Chapter 12
Ben hadn’t realised quite how noisy a group of seven-year-olds could be. Currently, he was backed into a corner clutching a warm beer while several of Evie’s friends ran around in circles waving foam swords.
You walk into burning buildings, you save lives. Wherever there is danger, you are there. A children’s party is nothing to be scared of!
He tried giving himself a talking to, but really, feral children fuelled by sugar were terrifying.
‘Hello, Evie, happy birthday!’
‘Uncle Ben!’ Evie jumped up at him to give him a hug, pleased to see him. ‘Come in and join my party. Did you bring me a present?’
‘Evie, that’s very rude, you don’t ask if people have brought you gifts.’ Penny had appeared from the sitting room looking slightly flushed. ‘Hello, Ben. Evie, why don’t you go and join in with musical chairs? Daddy’s just getting everyone organised.’
Pulling the door shut behind her, Penny dragged Ben into the kitchen.
‘Oh my God, it’s chaos. I don’t know why I said yes to having a party here, we should have done this in the park and let them all run wild, or somewhere I wouldn’t care if they threw up on things.’
Ben looked around the normally pristine kitchen.
Discarded wrapping paper was gathered in drifts along the wall, bunting hung crookedly from light fittings, various tiny shoes had been abandoned wherever they were most likely to be a trip hazard, jelly handprints adorned the glass bi-fold doors and Ben hoped that the brown stains mashed into the rug were chocolate cake and not something infinitely worse.
Muffled sobbing could be heard coming from the other room.
‘Oh dear, now Reuben’s crying again. I should have thought of a game where no-one would have to be out. Negotiating with the EU is easier than getting him to accept that he did move during musical statues.’
‘I did think pirates and princesses was a brave theme,’ Ben pointed out, lowering himself gingerly onto a chair having removed the jammy dodger stuck to the seat.
‘Well, I thought Evie would want to be a Disney princess, but then she decided she wanted to be a pirate and, of course, everyone decided they wanted to be pirates too, even if they were originally a princess, so there’s a lot more swashbuckling that I’d originally planned.
Here, have a drink. God knows I need one, but I have to stay sober as I’m in charge.
Hahaha!’ Penny’s laugh had a hysterical edge to it as she thrust a beer at Ben, the contents slopping over the sides.
‘Thanks, Pen,’ he said, taking a long gulp. Dutch courage and all that.
Penny ran a hand through her dishevelled hair, removing a streamer in the process. She straightened her shoulders and took a deep breath. ‘Right, I’m going back in.’
She cast a nervous glance towards the living room where the noise levels had increased. ‘Go and talk to Mum and Dad. They’re hiding in the garden. Dad’s doing the barbecue.’
‘I don’t really—’
‘It’s either that or you have to go in there and manage pass the parcel. It’s your choice.’ Penny interrupted him, an unhinged look in her eyes.
A loud bang from the other room, followed by a scream, then the sound of another child bursting into tears made the decision slightly easier.
‘I’ll go and talk to Mum and Dad,’ said Ben, taking another gulp of beer and heading for the garden.
Pushing open the glass doors, Ben headed up the path, making his way from one Yorkshire stone paver to the next.
Penny had just had the garden redesigned to accommodate Antony’s home office and Evie’s trampoline.
Low, white-rendered raised beds lined the slate-black fencing, and olive trees – which were artfully underlit as soon as dusk arrived – stood to attention at regular intervals, disguising the plastic ducting that ran electrics and Wi-Fi to what Antony called his work pod and what Penny called the shed.
As he walked through a rose-covered arch, his mum said, ‘Benjamin, hello! We were wondering where you’d got to.’
Ben’s mum, her blonde hair now streaked with grey piled into a bun, stood up for a hug as he joined them. Ben smiled and leant down to wrap his arms around her.
‘I was on duty last night so I had a bit of late start today.’
Antony was a keen barbecuer and, as something big in the City, he’d used his latest annual bonus to create, not only the work pod/garden room/shed, but also to furnish the raised decking area with a micro-concrete outdoor kitchen specially designed to fit around his Green Egg.
Situated far too close to the wooden pergola for Ben’s professional liking – did they not know how many domestic fires were caused by incorrectly sited barbecues, not to mention the carbon monoxide poisoning, each year?
