Chapter 39
My temporary ability to speak had disappeared once more as Dion released me from the vise of his embrace, and his hands slipped into mine. My brain blanked, and my breath caught in my lungs because in one moment, the prince stood before me, but in the next, he went down on one knee.
This wasn’t happening.
What if I simply refused to believe that the scene playing out in front of me was real?
Help?
But no matter how intensely I stared at him—the proud fae male, the crown prince of a damn world, someone who his people called Dark God in fear—the sight didn’t change. He was kneeling before me.
No, no, no, no, no.
Tugging at his hands didn’t help. I wasn’t even sure if he noticed my attempts to entice him into getting up again.
This wasn’t good. How could I prevent him from speaking?
One fact was evident. If I read his intentions right, the silencing technique he’d used on Samhain was absolutely out of the question—for obvious reasons.
And why was he smiling? His dimples were the last thing I needed on display now.
His thumb brushed over one of my hands, which he still held hostage, as he thwarted all my efforts to derail the situation and opened his mouth.
“Nayana. Just listen a little bit longer, for this is important. Doesn’t matter that I have no idea how to do this right. How to do anything right. But I’ll try, fine?”
Only the wind playing with my hair was to blame for any part of me moving since I was frozen, once more reduced to prey, in this never-ending circle between us.
“I promise never to hurt you. But we both are under no illusion about what my instincts and convictions demand from me. Whoever threatens what’s mine has to be eliminated. And whoever hurts you is in for worlds of pain and suffering.”
There it was again, the darkness surrounding Dion like a heavy blanket, and for a moment, I was suffocating under the responsibility he was giving me.
He’d killed hundreds—thousands, if not more—without remorse when he had nothing.
Shuddering, I failed to conjure enough imagination to envision what atrocities this male would be able to commit once he’d found something worth living for—and I couldn’t fathom why he’d concluded that this something was me.
Not only would the two of us become victims of his instincts—if I weren’t treading carefully enough, the worlds would be too.
“Even though it doesn’t seem like it from time to time, I’m aware of how you loathe when you’re restricted and of how much my behavior irritates you on a regular basis.
But Nayana, this is the truth I’ve spent a long time figuring out.
I don’t want to imprison you or put you in a tower far away.
You’re much too precious for me to risk seeing you wither away.
I want you to flourish, to live to the fullest, but as I’m a selfish bastard—your words, not mine—I want you to do all this together with me.
And as you can see, I’m not above groveling at your feet if that’s what’s necessary for you to understand my point. ”
Dion’s features were painted with such sincerity that tears, born from the intense atmosphere, crept into my eyes.
His confession that he’d given up on attempting to hide me away in safety unfurled one of my biggest fears.
As much as I always pushed against the sentiment, I was under no illusion that if he really made up his mind to store me somewhere inaccessible, there would be nothing I could do to fight him.
But surely, this wasn’t the reason he was still kneeling, and although the wicked voices in my head told me exactly why he did so, my stubbornness clung to the hope that my demons were wrong.
The ball of panic lodged in my insides like a boulder grew and grew the longer I was caught up in this situation.
Never had I wished for a distraction more than in this moment. Maybe an assassin trying for my life? That should do the trick, right? But even though such an event wasn’t outside the realm of possibilities, I wasn’t so lucky.
“You’re everything to me, Nayana Garnet Ortha.
The sun and the moon, the earth and the sky, every single star.
The aurora in the firmament pales next to you.
And in all honesty, I don’t care if I can never call anything else mine as long as you’re with me.
I don’t need anyone else but you. Only you.
You hold my heart, my existence, my soul until the sands of time stop flowing, and even then, I’d put my own life down for you before I allow you to leave my side.
This I swear to you. And you have to know, as much as you are mine, I’m yours as well. ”
“Dion, please get up.” He still clutched my hands, and since I couldn’t stand for very much longer that he made himself small in front of me, I tugged another time. He had to rise to his feet; he simply had to.
As if he sensed my frantic desperation, he allowed me to pull him up. With the steely determination he usually only wore before a battle, he took the chance to tuck me into his chest. My head rested on his muscles, and his heart was racing just as much as mine.
“Dion.” Running out of arguments I could feed myself, and which would support my denial that he wasn’t referring to more than friendship but something so much deeper, my heart not only matched his one’s pace but surpassed it. My chest was burning, not only emotionally but also physically.
The silence between us screamed at me, and I cautiously freed my hands from their prison amidst our bodies.
Leaning my head back, I cupped his face gently between my fingers.
Although all this was way too much, too big, too out of my league, the last thing I wanted was to hurt Dion.
To cause more pain for the male who’d known nothing but torment in most of his past winters.
“I—you leave me speechless. But—I’m grateful you opened up. That must have been very hard for you. So, thank you for letting me in. You have no idea how much this means to me.”
“My whole life, I valued my privacy above everything else,” Dion said, fixating me with an intense stare.
“I never allowed anyone to see who I am deep inside, not even close. In the end, I even shut myself out. I traveled to Ivreia because Antas tricked me into accompanying him and the others in a last desperate attempt to determine if there was still hope for the empty shell I’d become.
Although sometimes, I suspect he dreamed of you crashing into my life like a whirlwind, wreaking havoc on me. ”
“Dion—”
Here it was, the eruption of the volcano, impossible to stop or evade. Once he’d started his confession, everything had to burst out.
Dion lifted his hand to silence me before I could interrupt him. “Let me speak. Please.”
My eyes widened as this little, typically so unassuming word hit my ears. Please? As seldom as he used the phrase, I usually wondered if the term was even part of his active vocabulary or an accident happening on rare occasions. But here, now, using this expression had been intentional.
He was so close. Heat radiated from him in waves, and despite the chilly wind, I was warm. Belatedly, I remembered to nod, agreeing to his wish for my silence.
“With you, everything is so different. Don’t you get how good we could be together?
How good we already are?” Dion embedded one of his hands in my hair, splayed his fingers against my head, and prevented me from averting my gaze.
“Not only do I yearn to let you in, but I’m compelled to keep you inside forever.
Every part of you, every part of me. The pretty, the ugly.
Never again will there be a day when less than all of me will ever be good enough for you.
The fates might have designed you as a poison to bring me down, but I don’t care anymore.
I don’t want to—I can’t let you leave me ever again.
You are mine, Nayana. Mine, mine, mine. And I’m yours. If you want to have me.”
Words.
Words, words, words.
What was I supposed to say? His speech had been beautiful, but the longer I pondered, the more I convinced myself that his confession had been born from infatuation, nothing more. Because more wasn’t real.
Dion’s hand on my waist tightened. “I have to come clean about a lie, Naya.”
“Another one? What now?” Glad for the shift in tone, I filled my lungs with a full breath of air, the first one for gods-know-how-long. However, I made a surprised noise as Dion feathered his calloused index finger over my lips.
Ah, yes. Silence.
“Yes. The truth is—agreeing to be your friend was a mistake because I want so much more than mere friendship, Nayana.”
No. Gods, please. How could something so wonderful as his words sting so much?
Of course, he noticed my turmoil, and from his patient smile, I concluded that he’d expected me to panic.
His fingers painted circular patterns on my back and my scalp, causing my breath, which had just returned, to disappear again.
I didn’t even deny I’d enjoyed every time we’d been close.
Dion knew precisely what made my body sing, and he proved this, as with every brush of his fingers, lightning shot right into my core.
And even though he didn’t comment on my physical reactions to his ministrations, his flaring nostrils spoke a language of their own.