turned to leave. Alarmed, I put a hand on his arm to stop him. “Please…Theo, please don’t go.”
“You know about my past—my dad, how I felt at school…all that stuff. What if I meet someone who knows you and they ask me questions? I might have never had a boyfriend, but if we’re dating, shouldn’t I know about your family? You said we’d talk.”
“We did. I told you—”
“Nothing,” he snapped. “You were reciting your bio, with a few minor extras sprinkled in. I know little more about you now than before we started this…this charade.” He waved a hand between us.
Damn. Gone was meek and mild Theo. A stubborn, fiery streak was coming to light more often, and I couldn’t deny that it did it for me. Even if it caught me off guard.
“Yes, of course.” We stood staring at each other until the announcement came to take our seats. “Will you please come sit with me? I…I promise we can talk later.”
“Okay.”
Relief poured through me, and I slid my arm around his shoulders. “Let’s go have some rubber chicken.”
Dinner went smoothly, and Theo clapped loudly and furiously as I walked up on stage to accept my awards. Unfortunately, George Winston was also seated at our table and had maneuvered himself into the seat next to Theo. I chewed softly and strained to hear their conversation.
“How did you and Jax meet? Does he spend a lot of time at Sweeny’s?”
Bastard. I recognized his implication—that I sat every night at a bar drinking.
“No. It’s not like that at all,” Theo said firmly in his quiet way that made people listen. “I first noticed him when he prosecuted those drug cases. I thought he was very strong and determined. And persuasive. It was all over the news.”
“Hmm.” George took a bite of his chicken, and I could tell he wasn’t fully convinced. “So how did you connect? As far as I know, Jax was with Judge Porter’s law clerk not long ago.”
“Actually, that’s not true. We’d been running into each other in town—Marvin’s General Store, the Blue Bird Diner—seeing him with Craig that night, I realized I liked him too much, so I asked him out.”
I bent my head to prevent Theo and George from seeing my lips twitch. Who knew Theo had it in him?
I liked it.
The rest of the evening was, as anticipated, boring as hell, except for the one time I persuaded Theo to dance with me. It was a slow song, and I snagged my arm around his waist and held him close.
“I can’t dance,” Theo protested. “I’ll look like a fool.”
“You’re the furthest thing from that. Now relax,” I murmured as we swayed. “This isn’t Dancing with the Stars. No one is grading you.”
He rewarded me with a shy smile and rested his head on my shoulder. The weight of him filled that empty space inside me, and I pressed my lips against his hair. Sandy, long lashes fluttered shut, and I wanted the song to last forever.
The music ended and I reluctantly released him, but we remained in each other’s arms.
“That was nice. Really nice,” Theo said to me.
“I agree. I think we can leave now. What do you say?”
Theo nibbled that luscious bottom lip between his white teeth and nodded.
“Okay.”
I caught his hand in mine and laced our fingers together. Ignoring the penetrating gaze of George Winston, I searched the tables for Judge McCourt.
“I have to say good-bye to the judge and his wife before we go.”
“Yeah. They’re right over there.”
Theo pointed at a table, and we walked to them, but I had to chuckle as we approached. “Best table in the house. A clear path to the door.”
“And here I thought I was being smart,” Judge McCourt replied. “Good to see you both again. Jaxon, I saw you’ll be at the Criminal Court Conference in Fort Lauderdale next month.”
“Yes, I’m on a panel with several other DAs.”
Sandy’s lips quirked. “You and George, battling for the limelight.”
“I don’t battle for it. It finds me.”
“As long as it’s positive, Jaxon.” Sandy wagged a finger at me. “That’s what it’s all about these days.”
Alison McCourt addressed Theo. “They have get-togethers for spouses and partners. I hope you’re planning to come as well.”
“I-I don’t know…” Theo darted a questioning glance at me. “I haven’t made a decision.”
“We’re going to talk about it tonight,” I said. “Have a wonderful rest of the evening.”
We retrieved our coats, and after handing the valet my ticket, waited inside the double doors, escaping the frosty air.
Theo pulled on his gloves and tightened the scarf under his chin.
Dark red waves tumbled around his face, accentuating his fair skin.
A smattering of golden freckles dotted his nose and cheeks.
“Florida? For how many days?”
Did his questions mean he wanted to come with me? Instinctively, I knew I had to take it slow.
“The weekend. Friday through Sunday. There’s my car.” I gave the kid a five-dollar bill and shut the door. Theo settled in next to me. “You’re staying at mine, right?” We’d discussed it, but I couldn’t be sure he hadn’t changed his mind.
