Chapter 28
Peter
The day is here, and even though I’m dreading it, it feels slightly better knowing I have Molly by my side as I face my mom and her perfect family.
If I feel like an outsider, I’ll at least have her there with me.
“Are you ready, baby?” she asks me, her summer dress swaying in the wind as we stand outside the gates to their home. It’s white and light blue, a classy but cute outfit for the perfect summer day.
“I guess.”
I kiss her one last time, stealing all the strength I need from her as she kisses me back.
When we’re breathless and spent, I grab her hand, and we make our way inside the gates and to the front door.
For the first time ever, I don’t even have to knock before the door swings open, and my mom comes out.
“Peter! And who do we have here?”
Her excitement is a bit surprising, and I realise it has everything to do with Molly.
I’ve never brought anyone here. I’ve considered bringing Ryan but decided against it.
I could handle it by myself.
Seeing my mom’s enthusiasm for Molly is something else, though.
“Hi, it’s nice to meet you. I’m Molly.”
The two women greet each other whilst I stand back, still feeling a little puzzled over the whole thing.
When she’s all done with Molly, she comes over and gives me a hug, which is also rather new.
My mom usually doesn’t give me hugs or affection when I come to visit, so as we make our way inside, my head is spinning with questions.
Molly seems to understand that I’m feeling a bit out of it as she grabs my hand, comforting me whilst also talking with my mom and introducing herself to the rest of the family.
Her new husband had three other kids from his last marriage, all of whom are much younger than I am, meaning I’ve never had any sort of relationship with them.
I guess that’s what happens when you only see each other a few times a year.
This time, though, they’re all looking at me with huge eyes, like I’m someone they’ve never seen before.
“It’s so cool to see you racing. Do you think you’ll win?”
These kids are Formula 1 fans?
Have they always been fans?
I honestly can’t remember much of my interactions with them before.
I’ve always focused on getting through the evening and pushing down all the unpleasant feelings of being an outsider in this home. Which is why it feels strange to see the kids in a slightly different light than I have before.
“I plan to,” I tell them, and they get even more excited about that.
Molly chimes in from the side, my hand still in hers as she leans down to the kids. “He can win the whole thing this weekend,” she says, and they seem to be ecstatic about that.
“Will he get a trophy?”
“Yeah. And it will be even bigger than you!”
They awe and smile at Molly, and I observe them.
She might have told me that she doesn’t know if she wants kids. But this right here is all the confirmation I need that she said that to protect me. She’s great with the children, and I know she’ll make a great mother.
Some day, when I’m ready to share her, we’ll get to that.
Right now, I want her to myself for a bit longer.
As we sit down outside, the kids running around playing in the garden, I’m grateful when the questions are aimed at Molly. She’s great with people, and this is no exception as she tells them about working in Formula 1 and meeting me there.
I’ll never tire of hearing her speak passionately about her work and love for Formula 1. I’ve been the number one viewer of the Star News montages this year. She’s talented and driven, and I love seeing her passion come to life.
As she tells them the many stories of the season, she gets to the current standings and her pride in me for leading the championship and how well my season is going.
When she says this, my mom gives her husband a worried look.
“What is it?” I ask, sensing that there is something lurking beneath the surface.
“I’m sorry, dear. I didn’t want to burden you, but we’ve been wanting to come and see you race, if it’s possible. I didn’t know if you would want me there.”
As I stare at my mom, I realise it might not have been her who’s been the cold one or the one who made me feel like an outsider.
It was me.
I know I’ve been closed off, but I thought I was only that way in the paddock.
As I sit here, looking at the place like a home for the first time, I understand I might have been the one who distanced myself from her.
I guess part of me has been struggling with the idea that she moved on.
Whilst I felt stuck.
Stuck in the hope that I one day would get my family back whilst she had already moved on and created a new one.
As I sit here with Molly by my side, feeling like I’m building a future for myself that looks brighter than before, I am struck by just how isolated I’ve been before.
“I would love for you to come. I’ll get you tickets for this weekend if you want.”
My mom smiles brightly, and her husband seems excited as well.
My visits have usually only been short affairs, where I’d leave as soon as I could, feeling suffocated and out of place, but this time I find myself enjoying it a lot.