– Ben had to admit it was a pretty smart set up.
‘How’s Dad getting on?’ he asked his mum in a low voice, looking over towards his father, who was bent over the barbecue.
As Antony had been roped into helping to manage the party games, Ben’s parents had been allocated cooking duties, and as Ben’s mum buttered bread rolls, his dad, charged with grilling burgers, could be heard muttering furiously as he glared at the temperature gauge.
‘Well, yes, he’s got the lid off now,’ said his mother diplomatically. ‘Why don’t you go and see if you can help?’
Taking another fortifying gulp of beer, Ben headed over to his father. ‘Hi, Dad, how are you?’
His dad glanced up to glare at him. ‘I’d be fine if it wasn’t for this stupid thing. Honestly, what’s wrong with a good old-fashioned grill? I don’t know why he insists on this ridiculous contraption. More money and trouble than it’s worth.’
‘Ian, I do wish you’d just calm down.’ Ben’s mum joined them. ‘Let Ben look at it, he knows about fire. You come and help with me the rolls.’
Ben reached for the tongs, ready to assist, but before he could his father snatched them away.
‘Ben knows nothing about starting fires, Mary, he only knows how to put them out. He’ll be no help whatsoever.’
Ian turned back to the grill, his shoulders set.
Ben rolled his eyes. Typical.
‘Dad, I think I can manage to cook some burgers. Why don’t you sit down with Mum?’ He tried again and went to lift the domed lid of the barbecue, but his dad pushed it firmly back down.
‘I can cope, thank you very much. Just let me get on with it.’
Sighing heavily, Ben walked back to the table and sat down next to his mum, his jaw tightly clenched.
His mother reached out a soothing hand.
‘Just ignore him, you know how he gets,’ she said gently.
‘Yes,’ said Ben through clenched teeth. ‘Unbearable. I don’t know why he won’t let me help, he’s obviously stressed.’
‘I know, I know, but he thinks needing help is a sign of weakness. He… he just can’t, you know that.’
Ben looked at his mum’s anxious face and let his anger go. He had seen first-hand what had happened when his dad had needed help. But Ben had learnt that asking for help came from strength not weakness, and he wished his dad, an ex-policeman, could discover the same.
Following his breakdown, Ben had thought his dad might have been able to understand, but instead he’d told him he needed to pull himself together.
Ian’s refusal to admit that he’d ever experienced anything similar had left Ben angry and hurt.
As his counsellor kept telling him, it was something Ben needed to talk to his dad about.
Hell will freeze over before I feel ready for that conversation, Ben thought angrily, staring at his father’s rigid back as he banged the lid shut on the barbecue and flung the tongs down in frustration.
In the meantime, Mary and Penny were stuck in the middle, trying to bridge the gap between the men in the family. Ben knew that their patience with the tension was running out.
‘Why don’t you pop back indoors and give your sister a hand?’ Mary suggested, seeing the look of disappointment on Ben’s face. ‘We’ll be ready to eat in about ten minutes, so she’ll need some help getting everyone ready.’
Ben looked over at his dad again. He was exuding impatience and disapproval as he continued to wrestle with the barbecue, and Ben heard him mutter something about how it was fine for others to just give up and walk off.
Ben’s heart hardened.
Deciding, upon reflection, that a house of seven-year-olds seemed a lot less effort to deal with, he picked up his drink and walked away.
‘Thank God that’s over for another year.’
Penny fell back into the dark-green velvet sofa and stuck her feet up on the coffee table. She’d changed into leggings and a long cashmere jumper and, her slim shoulders finally relaxing, reached for her glass and took a large gulp of wine.
Ben, sitting next to her, smiled. ‘You did a great job. Evie had a fantastic time.’
‘She did, didn’t she?’ Penny looked pleased. ‘I love it really, especially when it’s all over and the house has been de-caked! Thank you for helping.’
‘No problem, it was fun.’
Penny threw Ben a questioning look, and he laughed.
‘Okay, perhaps not fun exactly, but I’m happy to help.’
Once the games were finished and the burgers eaten, parents had started to arrive to collect their children and, one by one, Evie’s friends had been dispatched, some more easily than others, clutching party bags and covered in chocolate.
Antony had taken charge of bath time while Ben and Penny tidied the house, relocating sofa cushions, wiping down surfaces and putting toys back into cupboards.
