13. Angels are assholes.
THIRTEEN
Angels are assholes.
Angels were sneaky bastards. The instant I slid into Quinn’s convertible, my whole body started tingling and the smoldering heat of the incubus’s influence rushed through me. The chiming laughter of angels rang in my ears.
First they smited me, then they dumped me in Quinn’s car, revved my engine, tossed in an extra side order of lust, and laughed about it.
It took all my willpower to keep from squirming on the leather seat.
I bit my lip, buckled my seat belt, and waited for him to start the car and get on the road. “Hey, Quinn?”
“What?”
“Angels are assholes.”
“Oh?”
The tinkling laughter intensified before dissipating like fog in the morning light. “Angels like you, don’t they?”
He snorted. “What gives you that idea?”
“I think they want me to have sex with you right now.” I really wanted to unbuckle my seatbelt, crawl to his side of the car, and start ripping off his clothes. Maybe I’d even let him pull over first. “I’ll take anything. Something. Please.”
“Hallelujah and amen. Thank you, God.”
Great. The angels had a convert. “It’s the incubus’s fault, Quinn. And they’re laughing about it. The angels lulled me into a false sense of security, put me in your car, and then flipped the sex switch.”
“The angels flipped the sex switch, huh? So I guess this means you don’t want to go out for a nice dinner and do some clothes shopping before I take you home?
I was also thinking we might sit down and have a long talk about us.
We probably should have talked sooner, but I can’t help it I’m just a man.
When a beautiful woman tells me she’s a virgin and wants me to spank her, I obey. ”
“That should classify as cruel and unusual punishment. I hate you so much right now.”
Worse, I loved hating him. Damn it, the man confused me and made me like it.
“That’s only because you want me to throw you onto my bed and have my way with you. I’m not against making love with you all night long. I’m sure I’ll enjoy it.”
“Yes, please.” I bit my lip. “Sneaky angels.”
Quinn laughed. “Angels have a very odd culture. They’re probably thanking you for having done a good deed.
They’re also telepaths and can read minds.
Since incubi are really, really good at stirring human desires, the angels likely knew everything you were thinking in there and who you were thinking about.
Did I mention they’re telepaths and mind readers?
So, without a doubt, they knew what I was thinking, too.
It involved me being very, very cranky you were anywhere near an incubus.
Angels are jerks and enjoy screwing around with me.
The good news is you’ll survive until I get you home. ”
“What’s the bad news? That tells me there’s bad news. Hasn’t there been enough bad news?”
“I have to get rid of my ex-wife before I can toss you onto my bed and have my way with you. Audrey’s probably camped out on my front step and won’t go away until I talk to her. She’s a pain in the ass like that.”
I scowled. Quinn’s ex-wife was at his house? Unacceptable. “I guess I’d get arrested if I got rid of her, wouldn’t I?”
“I have a trick up my sleeve that should get rid of her, so don’t worry. It shouldn’t delay us for long.”
Alarm bells went off in my head, which distracted me from my desire to have my way with Quinn as soon as possible. While still tempted to beg him to pull into the nearest dark alley, I swallowed and asked, “What are you going to do?”
“When she asks what you’re doing at my house, I’m going to tell her the truth.
I’m going to tell her you’re living with me.
I’m going to do this while I admire you in those jeans you’re wearing.
If she doesn’t get the hint, I’m going to start running my hands all over you before I toss you over my shoulder and carry you into my house.
Then I’m going to slam the door, lock it, and we’re going to make so much noise that she gets uncomfortable and leaves. ”
How had I gone from hopeless and doomed to stay a virgin to having one of the hottest men in Manhattan wanting to throw me over his shoulder and carry me into his house to establish his territory? My poor ovaries couldn’t handle much more before they combusted.
Just like that, the angels had made a second convert. Thank you, God. “Did the incubus influence you, too? Because that’s hot, Quinn. That’s ‘pull the damned car over’ hot.”
“Bailey, if the incubus had influenced me, we’d still be in the bar having sex with an audience. It’d be on the morning news. Actually, they’d have to censor the whole thing because us together is so amazing no one would be able to handle watching it.”
I spent a very long minute trying to imagine what would have happened in the bar. “I’m strangely disappointed right now.”
“Of course you are. You want me. I’m impressed you haven’t tried to seduce me while I’m driving. You have a freakish amount of self-control.”
