ANTONY
The arrival of the twins’ grandparents coincides with the date Erin told me she’s leaving on, and part of me is tempted to meet Peter and Mary at the airport, in the hopes of seeing Erin too. Perhaps I could convince her to stay?
I think better of it though. She’s made herself clear. The twins and I just aren’t important enough to her.
So instead, I arrange to meet Peter and Mary the following day, meaning they have a chance to check into their hotel and relax a little before seeing Aaron and Elizabeth.
The twins are excited about seeing their grandparents, especially as Peter and Mary have some fun day trips planned, but we’re all aware the visit is only a short one.
After I told Peter and Mary about Erin leaving, they admitted they weren’t sure for how long they could help me with the twins.
Not knowing I was having issues with Erin, they had already booked a round the world cruise that leaves in a couple of weeks’ time.
And the fact that the trip is so soon, they can’t cancel it without losing thousands of dollars.
I’m disappointed but understand. It isn’t their responsibility to take care of Aaron and Elizabeth and at least this way, the twins get to spend some quality time with their grandparents before the trip.
I plan on using the few days that Elizabeth and Aaron are with Peter and Mary to interview new nannies, so that when the twins’ grandparents leave for their cruise, they can ease back into a new routine.
Peter and Mary have an extensive itinerary of activities planned, including trips to the beach, swimming lessons, mini golf, a day at an outdoor recreational centre, and even pony rides with Sebastian at the ranch.
The morning the twin’s grandparents’ come to collect them is the first time I’ve seen Aaron and Elizabeth smile and be excited since Erin left.
When the twins are gone, I begin interviewing the prospective nannies. The first candidate is a young woman named Auli'i, who recently moved from Hawaii to be with her long-distance boyfriend, whom she met online.
The position will be Auli'i’s first as a nanny, but her resume is promising. She has a Bachelor of Arts in Social Sciences: Early Childhood Education, and grew up with six brothers and sisters, whom she cared for while her parents worked.
“As I mentioned during our phone conversation, the twins have been struggling to adjust since Erin left. She was in their lives for almost four years. How do you intend to deal with their struggles and behaviour?” I ask, as we sit in my living room.
The young woman with long dark hair and large brown eyes offers me a soft smile.
“With patience and understanding. I learned from an early age, if you want to get anywhere with kids, you have to do things gently. Guide them, don’t force them.
Listen to their feelings. Make them feel valid as people.
I’d encourage them to talk about Erin and how much they miss her, while also getting to know them and asking about their interests. ”
I smile. Her answer puts me at ease, and I write down some notes.
After interviewing Auli'i, the next candidate is an older woman, named Veronica, with ten years of childcare experience. I ask her the same question I asked Auli'i.
“With a firm hand. Children need discipline and routine,” Veronica says. “I would insist they attend school every day. You should keep everything the same as possible.”
I make a note of Veronica’s answers, thank her for her time, and move onto the next candidate.
I spend the morning speaking to nannies with various levels of experience, and differing opinions on how the twins should be raised. Some, like Auli'i, favor the gentle approach, while others follow Veronica’s methods of ‘tough love.’
By lunchtime I have plenty to think about and welcome the break to talk things through with my brothers and get their opinions.
Ryan, Sebastian, Joshua and I meet at the resort for lunch. We did invite Tucker, too, but he was busy with a surfing contest in Southampton. We arrange to meet up in a couple of weeks’ time, when he’s back in town.
“How did the interviews go?” Ryan asks, as the four of us gather around a private table towards the back of the restaurant.
My sous-chef, Dale, serves us bowls of tomatoey, brothy Manhattan clam chowder.
He has been a godsend since Erin left. He’s stopped trying to set me up with his friends and relatives, and instead has taken the helm at the restaurant, making sure everything is running smoothly while I take time out to look after the twins, or interview prospective nannies.
“Good. I have a lot of promising candidates. I’m just trying to figure out if I want someone who’ll take a softer approach, like Erin would, or someone a little tougher. Maybe if the twins had a firmer hand, they’d adjust better.”
“I still don’t understand why you just let Erin walk away,” Joshua says.
Since she left, and my brothers have been helping with looking after the twins, they’ve all learned that Erin and I were sleeping together.
“Sometimes you have to let go of the people you love,” Sebastian replies, and I know he’s referring to his previous relationship with his high school sweetheart Lana, whom he broke up with when she moved to New York to pursue a career as an artist.
“Sometimes love is worth taking a gamble on though,” Joshua counters.
“Like you have with Caitlyn?” Ryan challenges.
My younger brother Josh has had feelings for his close friend Caitlyn for years but has yet to make a move.
“That’s different,” Joshua insists. “Caitlyn has a boyfriend. You know it’s wrong to chase someone in a relationship.”
“Tucker wouldn’t agree with you there,” Ryan quips.
“Which is why I don’t take relationship advice from Tucker,” Joshua says, and we all murmur our agreement. None of us want to imitate our partying, heartbreaker baby brother.
“I took a chance with Alicia, and it worked out,” Ryan says.
“So, you think I should have fought harder for Erin?” I ask, my brows drawing together. I’ve asked myself this question numerous times since she left.
What more could I have said or done to make her stay?
“I didn’t say that. From everything you’ve told me, Erin proved she wasn’t worth fighting for,” Ryan says. Since Erin left, he’s been the most against her, stating he thinks she was just using me, and how quickly she was prepared to move on is proof she never cared about the twins or me.
I’m not sure what I believe.
