Chapter fourteen Scottie #3
My heart lurches at his words, hammering wildly as if I’m the one who’s about to be asked one of the most important questions of my life, and all I can envision is Grady being the one to ask me.
I didn’t get a proposal from Andrew. It was more of a declaration. “We’re getting married, Scottie. Our kid deserves that.”
What our child really deserved was a father who cared.
A tear streams down my cheek. Ugh, stupid hormones.
Dallas drops to one knee, Willow gasps, and the crowd pulls out their phones to start recording and taking pictures.
“You are the love of my life, Goose.” She laughs at the nickname.
“Fate is more powerful than we’ll ever truly know, but I think you and I can both attest to that given how we ended up in each other’s lives.
” She nods. “I don’t want to live another day without knowing that you’ll be my wife.
I love you more than I ever thought I could love someone.
You are my future, my best friend, and the woman I was made for.
” He reaches into his back pocket and pulls out a ring without a box. “Willow Marshall, will you marry me?”
“HONK! HONK!”
Everyone’s attention shifts to the right as a gaggle of geese interrupt one of the most important moments in Dallas and Willow’s lives.
“Oh my God!” Astrid shrieks and Willow shakes her head, laughing.
“I told you that you’d attract the geese!” Willow shouts at her best friend before dropping Dallas’s hand and marching toward the birds. “Listen up, you heathens…” But she doesn’t get very far before Dallas pulls her back to him, laughing along with everyone else.
“Come on, Goose. It’s only fitting that the geese want to be part of this moment.”
Willow rolls her eyes before Dallas drops to his knee again, just as Grady presses another kiss to my temple and pulls me in closer.
“Do you want to fight off geese with me for the rest of our lives, baby?”
She covers her mouth, giggling as tears flow down her cheeks before finally shouting, “Yes!”
Dallas launches himself from the ground and everyone goes crazy, clapping wildly and shouting cheers of congratulations as the geese continue to honk in the background.
They seal their engagement with a kiss, and then Dallas slides the ring onto her finger, admiring how the diamond looks on her hand.
I wipe under my eyes and nose, so emotional over someone else’s happily ever after, but hating that I can’t just let myself have my own.
“I need to use the bathroom,” I say as I shift out of Grady’s arms and head back to the house.
“Scottie?” he asks, concern etched on his face.
“I just need some tissue,” I tell him, not bothering to turn around. But honestly, I need to be alone. I need to let this wave of emotion flow through me so I don’t look like a crazy person crying over a proposal between two people I barely know.
Locking myself in the bathroom, I take a seat on the toilet and grab tissue, letting the tears flow. I cover my mouth to hide my sobs, and then take a few deep breaths as I fight to gather myself.
I wish I wasn’t so conflicted about where my life is headed.
I wish I didn’t feel so hesitant to let Grady in when he is making it clear that he wants me.
And I wish that I could feel more joy this time around instead of feeling anxious about all the decisions I still need to make before this baby gets here.
Grateful that I grabbed my purse before I came in here, I take a look at myself in the mirror and then get to work fixing my makeup.
I carry an emergency kit with me for these moments when my emotions get the best of me, which is happening more often the further along I get in my pregnancy. I just didn’t expect it to happen here.
When I finally feel composed enough to return to the party, I open the door to find Astrid waiting for me, biting her fingernail.
“Sorry, I took so long,” I say, but she just smiles back at me.
“I just wanted to make sure you’re okay. Grady said you ran away from him.”
Covering my heart with my hand, I reply, “My emotions just got the best of me. I have these breakdowns and once they start, it takes me a minute to calm down.”
She nods. “I understand. That happened to me a lot when I was pregnant with my daughter.” Then she tilts her head, eyeing me.
“But I’m wondering if something else got to you too.
” We stare at each other for a few seconds before Astrid straightens her head again and takes a deep breath.
“Look, I know things are awkward between you and my brother right now, but I really just want to support you in any way I can, Scottie—as a friend, a fellow mom, and a future aunt to your kid.”
“I—I appreciate that.”
“Would you like to have lunch or dinner with me sometime this week?” Her suggestion catches me off guard, but honestly, I think it would be nice to have another woman to talk to. I really like Shauna, but she does live halfway across the country. And Astrid’s right, she is going to be family soon.
