28. Nikolai
Nikolai
She’s gone when I wake up. I roll over and immediately regret it. Everything hurts. My shoulder screams in protest. My ribs ache. The cut on my head throbs with each heartbeat.
I sit up slowly and check my phone. Three missed calls from Sergei. Fuck.
I call him back.
He answers on the first ring. “Nikolai. Are you alive?”
His version of humor. Something we share.
“Yes.”
“Pasha?”
“Alive.”
There’s a pause. I hear him exhale. “Good. Tell me what happened.”
I give him the abbreviated version. Car bomb. Forty feet. Driver dead. Pasha injured.
“The Italians.” His voice is flat with certainty.
“Yes.”
“This is escalating faster than I expected.” I hear papers shuffling in the background. “I’m coming out there.”
“No.”
“Nikolai, we knew these guys were causing problems. They’re assuming you don’t have the force of the Bratva behind you.”
“I can handle it.”
“You almost died yesterday.”
“Almost doesn’t count.”
He’s quiet for a moment. I know that silence. It’s the one he uses when he’s deciding whether to pull rank or let me handle my shit. He’s my older brother, but he’s also my pakhan. Two separate roles. Two separate sets of rules.
“Sergei, I can handle this.”
“Fine,” he says. “But if they come at you again, I won’t ask permission. I’ll bring an army.”
“Understood.”
“How’s the new property?”
“Opening on schedule.”
“Good.” Another pause. “Are you actually okay?”
The question catches me off-guard. Sergei doesn’t usually ask twice. It’s one of the changes I’ve noticed since he got married and had children. I would never call him soft, but some of his harder edges have worn down.
“I’m fine,” I say. “Bruised. Pissed. But fine.”
“Pasha’s family?”
“His mother’s with him at the hospital. Mila’s here with us.”
“Good. Keep them close.”
“Yes, Mila stays. They’ll both come here when Pasha’s released.”
He clears his throat. “Is there anything else I should know about?”
I hesitate, though I don’t know why. Sergei is my brother. One of the few people I trust completely.
“There’s a woman,” I say.
He says nothing.
“And a kid. They’re staying here.”
The silence stretches.
“Sergei?”
“I’m sorry, I thought you just said there’s a woman and a child living at your estate.”
“I did.”
“Your estate. The one nobody goes to. The one you guard like a state secret.”
“Yes.”
“Who is she?”
“A dealer from the casino. She needed a place to stay. She has a four-year-old son.”
“And you just... moved them in.”
“Yes.”
He laughs, something Sergei rarely does.
“What?” I ask.
“Nothing. It’s just... I didn’t think I’d see the day.”
“See what day?”
“The day you let someone into your life.” He pauses. “Are you involved with her?”
Am I?
I inhale and catch the scent of the shampoo she uses.
“Yes.”
“Does she know what you are?”
“She knows enough.”
“And the kid?”
“His name is Luke. He likes dinosaurs. He’s quiet. Sees things differently.”
Another laugh. Quieter this time. “You like him.”
“I do.”
“Be careful, Nikolai. The second they matter to you, they become leverage.”
“I know.”
“Do you? You just painted a target on their backs by keeping them in your house.”
“They’re safer with me than anywhere else.”
“Maybe. But if the Italians find out about them…”
“They won’t get near them.”
“You need to think about what happens if this gets worse. If they come at you through her. Through the kid. Are you prepared for that?”
I am. I have to be.
“Yes,” I say.
“Good.” He exhales. “For what it’s worth, I’m happy for you. You deserve something good in your life. Just be smart about it.”
“I will.”
“And Nikolai?”
“Yeah?”
“If you need anything, you call me. Immediately. Don’t try to handle everything alone.”
“I won’t.”
“I mean it.”
“I heard you.”
We end the call, and I sit there for a moment, staring at my phone. Sergei’s right. I’ve made them a target by keeping them here. But sending them away would make them more vulnerable. At least here, I can control the environment. I can protect them.
I want Gabby here. There’s no point in pretending otherwise. She’ll be able to spend more time with Luke. If she insists on working, I’ll make sure she has protection beyond what the casino provides.
