29
Ella
September 2018
“H ow did you find us, Dean?” Matt breaks the awkward silence.
Dean’s eyes don’t leave me; they tell me everything I need to know. He knows, and he’s angry .
“Who is this, Ella, huh? Who is this?” Dean finally demands
He just wants to hear me say it, and I don’t want to give him the satisfaction of saying it out loud.
“Go on, Ella, tell me,” Dean demands, but this time he changes. He’s calm and quite collected.
We both know as we keep staring at each other what this is: a power play. He wants to hear me say it, but I won’t give it to him. We’re both sparring silently for control. He wants to remain the king, while the bit of freedom I’ve given myself now is making me fight for the crown instead.
The funny thing about crowns is that they eventually weigh heavily, and Dean’s head can’t hold it for much longer.
The other funny thing about wearing a crown is you’ll have lots of enemies in the background, conspiring, and it’s usually those closest to you that you want to worry about. Maybe Dean didn’t get that memo when he crowned himself king.
“I think we all know who I am, don’t we?” Matt breaks the silence, standing to the side but in between us like a referee.
I see it in his eyes when he looks back at me. The way the blue turns to a fiery, angry red. Dean’s known for a while. He’s known about Matt and kept quiet, until now, when it’s the most important thing.
“He’s my fiancé.” When the words escape, it feels like there’s a weight off my shoulders, like the brick wall in front of Matt and me has been broken.
And then time speeds up.
The moment Dean’s fist collides with Matt’s mouth, I dive across the room onto the floor, grabbing Matt in my arms as if he’s a precious heirloom about to shatter into a million pieces on the floor.
“What the fuck?” I yell as Bailey instantly starts barking protectively.
“It’s all right, Ells,” Matt whispers. There’s blood on his mouth. He stands up, wiping his mouth with his sleeve. “I’m not lowering myself to your level, man. Punch me, fine. But we both know you can throw as many as you like, but you’re not leaving with her. Ella has won.”
I open the back door so Bailey can run outside and turn to watch the two of them just glaring daggers at each other.
“I didn’t come here to leave with anyone,” Dean announces.
“Then sit the hell down and leave him alone,” I say, making sure I stand in between them this time. “He hasn’t done anything wrong.”
“You and I should be married by now,” Dean reminds me, his eyes moving between Matt and me. “Why did you leave?”
I don’t expect to laugh at his words, I don’t want to either. But a laugh escapes from my mouth that the Joker would probably be proud of.
“After everything, you’re asking me why ?”
“Did you leave for him, or did you leave because of me?” Dean asks calmly.
“Both.”
He nods and takes a step back, the single word hitting him like a punch to the stomach. I watch everything about him switch like a candle being doused in the wind; he’s defeated.
“Look, why don’t we have a cup of tea or whatever and sit and talk this out, instead of throwing our weights around?” Matt suggests.
I see the blood has finally dried on his lip. I watch Dean look up at him without malice and nod as he runs a hand through his hair. He has been conquered, like a video game boss who doesn’t die at the end because he needs to tell you something imperative. Dean knows he has to talk to me to even begin to try to win me around.
∞∞∞
“So, I guess I should start by asking the obvious question. What is going on here and how long has it been going on?” Dean asks.
I know it all makes sense; the coffee shop, the mug last Christmas, the cruise tickets, the offer to not be romantic with me after we got married… he’s known for years .
This is a play for that crown, so he can be in control. He wants me to be the one to tell him so he can play the innocence here. I won’t do it.
“How long have you known?” I ask instead.
“Wait, what ?” Matt interjects.
Both Dean and I ignore his question and glare at each other.
“I’ve suspected someone was in your life for a long time,” Dean admits, running the hand he punched Matt with through his hair. I see the blood on his knuckles and the deep red sends my heart racing in anger.
“Since when?” I ask.
“I have suspected since the coffee shop incident after Christmas two years ago,” Dean says, looking between the two of us. “I’m not stupid. That was me trying to warn you both off each other. I managed to put all the pieces together with the cruise. Do you think I didn’t know, Ella? You took your eye off the ball.”
I look at Matt and he shakes his head. We both know we were idiots. Idiots in love.
“When the description came back to me of the two people, I knew who Matthew was.”
