Chapter 18 - Hunter
I’ve been watching Tessa all evening without being obvious about it, which is a skill set I happen to have and am not above using, especially when it comes to her.
She was uncomfortable when she came downstairs, and I felt it before I saw it. The bond made it obvious enough, and has been feeding me information I didn’t ask for, yet can’t return.
She braced herself, but even so, she stood in the middle of the living room anyway and found her footing among strangers.
I wanted so badly to go stand next to her, but I didn’t. That would have made it worse, since I didn’t want to crowd her or force this on her more than I already have. Being smothered is the last thing she needs.
Fortunately, the girls handle it well, and they welcome Tessa easily.
Within ten minutes, Tessa had found the wine and said something that made Lila laugh, and the tension moving through our bond had eased enough for me to relax little by little.
Now, an hour in, I’m in the kitchen with the guys, but I can feel something warmer from Tessa.
In fact, it’s the warmest she has felt in some time.
I wouldn’t call it happiness necessarily, but she has the pleasant ease of being unexpectedly surprised by something, and is allowing herself to exist in it without fighting it.
Knowing that her world isn’t crashing down around her makes me feel better than I thought it would.
“So, how long has this been a thing?” Dominic asks.
The other three look at me with equal curiosity, and given how I haven’t provided much for them to work with in terms of my mate, I already know they’re bursting with questions.
“The bond’s been there most of my life,” I admit, already feeling the subtle shifts in their focus.
Caleb raises an eyebrow. “Most of your life?”
“I was aware of it since we were young,” I murmur, absently rubbing at my jaw. “I just didn’t act on it; then I went away.”
“For how long?”
“Long enough.”
Dominic huffs, sounding faintly amused. “Let me guess, you weren’t ready?”
I pick up my glass and nod. “Pretty much.”
The silence that follows doesn’t feel like a judgmental one, but it’s more like they’re recalibrating.
They’ve seen me in conditions that stripped everything nonessential away, watched me make hard calls in difficult places, and came out the other side with me.
They know my capacity, and it seems they’re trying to wrap their heads around a version of me they never knew.
“The pack gave her a rough time,” Caleb says carefully, filling in the blanks. He knows that all too well.
“Yes. And I only made it worse.”
Each one of them zeroes in on that fact, and another bout of silence follows. I expect Dominic to ask the follow-up question to that, but Caleb beats him to it.
“How so?”
I stop to consider my words, aware that I could try to save face here and give them the version that is both easier to say and easier to digest. These are the people closest to me, and while I try to be honest whenever I can, I’m not used to opening myself up for deep inspection like this.
“The night my dad died, her parents didn’t alert anyone of the Wraith Peak wolves they saw near the outskirts, so they were blamed for it.
But because they died, Tessa was the one who experienced the worst of it,” I tell them, taking a steadying breath.
“Even though I could already feel something between us, I was one of the people blaming her. I avoided the bond by alienating her, and I used the situation as a cover for it. I saw how the others treated her, but even when I started to pull back, I didn’t stop them. I should have, but I didn’t.”
The kitchen is quiet for a moment, and I know with certainty now that they’re all at odds with the Hunter they know and pieces of the one I just revealed to them.
“Damn,” Dominic murmurs.
“I wouldn’t have expected that from you,” Luke says without hostility.
“Neither would I,” I say, letting go of a deep breath while I lean back against the counter. “Which almost makes it worse.”
“I’m not going to pretend like any of us have been perfect in the past either,” Caleb starts, watching me with the expression he gets when he’s deciding something. “But you feel it now… the regret.”
“Every time I look at her.”
I say it plainly because it is that simple. Seeing the lasting effects of how many years are written in the way she moves through a room and the way she flinches is not something I’ve found a way to be comfortable with.
“I know what I did to her, and I don’t get to pretend like it didn’t happen.”
Zane nods slowly to himself. “Then you know what you need to do.”
“I do,” I agree, already on the difficult path forward. “I’m trying to prove myself to her, but sometimes I don’t know if I’m doing enough.”
“We know who you are, and what you’re capable of when you decide to go after something,” Caleb tells me, reaching over to grab the whiskey. He pours it slowly, then pushes a glass to me. “It’s Tessa who needs to find out the same. You’ll get there.”
Picking up the glass, I glance out to the living room to track the noise and the warm light cascading over the girls.
Unexpectedly, Tessa glances over at me again, and our eyes meet just like they had earlier. That’s something else I’ve picked up on tonight… even if she doesn’t trust me, or doesn’t know where we stand, she finds me in the group anyway, more like it’s second nature. That has to count for something.
Her expression looks complicated before she looks away, as if she’s struggling with her thoughts too.
The bond responds to that brief eye contact like it’s the most significant thing to happen tonight, and I try to keep it down.
***
The house has gone quiet by midnight, with everyone splitting off to get some rest.
