Chapter Fifteen
Theo
Seeing Jaxon’s tears fall broke my heart. No child should have to go through what he’d suffered.
My story didn’t compare—at least in my opinion—but having him bring up my mother’s abandonment made me desperate to stop him from talking. I just didn’t know how.
But he did.
I knew I’d insisted we not become intimate, but the touch of his lips incinerated all coherent thought from my brain.
His tongue stroked mine, leisurely at first, stoking a fire to life inside me where I’d been cold and barren.
I gripped his shoulders while his large hands splayed across my back, anchoring me in place as he took me apart.
Then, as quickly as he’d started, he stopped. Red-faced and panting, Jaxon gazed at me. “I’m sorry. I overstepped. Don’t be mad at me or run away. I shouldn’t—”
I laid two fingers over his mouth. “I’m not mad.” Passion and desire lit up his eyes, not simply lust. “Maybe…maybe you should.” I gulped in air, watching his reaction.
He cupped my face. “I don’t want to push you. Just because you’re here for the night doesn’t mean I expect you to spend it in my bed. I’m respecting your boundaries.”
I shivered, imagining lying naked with Jaxon, waking up with his face next to mine on the pillow. As much as I’d spoken out against physical intimacy between us, I wanted it. I wanted him more than anything.
My lashes lowered as I couldn’t look him in the eye with what I was about to say.
“I’ve been thinking. It’s hard to say we’re dating and together without…you know…”
“Having sex?” I could hear the smile in Jaxon’s words. “True, but we’ve been managing. Better than I thought I’d be able to, considering.”
“Considering what?” I asked, my breath hitching when the pad of his thumb lightly brushed my lips.
“You’re going to make me say it?” Jaxon leaned in, and my heart jumped. “I want you so damn much. I’ve wanted you for a long time.”
Maybe it wasn’t perfect. It wasn’t love, but dammit, I wanted to feel. That kiss from Jaxon had unlocked a need to know.
“I want you too,” I confessed.
A lazy grin tipped up the corner of his lips, and his eyes crinkled with laughter. I couldn’t deny it. This man awakened a hunger in me that had lain dormant until now. My chance was here—tonight—and if it never happened again, I’d have this time with Jaxon, and I could live with the memories.
“Then let’s stop talking and make it happen. It’s been hell being with you and not touching and kissing you. Hearing you feel the same?” He kissed my cheek. “You brightened my whole night. Now, c’mon.”
He got to his feet and held out a hand. In the darkened apartment, we walked to his bedroom.
Jaxon cupped my face.
“You’re sure? I don’t want you to regret it in the morning.”
“My only regret would be not taking this chance.”
I could see Jaxon still wondering if I’d have a change of heart, so I pushed myself out of my comfort zone and settled my lips on his. Triumph surged through me when he dragged me up against him and squeezed my ass before pulling off my tie and flicking open the buttons of my shirt.
“You’re so gorgeous. I can’t get enough of you,” he rasped hot in my ear.
His mouth pressed on my overheated flesh, and I sank to the bed, shaking in the wake of his kisses. At one point he stopped and rose to his feet.
“No,” I protested, but he leaned in close to kiss my fears away.
“Give me a moment. I want you skin to skin.”
He stripped off my clothes first, then his, keeping our briefs on, and joined me on the bed, lying beside me. At first, I was hesitant to explore, but he urged me on, and I smoothed my hands over his pecs and shoulders, loving the hard muscles and sprinkling of chest hair.
His heavy cock brushed mine, and he groaned, “Oh, yeah. Feels so good.”
“Jaxon…”
Desire exploded through my bloodstream, and I melted into his arms. Heat poured off him, mixing with his sweat and cologne.
I sucked in gulps of air as he bit and licked my neck.
His tongue was everywhere—in my mouth, tracing the shell of my ear, under my armpits.
The reality of Jaxon blew my fantasies to hell.
“Sweetheart, you’ve been driving me wild for weeks. Please, please,” he panted. “I need you so much.”
Any hesitancy faded and turned into whimpers of pleasure as he dipped his head and bit my nipple. Crying out, I arched into him.
“Oh God, Jaxon.” My hands twisted in his hair, and he continued to tease the tingling points. My cock hardened to the point of pain, and I reached down to adjust myself, only to have Jaxon’s hand cover mine.
“Baby, can I? Please?” He continued to stroke me through the thin fabric, and I squirmed. “We’ll only go as far as you want. I promise.”