Getting to know her husband and kids a little bit better as we eat dinner and the sun goes down.
I recognise I’ve never really been present when I’ve visited before.
It’s been more of checking off a task to visit my mom so I don’t lose all the family I had. But I didn’t really participate or share anything meaningful with them.
When we say our goodbyes, my mom gives me another hug, and I get to enjoy it a bit more than I did when we first got here as I was so out of it.
We make our way over to the car, and Molly is on her way to open the door when I stop her, pushing her against the side of the car before kissing her.
She hums against my lips, smiling into it as I hold her tightly against me.
“Thank you,” I say, not knowing what else to say.
This woman has opened my eyes in so many ways. Helping me see that life doesn’t have to be grey and shallow. Allowing me to become part of her world when I didn’t know how to properly exist in my own.
“I’m so proud of you,” she murmurs, her hand pushing my hair back as she gazes at me.
I kiss her again, not getting enough of her.
I’ll never get enough of her.
～
I can’t quite believe my eyes.
Or maybe I can.
Because my woman always makes me feel like anything is possible.
My mom and her husband are currently speaking with Arthur and Molly, and the group seems to be having a great time.
It’s a beautiful day in Miami, and I just drove into pole position during Qualifying, which strengthens my position for tomorrow’s race.
I can become the world champion tomorrow if I manage to win the race.
Molly seems to sense my stare as she turns her head toward me, a beautiful smile aimed my way. I take the last few steps to the group, and Arthur pulls me right into one of his signature hugs.
“Here we have him, the man of the hour! What a qualifying!”
I hug him back before he releases me with a clap to my back, my mom next.
“You were wonderful!”
Having adults telling you that they’re proud of you shouldn’t impact me this much, but the emotion rises in my throat as I take in the pride in their eyes.
I may have won the championship and experienced similar days to this, but it’s never been this good.
Fulfilling.
Rewarding.
I guess what they say is true: life is more fun when you get to share the big moments with people you care about.
I finally turn to my girl, who’s been watching intently as I’ve accepted the hugs and cheers of the people around me.
The woman who’s made my life better in every way.
I lift Molly up in my arms before I kiss her.
I’ll never care about having an audience, but her father is right there, so I keep my tongue out of it.
“You did so good, baby,” she whispers.
Whenever we’re like this, the world around us seems to fade, and I get to just focus on her.
“Thank you, baby.”
I’m tempted to tell her that she’ll do real good when I get her alone in bed later, but again, her father is right there, so I keep it to myself.
～
I cross the finish line, and the fireworks erupt in the sky above me.
“You fucking did it! You are the world champion!” my race engineer yells into the radio as I take in the cheers around me.
Our mechanics are hanging on the pit wall, Ryan amongst them as I drive past, raising my hands in celebration.
“Fucking hell, we did!” I say back into the earpiece, the gratitude overwhelming as I hear the cheers in the background.
“I’m so proud of you,” comes Arthur, and I feel the emotion prickling as I slow the car to a stop.
I may have a championship title from before, but this moment is more special to me in every way.
This time, I have a team behind me, supporting me and pushing towards our common goal.
I have a boss, but more importantly, a friend and companion in Arthur, who gave me a chance when I didn’t know how to pull myself out of it.
And I have the woman of my dreams, keeping me steady through every up and down, and loving me more than I could ever deserve.
I release my six-point seatbelt before pulling myself out of the car and standing on top of it as I cheer, and for the first time ever, I welcome the noise around me.
I’ve always had the goal of turning off the noise around me and inside my head as I get into my car.
In this moment, I’m able to not just welcome it, but cherish it as the speaker announces me as the new world champion.
I jump down from my car before I run towards my mechanics, jumping up against them as they catch me.
When I spot Ryan, I pull him over the fence into a hug. He’s been here through it all, unwavering in his support and belief in me.
“Fucking hell, what a race! Congratulations, man,” he says, patting my back as I hug him.
“We did it,” I tell him.
When we pull back, he’s looking over my shoulder, a smile spreading.
“Someone is waiting for you.”
I turn around and see Molly waiting for me, always letting me experience the special moments with the people in my life.
I run towards her, lifting her up into my arms and spinning her around.