Chapter 16
An Unintentional Unveiling
T am entered his cabin, paused, then closed the door as quietly as possible behind himself.
It wasn’t the most spacious of rooms—any extravagant boats pulling into the harbor in Zinfera would’ve attracted a lot of attention—but there was still a built-in bed with the headboard on the same wall as the door, enough room for a set of low shelves along the back wall, and a round table that could comfortably seat three to four people. A window on the port side of the room let in the evening sun as they sailed south; now, in early afternoon, the warm light had only just begun to creep along the weathered boards of the room.
His son was standing by the window next to the foot of Tam’s bed, his black hair damp from his bath, and he was wearing the white tunic that Tam had laid out for him, despite it being too large. The child was holding the brass sextant Katarina had bought for Tam back during her time in Troivack, and the future lord watched as the boy turned the tool over carefully in his hands, admiring its interesting shapes and the way it gleamed in the light.
Because the boy’s back was to him, Tam couldn’t see the look in his eyes. If they were keen and understanding, it could indicate a wisdom beyond his years… hinting at perhaps a Godly parentage. But if it were childish innocence, perhaps…
The boy stilled, then turned around abruptly and jolted in alarm at the sight of Tam, dropping the sextant with a loud clatter.
“I’m sorry!” he shouted, panicked. Dropping to his knees, he picked it up frantically, his hands trembling.
Tam strode over and held out his hand.
With his head already hanging, the child carefully handed the instrument to its owner.
Lifting the sextant up and peering through the eyepiece, Tam found it was intact, though even if it had cracked, it wouldn’t have been the first time. Asher had done almost exactly the same thing to it the year before.
Looking back down at the boy, Tam lowered the instrument. “It isn’t broken. It’s alright. Though in the future, please ask before touching things.”
“Y-yes, my lord. I-I’m sorry, m-my lord!” The child’s words warbled, and his shaking grew more noticeable.
Tam took in a slow breath as he lowered himself down to a knee.
“I’m not upset,” he explained, softly but firmly. “I just happen to own things that could be dangerous if not handled with the proper care.”
The boy nodded hastily.
“Now, you mentioned that you didn’t have a name, and your mother’s letter confirmed this. So… Is there a name you yourself like?”
The topic change seemed to succeed in stopping the boy’s quivering, though his hands moved in front of himself and he began to pick at his thumbnails.
Tam’s heart twisted.
Rosaline had the same habit when nervous.
“I-I-I want you to pick one!”
Silence rested between them for a time before Tam spoke again. “Really? Even if I wanted to name you something silly? Like Artichoke?”
The child was so stunned he temporarily forgot his shyness and stared directly at Tam, and even though the fear in his dark eyes made it seem as though he was going to immediately look away again, the gentle smile on Tam’s face made the boy freeze. He, for whatever reason, looked surprised.
“If you… If you think that…” He swallowed. “If you think that’s the right name for me… then that’s… that’s fine.”
Everything about the child’s tone and body language screamed the opposite of his words.
“Oh, really? Have you ever heard of the former earl, Lord Dick Fuks and his son Les? Or about his grandson, Ass?”
Despite his nerves, a brief laugh escaped the boy’s mouth, though he quickly pressed his lips together.
Which was a good thing, as thoughtful alarm struck Tam. The boy’s astonished laugh was like that of Katarina Reyes, Tam’s sister’s, the Daxarian queen…
Am I imagining things? Trying to find proof he is my son and not the devil…?
“Tell you what, I won’t name you something funny, but you have to tell me the truth if you do or don’t like one. Deal?”
Smiling, the boy looked up again, albeit shyly. “Okay.”
“Alright… Here is what I’m thinking. Tonight, you and I are going to do something together. It’s something I don’t do with anyone else other than my family.”
Unable to resist the allure of a secret activity, the child leaned closer.
“We are going to use this sextant, to find constellations. Maybe as we do that, we’ll find a name for you. What do you think about that?”
The child’s wide excited eyes dropped to the instrument, which in turn brought another smile to Tam’s face.
“I… I like that idea,” the boy said.
“Wonderful. Now, there is one other very important thing I need to ask you.”
The child’s shoulders hunched in preparation of hearing some sort of somber request. Gods knew what it was he was expecting…
“I need to ask you to stop calling me ‘my lord.’ On this ship, you can call me Tam. Are you comfortable with that?” The future duke received a shy nod in response.
“Alright, I’m going to go do some work with my assistant. Are you able to read? I don’t have many books that you may be interested in, but I do have one about the legends of the constellations.”
The small face tensed. “I… can read, but… not very well.” His cheeks burned.
Tam mentally kicked himself. Of course his son hadn’t had a lot of opportunity to read. Rosaline was busy day and night running her business. She hadn’t owned many books back when Tam knew her, either.
“Not a problem. I’ll buy you as many books as you like in the future. For now, though, how about… erm…”
“You don’t need to worry about me, my lo—T-Tam. I-I can just sit quietly in the corner.”
Tam frowned but decided not to comment on the boy’s behavior. He had known Rosaline to be a stern, independent woman, but her son’s reactions were those of an abused child.
“Who did you spend most of your day with, if you don’t mind my asking…?” Tam asked, though he already felt like he had a good answer.
“M-my Uncle Liam.”
