24.
J ANIS
“Are you sure you don’t want me to stay for a while longer?” Ginger asked worriedly. When I just stared at her, she said, “I know I promised not to hover, but come on!”
“You have a life.”
“Not much of one.”
“I know you have a date tomorrow and there are things you could be doing to get ready for it.”
Ginger smiled knowingly before she asked, “Oh, love guru, what do you suggest that I do to prepare?”
I took the bait and said, “You should probably shave your legs and make sure that you’re neat and trim in all the right areas because the last thing you want to hear after an orgasm is some man trying to get hair out of his mouth.”
Ginger burst out laughing and shook her head before she said, “You’re horrible. Don’t you know good girls don’t put out on the first date?”
“Smart girls take what they want when they want it.”
“Um . . . that’s how I ended up in prison.”
It was my turn to laugh, and I replied, “You know what I mean, Ginger. Go home and relax. Text Mr. Tomorrow and get excited about your date. I know it’s the first one you’ve been on in a while.”
“A while?” Ginger snorted before she said, “Try years.”
“All the more reason to get the weed whacker out and trim that jungle I’m sure you’ve got . . .”
“Shut up !” Ginger yelled, her cheeks red with embarrassment.
“Seriously though, give yourself time to savor those butterflies,” I insisted. “Take a long bath, paint your toenails . . . do something just for you.”
Ginger sighed before she said, “Okay, I’ll leave you to it. When will Corey be here?”
“He’s probably on his way now.”
“That makes me feel a little better,” Ginger admitted. She waved at me over her shoulder as she called out, “Have a good night, and call me if you need anything!”
“Tell Farrah to send me a text, letting me know if we’re still on for lunch tomorrow.”
“Will do.”
Finally alone, I told Alexa to turn up the volume and looked down at the list in front of me so I could determine which order would be most effective, so I could get through the tasks as quickly as possible. Corey had mentioned he’d like to go for a ride tonight, and since the weather was fantastic, I didn’t want to miss out on some wind therapy.
I numbered the tasks on the list and started preparing the bowls and supplies that I’d need when the buzzer at the back door sounded.
Suddenly, there was ice running through my veins, freezing my entire body so that I was as still as a statue. My heart started racing, and I could feel my breathing quickening, but I was rooted to the spot, even though the urge to hide was almost overwhelming. No matter how many times I told myself that I was safe, and it was okay, I still couldn’t move.
When the buzzer rang again, I jerked into motion and sprinted toward my office. The second I got inside, I slammed the door shut and threw the lock, terrified that it wasn’t enough and whoever was outside would still be able to get to me.
“You’re okay! You’re okay!” I chanted, frantically trying to reassure myself.
The problem was that I didn’t believe it and wasn’t sure that I would ever really be okay again.
◆◆◆
COREY
I fumbled with the bags in my hand until I was able to get all of the handles into one fist and then reached out to enter the code that would open the back door of the bakery. My guess was that Janis must be elbow deep in dough or had her music turned up so loud that she couldn’t hear the buzzer.
When I walked into the building, I saw that the office door was closed, but I didn’t pay much attention since the bags were cutting off the circulation to my fingers. Of course, I could have made two trips, but that seemed ridiculous, which was an argument I’d been having with my mother since my brother and I started carrying groceries into the house for her when we were children.
I set the bags down on the floor and looked around the kitchen. Janis must be working on the pastry case in the front since she wasn’t back here, so I took a few minutes to unload the things I’d brought in with me.
She still wasn’t in the kitchen by the time I was finished, so I walked up to the front and found it empty with all the lights turned off. Concerned now, I went into the walk-in refrigerator to see if she might be taking inventory, then walked into the freezer to see if she was there.
Once I realized she wasn’t anywhere out here, I walked back to the office and turned the knob, but found it locked. Janis rarely ever closed the door unless she wasn’t feeling well or she was trying to sleep, and she hadn’t mentioned either in the texts we’d sent back and forth less than an hour ago.
I gently knocked, and when there wasn’t an answer, I rapped a little harder. I knew that she was inside and could sense that she was in trouble. I pulled my phone out and called her, but heard her phone ringing from somewhere in the kitchen behind me.
“Janis! It’s Corey! Open the door!” I yelled before I knocked again.
After what seemed like an eternity, the door opened just a crack, and I flashed back to that day when I’d appeared at her back door when she first started being nice to me. I was mesmerized by her gorgeous blue eyes then, just like I was now, but this time, they were red-rimmed from crying.
“Baby, what’s wrong?” I asked as I gently pushed at the door.
Janis shook her head as she stepped back and then sobbed as she threw herself at me. I caught her in my arms and carried her across the office. Once I sat her on the desk in front of me, I hugged her tightly while I listened to her cry.
Her anguished sobs broke my heart that was already racing, worried that something else had happened to her or even to one of our friends.
“What’s wrong, Medusa? Talk to me, sweetheart.” When she shook her head again, I whispered, “Please tell me. What can I do to make it better?”
“I was so scared!”
“What scared you?”
“The buzzer for the door. It went off, and I knew someone was in the back, but I couldn’t move. I was stuck, paralyzed with fear that there was someone bad on the other side. That’s stupid, though! I’ve been doing this forever and then . . . and then . . . “ Sobs overtook her again, so I kissed her temple, hoping that she’d be able to talk again soon. Finally, she said, “I’m not a scaredy cat, Donut! I’m not!”