Now, eating leftover cocktail sausages – organic, of course – and an entire cheese and pineapple hedgehog – for some reason the children had shunned this culinary delicacy from Penny’s childhood – they were happily slumped on the sofa.
‘Another beer?’ Penny asked, standing up to head to the fridge so she could top up her wine glass.
‘Yes, please, that would be great.’ Ben slid another cube of cheddar and pineapple off its stick and into his mouth.
Penny returned with their drinks, curling her legs under her on the sofa.
‘Why don’t you stay over? You’ve still got some of your things here. Saves you having to get home.’
‘That’s a good idea. I’ll get up with Evie tomorrow morning. I promised her we could make her Lego castle while we watch Frozen again.’
‘Ooh, yes, that sounds good. I can have a lie in. Thank you, Uncle Ben.’
The two sat in silence for a moment, enjoying the quiet after the earlier noise. Light filtered in through the slatted shutters and the candles on the mantlepiece threw a cosy glow over the room. From upstairs came the sound of water running and Antony coaxing Evie through the bedtime routine.
Penny turned to look at Ben. ‘Saw you chatting to Dad, was he okay?’
Ben shrugged. ‘He was a nightmare earlier when he was doing the barbecue, but I asked how his journey was so he started telling me about how bad the traffic had been. I made the mistake of asking what route he’d taken and he went off on one about the merits of the south circular versus the M25 onto the A3. He was quite animated for Dad!’
‘At least Mum didn’t chime in about how she won’t use the satnav on her phone because then “they” will be tracking her!’
Ben conceded that that was a small mercy. His mum was great in nearly all respects but she was deeply suspicious about modern technology. They’d only just persuaded her to get a mobile phone for emergencies.
‘At least you and Dad spent a bit of time together, I know it’s hard for you.’
Ben didn’t reply. He joked, but the fact his dad could happily discuss, at length, the best route to get to Wandsworth from Winchester, but not how his son was, or what he was doing, upset him.
And he felt like a coward for not confronting his dad about it, but he didn’t want to make things hard for his mum.
Penny, seeing his frowning face, changed the subject.
‘It wasn’t just dad I saw you chatting to,’ she said, teasingly. ‘You and Kieran’s mum were getting along rather well.’
‘Sami? Yeh, she was asking me about fire blankets for the kitchen,’ Ben replied, looking surprised. ‘She wanted to know where she should get them from.’
‘Hmm, I don’t think that’s why she was giving you her mobile number, though.’
Penny took another gulp of wine and pushed a strand of hair behind her ear. ‘She’s asked me several times if you’re single, and she’s not the only mum-friend who’s been interested in finding out more about you. Some of them aren’t even single!’
‘Well, I’m certainly not interested in the married ones!’ Ben said, shocked.
‘I know, I’m just teasing,’ she said, before adding more carefully, ‘But what about Sami? She’s lovely. Why don’t you give her a call and ask her out?’
Ben didn’t answer straight away.
‘I don’t know. I just don’t feel ready for all of that, and besides, my work doesn’t make it easy to date people. I’ve tried, and it’s no fun when I’m not around for evenings and nights, and can’t do weekends. It annoys people.’
‘It annoyed Luisa, you mean.’ Penny grimaced. She’d never been a fan of Ben’s ex-girlfriend.
‘Not just Luisa. Milly wasn’t keen either.’
‘You went on one date. I hardly think that counts.’
Penny looked across at her brother as he studiously stared into his glass, ignoring her.
Penny softened. ‘Look, I know the whole thing with Luisa hit you hard, and it’s fine to be by yourself if that’s what you want.
But I just want you to be happy, and to know there are lots of women interested in you if you do want to find someone.
I can’t keep fending off the single girls in the PTA forever, you know. ’
Ben cracked a smile. ‘Thanks, Pen. I’m just getting used to being by myself again. I’m not sure I’m ready for all the stuff that comes with being with someone else right now, but I’ll let you know when I am.’
‘Okay, well, when you are I can auction you off as a prize in the school raffle. Tall and handsome, a firefighter – you’re a catch, you know. I’m in charge of raising funds for the school roof this year, so if I have to sell my brother to the highest bidder, then so be it.’
Ben, catching her look of determination, was alarmed to see that she didn’t appear to be joking.