Tam gritted his teeth. He should have guessed as much earlier. Obviously, Liam’s harshness had also prevented Rosaline from naming her own son. Tam felt a mixture of rage and disappointment. He had thought Rosaline was a fair, just woman, even if she was blinded by her affection for her brother at times.
To think that her opinion of her brother outweighed her love for her child?
Tam did his best to remind himself that this young boy could still be the reincarnation of the devil, in which case this might all be an act. But… the boy was convincing. There was no trace of deception in his words or face.
And in the event that it was the truth, that Tam had sired a son… then he could not come from a moral high ground when it came to rearing children.
As a result, Tam forced himself not to say anything that could possibly make the lad become defensive.
“Tell you what, do you like to draw?”
A wary nod was his response.
“Perfect. I would appreciate it if you could draw some pictures for me, and if you feel like writing, I would love to read about what kinds of things you like. Your favorite color, your favorite food, your birthday… All of those things.” As Tam spoke, he made his way over to the round oak table and pulled a fresh stack of paper in front of the chair, along with an inkwell and quill.
The cabin floor rocked beneath their feet as the nameless boy watched Tam work.
When he’d finished, Tam turned and smiled while gesturing to the chair. “I can see about a cup of tea being made for you. Do you like tea?”
The child began to fidget with his thumbnails again. “Can’t I stay with you?”
Guilt seized Tam’s heart.
Of course someone so young and in such a frightening situation would want to stick by the person who had been kind to him… and also happened to be their father.
“Why not? I’ll handle my work in here, but I hope you won’t mind that I’ll be reading, and I may have to go out for some fresh air often. To be honest, I get seasick a lot.” Tam added the last part in a conspiratorial whisper.
“I know.” The boy smiled sheepishly. “I watched you this morning from my hiding place.”
Tam put his hands on his hips and rolled his eyes to the ceiling. “Damn. I guess it wasn’t as big a secret as I’d hoped.”
The boy laughed. His brown eyes were bright and warm as he stared at Tam with open admiration.
Excusing himself to go tell Eli the change of plans, and see about getting a few cups of tea for the three of them to sip around the table, Tam left the cabin feeling as though things were going tentatively well. Though he knew a lone conversation couldn’t be what determined how everything would unfold, he was clinging to whatever positives he could.
At Eli’s cabin, Tam knocked on the door. He didn’t hear a response, and so he turned to check above deck to see if she had simply gone up to get some fresh air. Suddenly the ship tilted. Tam was thrown into the wall beside the door, and from within the cabin, he heard a loud thump that sounded like a body hitting the floor, followed by a groan.
Concern seizing him, Tam threw open the door, his body tensed in preparation for whatever he might find, except…
There was Eli.
Without a tunic or vest.
Her chest was mostly covered by bindings, but there was a long swath of cloth that lay over her lap undone from the rest of her wrappings.
She was slumped against her desk, clutching the back of her head, her face scrunched up. Evidently the lurch of the deck beneath her feet had sent her careening back, to the point of stumbling and thwacking her skull soundly.
Tam figured this out while he stared rather dumbly at her… though something that was far less passive started to rise in his being. Something akin to protectiveness and perhaps a tinge of the same compelling feeling he had experienced earlier when he’d stood close to her at the stern of the ship against the railing…
While the future duke remained frozen in place, Eli, still clutching the back of her head, slowly opened her eyes.
When they met Tam’s, it was her turn to go still.
Her stare widened a fraction, as though she could see the mysterious well of feelings coming up in her employer.
But then a cool draft swept across her middle. She looked down at her bare stomach and remembered what she’d been in the middle of doing when she’d fallen and hit her head.
Thanks to living with the infamous house witch who cooked meals that tasted beyond anyone’s expectations, she’d found she had to loosen her bindings more regularly.
Eli’s eyes darted back up at the same time Tam began to come back to his senses. He was opening his mouth to begin apologizing when the sound of small feet pounding down the corridor interrupted him, making him turn in time to see his son careening toward his side.
“Tam, I’m so sorry! The—the ink! It spilled everywhere when the ship—” The child skidded to a halt, then looked into the cabin where Eli still sat on the floor.
He stared at her. Then back up at Tam.
“I didn’t know Eli was a girl.”
Tam instantly cringed as he dove for the door handle, fumbled, and at last yanked the door shut just in time for Eli to drop her face to her hands.
Still in a state of confusion, Tam continued staring at the closed door while his son peered up at his stunned profile.
“Should I call her Miss Eli? I’m sorry, I didn’t know…” The child was utterly unaware of the secret he had just discovered.
“Ah… about that… Come on, let’s go back to my cabin and… We need to have a quick chat about Eli.” Tam gently grasped his son’s shoulders and steered him back toward his own cabin while trying to pull his thoughts together.
“O-okay.” The boy looked over his shoulder uncertainly. “But is she your betrothed or something…? Why were you there when she was getting dressed?”
The sound of footsteps belonging to the crew thudded down the stairs behind Tam, prompting him to gently cover his son’s mouth as he moved them even more quickly back to the cabin.
While Tam had always prided himself at being exceptionally good at hiding his nonsense in almost every area of his life (a skill his father had never seemed to master), he was starting to wonder if maybe the inability to stay discreet or stay out of trouble was an affliction that developed with age.