“You’re the strongest and bravest woman I’ve ever met, Medusa. I meant that. But something major happened, and it all started with that buzzer going off. You might have thought you were okay, but it clicked some switch in your brain that caused your flight response, sweetheart. That happens to everybody at some point after they’ve experienced trauma. It could be a sound or a smell . . . whatever, but it brings everything up to bubble over.”
“I am not going to stop doing what I know is right because some fuckers . . . Those assholes. I’m glad they’re dead. I want them all dead. All of them!”
I knew that it was going to take time before she was really better, but the fact that she was starting to get angry was a good sign.
“I think that’s in the works, but I’m really trying not to think about it,” I admitted.
Janis laughed before her chin trembled again. In a watery voice, she whispered, “I think I’m going crazy, Corey.”
“Honey, that train left the station years ago.”
Janis actually laughed then before she agreed, “You may be right.”
“But I bought a ticket, anyway.”
“Masochist.”
“Most likely.”
“The doors are locked now. It’s too late to escape.”
“I don’t know. You might wanna put a ring on it to make sure I can’t.”
Janis leaned back and stared at me in shock before she said, “If that’s a fucking proposal, the answer is definitely no. Do better, Forrester.”
Now it was my turn to laugh, and I tipped my head forward so that my forehead was resting on hers. “I love you, Janis Grissom, and someday, I want you to be my wife. I don’t know when that day will happen because you’re barreling through life like a freight train, causing chaos and mayhem everywhere you go. I’m not sure when you’ll stop long enough to walk down the aisle, but I’m willing to wait as long as it takes.”
“That’s a little better,” Janis whispered with a smile.
I used my thumbs to brush the tears off her cheeks before I explained, “I’ve got something in the works that I think . . . no, now I know it will help.”
“What?”
“Leave it to me, babe. I’ll take care of you.”
“I think you will.”
“For the rest of our lives, if you’ll let me.”
“I love you, too, Donut.”
“Good, because I like you a little bit too.”
When the buzzer rang, signaling that there was someone at the door again, I felt Janis’ entire body tense. I kissed her on the nose and said, “Let me take care of it tonight, okay?”
“But what about when you can’t be here? I’ve gotta do it sometime. I can’t let them go hungry because I’m being a pussy.”
“Bullshit. You are so far from that there’s no way to measure the distance.”
“I should . . .”
“You should go on about your business. I don't know how long you’ve been in here, but I know how you are about your schedule, and I’m sure you’re behind. Go do your thing, and I’ll take care of the door and help you as much as I can so we can get out of here at a decent time tonight.”
“Thank you, Donut.”
◆◆◆
I glanced over at the plastic sheeting that covered the entrance to the hallway and smiled when I heard Brawley talking to his father. During my conversation with Hank this morning, we’d discussed ways to make the bakery safer for Janis when she was here alone.
Hank suggested hiring an armed guard, but I knew that was a little extreme. He didn’t seem to think so and almost had me convinced when Garvey and Zoey arrived with Carl in tow. Once we got him settled in the tiny house, Zoey’s nurturing instinct took over. She called in some of the ladies to help her make it more like a home for him, and they brought things over from the office to help that along.
I’m not sure how it happened, but within minutes, I was hanging curtains while Hank and Garvey rearranged the furniture to make it easier for Carl to get around on his crutches. All the while, Zoey and a few of the women who already lived on her compound flitted around, doting on Carl, who they knew had been injured trying to help their friend.
While we were working, Hank, Garvey, Carl, and I went over ways to protect Janis and fortify the bakery. One idea was to install a screen of sorts, complete with metal bars and a hole just big enough to slide a to-go container through, just like Garvey and Hank remembered from their time in prison.
That would take more building knowledge than I had, and when I suggested we hire a contractor, Hank pulled out his phone and called Bear, Brawley’s father. After throwing around suggestions while talking to Bear on speaker, it was decided that he’d cut a hole in the wall and install a sliding window that wasn’t big enough for a person to fit through, but would give Janis a good line of sight to see who was outside and talk to them while she gave them their dinner.
Hank had already made an appointment to have cameras installed outside and planned to have a monitor put on a wall somewhere in the kitchen so Janis could see all sides and areas of the building, even though he hadn’t exactly gotten her permission to do that. But that was Hank’s fight, not mine.
Now, here I was, cracking eggs by the dozen to help prep for the items Janis planned to make this evening while she supervised the renovations her father and I had put into place without her consent. Although he and I had been very happy when she didn’t put up too much of a fuss. I knew it was because of her reaction earlier when she had been alone here, and Hank had probably figured that out by her puffy eyes and bright red cheeks.
That also worried me because she’d told me that was the first sign that there might be a flare on the way. It wasn’t a sure sign, but it was one of them, and I hated the thought of the woman I loved in pain.
That was going to be something I’d have to get used to. Everything I’d read about lupus terrified me, but I was in this for the long haul. I was more than ready for “in sickness and in health” like the vows said. I just needed to figure out how to get that stubborn woman to agree to marry me.
We had the rest of our lives, though, so there really wasn’t any rush.