Chapter 9 #2
“This conversation is over, Livianna.” He marches to the door and opens it for me with cold politeness. “I hope you and Cash find happiness together. You deserve that.”
The dismissal cuts deeper than anger ever could. This clinical courtesy, this polished distance, it’s worse than shouting. It’s a door closing forever.
I stagger toward him on unsteady legs, pausing when I reach the doorway. “For what it’s worth, I never stopped loving you. Even when I was trying to.”
Something flickers across his face, gone before I can read it. “Goodbye, Livianna.”
I step into the hallway, and the door closes behind me with a soft, final click. I swallow my tears and try to put myself back together.
My phone buzzes in my purse. It’s probably Callum wondering where I am, ready to take me to breakfast, and trying to continue building something I’m not sure of.
But all I can think about is the letter I never read, the words I never saw, and the man in that office who’s probably already dialing Singapore, burying his heartbreak in spreadsheets and profit margins.
The elevator ride down feels like a descent into hell. Each floor number that lights up reminds me of climbing up with Callum this morning.
He was full of hope and possibility, and I was trying to get there. Now I'm hollow, scraped clean by truths I wasn’t expecting to hear.
Jax wrote me two pages explaining his love, his fear, and his hope for our future. And I never saw a single word.
My phone buzzes again. Callum’s name flashes on the screen with a text that makes my chest cave in further.
Callum: Found a place with outdoor seating. Perfect weather for it. Can’t wait to hear about your meeting.
Your meeting. I roll my eyes at myself.
The lie I told him so I could run to another man and scratch open wounds I didn’t know existed. This situation is a horror story happening in real time.
I find Callum at a bistro three blocks away, sitting at a corner table with his face tilted toward the sun.
He’s ordered coffee for both of us, and there’s a plate of pastries waiting as if he’s already planning to take care of me. The sight should warm me. Instead, it makes me want to disappear.
“There she is.” His smile is so genuine it hurts. “How did your call go?”
I slide into the chair across from him, my hands shaking as I reach for the coffee. “It was...difficult.”
“Work has a tendency to be like that.” He studies my face, concern creeping into his expression. “You look pale. Are you feeling okay?”
“I’m fine.” The lie tastes like sawdust.
“Lily.” His voice goes soft, the way it used to when he could read my moods like weather patterns. “What’s wrong?”
Everything.
The man I’m in love with just dismissed me from his life. I lied to you to go see him. I’ve been keeping secrets from both of you. And now I’m sitting here pretending I know what I want when I’ve never been more lost.
“Just tired.” I take a sip, hoping the caffeine will steady me.
He reaches across the table, covering my hand with his. The touch is gentle, familiar, everything Jax’s cold politeness wasn’t. But instead of comfort, I feel like a fraud.
“You know what? Let’s not talk about work.” Callum’s thumb caresses the top of my hand. “Let’s talk about us and the last couple of days.”
My stomach drops. “Callum…”
“I know we said we’d take things slow, but Lily, being with you again feels like it used to when things were good.” His blue eyes are bright with hope. “I keep thinking about that kiss in the hallway and the way you looked at me when you said we could see where this goes.”
The kiss. The same one Jax witnessed, the moment that shattered whatever chance we might have had.
“It was nice,” I manage.
“Nice?” Callum laughs, but there’s uncertainty underneath. “That’s all?”
“I just…” My throat constricts. “I need time to process everything.”
“Of course.” He lifts my hand to his lips, pressing a soft kiss to it. “I’m not trying to rush you. I just want you to know that I’m all in. Whatever you need, however long it takes, I’m here.”
The promise should be a gift. Instead, it’s a weight I can’t carry. He’s offering me patience, love, presence, commitment, and all I can think about is the man who just told me goodbye with the efficiency of ending a business meeting.
“What if I’m not good for you?” My gaze connects with Callum’s.
His brow furrows. “Why wouldn’t you be?”
“What if I’m too messed up emotionally? What if I can’t get all the way there again, and I end up hurting you?”
“Hey.” He leans forward, his grip on my hand tightening. “Where’s this coming from? Just a little while ago, you seemed ready to try.”
Yeah, when I thought Jax had abandoned me without explanation. I didn’t know about the two pages of love letters I never received.
I was running toward you to escape the pain of losing him, convincing myself I was trying to give us another shot because the things I thought were true never were.
“Callum, I just don’t want either of us to get hurt. You especially.”
“That’s my risk to take.” His voice is firm but gentle. “Lily, I’ve been waiting years for this chance. I’m not afraid of messy. I’m not afraid of your past, or your scars, or whatever demons you think make you unworthy of my love.”
The tears I’ve been holding back finally spill over. “You should be.”
“Why? Because you’ve lived a life without me and made mistakes? Because you’re human?”
He reaches for a napkin, dabbing at my cheeks with the same tenderness he has shown me since we met up at Coachella.
“Lily, I’ve made mistakes just like you. Fucking big ones. But that doesn’t mean we don’t deserve happiness.”
“What if I can’t give you what you need?”
“What if you can?” He cups my face in his hands, forcing me to look at him. “What if we stop focusing on all the ways this could go wrong and trust that maybe, finally, the timing is right for us?”
I want to believe him. I want to fall into his certainty and let him love away all the jagged pieces Jax just left behind.
But sitting here, letting Callum comfort me while my heart is still bleeding for another man, is the cruelest kind of lie.
“I don’t deserve you,” I whisper.
“Let me decide what I deserve.” His thumb traces my cheekbone. “I love you, Lily. The broken parts, the scared parts, and the parts you think are unlovable. I love all of it.”
And that’s what breaks me completely. Because he means it.
He’s here, present, offering me everything I thought I wanted from Jax. The truth is, I can see my future with Callum spread out before us, built on shared history, comfort, and genuine affection.
But love isn’t always about what’s comfortable. Sometimes it’s about the person who sees your chaos and loves you anyway.
Sometimes it’s about the man who builds panic rooms because he understands that some pain is too big for normal coping mechanisms. And sometimes it’s about the love that scares you because losing it would ruin you completely.
“What are you thinking, Lily?”
“You’re patient with me, and I love you for it.” It’s true. But it’s not the whole truth.
Sitting here in the sun, letting him plan our future while I mourn the loss of the man I can’t have, I realize that sometimes the worst thing you can do to someone is love them halfway.
Which means I have to make a choice that’s going to wreck one of us.