Chapter 19 - Tessa
The others are still sleeping when I get up, aside from Hunter, who went out to do a quick perimeter check.
Dominic is still quietly snoring on the couch when I walk by with my mug in hand on the way to the patio door. On the porch, I listen to the birds sing their morning songs, to the swaying branches and the rustling leaves.
In this peace, I try to find something within me that feels like equilibrium, but I still can’t find it.
Instead, I find the persistent static in the bond, which has worsened since last night. Since Hunter sat on the edge of the bed and tried to kiss me. But I pulled back and watched the new kind of patience he has been showing unfold in his features.
That was it.
He didn’t push. Instead, we both went to bed, and I sat in the dark for an hour afterward, feeling every second the bond was screaming at me to act. It only made the distance between us feel bigger and that much harder to ignore.
I’m annoyed with myself for even feeling drawn to him, since it doesn’t seem to help me at all. Instead, it’s only making matters worse and doing everything in its power to bring us together.
But even if that part of me does want him and this connection, wanting something isn’t the same as it being right to take.
There’s still so much sitting between us that hasn’t been named, and too many things I’ve been holding back.
After years of accumulated weight, the damage of being looked through by someone whose notice would have meant something isn’t something I can just brush aside. That kind of wound doesn’t close because he decided to see me one day and let that interaction trigger a domino effect.
It’s something that closes slowly, if it does at all, through consistency over time, and I don’t have that yet.
I have a few weeks with a few warm days scattered throughout, and a bond inside me that is completely biased.
Either way, I drink my coffee and watch the light come up through the trees. I’m trying to be honest with myself about the difference between caution that’s protecting me and caution that’s become a habit I use to avoid being hurt again. By the end of it, I don’t come to a satisfying conclusion.
Eventually, more noise reaches me from the porch as the others get up. I hear their voices as they grab coffee and food, but I stay where I am and let everything unfold behind me while I focus on breathing.
Naia moves almost silently when she steps out, but I still catch her presence anyway. With her own mug in hand, she sits down next to me and doesn’t say anything initially. Instead, she gives me a subtle nod in greeting, then we sit in silence.
I appreciate it, and I think she knows, even though I didn’t say it.
We sit for a long moment, simply looking out at the territory below.
“It’s a good view,” she eventually says, not asking too much of me from the start.
“It is,” I agree, and while I know it isn’t much to return with, I don’t know what else to say.
A few birds move somewhere along the tree line while the temperature slowly rises as the sun climbs. It’s warm against my back, and made less intense with the subtle breeze sweeping through.
“I used to do this often when I first started seeing Zane,” Naia says, glancing at me with a more supportive look than I expect from her. “I’d go somewhere outside when I needed to be away from everything going on until I felt steady enough to handle it.”
Glancing at her, I have a feeling there’s more to it than that, so I stay quiet.
“Away from him,” she clarifies, with a subtle smile that suggests she can find that version of herself slightly funny now. “I had to get away from the situation when it was too much. That part of my life was something I never asked for, but I had to face it anyway.”
I look at her more directly, and the shade of her dark brown eyes suddenly looks all too familiar. Blinking back at her, the pieces fall into place.
“You’re Hayes’ sister.”
At that, her lips pull faintly, and she nods. “You guessed it. I’m the one who managed to slip away, and now I’m with Zane in Delmont.”
The words completely evade me while I look at her, feeling like an idiot for not realizing it sooner.
Even though I was isolated for most of my life, I still heard stories of the Wraith Peak wolves, mostly about the Voss family.
From what I was told, I expected Naia to be more intense and aggressive, but seeing her now, she looks the complete opposite.
She has a composed face that’s surprisingly open and receptive, yet there’s a notable softness there, more like she has come to terms with something that was once painful. I can likely guess why that is now.
“It took me a while to realize Zane wasn’t my enemy, but the one trying to help me overcome everything that weighed me down,” she says, allowing that familiar warmth shared between them to settle in her gaze again.
“It’s different for everyone. What happened between us was complicated, and I don’t know the full details of your story with Hunter, but I know what it looks like. ”
More curious now than I care to admit, I lift my brows in silent question.
“When someone is standing next to something and isn’t inside it yet. You’re keeping one foot out because you’re wary of everything going wrong again.”
I look back at the tree line and swallow back how much I don’t want to jump into things initially. “He told you what happened then.”
“Zane told me some of it,” she admits, offering me that same look of understanding. “They care about him, and they didn’t know much about his past, or you.”
“I know.”
And I do know. Last night confirmed that, given how easily they included me, they required nothing specific from me in return. They didn’t act like most in the pack would around me.
