ANTONY
When I arrive home after my shift at the restaurant, the house is unusually quiet and dark, and I assume Erin has gone to bed early, meaning we won’t get a chance to talk.
I’m surprised when I find her sitting at the breakfast bar, a stack of paperwork in front of her.
“What’s all this?” I ask, approaching cautiously.
“My resignation, and your reference to my new employer. All you have to do is sign. I’m sorry for the short notice, but I’m leaving this weekend.”
I feel my eyes bulge out of my head. “This weekend?”
“Yes, my new employer wants me to start straight away. I’ve already signed a lease on a new apartment in New York, and--”
“You’re moving to New York? What’s going on, Erin? Is this because I took Chantelle for dinner? I want to apologize -- you’re right, it was wrong of me to date someone else when we’re…”
I can’t say what we are … dating? Lovers?
“It was just a fling,” Erin says dismissively.
“You really believe that? I thought you wanted to tell the twins?”
I start pacing. Where is all this coming from? I don’t understand.
“Someone made me a better offer,” Erin says, unable to meet my gaze.
“If it’s money you want, I’ll double whatever they’re offering. I can’t lose you. I won’t find another nanny like you.”
Erin’s eyes narrow. “It isn’t just the money. It’s time for me to move on.”
“Are you not happy here? I thought you loved Aaron and Elizabeth? If there’s a problem, we can sort it out. If the twins are misbehaving, I’ll have a word with them. Or if it’s more time off you need, something can be arranged. Just tell me, what do you need to make you stay?”
Erin opens her mouth, then closes it again and shakes her head. “There’s nothing that will make me stay. I’m sorry, but I need a fresh start.”
“I don’t understand,” I say, taking a tentative step forward.
Erin goes rigid for a moment, her gaze searching mine, before her eyes turn cold and she steps away.
“And that’s exactly the problem,” she says.
“I’m going home now. I need to start packing.
I’ll be back tomorrow to get the twins ready for school, if you need me to.
Otherwise, I will collect them at 3.p.m as usual. ”
Her cold dismissal, and the fact she won’t even spend the night, so she can break the news to the twins gently fills me with rage.
I thought Erin and I had something special, but I was obviously wrong.
I never imagined she’d be so distant with Elizabeth and Aaron though.
They will be devastated she’s leaving, and yet, she doesn’t seem to care.
Which is exactly why I was right to not tell them about Erin and I sleeping together. I thought it was the start of something, but it turns out, all she saw was a fling. Now someone is offering her more money, she’s happy to abandon all three of us.
“It’s fine, I can get the twins ready for school.” Fire courses through my veins, and I grab the reference letter she’s printed off. “In fact, if you’ve got so much packing to do, today can be your last day. I will pay you for the full week of course, but I no longer need your services.”
“But … I … the twins. Can’t I even say goodbye to them?”
“It’s best you don’t,” I say hotly. It’s going to hurt them enough knowing Erin is walking out on them. I won’t put them through more pain.
I yank open the kitchen drawer, grab a pen and sign Erin’s reference, and then thrust it at her.
“I hope you’re happy in New York,” I say.
Erin snatches the paper from me, and for a moment, I see a flicker of something in her eyes. Regret? I brush it off as a trick of the light when she replies, “I’m sure I will be.”
My chest hurting, I watch as she stalks out of the kitchen. Then I hear the sound of her car, and know she’s really gone.
Slowly reality sets in. Erin has resigned.
My head spins as I try to get everything in order. What will I tell Aaron and Elizabeth? Who will look after them?
What could I have done to make her stay?
I trail upstairs, meaning to go to bed, but instead, I find myself drawn to the spare room where Erin usually sleeps. I step inside and see that she’s changed the bed sheets and taken any personal items.
I sit down on the bed, wondering if there’s something she left behind -- some excuse I can use to call her, or some indication of why she really resigned.
I open the bedside table, and there in the top drawer is the Tiffany’s bracelet I bought for her during our trip to New York.
Erin’s words from earlier repeat in my mind. “It was just a fling.”
Of course, it was just a fling, because what would she want with a single father like me? I was a fool to think it was anything else.
-----
“Where’s Erin?” Aaron asks, as he and Elizabeth enter the kitchen and climb up onto the bar stools to eat their breakfasts.
“She’s left. She got a better offer,” I reply flatly.
My twins’ eyes widen in unison, and Elizabeth asks, “What do you mean?”
“She got a new job that pays more.”
“But couldn’t you just pay her even more?” Aaron insists.
“I tried, Buddy, but she wasn’t interested. She said she needs a fresh start.”
