30
Ella
September 2018
“Y ou remember hearing about my late sister, Joanna?” Dean asks as he takes a sip of tea.
“She died at sixteen of a heart condition, right?” I ask. “What has she got to do with us?”
“That’s what they want everyone to think,” Dean says, ignoring my question. He looks right through both Matt and me and stares at the wall. “The reality, Ella, is very different.”
“What does your sister have to do with us getting married?” I repeat.
“I will tell you everything. To be honest, I think you should have been told from the very beginning. Then you likely wouldn’t have done this, but whatever.”
“I’m listening,” I say. We both know he didn’t want me to know.
“So, my parents had Joanna when they were in their thirties. They were always going to be older parents—”
“Wait, so your parents are in their sixties?” Matt interrupts, and I don’t need to look at him to know he’s slightly amused. Dean just nods in confirmation. “No offence, but no wonder they’re so controlling—”
“Matty, stop,” I warn him. He immediately pretends to zip his mouth and throw away the key.
“Anyway, Joanna was the same age as your father, Ella. They met at school and apparently, fell in love. Childhood sweethearts, as my father told me,” Dean explains. “That’s how our parents became, well, involved with each other.”
“I always knew Dad and Joanna were friends. I didn’t realise they were in love,” I say.
“That and my mother was a teacher at the school,” Dean adds. “She didn’t teach your father.”
My eyes widen at that. I always thought of Amelia as never having a job and living as a housewife. I didn’t realise she had a life before; to me, she’s always been this nosy, traditionalist, stuck-up cow.
“Joanna and Adrian were together for a while. I’m not exactly sure how, but your father was in my mother’s office one day and found a lot of love letters from one of his friends to my mother—”
“What?”
Amelia was having an affair with a pupil… what the actual fuck?
I genuinely can’t imagine this. The same woman who turns her nose up at anything that shows more than a hint of skin, who can’t stand the idea of a woman holding down a job or having sex for fun… having an affair with someone she was meant to be teaching. Having an illegal, immoral affair would have her in prison for more than breaching her position of trust.
“She was having an affair with one of your father’s friends, yes,” Dean confirms. “No, I’m not proud of her, for what it’s worth.”
“And your father knows about this?” I demand.
I can tell as Matt sips his tea that he’s loving this gossip; anything to laud over Dean. Part of me wants to stop him, but honestly, it’s hilarious that suddenly Amelia, Anthony and Dean can no longer stand on their pedestals of model behaviour.
“Yeah, I’m getting to that part of the story. Your father took some of the evidence to confront them,” Dean starts again. “Around the same time, Joanna found out she was pregnant.”
“Wow, okay. And you’re okay defending this?” I demand.
“She found out at twelve weeks, so she kept it to herself until after her first scan. She told your father just after the scan, and it was Adrian who pushed her to tell my parents.” Dean ignores my comment. “He told Joanna about the affair between our mother and the pupil before this, however.”
“Can I just say that this would make a wonderful film?” Matt cuts in. “Also, this sounds like something that would happen in fiction, not a bloody catering company.”
Dean laughs.
Typical Dean, CEO of goddamn mood swings. He hated Matty five minutes ago and now they’re bonding over a fucking history session.
Dean sighs before carrying on. “Naturally, when they told my parents, they weren’t happy about the baby. Told her to get an abortion because she was too young. She didn’t want to get rid of it and wanted to have a happy life with your father. My father beat yours for getting his daughter pregnant. He showed them the evidence of my mother’s affair in retaliation. That’s how my father found out about it.”
I nod and drink my tea.
“This is sort of where the marriage contract comes in. Adrian threatened to go to the police about my mother. Joanna was stressed because of it. With my parents’ fortune, being high class in society and all of that, if any of this got out, they would be in hot water. They were trying to bargain with your father to keep quiet about it all,” Dean explains. “A few days after it all came out, my parents walked into Joanna’s room and found her dead. She hanged herself because she couldn’t take the stress any longer.”
“What the fuck, man, that’s awful,” Matt exclaims.
I squeeze his hand tighter.
The thought that my dad went through all that excitement of becoming a father, being with a girl at that age… and then having it ripped away like that. That’s just… awful .
Since I was sixteen, I always thought of him as the villain, someone who just thought of me as a business transaction and the promise of the money-fuelled life he leads now when really, he has a past as well.