Glowing blue eyes met mine, and in spite of his playboy reputation, I believed him. Maybe it was foolish, or I was too worked up, but in that moment, I didn’t care. Jaxon was here, kissing me, touching me, and I wanted more.
I wanted everything.
“Yes,” I whispered. “Yes, please.”
His eyes smoldered with undeniable passion, and Jaxon trailed a finger along the throbbing length of my dick.
“I want you so much I can’t see straight.” He peeled off my briefs, leaving me naked but unashamed. His warm palm grasped me, and he rubbed his stubbled cheek against my shaft. “Can I suck you? Please?”
I never thought I’d hear Jaxon Polaris—so strong and determined in the courtroom—in his bedroom, begging me to suck my dick.
“Yeah.” I sighed, and he instantly bent his head over my cock. At the first touch of his wet, hot lips, I cried out. I wanted to come, yet I needed it to last forever.
“Jaxon, Jax,” I choked. With the sheets knotted in my sweaty fists, my hips rolled, and I thrust into his mouth.
Hearing Jaxon’s throaty moans, knowing I was giving him pleasure, was an all-powerful feeling.
I was there because he wanted me. He fondled my achy, swollen balls and fire streaked through my legs up to my groin. “I’m almost there…coming…ahhh.”
My orgasm ripped through me, blinding in its intensity. I heard the echo of my scream, and Jaxon gripped my hips to keep me steady while he lapped up my come.
When I opened my eyes, Jaxon was resting his head on my belly. He reached out a hand, and I linked my fingers with his. It might not be forever, but nothing had ever felt as good as this very moment.
“What’re you thinking?” he asked me before kissing my navel and shimmying up to cuddle next to me. A languid warmth spread through my bones. “Any regrets?”
“No. Don’t think that. It was wonderful,” I murmured, suddenly shy. “I can do you now.”
I reached out, but Jaxon stopped me.
“No. I don’t want you to do anything out of obligation. There is no tit for tat. I sensed you were hurting because of what I said.”
My spine stiffened. “So this was out of pity?”
Jaxon sat up. “Absolutely not. Everything I told you was true—I’ve wanted you for a long time. I find you sexy, sweet…and hot as fuck.” He leaned in to kiss me. “And you taste fucking delicious.”
I couldn’t face him. How could I explain to Jaxon that he was the first man to suck me off? I’d given blowjobs but had never been on the receiving end. I was so out of my league.
“Hey.” Jaxon’s knuckles brushed my cheek; then he tipped my chin, forcing me to meet his eyes. “What’s going on?”
“Nothing.” I smiled, hoping he’d drop it. “Thank you for trusting me with your story.”
“We aren’t all that different. You see that, don’t you?” He kissed me until my head spun, and I clung to him. Jaxon nudged my nose with his. “Let’s get comfortable.”
He stripped off his briefs and lay down again, his thick cock leaking sticky precome.
The next moment, he was licking his fingers and slipping one past my rim, followed a second later by another.
My pants grew harsher as I moved on his hand, head thrashing, craving something—anything—to fill the void.
My dick filled a second time, and I clawed at the bed.
“Please,” I gasped, my husky, pleading voice unrecognizable. “Jaxon, please.”
“Shh, baby. I’m going to give you what you want. What we both want.”
He removed his fingers, and I brushed against his rigid dick. It was hot and strong, soft skin over strength, and he groaned as I stroked its length. He grabbed for something on the night table and I saw the condom wrapper in his hand right before he rolled it on and coated himself with lube.
I watched him disappear, sinking into me. His heat consumed me. Fully settled in, he kissed my neck.
“How do you feel?”
“Mmm.” A dreamy smile rested on my lips. “So good.”
Jaxon kissed me again. “Let’s make it better.” He pushed my legs to my shoulders, driving even deeper, touching part of me that set off a shockwave through my nerve endings. Jaxon’s expression turned feral—his lips thinned, his eyes blazed, and sweat dripped from his face. “So fucking perfect.”
The bed creaked, and I arched up to meet his powerful thrusts while rubbing my dick.
“Oh God, oh God,” I heard myself scream.
Jaxon let out a husky growl of pleasure as he filled the condom while I came a second time, my cock pulsing out a sticky stream of come between our sweating bodies.
“Theo, baby.” He sighed, lips buried in my hair. His heart thundered as hard and fast as mine, and I tentatively put my arms around him, unsure whether he liked cuddling. He settled in closer and rested his cheek on mine. “That was…I don’t even know what to say.”
“Better than good?” I offered.
