11. Collie #4
He carried me back to the center of the yard and took a seat.
I stayed on his lap, burying my face in his shoulder and fighting back tears as he gently rocked us back and forth.
He rubbed my back as I said softly, “The yard is amazing, and that swing set is so great. Thank you. I can’t believe you did that for me. ”
“I’m glad you like it.”
I kept my head on his shoulder as I asked, “How did you do all of this?”
“I hired the couple who did Yolanda and JoJo’s yard.
They’re really sweet, and super talented.
I gave them a rough idea of what I was looking for, and they totally exceeded my expectations.
One thing I told them was that I wanted something to reflect my heritage, so three of the trees are a common type of cherry tree that’s grown all throughout South Korea.
They’ll bloom with pale pink flowers in the springtime. ”
“That’s really cool. What else did you tell them you wanted?”
“I asked for a garden that felt soothing, so they went with a color palette of blue, white, and purple. They also included elements for each of the senses, including a bed of edible herbs.”
“It’s perfect.”
“I think so, too. And it’s amazing that they got all of this done in a week, since that’s how long you were supposed to be in the hospital. I think being outside can be therapeutic, so I wanted you to have someplace peaceful and comfortable to spend time while you heal.”
“How did they get all of this back here? The yard’s not accessible from the street.”
“They brought everything through the house. They tried to bring bigger trees at first, but they wouldn’t fit through the doors.”
When I shivered, Miller immediately took off his zippered hoodie and draped it over my shoulders. I stuck my arms through the sleeves and thanked him before saying, “I’ve been so distracted by everything that I haven’t asked how your meeting went.”
“It wasn’t great. We met with the whole team and did yet another brainstorming session, which didn’t help much.
I totally get what they’re asking for, and I know I haven’t been delivering.
So now, I have one last chance. If I don’t provide them with something useable by this time next week, I’m probably getting demoted. ”
“I’m sorry, Miller. I know I’ve been a huge distraction, and all those hours you spent with me at the hospital took time away from your job.”
“No, don’t apologize. I was struggling with my creativity long before I met you,” he said. “And I really wanted to be with you when you were in the hospital. That was important.”
I gave him a hug, and both of us lingered in it for a long moment. When I leaned back a little and met his gaze, there was something that looked an awful lot like longing in his eyes.
But then he said, “Let’s get you back to bed. You’ve had a busy afternoon, and it’s only your first day out of the hospital.”
Miller carried me inside and tucked me under the covers.
Then he told me he was going to put the macaroni and cheese in the oven, and I watched him as he left the room.
As soon as he was gone, I zipped up his jacket, slid down into it so it partially covered my face, and breathed in his clean, familiar scent.
What the hell was I doing?
I sat up again and whispered to myself, “Get a grip, Collie.”
I managed to eat a bowl of JoJo’s amazing mac and cheese for dinner, and then I ended up falling asleep right after that. When I woke up, it was a few minutes to midnight. I got up and used the bathroom, and then I went to find Miller.
He’d made up a bed for himself on the couch, which he hadn’t bothered to fold out. The lights were dim, and he was reading something on his iPad. I stood in the doorway and frowned.
He looked up at me and asked, “Is something wrong, Collie?”
“Yes. I’m sleeping in your bed, and you’re here in the office.”
“It’s fine.”
“No, it isn’t. That’s a king-size mattress. There’s plenty of room for both of us.”
“You need a restful night’s sleep, without me jostling you.”
“You won’t. I already have Al Gore beside me acting as a barrier, so I won’t roll over.” I was supposed to sleep on my back while I healed, which had taken a lot of getting used to. “If he’s between us, I’ll barely know you’re there.”
He grinned and said, “I was wondering what you’d named your new alligator.”
“It’s the obvious choice, an alligator named Al, who gores his victims…”
“I get it.”
“Please come and sleep in your own bed. I feel guilty for kicking you out. Plus, I’d like the company.”
Miller couldn’t come up with any more excuses, so he threw back the covers and stood up. He was dressed in a tank top and gym shorts, and my gaze automatically ran up and down his body. When he noticed me checking him out, I turned and hurried back to the bedroom.
We both climbed under the covers on either side of Al Gore. I shut off the light and hugged my smallest gator to my chest as I whispered, “Good night, Miller.”
“Good night, Collie.”
It only took him a few minutes to fall asleep, but I was wide awake. All I could do was lie there in the dark, acutely aware of him. He was only a few inches away. I desperately wanted to reach out and touch him… wake him up… kiss him. Instead, I stayed where I was and pressed my eyes shut.
He didn’t think of me as anything more than a friend. I needed to accept that.