“After a few days, my parents contacted Adrian to tell him what had happened. Let’s just say it didn’t go down very well. Each party blamed the other for their part in her mental health. Eventually, your father decided he wasn’t having any of it. I don’t know whether it was grief or what, but he told my parents if they couldn’t secure his lifestyle – so give him the job, money, and security – then he would go to the police with the evidence of my mother’s… indiscretions .”
While this history makes things clearer, it doesn’t make sense what this has to do with me and Dean. I don’t understand why the power of all of this is in our hands. I always knew there was more to this than money.
“So, let me get this straight – my father is blackmailing your father, right? Your parents’ crimes are hidden and so is my dad’s extortion and blackmail. Cool, so what the hell does that have to do with us? How does this stupid marriage pact come in?” I demand.
“My father wanted something more concrete than just your father’s word for it. My dad knew how easy it would be for Adrian to just anonymously give the police the evidence, so as a way to almost show respect, to sweeten the deal between them, my father came up with the marriage pact. Joining our families together via their children so everyone had a mutual reason to keep quiet. If your father or you break the deal, my family goes to the police to have him done for the extortion and blackmail. If my family breaks the deal, Adrian goes to the police about my mother.”
I shake my head. “But if they do that, then the accused party will just have the other side done by the police as well, surely?”
“Who knows, Ella, that’s my thinking too, but our… marriage is the thing that keeps them all silent and well, on the path to normality if you see what I mean,” Dean answers.
“None of them are normal.”
“I agree with you there, Matthew. This is all just a power play at keeping hush, but the other side of it is: if my mother’s secret gets found out, everything goes down the drain. If we lose money, the company will go under eventually. It’s not just about their crimes here,” Dean says.
I still don’t quite understand this pact. It seems they had a mutual agreement for silence and then threw this on top. But I suppose it makes sense: an extra bargaining chip, an extra reason for each side to keep their mouths closed.
“So, you’re the pawns in their little game because they both want to stay out of prison?” Matt questions.
“Yes,” Dean answers.
“I mean, they both agreed to silence for mutual benefit. What does the marriage pact add to this shit?” Matt asks.
“The marriage pact is… extra security. My father wanted to trump Adrian, and his idea of this arranged marriage was all about trying to be on top. I guess he dressed it in pomp and circumstance to make himself look reasonable and go for that mutual gain,” Dean explains.
I sip my tea and look at Dean – the black hair, light eyes, crisp suit… I can see the hint of pain behind that annoyance.
“But… you knew about this, right? From the start? So why did you wait until now to tell me the truth?” I ask.
“Would it have made a difference to you, Ella? Genuinely?” Dean asks.
I fall silent. Would I have agreed willingly, knowing this? Would it have changed my mind about Matty?
“Take Matthew out of the equation. If you hadn’t met him, would the truth have made you marry me willingly?” Dean adds.
“No,” I admit. “Thing is, they all deserve prison. Your mother is a paedophile , Dean. My father is… he blackmailed yours. All for money.”
“It is what it is; neither of us were conceived.” Dean runs a coarse hand through his hair.
“They deserve to pay for what they’ve done—”
“We all suffer if we don’t go through with this, Ella. Now you know the truth, you have to understand the stakes. The company goes, your family will be poor. You’ll have nothing and neither will I.”
“Is your money worth more than your principles? Your moral compass? Because I don’t give a shit about any of it! I don’t want their… dirty money!”
The unspoken truth flows between us all like an invisible thread: I don’t care if Dean loses everything either. If we don’t marry, not only do their crimes become unravelled, but their reputation will also be tarnished, and the company will go under. No one will want to deal with a family with a paedophile behind it, a man covering up for one, and a man who used that to his advantage to get ahead. Dean might inherit the company if they oust Anthony, but he’ll be the captain of a sinking ship.
If I don’t marry Dean, everyone loses.
There is so much more to this than I thought there was. I always knew there was something deeper than ‘ because we lose our money, Ella,’ but I could have never in a million years thought this .
Then I go and complicate it all by meeting Matt, running away, and falling pregnant.
I scrape my chair back and stand up, watching out of the back window as Bailey trots in and out, not quite sure where she wants to be. She sits beside me, holding a twig in her mouth for me to play with her. I take it from her and chuck it out to the end of the garden. Instantly, she pounds to go and grab it while I turn back to the table where Dean and Matt sit, awkwardly ignoring the other’s existence.