“Yeah,” he replied softly. “You said we’re going to talk.”
“I remember.”
My stomach clenched, but I maintained a calm exterior. I couldn’t lose it on the highway. When we reached my condo, I parked in the garage, and the concierge greeted me.
“Evening, Jaxon.”
“Hey, Lars. This is Theo Sweeny.”
“Hi.”
Recognition dawned in Lars’s eyes. “You own Sweeny’s. I’m there every Sunday on my day off to watch the game. Great wings.”
“Thanks.” Theo’s smile was tentative.
“Night.” I led Theo by his elbow to the elevator banks. “You look surprised that Sweeny’s is very popular.” The elevator doors slid open, and we entered the cab. “You’re a good businessman. I can tell the changes you’ve made the past few years have helped.”
He lifted a shoulder. “Just trying to modernize. My father was pretty stuck in his old ways.”
“Change can be good sometimes.”
Inside my apartment, we shed our coats, scarves, and gloves. With a sigh of relief, I kicked off my loafers and undid my tie. The suit jacket got tossed over the back of a barstool. Duffel bag in hand, Theo remained standing. I quirked a brow.
“Aren’t you going to make yourself comfortable?” I stretched and rolled my shoulders. “It’s pretty early, want a drink? I have tea, coffee—”
“No, thanks.”
I watched him set the bag on the floor, remove his shoes, and leave them by the door before slipping off his suit jacket. But then he held on to it.
“Just put it here, by mine. Come on, Theo. Sit.”
After doing it, Theo lowered himself onto the sectional. I took a seat by his side, and he met my gaze with sympathy in those wide green eyes.
“Why don’t you want to talk about your parents?”
I’d hidden that part of my life for so many years that shining a light on it scared the hell out of me.
One thing I’d learned about Theo was that he didn’t mince words or play games.
He was straightforward and expected people to be the same with him.
If I wanted this to work, I had no choice but to open up.
“I didn’t know my father. I’m not sure my mother even knew who got her pregnant.
From what I heard growing up, my mother was beautiful but ‘wild,’ ” I said, using air quotes.
“Granny was religious and strict, so you can imagine a rebellious teenage girl used sex as her way of retaliating at that way of life. I shared a room with her and grew up with the sounds of my mother and her boyfriend of the night having sex. She’d sneak them into the house at night after Granny went to sleep and threatened me with spankings if I told anyone. ”
My voice sounded so very far away, and maybe it was. I was once again in that tiny room, hearing the squeak of the bed and the sounds they made. I could feel her hot tequila and cigarette breath in my face, snarling at me to shut up or she’d smack me.
Theo moved closer. “Jaxon, I’m so sorry.”
“I heard and saw things no child should. One night she was with this guy—an older man. I knew he was bad from the way he spoke to her. After they were sleeping, I peeked out from under my pillow and saw a gun and knives on the floor next to his pants. When I woke up, they were gone, and I never saw her again.”
I didn’t realize Theo had his arms around me or his cheek pressed to my own until our tears mixed.
“I was only six years old.”
“That’s so traumatic. I can’t imagine how you felt.”
“I can’t either, because I didn’t feel a damn thing. I was a piece of ice. After that, nothing mattered. Upon finding out she died, my grandmother said, “Good,” and opened her Bible reading. From that moment on, every decision I made was calculated to get me out of that environment.”
“Where’s your grandmother now?” Theo asked and wiped his eyes.
“She died while I was in law school. I had her buried next to my grandfather, and that was the last time I set foot in my hometown.” I gazed up at the ceiling.
“You can see why I keep my past private. If George Winston got wind of this, he’d twist it somehow to hurt me.
” I hadn’t even gotten to the disaster of my love affair, but maybe I wouldn’t have to.
Theo stroked my hand. “That’s so terrible. I’m so sorry, Jaxon. But your past isn’t your fault. You’re not responsible for your family’s mistakes.”
“You understand. Your mom left too.”
“Yeah. But I can understand why. She couldn’t live with a bully like my dad. She saved herself.”
I pulled him to my chest. “She left you. That was wrong. You’re important. You come first.”
“She probably couldn’t take me with her.” His voice shook. “I…I don’t want to talk about it.”
Whether Theo believed me or not, we were two sides of the same coin. I would never have believed we could be so alike. I wanted to comfort him. Show him he deserved everything good and kind in the world. But I was neither.
“Then we won’t. How about this instead?”
My lips settled over his, and he moaned, opening his mouth to the push of my tongue.