“Can I say something?” Naia asks after a moment.
“You’ve been building to it.”
She huffs out a small and genuine laugh.
“Don’t lose the part of you that knows what happened,” she says, turning the mug in her hands.
“I mean it. The instinct to protect yourself, the list of what went wrong, and every way you’ve had to shape your life since, those aren’t weaknesses.
It’s information that you got from somewhere real.
But there’s a difference between using it to protect yourself, and letting it stop you from having anything worthwhile. ”
While her words sink in, I don’t say anything.
“I stayed outside for a long time,” she says, quieter. “I kept one foot out and told myself I was being smart and careful. And some of that was true, but I also didn’t see how much it was making me resist the very person who cared the most.”
The woods around us feel still now, almost like the world is forcing me to focus on this very moment.
Naia takes a deep breath. “Hunter looked at you last night, and I don’t know how to describe it except to say he wasn’t performing it. Even someone like him couldn’t fake that.”
Before I can stop myself, I think about the edge of the bed last night, and how he was trying to check in with me. How he wanted to kiss me, genuinely, but I turned it down.
My chest tightens, and I urge myself to speak.
“I can see that he means well,” I begin carefully, struggling to admit it out loud. “But it doesn’t change what happened before.”
“You’re right,” she agrees with a small nod. “It doesn’t automatically change anything. Meaning well and having done the work are different things, and only you know how much work is still needed.”
Hearing that from someone outside the situation is more vindicating than I expected, and I find myself leaning towards it more than I thought I would.
“I’m not telling you to blindly trust him, but I am advising against deciding in advance that it’s impossible. For as infuriating as Hunter and the guys can be, they aren’t bad people.”
The distinction settles in my chest and doesn’t immediately dissolve, which has to count for something.
“Zane was unbearably reserved when I reunited with him,” she says, and the admiration in her voice when she says it is so genuine that it catches me off guard.
“I mean that lovingly… he was so stern and closed off. He had no idea what he was doing emotionally, and I was furious with him for a long time. I was right to be until he proved that he could be vulnerable and honest with me.”
“And here you are,” I say, able to see the connection between the two of them so clearly.
“Here we are,” she repeats with a smile.
We stay outside until the others start trickling out, and the conversation becomes more relaxed as Lila and Sera join us.
Dominic is busy texting someone while Zane and Caleb take in what remains of the sun with unreadable expressions. Luke and Sera talk briefly about their little one, checking in with whoever’s watching her. They both look anxious to get back despite enjoying their short time away.
Eventually, everyone stops shielding their eyes as the sun disappears behind a heavy mass of clouds that seems to take over completely.
By the time the wind picks up a bit more and a very telling darkness settles in, Hunter returns from his perimeter check.
He finds me first in the group, looking me over briefly as if checking to make sure I’m alright.
It’s subtle, but enough to make my stomach squirm.
“There’s a storm coming,” Caleb says, still looking at the sky. Given the more serious expression on his face, he can feel that it won’t be just a quick shower. “And a good size one, from the feel of it.”
The temperature has dropped what feels like several degrees since the others joined me, and I really notice it now.
The quality of the air feels heavier and almost charged, like it’s waiting for the chance to finally break.
“How long?” Hunter asks, crossing his arms as he takes a closer look, too.
“Likely within the next few hours, which means we should probably head out soon.”
The others nod among themselves, surely taking mental note of whatever they need to do to prepare.
The energy on the porch shifts, and within five minutes, the conversation turns to preparations and getting home in time.
Bags and belongings are gathered, more subtle congratulations are given, and their cars start to fill after the girls offer me warm goodbyes.
They head out, suddenly leaving the house feeling very empty.
But Dominic is the exception.
He’s still on the porch when the others pull away, leaning against the railing and watching as the sky continues to change little by little.
When we both look at him, he hums. “I can help with getting the pack ready for the storm.”
“You don’t have to,” Hunter says.
“I know, but since Luke was getting tired of me bumming around in Coldreach, I figured I’d drop myself here for a bit,” Dominic muses.
Hunter huffs, but he looks more amused than anything. “You mean his sister is getting tired of you being around?”
“Something like that.”
Despite that being the claim, Dominic’s grin isn’t repentant in the slightest.
The two of them eventually disappear to get things in order while I stand on the porch alone and feel the changed air moving around me.
It’s mostly warm with a cool undercurrent, and the clouds move much faster than they did before.
Even in the middle of an approaching storm, Naia’s voice sits somewhere in the back of my mind.
Don’t decide in advance that it’s impossible.
The storm rolls closer, and I go inside to take cover.