Dominic fell asleep on the couch unceremoniously while the other couples took up the spare rooms, and I now stand in the dark hallway listening to the house settle with everyone inside.
And, of course, the pull in my chest points me towards our room, where I already know Tessa is.
With a slow breath to brace myself, I approach and step into the room while she’s dressed in sleepwear and brushing out her hair.
It takes great restraint not to react to the way that soft fabric clings in all the right places, leaving little to the imagination. Or maybe I’m so post-ceremony repressed that I find everything about her alluring.
Tessa pauses her movements and looks at me with quiet consideration, likely deciding how much energy she wants to expend in this conversation.
“Is everyone settled?” she asks.
“Dominic took the couch without asking.”
“Did you expect different?”
“No. I was going to make him sleep there anyway,” I murmur, heading over to the closet to grab something to wear. I glance at her. “How are you doing after tonight?”
She focuses her gaze somewhere on the floor while she idly runs the bristles through the length of her hair, already perfectly brushed. “I’m fine.”
“Tessa.”
“Hunter.” She says it in the exact cadence I said hers, which is deliberate and funny enough for it to move something in my chest. “I am fine, and you don’t have to keep checking in like I’m fragile. Your friends aren’t what I expected.”
I hesitate at that and lift a curious brow at her. “Good or bad?”
“Good.” She says it as an admission that even she hadn’t anticipated. “The girls were easy to talk to. I didn’t expect that.”
“They liked you,” I tell her, because they did. It isn’t just me telling her something to make her feel better about the situation.
Lila and Sera told me directly, and Naia seemed especially impressed with her once she opened up more.
Tessa’s expression changes slightly, and I sense that it’s also the good kind of change. Likely not knowing what to do with it, she looks away and sets the brush aside.
I cross the room without fully registering it, and I find myself on the edge of the bed next to her.
I’m close enough for the bond to light up at the proximity, both impatient for more and vaguely satisfied by that small step. I know she feels it too, given the slight change in her breathing and the way she goes perfectly still.
Bracing myself for potential rejection, I push forward anyway.
“I know this isn’t what you would have chosen…
the way everything happened. I know that, and I’m not asking you to be okay with it yet.
” I look at her fully, tracing the line of her jaw, before taking in how soft her eyes look under the lamplight.
“I just want you to know I see it. What everything takes out of you. I know it’s not fair that I’ve asked all of this from you despite everything. ”
Somehow, she seems to freeze up even more, and she swallows hard. “Hunter… you don’t need to do this.”
“Do what?”
“You don’t need to try and make things better just because we had an okay night,” she murmurs before letting go of a soft exhale. “I’m tired.”
While she does look physically tired, I know she means it more in the emotional sense. It hasn’t been an easy few weeks for her.
Beyond that, she’s silently telling me it isn’t fair of me to do this right now, and she’s right. I can feel the wavering in her, how the bond is looking for gaps in her resistance. She knows it, too, and neither of us can pretend otherwise.
Wanting to keep her focus on me, I don’t look away, and neither does Tessa.
The distance between us feels like nothing as the bond pulls with quiet demand, and I can see in her eyes that she feels the same thing.
Her defenses are thinner than they were an hour ago, and while I’m not necessarily trying to wear her down, something in me just wants to feel that passion between us again.
So I lean in, just enough to make my intentions known.
Tessa’s eyes widen fractionally, and her gaze drops down to my lips before she can stop herself.
And just when I prepare myself to cut the rest of that space, breath carefully exchanged between us, she pulls back.
It’s a deliberate enough withdrawal to send a message, and her eyes shift to another place in the room entirely.
Not yet.
I sit back immediately, forcing myself to withdraw and ignore the way that subtle movement crushes against my chest.
The bond screams about the distance, feeling like the most tangible it has been since we first initiated it. My inner wolf needs and wants Tessa more than anything, but she isn’t there. If she can’t get past those mental barriers yet, then I’m not going to force it.
With an exhale, I put both hands in my lap and gather myself all over again.
“Sorry,” I murmur to her as I stand and resume getting ready before I lose my mind entirely.
Tessa doesn’t say anything while I change into more comfortable bottoms and forgo a shirt entirely, since it feels more like I’m burning up beneath my skin. Though I feel her gaze on me, and that doesn’t slip my mind.
Eventually, I make my way over to the other side of the bed and get in, silently telling myself not to push this. To respect her boundaries and let her see how much I mean this, and how much I want her to be all-in, on her terms.
Once the bedroom is dark and we settle in, it takes everything in me to ignore the fire in my chest and the deep-seated yearning that starves for more.
More of the bond, more attention, and more of her.
“Goodnight, Tessa,” I manage to say while I’m keenly aware of the space between us.
“Night.”
She needs time, I tell myself, regardless of how much it hurts. Give it time.