“Why didn’t you bring it up?” I ask.
Dean sighs, “I’m not cruel to the bone, Ella. Having gone through what I went through with Quinn, I knew it would be cruel of me to try and put a stop to what you were doing. I left you both to… whatever it was, until the day we got the date for the wedding. I assumed you wouldn’t be as na?ve as to not tell him what the deal was. As you told me when we went for dinner – I had a life before I was told, why shouldn’t you? I guess I was stupid enough not to realise how far this had gone.”
“You didn’t tell our families?”
“No. Because I know what they would do to him,” Dean says, and his eyes fall on Matt.
“Kill me?” Matt asks and Dean just nods in response. “Oh, how exciting.”
I shake my head at him. He’s not taking this seriously.
“Why would they kill him ?” It’s a stupid question; we both know the lengths Anthony can go to when he’s angry. So many times growing up, if I was clumsy around their house, I’d get slapped or threatened, especially if I stained the carpet or smashed a mug by accident. This is bigger than that, so I dread to think of the lengths he would go to now.
“Because this is serious , Ella. I’ll tell you, in time. But for now, if they find him, he is dead.” Dean points to Matt, whose joking demeanour has now been put out. He can sense the seriousness too.
“I thought you would both, to some extent, know how serious this is and let it run its course. I didn’t think you would both go this far to be together,” Dean adds with a sigh.
“How did you find us?” I question.
We’re on the same level now and he keeps forgetting it. In the space of a month, I’ve managed to shed my shell of a submissive business transaction and become my own person. To him, anyway. He’s about to find out that I’ve been slowly shedding that skin for the past three years, and it isn’t going to be pretty.
“We knew you’d put the penthouse on the market, we found out a couple of weeks after you—”
“A couple of weeks ? How did it take you that long?” I exclaim.
“The place is in your name. It took the police a while to do anything. We were eventually told that the leads they had were that your penthouse had been up for sale since the day after the party. They couldn’t get hold of your number. Then they wouldn’t tell us what estate agents you contacted, but I found out myself. I went to them and asked some questions that they refused to answer. I went over to the building after getting nowhere with the police – because I’m not a direct relative, they refused to talk to me—”
“What exactly were my parents doing in all of this?”
“Wedding planning. Being optimistic, then angry, then spending hours trying to get the police to do more or trying to pay them off to do more. Honestly, we both know your father is only angry because of the wedding,” Dean admits. “There’s no point trying to sugarcoat it.”
I take a long sip of the tea in front of me. Of course, my dad only cares about the wedding. He never cared about me once and we both know it.
“Eventually, I went to the concierge at your building to ask what he knew. Had to give him a large tip, but I found out you’d left the morning after the party with a man who frequented the building. Took me a lot of digging, but I found out you’d both abandoned your homes. It didn’t take me long to fill in the blanks and find this place. This… rendezvous cost me a lot of money and time, Ella. So, let me ask, was it worth it?”
I take that in before even considering his question. What the hell could be so important that they need to spend money and so much effort just to make sure this goes ahead?
“Was what worth it?” I ask.
“Well, let’s be honest with each other here; when I return and tell them you’re alive and well, and you ran away with another man, that’s it. You and your family lose everything. That’s the price, you’ve known that for a long time now—”
“You wouldn’t.” I narrow my eyes in his direction.
“Was this worth it, Ella?”
“Yes, it was. Every single second,” I admit. “We both know I was going to find a way out eventually.”
“Did you know about the arrangement?” Dean speaks to Matt.
“Yeah, I did.” Matty rests his arms on the table, clearly wanting to speak his piece. “We met the first day of uni, she told me pretty much straight away. I’ve always known, so don’t treat me like I’m not here, or as if I’m some second-class citizen.”
“You’ve been seeing each other for three years?” Dean questions, but it’s more of him wanting confirmation of his suspicions than anything else.
“Yeah,” I confirm.
Dean sits back in his seat and takes it in over a sip of his drink, the steam rising over his face, making him look like a villain.
I add, “I couldn’t care if you return, and my parents lose everything. I’m not going back; I’m never going back. You can get out of here, Dean. I’m not interested.”