Jaxon chuckled and slowly pulled out to get rid of the condom. He left the bedroom and returned with a washcloth to clean us up.
“Good isn’t even in the lexicon of words I’d use. Incredible, amazing. Perfect.” He slid into bed and pulled me near so we fit together, his warm lips nuzzling mine. “Let’s try and get some rest.”
Within a few minutes, Jaxon was asleep, his soft breath whispering in the still air. I remained awake, my senses alert and buzzing in the aftermath.
I’d always believed sex and love went hand in hand, but as the years passed and my loneliness grew darker and deeper, I sometimes gave in to the longing to be touched.
It seldom brought me pleasure beyond the physical release.
The men I’d meet took but rarely gave, and I’d never spent the night next to a warm body.
I touched my body, recalling Jaxon’s mouth on me, reliving every delicious second. He muttered something incomprehensible and shifted closer, so I reached out and put my arm around him. The danger signs loomed everywhere… Don’t fall for him, it’s all for show, you’re a means to his end.
I knew it all yet couldn’t forget the tears slipping down his face listening to him speak of his childhood, and I knew instinctively he’d never told anyone else his story. I hugged that knowledge to myself, reveling in the trust he’d given me.
I closed my eyes and slept.
**
Early morning sun woke me to find the bed empty. I sat up and heard the shower running, but I needed to use the bathroom, so I opened the door.
“Come on in, the water’s great.” Jaxon pulled the glass door open and caught me standing at the toilet. I’d never taken a shower with another man, and I could feel my face burning. “Theo…”
“Uh…sure.”
I finished and washed my hands, then stepped inside the steamy enclosure, where I was met with a kiss so greedy and hungry, I forgot I was ever nervous.
As I returned it with a hard suck of his tongue, the push of his cock into my belly ignited my hunger, and I sank to my knees, my mouth watering in anticipation.
My lips covered the soft crown of his erection, and Jaxon planted his feet wide.
I bobbed on his solid shaft, mouth working while my hand stroked my dick.
I was close already. I licked and sucked, taking him deep, loving the noises Jaxon made, echoing loud and long against the tiled walls.
I came, my eyes fluttering shut and tightened my lips around him as my tongue teased the pulsing vein.
“Fuck, Theo. Oh, God. Oh, fuck.” He reached out to the wall and braced himself, which sent his cock farther down my throat and pleasure-pain streaking through me as I gagged. “Shit, I’m sorry,” he apologized, but I shook my head and put a hand on his thigh.
“Mmm,” I moaned, hoping he’d understand that I loved it.
I picked up speed, and his hips rolled faster. My nails dug into his flesh, and with a cry, he came, filling my mouth. I swallowed it eagerly before sitting on my heels with hot water cascading over my head. Jaxon pulled me up and held me.
“Good morning.” I ducked my head, suddenly shy. He tipped up my chin and kissed me, tongue sweeping mine.
“Mm-hmm. Best morning ever. Let’s get something to eat, and I’ll drop you at home.”
“B-but that’s out of your way,” I said, soaping myself. “I can take a cab.”
I rinsed off, and Jaxon turned off the water.
“No. I want everyone to see you get out of my car and know we spent the night together.”
My heart sank. I’d thought—stupidly, it now seemed—that after what we’d shared, Jaxon would see we should be together and we’d be dating in earnest.
That fantasy had to be squashed immediately.
I had to return to our initial agreement.
“Sounds good,” I answered lightly. “I’m not really hungry, though.”
Jaxon towel-dried himself and left the bathroom, so I did the same and followed. He was already in his briefs and picking out a shirt from his closet, so I went to the living room to fetch my bag. Upon my return, he was fully dressed and waiting.
“Everything okay?” he asked, concern etching his brow.
“Sure, of course.” I gave him my brightest smile, hoping he’d drop the subject. “I know you get into work early, so I don’t want to hold you up. That’s all.”
He studied my face, and I guessed I’d fooled him, because he accepted what I said without pushing me further.
“Okay. I’ll pick up something from the diner after dropping you off.”
I got into my clothes as quickly as possible, and we headed out. Twenty minutes later, Jaxon pulled up in front of my house, and I barely gave the SUV a chance to stop before I had the door open.
“Thanks. Talk to you soon.”
“Theo, wait—”
“Enjoy your corn muffin.”
I ran up the stairs and inside the house, locking the door behind me.
I was safe. I’d forgotten the promise I’d made to myself, but I wouldn’t make that mistake again.