Chapter 18
CHLOE
The following morning, I woke up late, so I figured Evan and Effie must’ve already been gone for the day.
Dragging myself out of bed, I stretched, still thinking about the sexual tension last night. I kept wondering if he’d felt it, too. I was surprised hard-ass Evan had gone there with the sex talk. I scolded myself for getting my hopes up when Evan had given me no real reason to.
When I entered the kitchen, I noticed a neon pink note stuck to the coffee maker. And a neon pink note meant only one thing. My heart lurched. It was a challenge, from Evan. Holy shit.
But then I read it, and my excitement faltered.
Go visit your dad.
My stomach sank. I immediately reached for my phone and called him.
“I see you got my note,” he said in greeting.
“Why would you do that to me?” I shouted.
“Why not?” He chuckled. “You don’t have to do it, Chloe.”
“Of course I do. There was one rule when it came to those challenges. And you know that.”
He nodded. “You can’t say no. That was the rule. Well, you could, but you didn’t want to, because proving you could do something was more important than feeling comfortable.” He paused. “But fuck that rule. Nobody’s forcing you to do anything.”
“I wish you hadn’t done this.”
“Of course you wish that. But I think deep down, you know that facing him will be good for you. And once you do it, you’ll feel better. It’ll make the rest of your time here easier, even if you don’t realize that now.”
Looking down at the fluorescent pink paper, I murmured, “I have to think about it.”
“Chloe, seriously. I didn’t start this to upset you. I just think you’ll be happy that you did it.”
I sighed. “Okay. Goodbye, Evan. Have a nice day. It’s sure to be better than mine.”
“Does that mean you’re going to see him today?”
“Not making any promises.”
“I’m just a phone call away if you need me.”
“Thank you.” I hung up and muttered, “Son of a bitch.”
***
After working until noon, I’d visited Mom, which had been first on my afternoon agenda anyway.
The entire time I’d sat next to her, I kept thinking, if only she knew that I might be seeing the woman who replaced her today.
If I decided to take Evan up on his challenge, that is. The idea still made me want to vomit.
So now I was at the storage facility, filling another bag with donation items and taking my sweet time.
It doesn’t have to be today, I told myself.
I could stop by his house another day this week.
The challenges always had a deadline of seven days.
But something in me said if I was going to see my father, I needed to do it now.
I wanted to be brave and get it over with.
Five more minutes, and then I’ll go.
Taking a deep breath to calm myself, I took a seat and opened the diary I’d been reading. Ironically, I found a passage that had to do with the challenge game.
This morning Evan left me a pink note that challenged me to spend the entire day without my phone.
I hadn’t done that since I got one years ago.
I kept reaching for it, which showed me just how much of a habit checking my phone had become.
But I used the time to clean my room and sit in the one coffee shop in town by myself and just think.
I paused to appreciate the aroma of the coffee beans and listened to the hissing sound of the steamed milk.
Then tonight at dinner, I actually participated in the conversation my parents were having about this year’s Christmas bazaar at the church.
I offered to make macadamia nut cookies for the bake sale.
If I’d had my phone, I might not have even been listening to what they were saying long enough to volunteer.
An entire day without my phone felt like a gift.
Maybe I could try doing it again. Not every day—I’m not that strong. But maybe once a week.
I went to Evan’s room tonight to get my phone back.
I’d asked him to keep it so he knew I wasn’t cheating.
That was important to me. He hugged me and told me he was proud of me.
It was the first time he’d ever hugged me like that.
I wasn’t prepared for how amazing it would feel.
I still don’t know whether he sees me as anything more than a friend.
All this time, I’ve wondered whether he’s just been waiting for me to turn eighteen.
But my eighteenth birthday has already happened and the dynamic of our relationship hasn’t changed.
I’m starting to give up hope that he has any romantic interest in me.
Although, sometimes I catch him looking at me in a way that tells me otherwise.
So it’s confusing. Maybe he’s afraid to make the first move. Maybe I need to test the waters more.
I cringed. Testing the waters had ultimately led to the demise of our relationship. I shut the diary and forced myself up.
After locking the storage unit, I got into my car. As I headed down the road, I still wasn’t sure that I wouldn’t chicken out and go back to Evan’s instead of to my father’s house. But I wanted to report to Evan that I’d been brave enough to go through with it.
Damn you, Evan. I kept cursing him under my breath.
As I parked in front of my dad’s, I gave myself credit for getting here, even if I might not have the courage to knock today.
This was the first time I’d ever seen his new house.
It was small, just big enough for two people, the only two people who seemed to matter to my father anymore: his new wife and himself.
The house was white with blue shutters and a perfectly manicured lawn.
I was sure Dad took care of it as well as he had our lawn back in the day.
Seemed like my sister, mom, and I were a lawn now—only we were dried up and uncared for while his new life got all of his attention. The grass is always greener, right?
Feeling my eyes well up, I debated just considering this a first step and heading home.
I could try again tomorrow. Maybe this was one challenge I had to work my way up to.
But I was probably just lying to myself.
Tomorrow or the next day might be even harder.
Dad’s car was here now, and it might not be the next time.
Leaning my head against the back of my seat, I told myself I could have five minutes to calm down before going to the door.
When the five minutes were up, I felt no calmer. Still, I forced myself out of the car and walked slowly to the front door. After I knocked, my heart felt like it might pound out of my chest.