When I’m alone at night, mine and Erin’s final conversation constantly replays in my mind.
Even though she said it was just a fling, there were moments I could have sworn she was searching my gaze for something more.
Was I imagining those lingering glances?
Or was Erin waiting for me to admit how I really feel …
that brings me to the question that’s been keeping me awake at night.
How do I really feel about Erin?
Now she’s gone, it’s a question I won’t allow myself to answer.
“None of that matters. Finding the right replacement nanny is my priority,” I say, shifting the focus away from Erin, and back to more important matters.
I pass my interview notes to my brothers, who all read them through.
“I like the sound of Veronica, she reminds me of the tutor we hired for Tucker when he was in Sophomore year,” Ryan says.
I remember the tutor, her name was Natasha, and both Ryan and I agree she’s the sole reason Tucker graduated high school at all.
Like all of us, he struggled with our parents’ death, and dealt with it in typical Tucker fashion -- drinking and partying.
Ryan and I stepped in, hiring Natasha as a tutor, and only allowing Tucker out with his friends if he improved his grades.
Thankfully the plan worked.
“She was a bit uptight,” Joshua says.
“No, you just didn’t like her because she called you and Tucker out on your bullshit,” Sebastian insists, then turns to me. “I like the sound of Veronica too. I think a change in discipline style might do the twins good.”
“Yeah, I was thinking the same,” I say, agreeing with the majority of my brothers. “Okay, I’m going to offer her the job.”
After lunch, I call Veronica and we agree to a week trial to begin with, starting when the twins’ grandparents leave for their cruise in a few days.
Veronica is eager to get Elizabeth and Aaron back into a routine, which I fully support, so they will be returning to school, as well as the after-school activities Erin set up.
When Aaron and Elizabeth return from their day out with their grandparents, I tell them that I’ve hired a new nanny.
“Her name is Veronica, and she will start working with us when Grandma and Grandpa leave,” I say, as the three of us sit together to eat dinner.
Aaron puts down his fork and looks up at me with big, blue eyes. “Erin is never coming back, is she?”
“I’m afraid not, buddy.”
“We miss her,” Elizabeth says.
I sigh. “I miss her too, but it’s time we move on. You’ll start to feel better when you’re back at school and going to your activities again.”
At least, that’s what I’m hoping for, but the reality turns out to be much different.
First of all, it becomes apparent asking Peter and Mary to visit wasn’t the best idea I had. While the twins had an amazing time with their grandparents, they’re reluctant to let them leave, and on Peter and Mary’s final day here, there’s lots of tears.
“Oh, my sweet babies. We wish we could take you with us,” Mary says softly, as she embraces them both. “But your place is here, with your papa.”
“Don’t worry though, we will send you plenty of postcards, and old Gramps will even learn how we can chat online,” Peter adds.
“And when we get back, we will have so many presents for you,” Mary says.
The promise of presents, as well as frequent calls and postcards seem to appease the twins, and we all see Mary and Peter off at the airport with lots of hugs.
The day after Peter and Mary leave, I introduce the twins to Veronica for the first time. It’s a Saturday, so they’re not in school, and the plan is for them to spend the weekend getting to know each other, before we all return to our normal schedules.
Veronica insists on taking the twins to the natural history museum in South Fork.
Her stance is that everything a child does must be educational in some way.
While both Elizabeth and Aaron are interested in the museum’s Panthera Wild Cats Multimedia Exhibit, they find everything else boring, and when we get home, they seem drained and uninspired.
The following day isn’t much better, with Veronica once again insisting we do something educational.
While Erin always advocated for making sure the twins were educated, she’d make sure the activities were fun and age appropriate, too.
To me, it seems Veronica has no idea how to connect with almost four-year-olds.
On Sunday evening, I take Veronica aside, and say, “I’m sorry, but I don’t think this is going to work out. You and the twins just don’t seem to be connecting.”
Veronica sighs and smiles sadly. “I’m afraid you’re right, Mr. Braddock. I’m sorry I couldn’t offer you and your children what you need, and I wish you the best of luck with your next candidate.”
After Veronica leaves, I quickly call Auli'i and ask if she’s still interested in the position. When she says she is, I invite her over to meet the twins.
Aaron and Elizabeth seem to like Auli'i much more than they did Veronica, and when she helps me with their bedtime routine, and then tells them some Hawaiian folktales at bedtime, I’m feeling much more confident.
“I will take them to school as usual, but I’d like it if you could collect them, and look after them until I return from work, at about 1.am. You’re welcome to sleep in the guest room, or I can pay for a cab home for you.”
“I don’t mind staying in the guestroom. Then I can help with the school run the next day, perhaps?” Auli'i suggests.
At first, things with Auli'i go well. She and the twins get along, and her attitude is similar to Erin’s.
Aaron and Elizabeth settle back into a routine at school, with Auli'i collecting them and spending the night, then preparing their lunches and breakfasts the following day, before taking a break until 3 p.m. much like Erin did.
As my brothers and Alicia have offered to help with childcare at the weekends, I give Auli'i Saturday and Sunday off.
On Saturday morning, I make the twins pancakes for breakfast, and we all settle at the breakfast bar to chat about their week.
“How are you finding things with Auli'i?” I ask.
“She’s okay,” Elizabeth replies.
“We like her more than Veronica. She was so strict,” Aaron adds.
“So you’d be okay if Auli'i became your new nanny permanently?” I ask, feeling a small glimmer of hope that things will be okay.
Elizabeth and Aaron shake their heads. “We want Erin to come back.”