“Oh, uh… Yeah, I think we could make that happen.”
“Good. I’ll text you tomorrow. Is that okay?”
“Sure.”
She reaches out for my hand. “I’m serious. I have no ulterior motives here, but I think you and I have something in common, and I want you to know that you’re not alone.”
***
I’m sitting at the table in Catch & Release, waiting for Astrid to show up on Wednesday night just after I dropped Chase off at Grady’s Garage.
When Astrid texted me to meet up, this seemed like the most logical time to make it happen, but I’m not going to lie, I’m nervous about what she meant when she said we have something in common.
“You play darts?” An old man wearing a veteran’s hat comes waddling up to the booth.
“I’m sorry?”
“Do you play darts?”
Not sure if I should take him seriously, I reply, “I have, but it’s been a long time.”
He hikes up his pants that are being held up by suspenders anyway. “No worries. I can teach you the game again.”
“Oh, Harold. Leave her alone.” Astrid waltzes up to the table, wrapping her arm around his shoulders. “She isn’t here to play darts with you.”
“But we need a fourth,” he whines, making me smile.
“You boys are just going to have to find someone else to join your game tonight.”
He grunts. “Fine.”
The two of us watch him walk up to the next unsuspecting woman as Astrid slides into her seat, shaking her head. “Sorry I’m late.”
“Don’t apologize. I haven’t been here very long.”
“Okay, good. And sorry about Harold.”
“He seems harmless.”
“He is, but he and his friends are always scouting for women to play darts with them. The next time you see Willow, ask how her game with them went.” Astrid smirks as a server approaches, greeting her like she’s a long-lost friend.
We place our orders, and I opt for the burger and onion rings, the only thing I’ve had from here that I know will satisfy my growing hunger.
“You seem like a little bit of a celebrity around here,” I say once our server takes off.
Astrid smiles and leans back in the booth, surveying the restaurant. “I used to work here before I owned the bakery.”
“Oh. I didn’t know that.”
“Yeah. After my husband died, I was working here and at the bakery just to make ends meet. Brandon’s death benefit paid off the house, but I was a stay-at-home mom before he passed, and overnight I became a single mom who needed to start earning an income to survive.”
The mention of her husband has my heart racing. “I’m so sorry about your husband.”
“Thank you, but that’s part of the reason why I wanted to talk to you, Scottie.” She adjusts herself in her seat. “I get the feeling that you and your husband didn’t have the best marriage.”
I scoff, but nod. “What makes you say that?”
She winces. “Details that my brother has shared with me, but mostly, I see something in your eyes that I recognized in myself.”
“And what’s that?”
“Fear,” she says bluntly, making my heart rate climb even more.
Swirling my water glass, I take a sip and then say, “Well, you’re not wrong.”
She nods curtly. “And if I’m on the right track, I’m guessing that’s the reason you’re hell-bent on keeping my brother at a distance.”
“God, Astrid.” I bury my head in my hands as tears threaten to spill from my eyes. “I’m such a fucking mess.”
She reaches across the table to pull my hands from my face.
“No, you’re not. You’re human and have been through some shit that very few can understand.
No one can blame you for how you feel, but I want you to know that I felt that way too, and it took me four years before I was finally willing to risk my heart again. ”
“How did you do it?” I groan, frustrated but feeling relieved to be able to talk to someone about this.
Astrid huffs out a laugh. “Girl, it wasn’t easy.
You have to consider that Penn was my husband’s best friend growing up, and also my friend.
So, not only were we risking our friendship, his bond with my kids, and our lives that were so intertwined, but also the trust that he shared with my late husband. ”
“That sounds complicated.”
“It was, especially because Penn thought my marriage was perfect, but the truth was…it was far from it.”
I swallow hard. “I know that feeling well.”
“Well, I wanted to share my story with you because I want you to know that if there is anyone who understands what you’re going through, it’s me.
” She smiles softly. “I hate that we have this in common, but I also think it’s important for you to know that I’ve been there too.
I totally get how hard it is to let someone else in again after you’ve been hurt, after your belief in love and partnership has been destroyed.
Especially when they’re also a friend, which makes the risks even greater. ”
Tears start to well in my eyes again. “I feel like I’m right back where I was when I found out I was pregnant with Chase, and I just don’t want to make the same mistakes.”
“I hear you.”