He replaces the mug with a clink and sits forward in the chair. “My father is fuming; do you know that? The fallout from your display at the party sent ripples through the company, not just our families, Ella. They all realised something was amiss. My father accused yours of not raising you to respect the deal at hand. When we found out you’d gone missing, he started preparing to oust your father from everything. That is, presuming you’re alive. Your mother is scared that you’ve committed suicide.”
“Didn’t that cross your mind?” I question.
“No, because I knew you wouldn’t put plans in place like selling your home; you’re smarter than that. I knew it was so you could be with him. I’m not stupid.”
“So, what is the point of being here? We all know I’m not going anywhere, so what do you want?” I question. He stares between Matty and me for a good moment. When his eyes fall on me for longer than I anticipate, I don’t break his gaze. The last time he did this, it felt creepy, and I felt filthy. But this time, I’m not feeling that; I am better than him.
“What’s your plan?” Dean’s eyes stay on mine, and for a minute I expect him to look me up and down again, but he maintains eye contact for a few moments before looking at Matt.
“We’re getting married,” I say.
“And exactly how do you plan on keeping this up, Ella?”
“Because I’m legally noticed to get married to Matt. Even if I did go home, I’d have to willingly break that legality. Then I’d have to willingly give consent to marry you, which I never have and never will. Your father, my father, they have nothing,” I say, purposefully keeping quiet about being pregnant. As soon as my dad finds that nugget of information out, all hell will break loose.
“You seem to have done your research,” Dean acknowledges. “And then what? You get married and skip off into the sunset?”
“Move somewhere else, live our lives. Far away from you and those arseholes,” I retort.
“How did you both keep this up for three years? Did you ever question what would happen if Ella and I got married? Did it not break you, Matthew?”
“As I said, she told me straight away. Even told me we shouldn’t be together because all she cared about was being selfless for her family,” Matt answers, ignoring Dean’s last question. “She was so controlled by your family and hers that she was willing to give up love to stay faithful to your damn arrangement.”
“So, this was all your idea then?” Dean questions.
“No. This was my idea after your stunt at the party. We decided to leave long before that, but it was me who decided that night. After you did… that to me, there was no way I was ever going to go through with it. Even you knew that. I could see it in the way you looked at me before I got in the taxi, Dean. I could hear it in your voice.”
“You’re right,” he admits and looks down at the table. “I’d always secretly hoped you’d find your way out.”
I take my mug and sit forward. “No, you didn’t, don’t lie. You admitted you love me, you wanted this to work—”
“Do you remember Quinn?” he snaps, interrupting me. I nod. “You remember I told you all about her, and how I’d ended it with her?”
“Of course, I do.” I nod.
“I’ll go get the biscuits,” Matt announces and rushes into the kitchen. Never one to miss gossip.
“Around April, I bumped into her on my lunch break. It was weird. She’d moved close by to become a teacher,” Dean explains.
Matt places a plate of biscuits in the middle of the table and sits down again, his hand taking mine.
“I can already tell what you’re going to say,” I mention.
“Well, then it won’t surprise you to know that we met up the next day, and talked over everything that happened since we last saw each other. One thing led to another… and I tried to stay away, I was honest with her that I wanted to make the marriage with you work, out of respect. And then you told me that day that you only saw me as a brother, and when I discussed that with her, well, we didn’t stop,” Dean admits.
“I spoke to you about an open marriage, when we went to dinner, and you lied to me!”
“Well, you had him, so what did I have to lose?”
“Dean, you’re a fucking hypocrite—”
“So, don’t get married. This is simple, isn’t it?” Matty pipes up. We both look at him. “It’s clear you both love other people. We all know both sets of parents are just rich, egotistical bell ends. So, move on with your lives. Agree it’s never going to work.”
“You make it sound so simple. Ella, your parents love you. But this is so much bigger—”
“You know what? Everyone keeps saying that this is ‘so much bigger than me’ and telling me there’s more than just a marriage behind this. But no one tells me what the fuck is going on . If you have come here to talk to me, you will sit there and tell me what the hell this marriage pact is about. Then I will quite happily have a proper conversation with you about where we go from here.”
“You won’t back down from him even if I do tell you,” Dean says. “You’re only going to find out anyway, so I’ll tell you.”