I get dressed slowly, favoring my injured shoulder. Black shirt. Black pants. I catch my reflection in the mirror and remember what Gabby said. Like I’m going to a funeral every day.
Maybe I should buy something blue.
I head downstairs and find Irina in the kitchen. She takes one look at me and frowns.
“You should still be in bed.”
“I’m fine.”
“You’re not fine. Sit. I’ll make you breakfast.”
I take a seat at the island and let her fuss. It’s easier than fighting.
She sets a plate in front of me. Eggs. Toast. Fruit. I eat because I need the energy, not because I’m hungry.
“Did Olga come back last night?” I ask.
“No. She asked me to watch out for Mila. She had to take care of her baby.”
Pasha, six feet and several inches of solid muscle, getting pampered by his mommy. I bet he loved that. I bet the hospital staff loved it even more. A bossy Russian woman who will not hesitate to kill anyone who gets near her baby.
I hear voices in the foyer. I slide off the stool and see Pasha.
“What the fuck are you doing here?” I ask. “You should be in the hospital.”
“Nice to see you too,” he says.
Olga is with him, chattering in Russian. She’s pissed.
“I was discharged this morning.”
“Against medical advice,” Olga grumbles.
“You look like shit.”
“You’re one to talk.” He gestures at my bandaged arm.
“Galina,” I call out.
She’s there in seconds. “Get Pasha settled in his usual room.”
Pasha sighs. “I had a feeling you were going to do that.”
“You know it’s the plan,” I reply. “Everyone stays here.”
“Mila still asleep?”
I shrug. “I assume so.”
“I’ll check on her,” Olga says.
Galina and Olga go upstairs, leaving Pasha and me alone in the foyer.
“You saved my life,” he says quietly.
“You would have done the same.”
“I would have. But still. Thank you.”
I don’t know what to say.
“How’s the head?” I ask instead.
“Concussion. Stitches. I’ll live.”
“Good.”
I start walking back to the kitchen. I know I’m moving slower. In my house, I can allow the weakness. The second I go through those gates, I cannot show the pain I’m in.
Pasha isn’t moving any faster. I get him coffee and tell him to sit.
“Irina, breakfast for everyone,” I tell her. “It’s a full house.”
She starts preparing more eggs.
Several hours later, with everyone settled and Gabby’s shift covered, the house is quiet. Olga insisted that Pasha stay in bed. She’s also taking a nap after staying up with Pasha all night.
He’s a lucky man to have a devoted mother. If my mother were still alive, I know she would have done the same.
Laughter carries from the living room. It’s still a strange sound in my house. I walk toward it.
Gabby is on the floor with Luke and Mila. They’re playing a board game. Colorful pieces are scattered across the carpet. Luke is smiling. Not his usual small, careful smile. A real one.
Mila says something, and Luke laughs.
Gabby looks up and sees me. Her smile softens but doesn’t disappear.
“Hey,” she says.
“Hey.”
“Nik!” Mila jumps up and runs toward me. She stops a few feet away, uncertain. “Are you okay?”
“I’m okay.”
She nods, satisfied with this answer. “Okay. Good.” She runs back to the game.
I watch them play. Gabby explaining the rules. Luke listening carefully. Mila bouncing with excitement.
It looks right. Like something missing has finally clicked into place. This scene. This life.
I’ve spent years building my empire. Expanding territory. Making money. Accumulating power. I thought that was enough. I thought that was what success looked like. I never wanted a woman in my life. A wife. I’ve never even thought about children.
But standing here, watching Gabby play a board game with two kids, I realize I’ve been wrong.
This is what living looks like. People I care about under one roof. Safe. Happy.
I’m keeping them.
Gabby looks up again. Our eyes meet. I see the question in hers: Are you okay?
I nod. I’m okay.
I stand there and watch them play. My shoulder aches. My head throbs. My ribs scream every time I breathe too deeply.
But I’m okay.
I spent my life believing territory, money, and power were the only things worth protecting. Believing my limitations would keep me from this. I know I’m not like Pasha or my brothers. I’d accepted I wasn’t meant to have the typical life plan.
But I was wrong.
I have a family.
And I’ll put a bullet in the head of anyone who tries to take that from me.