Elizabeth pushes her plate of pancakes away and starts sniffling, while Aaron bursts into tears.
“Make her come back!” he wails.
If only it were that simple.
“I can’t, I’m sorry. Now, come on, eat your pancakes. I need to get you to school.”
Elizabeth jumps down from her stool, and Aaron follows her. “We’re not going to school until you make Erin come back,” my daughter says.
“I told you, she’s not coming back. She doesn’t care about us,” I snap, and the twins start crying harder.
I drop to my knees so I’m on eye level with Aaron and Elizabeth. Pulling them into my arms, I say, “I’m sorry. I miss her too. I tried everything to make her stay.”
The twins cry into my shoulders, making my heart break, and a tiny part of me hates Erin for putting them through this.
Once the twins are calmer and occupied watching T.V in the living room, I call the school and tell the receptionist they’re sick.
Then I call Ryan. “I need your help,” I say as my brother answers.
“What’s wrong? Has something happened to Elizabeth and Aaron?” he asks, the panic obvious in his voice.
“No, they’re fine. Well, as fine as they can be given Erin resigned.”
“She what? I’ll be straight over.”
Ryan ends the call, and five minutes later, he’s letting himself into the kitchen, where I sit at the breakfast bar with an untouched cup of coffee in front of me.
“I’ve asked Alicia to cover for you at the restaurant today,” Ryan says, coming to sit beside me. Then his voice softens. “What happened?”
I explain everything, from me agreeing to go on a date with Chantelle a few days ago, to coming home last night and Erin handing in her resignation.
When I’m finished, Ryan is frowning. “This is why I warned you to be careful. She was probably only after one thing.”
“I thought she was different, I thought we had something special,” I say, still not understanding exactly what happened.
I know I messed up by agreeing to have dinner with Chantelle, but Erin wouldn’t even let me apologize. And the fact she’d lined up a new job and new apartment without even discussing it with me first shows how little she cared about me and the twins.
“I’m sorry,” Ryan says.
It’s not often that my older brother is open with his emotions. Since we lost our parents, we’ve both put on a brave face for the sake of our younger brothers. I appreciate Ryan being here for me now.
After a few beats of silence, I say, “What am I going to do now?”
“Don’t worry, I’ll call Sebastian and Joshua--” I don’t miss the fact Ryan leaves our younger brother, Tucker, out of the equation.
Not that I'm surprised. All Tucker cares about is partying and surfing. “Together with me and Alicia, we’ll take it in shifts to look after Aaron and Elizabeth until you find a new nanny.”
“Thank you. I feel like my whole world is falling apart. I don’t know what I’d do without you.”
“That’s what families are for,” Ryan replies simply.
-----
It takes a few days for the people in town to start gossiping about Erin’s resignation.
The reason why varies from story to story.
Some say it’s a simple move to make more money.
Others insist we had some sort of fight over the futures of Aaron and Elizabeth.
There are even a couple of people who speculate that we were having an illicit affair that ended badly.
Oh, if only they knew.
I do my best to ignore the curious glances and muttered comments, and instead focus on the twins. They’re not taking Erin’s departure well. Neither Aaron or Elizabeth is sleeping well, and often end up in my bed with me, and they refuse to go back to school.
I do everything I can to reassure them that everything will be okay; that I will never leave them, and soon I’ll find a new nanny that they’ll love just as much as they loved Erin.
“No one will ever replace her,” Aaron says firmly.
The only thing that seems to help is being around Alicia and her siblings, who Aaron and Elizabeth have taken to referring to as their cousins, likely because that’s what Alicia and Ryan’s baby will be to them, and they don’t understand the difference.
Alicia and her siblings do all they can to help with the twins, looking after them as much as possible, but as Alicia and her older sister both work for the resort, and Alicia’s other siblings are in school, they can’t be around all the time.
Ryan, Sebastian and Joshua do what they can, too, but again, they have jobs of their own. I’m surprised when even Tucker offers to help and spends an afternoon playing with the twins at the beach.
Eventually though, I have to admit it’s too much for me, and I call May’s parents in Florida.
Peter and Mary Riley are both retired, and more than happy to come to the Hamptons for an extended period to look after their grandchildren.
They haven’t seen the twins for months -- since we visited for Christmas -- and relish the time with Aaron and Elizabeth.
But I know it’s not a long-term solution.
Even if Peter and Mary could be persuaded to move to the Hamptons, they’re both in their sixties, and not really equipped to look after a pair of almost-four-year-olds full-time.
I have to admit the truth, as much as it pains me to do so. Erin is never coming back, and I need to hire her replacement.