38. Chapter 38
Chapter thirty-eight
Istood in front of Lachlan’s door for a moment with my hand hovering over the scanner. The first night I came here, he stopped me before opening the door, had me press my palm to the glass, and added me to his security system with a simple, “Now you can get in whenever you need to.”
I’d spent most of the day next door with Scarlett, giving Lachlan time to work, pack, and leave without us having to stumble through another goodbye neither of us wanted.
Now he was gone.
I pressed my palm to the glass, and the lock released immediately.
I opened the door and stepped inside.
Warm light spilled across the living room instead of the darkness I expected. Flames glowed behind the fireplace glass, and soft music drifted through the penthouse. Beyond the windows, the buildings across the Hudson glittered against the night.
For several seconds, I stood inside the door, taking in the sweet gesture.
I crossed to the kitchen. On the island, a small crystal bowl overflowed with ivory hydrangeas, pale-pink roses, and sprigs of soft, silvery lamb’s ear. Beside it sat a pretty little cake from Rose Hill Bakery.
It was from the same bakery I’d stopped to admire before we went to Central Park.
I brushed my thumb over one of the velvety leaves.
There was no note. He’d simply known I would come back here without him and made certain I wouldn’t walk into a dark, silent apartment.
A tear slid down my cheek before I could stop it.
Of all the men Ciro could have brought into my life, somehow it had been Lachlan Byrnes.
The furious Irishman whose voice had first reached me through the floor could make me laugh, drive me crazy with his stubbornness, terrify men twice as mean as most, and still understand that when I stopped in front of that bakery window, I hadn’t only been admiring cakes.
I’d been looking at a future I might actually have.
Whatever happened between us, I would always be grateful he had been the man who found me.
I wiped my cheek and wandered into the living room. The day had left me emotionally wrung out, with every feeling still sitting too close to the surface.
Everything looked much as it had when we’d left yesterday morning, from the glass still sitting on the bar to the jacket draped over the back of a chair. Even his office door stood open, making it seem less like he’d left for Boston and more as though he might walk back in at any moment.
The penthouse had never seemed this large when Lachlan was in it.
I tried sitting on the sofa.
That lasted less than a minute.
The kitchen only made me miss him more. The fire, flowers, and cake were beautiful, but they couldn’t stop me from imagining him leaning against the island, coming up behind me, or calling me Mouse from another room.
I stood there wondering what I was supposed to do with myself for the rest of the night. My clothes and everything else I needed were in the guest suite, and that was probably where I should sleep. I could take a hot bath, crawl into bed, and hope sleep came quickly.
The thought of spending the night in that room made me sad.
There was only one bed I wanted to be in.
I headed down the hall to Lachlan’s bedroom.
I stopped just inside the doorway, my attention going straight to the unmade bed. The sheets were still rumpled from the two of us waking up together before Scarlett and Lucian interrupted us.
I had to make myself look away from the bed and keep moving.
A hot bath still sounded like a good idea, so I went into the en suite, stripped off my clothes, washed my face, and brushed my teeth. I turned on the water and watched the tub begin to fill.
After a few seconds, I shut it off.
Even a bath sounded lonely.
Inside one of Lachlan’s drawers, I found an older black T-shirt and pulled it over my head.
Then I slipped beneath the covers and settled in the middle of the bed instead of choosing a side.
The sheets were cool against my legs but still smelled like him, so I turned my face into his pillow and breathed him in.
This was the only place in the entire penthouse where I wanted to be, curled up with Lachlan behind me, his arm around my waist and his mouth near my ear as he whispered something filthy enough to make me laugh.
Taking a break from each other so I could sort through my emotions suddenly seemed like the dumbest idea, even though I knew it wasn’t.
I curled tighter around his pillow as the tears came again.
I had the entire penthouse to myself, and all I wanted was him.
I cried until exhaustion finally won, then fell asleep wearing Lachlan’s shirt and wishing he were there to hold me.