Chapter 14 #2
“No arguing. You want me to stay and take care of you? This is me doing that.” I pull open the fridge and scan the contents. Not much. Some yogurt, fruit, and what looks like leftover takeout. “When’s the last time you went grocery shopping?”
“I don’t know. A week? Two?”
No wonder she looks like she’s lost ten pounds. I grab the yogurt and an apple, then rummage through her cabinets for crackers. “You need proper food. I’m ordering groceries.”
“You don’t have to do that.”
“Yeah, I do.” I set the snacks in front of her. “Eat while I order.”
She glares at the food as if it personally offended her. “I’m not hungry.”
“Oh, well. Your blood sugar has probably tanked. That’s not helping anything.”
“I said I’m not—”
“Livianna.” I crouch down again so we’re eye level. “Please, just eat a few bites for me.”
“Fine.” Her fingers tremble as she picks up the yogurt and peels back the lid.
“Thank you.” I pull out my phone and start adding items to an Instacart order. Bread, eggs, fresh vegetables, fruit, chicken, and pasta. All the basics.
She takes a small bite. Then another. I watch her from the corner of my eye while I finish the grocery order.
“Callum?”
“Yeah?”
“Why are you doing this?”
I glance up from my phone. She’s studying me with this expression I can’t quite read. Vulnerable and guarded at the same time.
“Because I love you,” I say it like it’s the most obvious thing in the world. Because it is. “And when you love someone, you take care of them when they’re falling apart.”
Her eyes well up. “I’m not falling apart.”
“Okay. Then I’m just taking care of you because I wanna. Is that allowed?”
She takes a bite of the apple instead of answering.
I finish the grocery order and hit submit. “Food will be here in an hour. Until then, you’re gonna sit here and finish eating. Then we’re gonna move you to the couch, and you’re gonna rest while I make sure you’re actually okay.”
“I told you I’m fine.”
“Humor me.” I pull out the chair next to her and sit. “Because five minutes ago you were unconscious on your floor and I’m still trying to get my heart rate back to normal.”
Her expression drops. “I scared you?”
“Terrified me. When you stopped talking on the phone, I thought I was gonna lose you.”
She reaches out, her hand covering mine on the table. “I’m sorry.”
“Don’t apologize. Just try not to do it again.” I turn my hand over, lacing our fingers together. “We can talk about how you’re feeling. I wanna work through your fears about us, together. I wanna…be here for you.”
She nods but doesn’t say anything.
“Did last night put you off?”
“Kind of.” She pulls her hand back, wrapping both arms around herself. “It’s a lot of things.”
“All right. We don’t have to talk about it right now.” I stand and hold out my hand. “Come on. Let’s get you to the couch.”
She takes my hand and lets me help her up. She’s steadier now, but I keep a hand on her lower back as we work our way to the living room.
The couch is massive, covered in cream-colored cushions. She curls up in one corner, pulling a throw blanket over her lap. I sit on the opposite end, giving her space.
“Do you wanna watch something? Or just rest?”
“I don’t know.” She stares at the blank TV screen. “My brain won’t stop moving.”
“Yeah, that’s the aftermath of a panic attack. You should know that by now. You don’t need me lecturing you.” I grab the remote and turn on the TV, flipping to something mindless.
There’s a nature documentary on. Perfect.
“Try to focus on this, Lily. Let your mind slow down.”
“Thanks.” She turns her head, but she seems to be somewhere else.
Her fingers twist in the blanket and the tension in her shoulders hasn’t eased even a fraction. Her jaw clenches and releases over and over.
I monitor her instead of the show. There’s more going on here than last night’s drama with Zara and Sebastian.
Unease settles in my gut. She’s hiding something from me, but pushing her right now will only make her shut down.
She needs to calm down and feel safe before she’ll let me in. I stay quiet and present, preparing to be here for her when she’s ready.
Because that’s what you do when you love someone. You show up, stay, and hold space for their chaos, even when you don’t understand it. And you wait for them to trust you enough to let you in.
The nature documentary plays in the background. Some narrator talks about the migration patterns of Arctic birds. Livianna’s breathing finally evens out, and her shoulders drop just an inch or two.
“Callum?”
“Yes, love?”
“Thank you for coming.” Her voice is small and fragile. “I know I didn’t give you much choice, but thank you for being here.”
“There’s nowhere else I’d rather be.”
She glances away, and for a moment I see past all her walls. I see the scared girl underneath the successful designer, the woman who’s carrying more weight than anyone should have to carry alone.
“I wish I could tell you everything,” she whispers.
“Then tell me.”
She shakes her head. “I can’t. Not yet.”
“There’s nothing wrong with that.” I reach over and rub her thigh. “But when you’re ready, I’m here.”
“Thanks.” She sinks further into the couch.
We sit in silence. The distance between us is like we’re miles away even though we’re only a few feet apart.
My phone buzzes. The grocery delivery is fifteen minutes out.
“I’m gonna put the food away when it gets here.” I place my phone on her coffee table. “You just rest.”
“Okay.”
The documentary switches to a show about penguins. Livianna pulls the blanket tighter around herself.
I need to be here for her and not let the fear of losing her again get in the way, even as my gut twists with the sense that this isn’t just about us.
Whatever she’s fighting feels bigger than trepidation and heavier than doubt. And the way it settles between us tells me one thing I’m not ready to face.
This situation isn’t over. Not by a long shot.