∞∞∞
“That was not what I was expecting,” Matty breaks the silence after five minutes.
“Why did no one think to tell me?” I demand when I’m back at the table.
“I was told it was only to go as far as my parents and me. For obvious reasons, my mother didn’t want anyone else to know. I assume your parents don’t think it appropriate—”
“Oh, I’m sorry, they signed me up to marry you so they can sweep their criminal activities and shame under the carpet and don’t think to tell me why?” I snap. “Was my dad too ashamed of his extortion? Fucking joke!”
“I can’t give you those answers, Ella. But this is why you need to give this up and come home—”
“You fucking promised me, Dean, you promised you wouldn’t do this!”
“Man, you just said you were seeing someone else,” Matt pipes up. “Don’t start on Ella.”
“ You have nothing—”
“Leave him alone!” I yell.
The three of us are now standing around the table as if we were starting a dance. We each had our own steps to take, but somewhere along the way, I started doing a lone routine and left Dean to do his part without a partner. I gained Matt and since, my routine started getting more and more complicated until it crescendos into this complete mess. I have three dance routines with no idea what step goes where and where to go next.
“Now you know the stakes, Ella—”
“I don’t care about them,” I cut him off with a shrug. “The thing about mistakes, Dean, is that you have to own them. Let’s forget for one second that they are all criminals. None of them owned their mistakes. They just shrugged it off, shoved a plaster over the top and kept hush-hush. They then decided to put their lives in our hands. While you might be comfortable with that, I’m not. I will not continue living my life in fear because I’m expected to protect our parents—”
“Don’t lie and pretend this is about your morals, Ella. We all know you’re doing it because of him.”
“That’s not completely fair,” Matt pipes up again.
“Really? So, if he wasn’t in the equation, you wouldn’t do it?”
I keep my mouth shut to ponder the situation.
“That’s not fair because you wouldn’t have told me if I hadn’t run away.” When I say it, Dean backs up. He knows I’m right.
“Clearly this is going nowhere, so why don’t we all just take some time to cool off?” Matt suggests.
“Great idea, come on Ella—”
“I’m not going anywhere with you!”
He approaches me and stops when he’s a foot away from me. Matt approaches at the same time as Dean’s hand clamps around my wrist like an iron chain.
“Get off me!” I demand, fighting against him as he starts trying to drag me toward the door.
“This fantasy is ending here!” Dean chides, pushing Matt out of the way.
“Let me go!” I fight, trying to dig my heels into the floor.
“Let her go, she’s pregnant!”
The instant Matty’s words leave his mouth, the chain around my wrist drops. His words explode like a firework; the meaning behind them makes their mark around us, causing awe and amazement the moment they explode, and then the aftermath is the let down as it settles around us.
“You’re… what ?”
“She’s pregnant, Dean,” Matt speaks.
They both stare from each other to me on the floor, where I’d sunk the moment the words filled the space between us all.
“I want you to tell me, Ella. Is he telling the truth?” Dean demands. If superheroes were real, he would be turning into the Hulk right now.
“Y-yes, he’s telling the truth,” I stammer, waiting for him to do something physical to Matty or me. I scramble to my feet, making a safe distance between us.
“So… let me get this right. You have known since you were sixteen that part of the deal was to remain a virgin, and now you’re pregnant ? Please do not pretend you’re the Virgin Mary, either.”
I watch Dean’s hands ball into fists, but they quickly unfurl again when he inhales. As he exhales, he closes his eyes and pinches the bridge of his nose.
The silence between the three of us fills my stomach with uncomfortable butterflies. The churning of what I know is nerves turns like a washing machine in there and I know if someone doesn’t say something soon, I will break.
I’ve been an idiot. An idiot in love, who thought the romantic idea behind running away was worth it. The moment Dean returns to Southampton and tells them the information, everything will erupt and burn, just like Pompeii. My actions have consequences, and while before, I thought it would just mean the loss of a job and some money and materialistic things, it’s not as small as that. Just like Pompeii, the ashes of the immediate aftermath of my mistakes can be swept away but the secrets of the city are frozen underneath, and they will leave ruins forevermore. And it will be my fault because I am Mount Vesuvius, an active volcano. Amelia and my dad are the ones who essentially built their city underneath the shadow of something that could, and would, erupt.
Dean says nothing more. He turns around and slams his way out the door, leaving me standing there, quaking in his wake.