“Your house has an ex-wife infestation. It might end up condemned. We should go find a hotel. I haven’t had a chance to be a girlfriend before, and I don’t want to be a convict before I become a girlfriend.”
“You’re going to have to help me out with this one, Bailey. I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
“If your ex-wife comes between you, me, and a bed, I will kill her.”
“I followed that part. It’s the convict before girlfriend part I’m having trouble with.”
I frowned. “You just explained it. What don’t you understand? I don’t want to be a convict before I have a chance to be a girlfriend.”
“Bailey.”
“What?”
“I don’t do casual hookups or one-night stands.
I present the evidence you were, until yesterday, a twenty-nine year old virgin as proof you don’t either.
You’re the first woman I’ve been with since I divorced.
You’re a damned beautiful girl, and since I find friendship—even a weird one with lots of yelling and bickering—mandatory for a relationship, I think it’s safe to say you’re my girlfriend.
Granted, I really should have talked to you about this first, but you had to open your mouth and beg me to spank you.
” His voice turned husky. “I enjoyed every moment I spent making love to you in every room of my house.”
I had seen my face in the mirror enough times to know I had little scars all over my cheeks and nose. Even before a bomb had gone off in my face, I didn’t think I was pretty, let alone beautiful. “Oh.”
He shot me a grin. “You found my weakness and exploited it. Well done.”
I needed him, and I needed him now. “There’s a really seedy hotel less than two miles from your house. We could go there.”
“I know. How do I know? I was home when the call came in you’d been found there in critical condition. For the record, that was when I decided I needed to take extra measures to get your attention.”
I should have known. Crap. I scrunched my shoulders and slouched in my seat. “I really was going to call a cab and take myself to the hospital.”
“You know what? Screw it. Let’s go to a hotel. I don’t do seedy ones, though. Audrey can stalk my empty house for all I care. I’ve got better things to do right now. You, for the record.”
Yes, yes, yes! Score.
“We’re staying at the Plaza?”
A smug Quinn flashed me a grin, turned the car around, and headed towards Central Park.
“I don’t do seedy hotels, it’s close to work, and they have really nice beds.
They’ll also have dinner ready not long after we arrive.
I hope you like steak and potatoes, because I’m going to be feeding it to you piece by piece. ”
“You have my attention.”
“All I’d have to do to have your attention right now is unbutton my shirt.”
“I can help you with that.”
“You can wait ten minutes.”
Could I? Maybe, but I didn’t want to. I settled with staring at him, and he chuckled, a low, throaty sound I wanted to hear again.
I sat on my hands. Undressing him before we got to the hotel wouldn’t help very much, no matter how badly I wanted to.
“Someone like me doesn’t belong at the Plaza, you know. ”
Quinn snorted. “Are you referring to your matted, pink, and glittery hair, your pink-stained shirt, or the fact your jeans should be classified as a felony?”
“What’s wrong with my jeans?”
“Nothing. That’s the problem. I’m going to have to peel you out of them. It’ll be like unwrapping a present, but a stubborn one prone to wiggling.”
“You’re doing this on purpose, aren’t you?”
“Me? Tease the incubus-influenced woman I intend to keep thoroughly occupied in our hotel room starting in about ten minutes? Never.”
“You could just pull into an alley, damn it!”
“Is this whole alley fetish a sign of your desperation, or are you actually interested in making out in an alley?”
Damn it. I scowled, pulled my hands out from under me, crossed my arms over my chest, and stared out the window. “You drive too slow.”
“Taking my woman to a hotel so we can stay up all night isn’t a legitimate excuse to run my sirens.
You’ll survive for ten minutes. I suppose I should scold those angels for not waiting until we were somewhere a bit more private before dropping their magic.
That was a little underhanded of them. Are you being rewarded or punished?
Maybe you were right, and I’m the one being rewarded while you’re being punished. I can live with that.”
I needed to think long and hard about what I liked so much about Samuel Quinn. Everything, which was my default answer, had to be incorrect. “You’re an asshole.”
“But I’m an asshole who is really good in bed and willing to prove it to you all night long.”
Once again, he won, and the smug bastard knew it, too. I surrendered with a whimper, slouched in the seat, and decided my goal in life was to keep from squirming, whimpering, or moaning until we reached the hotel room.