Chapter 9
TANIA
I feel a wall of warmth behind me, and an arm banded tightly around my waist when I start to wake up.
As I shift, I feel something else hard and insistent near my rear end.
On instinct I start grinding a little, chasing relief for the ache in me.
Then a groan coasts across my neck in a hot breath as the arm cinches tighter around me.
Day old scruff rasps against my cheek as I feel lips press into my temple.
At first I freeze, panicking as I become more aware, because I haven’t had a man stay in my bed for a very long time.
Then the memories of last night come back in a rush.
A mixture of embarrassment and relief courses through me, that he saw me that vulnerable but still stayed with me.
He’s the first person I told aside from my grief counselor that I blame myself for my parents dying.
Carlo listened without judgment, and somehow made me feel stronger for letting him in instead of handling it alone.
Having him stay with me through the night is a balm for my soul.
It’s been too long since I’ve been held like this, and the fact that it’s him makes it a million times better.
My heart feels lighter, like the ever present weight of guilt that’s been constricting my chest has been lifted somewhat from talking through everything with him.
“Morning. Are you trying to kill me grinding like that?” he rumbles near my ear. I turn over to face him, and our legs tangle. My cheeks are on fire, but I’ll meet this situation head on.
“Sorry, I promise I’m not trying to kill you. You trying to kill me with what you’re packing down there?” His eyes darken, but he just laughs and brings his forehead to mine.
“You really stayed all night,” I murmur, searching his face for any regret or hesitation at having seen me like that. All I see are soft, still sleepy eyes and pure affection.
“I said I would. People can say a lot about what an unserious adrenaline junkie I am, but I always do exactly what I say I’m going to do,” he replies, smoothing my hair. The cats jump onto the bed in perfect synchronicity, beginning their demands for breakfast.
“I’m starting to see that.”
“How do you think I ended up with my piercings?” The question seemingly comes from nowhere, and I tilt my head in interest.
“Didn’t you just want to get them?”
“I did, but it was Taran who goaded me into it. I mentioned wanting them at some point, and he said I would never do it. I went the next day, and his priceless face when I showed him in the locker room after dance team practice is something that will be etched into my mind forever. We were seniors, just 18 and finishing high school.” His shoulders are shaking from laughing at the memory.
Then he tickles me lightly on my sides and I squeal.
“My point, Castillo, is that I will rise to any challenge you throw at me, and I always come through on my promises.” I don’t miss how his eyebrows waggle a little and his smirk comes out at the, “rise to any challenge,” part.
A giggle escapes me as I shove his chest to make him back up so we can start our days before I register an important part of what he said.
“Wait wait wait. You and your best friend were on the dance team? Were you any good, or just there to do lifts?”
“Hey, we were both exceptional. It was also the best way to meet girls, the other athletes had it all wrong,” he says with a wink.
“You are the worst,” I say on a laugh. He taps my nose with a huge smile as he moves to get up.
“I think I’ve already proven that wrong, but you’re entitled to your opinion.”
“In all seriousness, thank you, Carlo. For everything.” He squeezes my shoulder as he heads into the bathroom while I head toward the kitchen to serve my kitty overlords and start the coffee.
“Anytime, sweetheart.” I can’t stop the fluttering in my stomach at the endearment, and I’m somebody who usually hates endearments.
This man is truly dangerous to my health with all of the heart pounding and stomach fluttering he causes.
I normally keep my emotions and feelings locked down tightly, because there hasn’t been a lot of room for vulnerability in my life.
He somehow manages to sneak in and help me let them out.
It’s not something I’ve ever experienced with a man before, and I need to figure out soon what I want to do about it.
We finish our morning routine like we’ve been living together for ages.
“Want to carpool today?” he asks when we’re ready to go to work.
“Yes. I don’t have anything after work, so we can go together.
” He rubs the back of his neck in that nervous gesture of his that is so unlike his usual playful bravado.
I appreciate that he has no problem showing me some vulnerability, too.
