Chapter 40
There was only pure chaos in my mind, and the silence between Nayana and me had turned oppressive when we finally stepped back into the ballroom.
I was burning for her, and despite being aware that I had to be patient, there was nothing I desired more than to pull her into my arms and never let her leave my embrace ever again.
Grabbing her by the hair and dragging her to my bed wouldn’t help my case, although the fantasy was definitely one I enjoyed entertaining.
Fuck this, it was imperative to get my mind out of the gutter.
Somehow, confessing my thoughts and feelings to Nayana had left me drained, and a particular weakness had settled into my every fiber, leaving me disoriented.
No one had ever been allowed to see so much of me, and as hard as I tried not to be disappointed that she hadn’t rushed into my arms and kissed me senseless, my rational side insisted on how highly unlikely such a reaction would have been.
Nayana granting me a chance to back up my words with deeds was the best outcome I could have hoped for. And if I wasn’t lacking one thing, it was determination.
As usual, my stubborn female would come around.
There was only one right way to proceed from here.
The first step was to ensure that no one would disrespect Nayana ever again, not even my grandfather. So, having her reseated from that disgrace of a table they had placed her at to humiliate her to something more suitable—like my lap—would be my immediate action.
And then—
—I royally fucked up.
As I mulled over the pros and cons of enacting the plan forming in my mind today, or at an opportunity less public, Danartha appeared out of nowhere, and I was too preoccupied and distracted to shake her off or to put her in her place once and for all.
Fuck.
Naya stared at my retreating form, stunned in place with eyes as big as saucers, her expression almost gutting me. Disbelief radiated from her tiny form, and my chest ached. Had I already done more damage than I could repair?
Gods, this was too fucked up.
Well, I’d deal with everything. First, with the vile female inserting herself into my life time and time again, then I’d mend the fresh wound between Nayana and me before the rift could fester.
Fuck being cautious.
With a vicious snarl at Danartha, I placed my feet firmly on the ground, and even though we were in the middle of the dance floor, there was no way I’d take any more steps to the music with her.
“Didn’t I spend an hour of my precious time earlier and explain to you with great patience that you have to leave me alone, Danartha? ”
“You’re clearly confused. Ivreia didn’t do you any good.”
“Since when are you such an excellent judge of character?”
“When it comes to you? I’ve always been, Scriosta.”
Fury circulated in my veins, as hot as I imagined the Restless Desert to be, and I bared my teeth to the female in front of me, a warning gesture of the escalating aggression fueling my anger.
“Just because my grandfather never misses an opportunity to throw us together in some official function or because we fucked a few times, you can’t be under the delusion of having any clue about me. ”
Why was I still choosing the nice way? A voice in my mind insisted on solving the problem once and for all, and my fingers twitched.
Reminding myself that if I tore her chest open, ruptured her sternum, and crushed her heart with my bare hands as I feasted on her suffering, the crowd wouldn’t stay docile, which was a prerequisite for the more important next step of my plan.
Yes, I yearned to slaughter every single one of those preposterous fools present, but sadly, I needed witnesses.
“You always lash out when you feel seen.”
Fine, that one was correct. Only it wasn’t she who’d seen all of me.
Taking my anger and morphing the emotions into a mask so cold, I wouldn’t have been surprised if I’d frozen everyone around us.
As I stared at her as if she were nothing more than the dirt under my fingernails, my voice cut through the air.
“Leave Alaiann. Return to Laidir. I don’t want you to reside at the palace anymore. Or else—”
Danartha had the fucking audacity to laugh.
Chains rattled.
Something thundered.
“As if you could order me around.”
“If I were you, I would be very cautious. Remember your fucking place, Eiri.” Customs and conventions were critical to fae, like honoring the rites, bowing to power, acknowledging the gods—contrary to upholding the laws, which often enough clashed with said customs—and calling another fae by any other name than the one they’d chosen as their main was the gravest of insults.
Even I had never stooped so low, but there was a first time for everything.
Not only had Danartha picked up Galrach’s habit of spitting in my face and breaking convention in calling me Scriosta at every fucking opportunity, she’d also pissed me off enough that obliterating this boundary I’d set for myself was an easy decision.
“Because if you dig your grave much deeper, only one thing will get you out of your predicament, and that would be fucking my grandfather.”
“How can you be so disrespectful? You’re talking about the High King.”
“Ah, so you are warming his bed, aren’t you?”
“No, I'm not.”
Shaking my head, I contemplated which insult to hurl at her when my world stopped turning, and I froze.
All sound vanished, deafened by my blood roaring in my ears.
My vision was tinted red after I’d spotted something worse than Danartha could ever be, and the beast in me roared its ugly head.
Magic leaked from me, an unconscious reaction as my surroundings faded away.
Like through a tunnel, I stared at my Nayana, who was dancing with Thain.
Earlier, when I’d realized she’d spent time much too close to Cantarlann, I’d been furious to no end. But compared to what I was witnessing now, it had been nothing.
Nothing.
My deep-seated hatred for Thain exploded, coated every inch of me, and my subconscious screamed in cacophonous cadences, urging me to neutralize the threat he posed once and for all.
But as much as I wanted to tear him into tiny pieces and fuck my female on top of his remains, the last thread of reason held.
Barely.
Not only did my fantasy of Thain’s demise and the potential events following the action have the flaw that Naya wouldn’t be thrilled or that said act would have the same outcome as if I disposed of Danartha, but the disgust battling the choir of howls in my head kept me immobile.
How could I confess my deepest feelings to Nayana and then incinerate my chance to convince her of the unfoundedness of her fears when I’d allowed another female to whisk me away only minutes after?
With the size of my blunder, it shouldn’t have come as a surprise that she’d sought consolation in the arms of another male whom she…trusted, but still, my understanding of why she longed for solace couldn’t change how much I loathed her in another’s embrace, and especially his.
And she wouldn’t even look at me. She wasn’t sparing me a single glance. Instead, she was fixated on Thain’s soon-to-be-destroyed face, smiling, her cheeks rosy.
No.
“Scriosta.”
Fuck no.
Danartha sounded far away, and even if I’d cared for her a sliver of an inch, I would have ignored her.
She was of no significance.
None at all.
This was it at last. My breaking point.
No more pondering.
No more outside control, like I’d allowed all those centuries.
No more following my grandfather’s every whim.
Just because I couldn’t hurt him didn’t mean he owned me.
After all, I could attack everything around him he held dear—his reign had started and was persisting thanks to me, even though he tended to forget that.
And what would a king with no subjects to rule over be worth?
I’d annihilate every single living soul opposing me if necessary.
Galrach believed I had no backbone? I’d fucking prove him wrong.
He would learn to fear me until he was begging for his death.
But first, my female.
My lips twisted into a half-smirk. My path was clear, and I was done questioning the timing.
Here and now was the only option.
Consequences be damned.
During the dance with Thain, I concentrated on the redhead and attempted not to waste a single thought on Dion, as hard as this was. Although I was unsuccessful in banishing him from my mind, at least I avoided seeking him out with my eyes.
Not once.
Even if ignoring him almost destroyed me.
“Listen, darling. Danartha is one of those rare beings even I wouldn’t touch. She could be the last breathing creature alive, and I’d rather resort to fucking my hand for all eternity. She’s rotten to the core, that one.”
“Uh, who are you, and what have you done to Thain? Isn’t your entire personality that anyone is welcome to park their shoes under your bed?” Teasing him was easy and enjoyable for both of us. The tension in the background that had existed between us for a while had evaporated into thin air.
The revelation that he might not be as shallow as he pretended to be and that he had good reasons to maintain such a front had changed something. I still had some unresolved issues with him, but in the end, I was convinced that we would be able to clear the air someday soon.
Surely, we could reconcile one day about how all had gone down when we’d trained together. If I learned one thing lately, then it was that nothing was as it seemed when it concerned the males I considered friends.
“You wound me, fair Nayana.”
“Jester.”
“Hm, oddly fitting.”
“Don’t tell me I’m the first one to call you that.”
“Hm, well, then I won’t.”
“Thain.” A genuine giggle freed itself from my chest, and moments later, we were both laughing to a degree that bordered on hysterical.
The lively song the other couples and we were moving to wasn’t close to being finished when the piece stopped mid-melody, leaving an ominous silence behind. Confused voices echoed through the quietness, and, like me, everyone seemed clueless as to why the musicians had lowered their instruments.
“Why did the music stop, Thain?”
“Beats me.”
“Huh.”
The redhead was craning his neck as he observed the hall, never letting me go—was he intending to protect me from potential harm? It surely felt like that, and a fond warmth engulfed my heart.
“Ah, well, that makes more sense.”
“What do you mean?”
Tension eased from Thain as he unwrapped himself and stepped next to me.
“I’d better keep my hands far away from you, sweet thing.
If I’m correct, His Royal Highness insists on giving a speech, but His Royal Majesty isn’t in agreement, the prince doesn’t give a single flying fuck about his grandfather’s wishes, has stopped the musicians, and is currently stalking to the dais while the High King fumes. ”
Thain sounded too amused. If only half of his observations were accurate, mirth was the last thing they evoked in me.
There was no future imaginable in which the unhinged and raw version of today’s Dion could make wise choices.
And voicing dumb ones publicly in front of his grandfather, whom he was already angering in addressing the High Court against his will, was a total disaster. “This isn’t good.”
“Probably not.”
“Can’t we stop him?”
“Unlikely. If the High King decides that presenting a unified front with his heir is more important than keeping his scion from staging a public display, who are we to interfere?”
“You’re enjoying this, aren’t you?”
“What can I say? I like chaos.”