I’m not alone in feeling off balance when we’re together.
Or more perfectly balanced than I’ve ever experienced, whichever.
“Want to go to dinner after? Maybe grab a drink?” There goes my stupid heart and stomach again making a racket. He interprets my hesitation as not wanting to, because he quickly adds, “Just as friends, it doesn’t have to mean anything.”
“I’d like that,” I assure him. “Where were you thinking?”
“I could take you to my favorite place for some arepas, drinks, and dancing. El Abrevadero, where I went that night a couple of weeks ago to meet Taran. What are you in the mood for, though?”
“Arepas, drinks, and dancing sound great. I haven’t been out dancing in forever, plus I need to see these exceptional dance moves of yours,” I tease.
His answering grin is better than basking in sunlight as he moves toward me, suddenly breaking into a salsa with full hip movement and everything.
I can’t lie, the man can really move. He turns around so I can see his very fine ass shaking, and I’m losing it like a hyena, damn near hiccuping.
“You sure you can handle this, Castillo?” he jokes over his shoulder, running his hands down his hips while he wiggles. I feign fainting at his feet.
“Nope, you have me deceased with those hips,” I say dramatically, trying to get a hold of myself. He throws his head back and barks a laugh, coming back over and throwing his arm around my shoulders to guide us out the door.
“Alright, let’s get going before we’re late.
Bye, furballs, be good! No flooding the apartment!
” It cracks me up, he says that to them every morning now when we leave.
They both chirp in response. It gets us laughing about the mishap rather than me stewing about it.
At this moment, I’m actually grateful for the chaos they caused, because I am kind of loving having Carlo Hernandez for a roommate.
I felt like my whole life was about to fall apart that night I got evicted, and now here I am in the best living situation I’ve ever been in since my parents died.
People have obviously started to notice that we’ve been coming in to work together fairly often, and today is no different.
Word has gone around that I’m staying with him and that we’re friends.
Our boss eyes us thoughtfully sometimes, but other than that things have stayed pretty normal.
My best friend is a whole other story. Ray has the biggest grin on his face as he comes over to say hello to me once Carlo and I go our separate ways.
He’s been pretty clear that he’s rooting hard for me to let go of my no shitting where I eat rule and date Carlo, even before we started living together.
Now he’s almost insufferable about it, texting me a ton for updates and hopeful questions about whether either of us has made a move yet.
“You two look so damn good together and I love it,” he whispers in greeting. I roll my eyes playfully.
“I know you do, you’re very not subtle about it and you’ve said it many, many times.”
“I’ll keep saying it until you come to your senses and date the hell out of that man. I see how he looks at you. He’s got it bad. Plus he’s a pleasure to live with, and I can tell he would make it a million times more pleasurable if you let him. Lock that shit down, babe.”
“We’re going out to dinner and dancing tonight. It’s not really a date, but we’re spending more time together, ok? Don’t get too excited, we’re feeling things out.” He practically squeals.
“Sweetie, it is a date, stop lying to yourself and enjoy it for what it is. You know you like him.”
“I do like him, Ray. A lot. I just need to figure out for sure whether he’s worth risking my peace at this job.” It’s his turn to roll his eyes.
“I get why you’re hesitant, your feelings are always valid. Don’t you think he’s already proven himself, though? How much more does this man need to do to show you he’s worth it?”
“I know, I know. I need time, my love. There are some big feelings for me to sort through and I want to make sure he and I get a good start if we decide to try officially dating. I’m not exactly equipped for lasting, meaningful relationships, and he deserves more than I know how to give right now.
” This is getting way too deep for a pre-work whisper chat, and we need to wrap it up to get on with our days.
Carlo also keeps glancing over at us from his truck.
I give him a smile, and his whole face softens as he smiles back.
“Have a good day,” he mouths over the din of everyone hustling around.
“You too,” I mouth back with a wave. When I turn to say goodbye to Ray, he huffs impatiently.